Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, am simply borrowing them for the purposes of this story.
AN: Jane and Lisbon go out for dinner and a bit of dance. Made up scenario where Jane says romantic words, so its wish fulfilment fluff. Again.
Home
He is starting to wish he had decided to let Lisbon drive tonight, or better yet he wished they had gotten a cab. But persuading Lisbon to come eat with him this evening was difficult enough, so hustling her into her vehicle and getting her here as quickly as possible was his only focus earlier.
He wishes he hadn't drove because he wants a drink, and Jane can't recall the last time he felt he needed a drink to get him through what he has to do. He smiles at Lisbon as she sits down in the booth they have been directed too.
He can see how exhausted she is in the way she leans against the high back of the seat; clearly worn out by the last several weeks spent relentlessly pursuing a murderer across different locations. Today was a good day; today they came back to home base knowing they had done exactly as they had been required. They had caught a predator and removed him from society.
This one.
He knows only too well that tomorrow may make similar demands of them, but tonight he wants to forget about that part of their reality for a little while.
Tonight he wants to focus all of his considerable attention on Lisbon; if she will grant him that privilege. They have been hovering around the edge of their feelings for each other ever since he returned to the USA, and he knows that the unbearable scenario of losing her is possible if he doesn't at least give Lisbon some sort of sign that she owns him. He is all too aware of the interested glances colleagues throw her way, and he is similarly aware that Lisbon is trying so very hard to not allow herself to be defined by her palpable connection with him.
He wants, needs actually, for tonight to establish that those colleagues with any interest in Lisbon are wasting their time. And he needs for her to understand that this connection between them that they have both ignored and nurtured for so very long is the reason for his existence.
So to achieve all of this Jane has brought her to a place he thinks she will enjoy, where they sell good burgers or so he has been lead to believe by Agent Sharma. He would, if he were being completely honest, prefer to eat in a place where the menu options extended beyond cheese, double cheese or cheesesteak… But Lisbon has already betrayed her delight at her dinner options when she smiled her beautiful full smile and gifted him with a glimpse of her dimple.
For that he is certainly more than willing to endure double cheese and an absence of tea.
"You're staring at me Jane."
He surfaces from his quiet reverie to the image of an exhausted and slightly annoyed Teresa Lisbon. It bothers him only slightly that he enjoys this look on her as much as any other. She is delightfully appealing in her rumpled work clothes, her hair pulled back in a ponytail and her luminescent eyes shining despite the commonplace surroundings.
"I apologise Lisbon, I think exhaustion might have gotten the better of me."
Lisbon stares back into his eyes for a beat too long, but allows the line he offers her as she smiles slightly and reaches for her beer.
"It will be so good to sleep in my own bed tonight; actually it will be so good to sleep for more than 4 hours at a time. I plan on turning off my phone and sleeping all day tomorrow too."
"We both know that's a lie my dear, you will spend your few days of rest time cleaning, exercising and filled with purpose."
She looks at him again, wondering what he could be saying without words this time. She is exhausted with all they say to each other without words and wonders when they will find their way to uncomfortable truths, or if they ever will.
She sighs softly, straightens her spine and resolves to enjoy this gift of time with Jane. She will eat a good meal, enjoy his company, enjoy sharing time with him and him alone and she will go home and sleep.
That is all. She will do all of that and then go home and sleep with no regrets.
Mostly.
He manages to keep the conversation going for the duration of their meal without showing his hand. He enjoys so very much that he is able to spend all this time with the glorious focus of all her attention being levelled at him. So he teases her, and much to his delight she teases right back.
He loves being with her like this, loves that she is trying so hard to hide her own enjoyment of this time they are sharing. Which is ridiculous, he knows Lisbon should never have to hide anything from him and it pains him to know that this is the role he has forced her into. He wants to never cause her pain again, and somehow tonight he is going to tell her this.
"You're staring at me again, Jane. You're tired, we should get going and get some rest."
He focuses on Lisbon's concerned attention and decides that he needs to see her smile again before he lets her fall free of his grasp tonight.
