Have you Ever?
 By Athenae



E-mail: bellathenae@yahoo.com



Prologue
Heero looked up as the sky poured down in heavy tourents. He let the rain fall on his face, in his dark brownhair and wet his cloths. He wanted to die.

Being dead was a welcoming thought for him. He knew why. He knew that he had just lost someone very dear to him. Someone close to his heart.

The clouds were dark gray, and one could tell that the rain wouldn't stop coming down in heavy buckets for a while still. He liked this darkness, it too was welcoming. It set the mood for his depression, and for his tormented mind.

Why had he just let her die like that? He needed her. He....loved her. No, he more than loved that girl. He would do anything for her. But obviously, he would do anything but sacrifice his own life for her. What had happened? Why was everything so cloudy to him?

His eyes narrowed. Why couldn't he remember? Had he been knocked out? It was a reasonable excuse for why he had this headache. And her dying had caused him misery and pain. He never really thought that he could possibly feel this way for a woman before. It was strong.

But this girl was different. She was like him. She was what he had been looking for, secretly that is. He had always wanted someone he could love, but he never knew it would be a girl like this. He never knew his emotions would take a hold on him this much. It was almost like the adrelane he felt while he was piloting his gundam. Maybe, even more controling.

All he knew was that he had trusted her. He had let her hold his heart in her petit hands, and someone had killed her. And while they killed her, they had killed him.

Heero closed his persian eyes. He took the deepest breath he could accomplish, filling his lungs with as much air as he possibly could and let it out in one long, heavy breath. He rolled over on his stomach and lifted him self with his upper body so he was on his feet within seconds.

He felt a pain raise through his body, shooting out from his left side. He quickly clutched his side with his right hand and flinched slightly. It occured to him now, that he had tried to fight back. But how had he tried to? Why can't I remember anything?

For once in his life, he let his tears come forth, stinging his eyes. He blinked once, letting them fall from his watered eyes and rolling down his cheek. He closed his eyes, lowering his head down and holding back a sob.

He said her name out loud, in a begging tone, hoping she was still alive. He pleaded, and he begged.

"Please be alive..." he prayed.

"She's not a live, and you know it," a cold, chilling voice lingered from the shadows.

"I don't want her to be dead," Heero replied in his same emotionless voice, his cold eyes roaming the shadows.

"She is. You might have tried to keep her alive but your effort wasn't enough." Heeor shook his head, letting the raindrops fall from his head as he shook.

"It is your fault, Heero Yuy, Gundam Pilot 001 of Wing Zero," the voice stated knowingly. Heero did not like his tone of voice, and he didn't like that this person knew so much about him.

Heero turned his back to the voice. If he got shot down, he didn't care. That's what he wanted. He wanted to be dead. Everything around him seemed to be just as dead as he was inside.

The once green and lively trees were a dull green and wilting down to the hard gray soil that was once fertile. The grass and moss near and around the trees had disapeared and the dark clouds covered the sun's happy smile.

"The sun will never come out again, Heero," the voice sneered. "Because of you."

Heero kept on walking, ignoring the voice. He didn't know if it was really his fault, and he could not trust this strange voice.

"I hope you're happy," the voice snarled, an evident growl made clear at the end of his statement.

"I never will be happy again," Heero said back. Heero didn't stop. He kept walking, still watching the rain fall from the sky.

He heard the familiar sound of the safety and a gun shot soon following. Heero knew he could dogdge the bullet, but he didn't. He waited for the inviting pain to end his already made pain. He didn't want to be miserable anymore.


 Heero gasped suddenly, sitting up from his bed covered in cold, sticky sweat. He grunted. What was that?

"God, Hee-chan, you need to stop eating before you go to sleep..." Duo mumbled drowsily on the bed next to him. Duo turned around the face the opposite direction of Heero and situating himself for a brief moment before snoring again.

Heero started to calm his breathing down, settling back down in bed.


To Be Continued Soon.
I don't know who I'm going to pair up with who! I'm thinking I'm going to have the regular couples, but I'm not sure right now. It seems like a lot of people like Usagi/Heero, and a lot of people like Minako/Heero. And same goes for Usagi/Duo and Minako/Duo. Everyone else usually wants the regular couples. So, I guess I really don't know -_-;; ...

Well, I guess I'll see you next chapter! Until then, JA NE!


Love, Athenae
Disclaimers: I do not own the Senshi or the Pilots, or either of the animes! I just own this story. So no sueing.