It was like a moon that had fallen on it's back, incandescent and bright.

It was a smile that lightened up the room when it was there and warmed your heart, and it was directed at Edward who didn't quite agree to having his heart warmed. it bothered him even more that said smile was way too close for comfort.

"Back off!" he growled backing away himself. Lazlo, proprietor of said smile had been following him ALL DAY LONG! Currently, Lazlo was standing in line behind him for lunch in the mess hall staring at him and smiling that smile. It was infuriating! what made it worse was the fact that it was all his own fault.

That kiss…

It was punishment for letting himself go. Penance for enjoying himself. Yea he'd kissed Lazlo, and now he had to face the fact that things like this don't just go away…

Their shoulders we're touching.

He jumped back grabbing his tray and putting it between him and the monkey like a shield "I said back off!"

"Edward?..." Lazlo started.

"No. Just stay away from me! Me and you have nothing to say to each other, capish?"

"But" Lazlo protested.

"Sit!" the platypus demanded, and so, Lazlo went and sat because Edward had told him to. He decided not to point out that he didn't get to get any food. Edward had told him to sit and so he sat. He sat across from Clam and next to Raj, cupped his chin in his hands and stared at nothing after awhile he sighed.

Now Lazlo was in love and you might be surprised to know, since Lazlo practically oozed love, that it was a feeling that was new to him. he sighed again and watched as the object of his affections made his way across the mess hall glaring at everybody in his path, unlike Lazlo, Edward had a lot of hate to give. And made sure to dole out a good serving to everyone, especially Lazlo. Most of all Lazlo, because.. Well because! And that was all there is to it.

Suddenly Lazlo was standing in front of him twiddling the hem of his shirt and unknowingly invading his personal space. "Hey Edward"

Edward blushed, and that was all there was to it.

"Me, Raj and Clam were going to go play 'sea monster' in the lake" Lazlo was saying. "wanna come?"

Edward raised an eyebrow. Spend all day with his head underwater making growling noises? Oh ho ho that sounded fun. "no thanks" Edward said in a way that suggested that he wasn't thankful at all.

"It'll be fun!" Lazlo insisted a smile spread on his lips and turned into a mischievous grin. "you'll like it."

"I'll bet" Edward growled trying to flash every go away signal short of beating Lazlo senseless.

But Lazlo was never one to give up. "Just like you liked it when we played "d-" he didn't get finish. Someone's foot in your stomach tends to impede verbal communication, that someone was Edward, whose leg came up saw fast no-one saw it move. Lazlo made a squeaking noise

"Listen Laz" Edward growled softly into his ear "don't you dare even mention what happe-" he stopped feeling everyone's stares on his back. He looked around slowly. All the beans avoided his gaze while trying to look at him at the same time, a very hard thing to do. Ping-pong and Dave were looking at him from the corners of their eyes trying to listen intently. if they had ears they would have grown to the size of saucers with the effort of trying to hear what Edward was going to say.

"Hmmph! Come on Lazlo!" he grabbed Lazlo by the ear and dragged him out of the mess hall. "I gots to have a word with you.."

Behind the mess hall he pulled Lazlo in front of him and let go of his ear and gave him a withering glare. "Lazlo…" when Edward said Lazlo's name he always started with a sneer and ended it with a growl so it came out 'leeaaazlooooo33o…' the word was drawn out and coated with malice and barely restrained anger. It was amazing, in fact, what Edward could put into the word.

"I like the way you say my name!" said Lazlo trying his hand at some impromptu flirting.

Edward bit his lip and gave Lazlo a look like somebody on a strict diet being faced with a slice of cake.

He growled, "look..L- you!" he said avoiding saying Lazlo's name so he won't enjoy it. "That date never happened, ok? You won't mention it. you won't even think about it!"

"But Edward it did happen!"

"What did I just say?"

"You even kissed me"

"Lazlo!"

"Murp!" the sound was made by neither of them.

Both heads turned towards the intruder he must have been there the whole time and they didn't notice him. nobody ever noticed Sampson.

Sampson stared. A duck quacked in the distance.

Edward pointed at him and screamed.

Before Sampson could even think of running Edward had, in a panic, pushed him upside-down into a nearby trashcan.

"That wasn't very nice, Edward." said Lazlo.

"Whatever." mumbled Edward walking away "just remember what I told you"

And thus with all witnesses silenced and Lazlo nullified Edward retreated back to his cabin.

It wasn't right, thought Lazlo; you couldn't just ignore something that happened like that.