"I was simply enjoying how the light in here highlights the colour of your eyes. This place sells peerless burgers and the ambiance emphasises how very beautiful your eyes are my dear, I think we should make this our regular stop off point for closed case burgers."
She smiles slightly in response to his words, not quite believing the truth of them. She grabs for her purse and tries so very hard not to fixate on his use of we and us.
She laments that she has had three beers tonight, this sentimentality about what might be is always that little bit worse when she has the sweet buzz of alcohol running through her veins. Also on nights like this she allows herself to consider Jane, really consider him, so she has her own strong opinions on how the lighting in here highlights his eyes, and smile, and curls, and hands, and shoulders…
She breathes deeply twice and grabs enough money from her purse to pay their tab and probably tip a little too much and moves away from the booth and all these dangerous thoughts.
"Hey, wait up Lisbon; I was supposed to be buying you dinner. What's the hurry, I'm not so tired that I can't find the way to my wallet."
He catches up with her and places his hand on the small of her back as they negotiate their way out of the restaurant. He absently strokes her spine with his thumb before he can think to consciously stop the movement of his fingers. He feels her relax into his touch, so he moves slightly closer to her and allows himself to take pleasure that the beat of his heart quickens at this nearness to her.
"Can I buy you a drink Lisbon?"
She stops abruptly and looks at him with what appears to be disbelief in her expression.
"Are you trying to get me drunk Jane?"
He holds her gaze and smiles as her pupils dilate in reaction to their proximity and, he hopes, the warmth of his hand on her arm.
"I simply want to enjoy your company for a little while longer."
"You've had my company on the road for the last few weeks; don't you just want to go home?"
He smiles sadly at her and tries to regulate his breathing, counting the freckles scattered across her cheeks to centre himself.
"I do want to go home Lisbon, but first I want to buy you a drink."
Lisbon considers his words, can see only truth and a little uncharacteristic nervousness in his stance so she gives in to what she really wants anyway and lets Jane lead her into a nearby bar.
Jane walks to the back of the small jazz club he has brought Lisbon to. There is a performance from a local saxophonist later, and he thinks Lisbon would enjoy it but he doesn't intend for them to be here long enough to enjoy the live music. Right now the bar is crowded with large groups of people drinking and talking; couples moving together on the small dance floor, and Lisbon seems to visibly relax the further she moves inside the club.
"How do you know about this place Jane?"
"I know things Lisbon, you know that."
Lisbon allows herself a small smile as he pulls out her chair, then fusses until she is seated comfortably at the table. She tries not to enjoy this too much as Jane heads to the bar to get their drinks.
She calms her breathing and stifles her hopes by thinking of the long, long days of his absence. She thinks of nights spent worrying about him, of trying desperately to remember the scent of him, the shape of his hands and the feel of his warm fingers against the base of her spine. She thinks of those long nights that bled into weeks and months and years, and she centres herself with the knowledge that her time with Jane is always going to be transient. She looks across the club at people enjoying themselves and then watches as Jane makes his way back to their table. He remains the most of everything of any man she has ever known, but she knows that her appreciation of him should stay at a distance. She knows this, and yet can't stop her answering smile when he looks at her the way he is right now.
"I bought American beer for you Lisbon, and I tried to get them to make me tea but I couldn't persuade them of my medical dependence on it – so its water for me. And I can't make a toast with water, so that's disappointing."
"What do you want to be toasting Jane?"
"You of course my dear; your success on this case was another sign that you will very soon flourish with the FBI and will be my boss again, or at someone's boss again very soon."
She takes a long swig of beer and tries not to react to his words. She wants to yell that she doesn't want to be anyone's boss anytime soon, least of all his. But she doesn't react, she allows herself to enjoy the warmth of his words and his pride in her. She drinks more beer and suddenly wishes she was home and sitting on her couch, at least there she can dissect her affection for him away from his scrutiny.
"You are so very, very good at your job Lisbon."
