Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Without a Trace, except my DVDs and my imagination, though I'd like to!
This is a post-ep for 1:11 Maple Street (such a great J/S episode- I couldn't resist!) so SPOILERS!
Sam barely heard the door shut behind her over Mrs Miller's heart-wrenching cries.
She hardly registered the cold, wet raindrops splashing down her face, feeling only the tears coursing down her cheeks.
Samantha reached her car, pulled open the door and got in. It was only then that overwhelming sobs broke from their barriers and racked through her body. Leaning her arms against the steering wheel, Sam thought about the previous two days that had become a tired, emotional and depressing blur.
She thought about Annie, the thirteen year old girl who they had been unable to save, and her best friend in the world Siobhan, who would now have to carry on alone. It made her feel sick, what had happened to them, and they were so young...
It was the harsh and sudden ring of her phone that brought Samantha's thoughts crashing back to reality. She took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her face.
"Spade." she answered, trying to stop her voice from wavering and betraying her grief.
"Sam, are you okay?" Jack's voice asked immediately, laced with concern.
"I'm fine." came the automatic response.
"Well, you don't sound fine Sam." Jack replied. "What's happened? Where are you?"
"I'm..." Her voice wavered; Sam bit her lip to try and delay the threatening onslaught of tears until she had hung up the phone.
"Sam please, tell me what's wrong." He pressed.
"I'm in Ravenwood." She told him quietly. "I went to see Annie's mom. I wanted to give her Annie's DVDs back, so she could have them to..." Again speech failed her.
"Oh Sam, why didn't you tell me you were going, you shouldn't have gone on your own." He paused, and then went on. "I would have come with you Sam."
"No, I'm fine Jack really, I just... It was just so..." Another wave of grief washed over her. Samantha suppressed a sob.
"I'm gonna come get you okay? Stay where you are Sam and I'll be there in ten minutes."
"Jack, I've got my car, I'm fine, I'm just gonna go home." Samantha argued, but her boss interrupted her.
"No Sam you're too upset to drive home, and besides it's pouring. I'm gonna come get you okay; no arguments."
Sam sighed, mumbling "Okay Jack" before ending the call.
Jack shoved his cell back in his pocket, grabbed his coat and headed towards the elevator. He pressed the little gold button hard, and the doors opened seconds later. As soon as they opened again onto the lobby of the FBI building, Jack pulled his coat tightly around him and made his way outside.
"Taxi!" he called, using his best FBI Agent tone, and almost immediately a car pulled up in front of him. Careful to avoid the cab's spray of water from the puddles in the street, and the now steadily pouring rain, Jack yanked the door open and climbed inside. "Maple Street, Ravenwood please. Quick as you can." The cabbie nodded at Jack's request, and pulled sharply away from the curb. Eight minutes later he was exiting the vehicle, handing over a couple of notes to the driver.
Jack glanced up and down the quiet, suburban street. He spotted Sam's bureau car opposite Carol Miller's house. As he approached Jack could see Samantha in the driver's seat; he went round and knocked on the window. Sam jumped and lifted her head from her hands to look up at Jack's face; his concern and care evident even through the smears of rain covering the glass.
When Sam met his gaze, Jack felt his heart jump; he could see from the redness around her brown eyes how much she'd been crying, the track marks from the tears still evident on her cheeks. Jack opened the door and, taking Sam by the hand, he pulled her out of the car and into his arms. She melted in his embrace, his arms strong and safe around her. Before she'd even tried to stop it, more sobs had overwhelmed her and Sam began to cry again.
"It's okay Sam, it's okay, I'm here." Jack whispered, one hand stroking her hair damp from the rain, and the other rubbing her back comfortingly.
"Jack it was just so... I couldn't..." Sam murmured into his chest between sobbing and gasping for breath.
"Shh Sam, I know, I know, just try not to think about it." Jack told her, wrapping his arms tighter around her.
"I can't." She choked, fresh tears flowing down her face, soaking the front of Jack's coat. He didn't seem to notice; his entire attention was focussed on Samantha.
"I know." He said again. "Come on, I'll take you home." Sam allowed herself to be bundled back into the car- the passenger seat this time- and tried to wipe the remaining tears away as Jack hurried round to the other side.
Climbing in out of the worsening weather, Jack glanced over at his colleague. Her blonde hair was slightly windswept and wet, with more moisture dripping from the end of her nose and down her cheeks- but he wasn't sure if it was rain or tears. He suspected it was both.
