Just a little one, see what you think. More, maybe? hugs nat xx
"Jack?"
A look passed between the two friends that spoke volumes. Daniel had been terrified, Jack knew that much. His face spoke all the words needed. Dark circles under his eyes, eyelids flagging not long after the most relieved look Jack had ever seen anyone give him. It had been laced with something between joy, hope and ebbing terror. In those eyes Jack could see the receding pain that Daniel had felt full force, fear of the unknown, emptiness growing at the realisation that his make shift family may not make it back. A soul so practiced at retreating back into the inner workings of this complicated man; slowly and in a calculated manner shutting himself off from the world. It terrified Jack how easily Daniel could so completely close everyone out, a defence mechanism learnt at a scarily early age by his friend. There was something sinister in this basic action of Daniel's that frightened Jack, the worry that he may not one day be able to reach his friend in the dark places he sometimes frequented in his own mind. Jack had stuck a toe in those dark waters, got small glimpses. He'd even been there himself, but he was an adult. The pain that Daniel had experienced as a child had marked his life forever, as did Jack's, but it was a pain no child should ever have to experience, but Daniel had; an indelible mark forged by being an orphan, as if that wasn't enough, but to never be adopted and loved and cared for by another family? Daniel's dark place was definitely deeper than most.
Big and lonely, the pit of despair was something that no man should be allowed to even teeter over the edge of, let alone fall into. Jack had fallen, Daniel had pulled him back. Jack often wondered if Daniel had ever truly been pulled back or whether he still teetered, secured in a harness of friends who where as close as any family he'd known since he was eight. But he'd nearly lost them…
"Daniel?"
Jack reached out, placing a warm reassuring hand on his friend's neck and squeezed enough to make the look being cast at him retreat slowly to the floor.
Daniel didn't move, not an inch. His shoulders relaxed very slowly, millimetre by millimetre, but that was it.
Jack felt the slight change in posture and let his hand work its way slowly down the younger mans back, his hand moving in a minute, nearly unnoticeable circular motion.
His name being spoken calmed him; uttered by his friend and confidant. Jack knew that. The only other person that he'd had that effect on had been his own son.
When Charlie had nightmares, or was hurt or upset, his name and a touch from Jack had been like an injection of Novocain taking all the pain away. Jack recalled times when he was home, Sara calling him when Charlie was ill, 'Daddy's magic touch was needed,' she used to smile. Even when Charlie had been delirious and unaware of his father's presence, a touch and his name murmured calmed him; rough hands being drawn through thick sandy hair, drawing the damp bangs from a sweaty forehead. Yes, thought Jack, it worked for his dearest friend too. A touch, an uttered name, like a drug stronger than anything Janet could ever inject.
Seconds passed and Jack looked at his friend again, deciding a hug was in order. The linguist didn't pull away, but he didn't embrace the hug for a start either.
For a split second Jack thought of that dark, cold, unfeeling place. Unreachable to so many, but then arms crept slowly up his back, feeling the course material and the warm body beneath. Searching, affirming the presence of the person he desired to be here. It was slow, but Jack knew how he worked, just seeing wasn't always enough. Not many people knew that about Daniel, well they did, they all knew he couldn't not touch, but that was things, not people. Daniel craved physical affection, reassurance and touching the people close to him set that still orphaned kid within him at ease. He was still there, Jack didn't doubt it, that kid would always be there, that was what made Daniel, Daniel. It pained Jack to know that without the tragedies that had befallen his young friend they would have never have known him. How crazy was that! The most emotionally debilitating events that any human being could experience had shaped this person into one of the most conscientious, brave, giving, humane and complicated people Jack had ever had the pleasure of knowing. Fate had a lot to answer for.
Jack carefully pulled his friend a little closer; he was aware he was in pain already and didn't want to make that any worse. Daniel's body gave a little more and relaxed into the embrace, his arms more firmly holding the older man now.
"Jack?"
The word was breathed, barely audible into Jack's shoulder. In response Jack placed a hand in his friend's hair gently encouraging a warm cheek to meet his shoulder. Daniel gave in.
The body in Jack's arms now started to feel heavy and pliable. Jack didn't doubt his hyperactive friend would have been on the go since Sam and Teal'c had left. Janet would have had no chance. Jack would be surprised if Daniel had slept in the past nine days, let alone eaten a descent meal without Janet threatening him.
'Hmmm,' thought Jack, they may have to have words about that, when they'd all slept.
As Jack breathed in the scent of his friend and almost held him up, he wondered how long he'd stood and stared out at where the Stargate had been and then where the Beta Gate had been placed and oh, so slowly put back into service. Jack doubted wild horses would have dragged him from that window and then waiting for them to maybe dial home, or maybe not…
"I'm here, kiddo," Jack muttered into his friend's mused hair.
If he wasn't mistaken, he felt cheeks become firmer against his shoulder at what must be a smile. He hadn't lost him, not this time. Jack had to keep his friend from that dark place; it would never happen while Jack drew breath, he would never lose Daniel…