A/N: Dang crack-tastic plot bunny! It wouldn't leave my mind alone until I got this down. -_- I may continue this if I get more inspiration for it. Maybe. In the meantime, I'm still working on The Curious Case of Gilbert Nightray.

Disclaimer: Don't own either Pandora Hearts or its characters or The Wizard of Oz and its characters.

Omake: The Duke of Pandora

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In the drawing room of an undisclosed mansion, several mysterious packets of paper appeared. What was it? The script for The Wizard of Oz, slightly modified. One by one, different people found their way to this room, after an unknown person had left detailed notes for them in various places. Compelled to do as the notes bid—most had tempting promises attached—each person picked up the script marked with his or her name, then sat about the large, ornate room, silently reading through their parts and drinking tea.

"How the hell did I end up as the Cowardly Lion?" Gilbert poked at the script in disgust. "I resent that."

"You mean 'resemble,' Raven-kun." Break sipped his tea. He'd already perused his copy of the play. "Besides, I heard someone had considered you for Dorothy, so be grateful."

A bead of sweat slid down Gilbert's temple. "Dorothy? Why?"

Break shrugged. Emily piped up from his shoulder, "Because it woulda been hilarious, stupid."

Instead of answering, Gilbert rubbed his forehead with a gloved hand. He was feeling a headache coming on, and rehearsals hadn't even started yet.

Across the room, Oz and Alice were reading through their parts.

"What's a Toto? Is that something to eat?" Alice tilted her head to the side.

Oz chuckled. "No, Alice, Toto's a dog. Though…it looks like it's been changed to a rabbit for this. Toto is Dorothy's pet."

Alice threw down her script and struck a typically dramatic pose. "How can I be a pet? You're my manservant—you be the dog!"

"It is how it is, stupid rabbit!" Gilbert shot back. "At least you don't have to be a…" He muttered the last words, "…a big cat."

"It's no good arguing, Alice," Oz said, smiling. "Just go along with it, 'kay?"

Alice flopped back on the couch in a huff. "I better get all the meat I can eat after this…" She picked up the script and stared at it. Then her gaze cut to Oz. "Are you really okay with playing a girl? They'll probably wanna stick you in a dress."

Oz's eyes widened. "What?"

Alice smirked. "Yeah. You're Dorothy. See?" She pointed to the list of the cast on the front of her packet.

"Huh. I don't have that page. And my lines just say 'D.' before them." A muscle under his eye twitched. "A dress? But that won't work—no matter how you look at it, I'm a boy."

"No need to worry, Oz-kun," Break said around a lollipop. "It's gonna be blue and white overalls."

Oz visibly relaxed. "Oh good."

"Not that you wouldn't have looked good in a dress," Gilbert mumbled.

"Should you really be saying such things, Raven-kun?"

Gilbert immediately blushed bright red and pretended to be thoroughly engrossed in his reading. His brow furrowed. He blinked. "This is a musical, too?"

"Do you want to back out, Gil~bert?"

Gilbert looked to his left in shock. Where had Sharon come from? She smiled that eerie smile of hers, leaning closer.

"It's all right. You can tell me~."

He shook his head. "N-no, it's fine, it's fine."

"Great!" She held her script aloft triumphantly. "I'm the Good Witch. I'll get to wear a fluffy pink gown and be surrounded by pretty bubbles and everything."

"The young lady's in girl-mode again," Break half-sang. "Hmm…Seems I've got a solo here…"

"Can I sing with you, Break?" Emily chattered.

Break reached over and patted the doll's head. "May~be, maybe. But it would be a duet, then."

"We've all got solos, it looks like," Gilbert deadpanned. He wasn't so sure about this singing in public thing.

Oz grinned. "I'm excited, this'll be fun."

Alice poked his shoulder. "Are you sure?"

He nodded emphatically. "Sure! Why not?"

"Hello everyone! Sorry I'm late."

Gilbert's head jerked up at the sound of the familiar, melodic voice. "Vincent? Are…you in this play, too?"

"I am. Though," his expression darkened, "it seems I've been cast as the villain. I wonder whatever for?"

"Who knows?" Break gave him a look. Drain rat.

"Yes," Vincent smiled, but it didn't reach his mismatched eyes, "who knows."

"So," Oz broke in, pointing to each person as he listed them, "we have me as Dorothy, Alice is Toto, Gil is the Cowardly Lion, Vincent is the Wicked Witch, Miss Sharon is the Good Witch." He paused. "Who are you, Break?"

"Me? Why, the Tin Man."

"And you, Mister Liam?"

Liam pushed up his glasses. "Apparently, the Wizard's gatekeeper."

Break chuckled. "That fits you, you're so serious."

Liam rolled his eyes. "Why they didn't put you in Munchkin Town, Break, I'll never know. Probably because you'd ruin the Lollipop Guild."

Break paused, in the middle of unwrapping yet another candy. "Hm?"

"Anyway," Oz continued. "Who's left?"

"You uncle said he's going to be a male-version Auntie Em," Gilbert informed him. "But he said that to me before I knew what the hell was going on. He's busy now, so he'll show up for practice later, I guess."

"That just leaves the Wizard." Oz tapped his cheek with his forefinger. "Wonder who…?"

"That would be me."

The redheaded Duke Barma came into the room and closed the door behind him with a quiet click.

"Oh?" Break raised his eyebrows. "And why would you agree to something like this…?"

He smirked. "Information, of course. I've been promised quite a lot of new knowledge by our…proprietor."

"What about the Scarecrow?" Alice wondered aloud.

"Scarecrow?" Oz leaned over and looked at Alice's script. "It just says 'J'…"

"I think I'm meant to play that one."

A moment later, a bright light flashed, momentarily blinding all those gathered. Blinking and rubbing their eyes, everyone looked around, then their eyes fixed on the newest addition to the cast, standing next to Oz.

The young blond boy gaped. "Jack? How?"

He smiled softly. "I haven't the faintest idea. Things sure have gotten interesting, haven't they? Everyone." He picked up the stray script from the coffee table and thumbed through it. He looked up, sweeping his gaze over the dazed faces of the others. He smiled again. "Well, shall we get on with this read-through?"

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