Jack started the car and drove back to Sam's apartment. He looked over at her a couple of times but she was staring out of the window, one hand held up to her face, probably in a vain attempt to hold back the threat of more tears. Her other hand was in her lap, her pale fingers trembling slightly as they fiddled with a button on her jacket. As the car slowed to stop at a red light, Jack reached over and took Sam's hand in his own. She looked up at him, surprised, but smiled weakly after a moment. He squeezed her hand gently and she returned the gesture, glad of his presence.
They stopped outside the apartment building and Samantha turned to face her boss.
"Thanks Jack." She said, trying to smile again despite the unshed tears sparkling in her brown eyes. "You don't have to come in, I'll be okay."
"I know you will." He told her. "But I'm going to anyway, just to make sure." Sam smiled at him. They got out of the car and headed up the steps together. Once in out of the rain, they made their way over to the elevator and up to Sam's floor, dripping onto the linoleum floor tiles in the lobby.
Outside Samantha's door, she fumbled with her key, finally managing to turn and open it. Sam was very aware of Jack's close presence behind her as they entered the apartment, but she found it comforting, glad that he was there for her even after their relationship had ended.
Not that Sam had wanted it to end though. She was still very much in love with Jack, maybe more so than when they had been together. But she could never tell him how she felt. He was trying to make things work with his wife, and Sam wasn't prepared to go back to being 'the other woman'. She would just have to force herself to move on. Martin was a nice guy- so Danny kept reminding her- and he definitely seemed to like her, maybe she should give him a chance? But then again, dating co-workers hadn't worked out too well for her the first time...
Jack followed Samantha into the apartment, slipping his wet coat off and putting it on a nearby radiator to dry. Sam did the same before making a beeline for the coffee machine.
"Do you want one?" She asked, turning to Jack who had already made himself comfortable on her couch.
"Sure, thanks." He answered. Jack picked up a magazine from the coffee table and began flicking through it idly while Sam made coffee. When she came over and handed him a mug, Jack tossed the magazine back onto the pile, taking the drink from her.
"Thanks Sam." Jack said gratefully. Sam took a seat beside him, sipping at her own drink. They sat in silence for a few minutes; enjoying each other's company and the soothing warmth of the coffee.
"Feeling any better?" Jack asked after a while, leaning forward to put his empty mug on the table. He sat back and watched Sam closely.
"Yeah, I guess." She said, cradling her mug in both hands and staring down into it.
"Sam..." Jack went on. "It was a really tough case, for everyone."
"Yeah I know. It's just... she was so young..." Sam felt her voice wavering again. "And now Siobhan is all on her own..."
"No, Sam, she not alone. She's got her mom and her dad who love her." Jack told her, reaching over and touching Sam's arm. "But you're right, she was young... too young to go through that."
"No-one should... have to go through that." Sam said; her bottom lip beginning to tremble as fresh tears started to slip down her cheeks. Jack took the mug out of Sam's shaking hands, placed it on the table beside his own and moved closer to her.
"No they shouldn't." He agreed, one hand holding hers and the other touching her cheek. His thumb brushed a tear away, slipping down to lightly trace her jaw line. Jack gently massaged the back of Sam's neck, causing her head to tilt backwards and her eyelids to flutter closed.
"Jack..." She breathed; her whole body relaxing to his touch. Jack shifted closer to her. He leaned in towards her, her eyes opening when his lips were mere inches from hers. Sam looked into his eyes, her heart pounding. He closed the distance between them, pressing his lips against hers; tenderly at first, then more passionately as she began to respond. Sam wrapped her arms around Jack's neck, pulling him closer still. One hand on her back and the other stroking her hair, Jack deepened the kiss. After a moment they broke apart, gasping for precious air. Jack caressed Sam's cheek, his thumb brushing against her lips.
"Sorry... that was... I shouldn't have..." Jack started, his hand dropping away from her face.
"It's okay Jack." Sam told him quietly. They sat in silence, neither sure what to do.
"I should go." Jack said after a moment.
"Yeah." Sam agreed, a little reluctantly. He stood up and retrieved his damp coat from the radiator. Samantha followed him to the door. "Well thanks for... you know... earlier." Jack turned to face her.
"No problem." His answer was quiet, but accompanied by a smile. Sam smiled back. They stood there, looking at each other, neither wanting to break the spell.
"I should..." Jack repeated, without taking his eyes off her.
"Yeah." Sam responded again. She stepped forward and, making a decision, kissed him softly on the lips before adding: "Thanks Jack."
Jack's feet stepped backwards out of the apartment, and Sam slowly closed the door. Jack sighed, then turned and began making his way down the corridor, his brain (well his feet) putting distance between them, despite his heart screaming for him to stop.
Samantha stood there, staring at the closed door for a few seconds, before swallowing the now familiar ache in her heart, forcing herself to turn away and head back into the apartment, the barrier between them restored once more.