Why…?

Lazlo thought hard and then a solution came to him "yucca!" he exclaimed.

Obviously it all had to do with love. The way Edward was acting was probably normal and he just doesn't know enough about love to understand it. Now Lazlo didn't know anything about love, but he figured that at least one of the many wise, and pleasant, people who inhabited the mountain speckled region around Leaky Lake had to know enough about love to tell him how to deal with such a situation.

It was calculated that the average prickly pines resident has an IQ only barely higher than that of a sea urchin. The bean scouts of camp kidney were even less gifted in the brains department, even the sea urchin had one over on them, and therefore via some twisted logic it was generally assumed that any prickly pines resident who had anything to do with bean scouts was dumber than dirt.

Scoutmaster Lumpus was that resident. Currently he was sitting on his Comfy Boy ™ watching TV while nursing a cup of hot coca that he had pestered Slink man for all afternoon.

Scoutmaster Lumpus did not get where he was today by being smart. No, he got there by being stupid and in some cases quite unfortunate. He glowered at the TV screen and he glowered even more when Lazlo stepped in front of it. Lazlo had his hands clasped in front of him. He gave Lumpus a woeful pleading look "oh scoutmaster Lumpus…"

"Move it will ya! your getting in the way of my soap!" the scoutmaster grabbed the little monkey by the neckerchief and tossed him backwards with a flick of his wrist.

There was a crash off-screen.

Lazlo magically appeared from under the couch cushion much to Lumpus' dismay "but scoutmaster Lumpus this is really important!"

Lumpus narrowed his eyes "ooh?"

"I NEED to know about love"

" Your in love are you?" asked Lumpus looking disgusted.

Lazlo hung his head "'esh" he mumbled feeling embarrassed for some reason.

Seeing the look of dejected innocence on the poor boy's face scoutmaster Lumpus's cold hard heart softened up a bit. He sighed.

"Lazlo, do you know why I'm here?"

Lazlo thought hard. "god?"

"NO! I mean here! Sitting in front of the TV drowning my sorrows in …coca"

"ummm..?"

Lumpus's eyes misted over "Jane Doe.." he said in hoarse whisper as if envisioning a goddess.

"Oh." Lazlo has heard the scoutmaster rattle about Jane Doe enough times to know when to tune him out.

"I saw her just this morning, Lazlo." continued the scoutmaster "she was as beautiful as ever…"

The screen rippled and a flashback started.

Scout mistress Jane Doe was watering her plants, joyfully humming to herself, when scoutmaster Lumpus crab-walked toward her holding a wilting posy in his shaking fist.

"Halloo, Miss Doe"

She turned with a start "oohoohoo! Scoutmaster LUMPus! I didn't see yoo there!"

Considering that Jane Doe went through the world just a little bit cross-eyed it was surprising that she saw him at all.

"Well Miss Doe" he preened "I was walking by and I saw this flower…"

"What a pretty flower, Algonquin! Do you collect?" she interrupted seemingly ignoring him.

Not easily sidetracked from his mission of love scoutmaster Lumpus attempted to piece together his pick up line "I saw this flower and thought of…"

"I used to collect flowers!"

"And thought of you."

It must have occurred to Jane that one of them wasn't quite holding up his end of the conversation so she started to speak louder "I HAVEN'T COLLECTED FLOWERS IN AGES!"

"…I love you"

"WHAT'S WAS THAT? I SHOULD START COLLECTING AGAIN?"

"Sob"

"THAT IS A GREAT IDEA!! I'D BETTER START"

She snatched a clump of flowers then ran of. Scoutmaster Lumpus broke down crying.

The scene faded back to Lumpus's living room where the scoutmaster was curled up crying into his coca cup. Lazlo patted his back in an attempt to comfort him.

"Women are cruel, cruel, creatures, Lazlo." Lumpus informed Lazlo "they'll rip out your heart as soon as look at you!"

Women? Thought Lazlo. Who said anything about women?

"Now leave me alone!" continued Lumpus tiring of Lazlo's presence now that story time is over.

"But I still don't know what to do, sir" protested Lazlo.

It occurred to Lumpus that Lazlo wasn't going to leave without an answer.

Lumpus sighed and thought "try cologne a woman can't resist cologne!"

Lazlo grinned "okay sir!" and ran of like a happy little monkey.

Lumpus eased himself back into his couch. Now Lazlo can go bother whoever he had a crush on. The scoutmaster barely suppressed a chuckle. The poor girl must be devastated.

TBC…