She doesn't know how to respond to this; instead she nods and then turns her attention to the couples moving together on the dance floor. She loses herself in the music and the spectacle of people simply being happy together and doesn't notice Jane has moved until he is standing right in her field of vision.
"Dance with me Lisbon."
She blinks to try and wake herself from her beer haze, because she could almost swear that Jane just asked her to dance.
"Lisbon, come one – come dance with me."
He takes her hand, and keeps it in his own as he leads her to the small dance floor. He tucks them into the back corner of the dance floor and he wraps his one arm completely around Lisbon's small frame as he curls the other hand with hers and rests it high on his chest. He has imagined being with her like this a thousand times and more during his long absence from her life.
She is rigid in his arms as he moves them slowly to the music. He can feel her heart beating rapidly against his chest, and he wants to ask the room for silence so he might properly focus on it.
He does not; instead he rests his lips against the top of her head and smiles as he feels her shiver at this intimate gesture.
The sway together for long moments, he is counting her heartbeats and smelling her hair and wondering if life could ever get any better than this when abruptly Lisbon pulls herself free of his arms.
She looks at him for as long moment, a little in awe at how long and feminine his eye lashes are and how the lines round his eyes make him more not less attractive. She feels his hand, warm and possessive against her hip and she gathers herself to give him her best game face.
"I think I've had a little too much beer tonight Jane, I need to go home."
Jane moves closer to her and rests his free hand on her other hip, and stares helplessly into her strikingly beautiful eyes.
"I think you should come home with me, Lisbon."
She can't seem to look away from his penetrating stare, she recognises this look of determination and focus he has now. She shivers vulnerably and wishes all over again that he wouldn't tease her like this.
"Jane you don't have a home, what are you saying? Have you been sneaking drinks tonight, because I thought you were my designated driver? Stop this; we should get out of here."
He shakes his head when she tries to move from his embrace, smiling affectionately at her as he moves one hand to curl round her waist.
"Take me home with you then, Lisbon. Take me home with you."
They stare at each other for long moments, neither quite prepared to break the silence. Jane stares at her eyes, then catalogues all of her cherished features and then focuses his attention on her lips. This is enough to break through Lisbon's inertia and she removes herself from his embrace again.
"What are you doing? Why are you saying this? There are people here…"
"And I assure you they don't care about anything we are doing my dear, everyone is too involved in their own lives. So I am asking you again to take me home with you…"
This causes Lisbon to blink back tears, her eyes suddenly large and afraid and he wants to hug her but he knows if he were to touch her now she would run.
"Please don't cry Lisbon, you'll make me cry and after the tea incident earlier I'll never be able to bring you back to this place for fear of public mockery."
"Don't make fun of me."
He wipes a trail of tears from her cheek with his thumb and smiles at her, wishing that she would allow him to kiss the tears from her cheek.
"I'm not making fun of you Lisbon; it was a genuine and honest request. I want to go home with you."
"Stop saying that."
"I'm going to keep saying it until you listen to me, until you hear the truth of my words."
"I think if you want to go home with someone like that it would be better if you drop me off and then head to a bar to find what you're looking for."
As soon as the words have left her mouth he is compelled to touch her again. He holds her face between his hands and refuses to let her move away from him.
"Lisbon, I don't know what you think I'm asking but I'm not looking for just someone. It's you my darling, of course it's you. I want to go home with you."
"Stop saying that."
He is running the pad of his thumb along her cheekbone, breathing easier as he feels Lisbon relax into his touch so very slowly.
He leans close to her rests his head against her hair so he can whisper in her ear, offering precious words only for her.
"Be my home, Lisbon."
He kisses the shell of her ear and feels her tremble again so he wraps her completely in his arms and he moves them slightly to the beat of the music.
"Stop talking like his Jane, I mean it. This isn't how normal people behave."
He loosens his hold slightly so he can look into her eyes when he tries to convince her of his sincerity and absolute adoration.
"So you want me to be normal, because I can do that. I can stand with you now and tell you like a normal man would how very beautiful you are. That looking at your face is my favourite part of any day, that the slope of your nose makes me lose my focus sometimes. That your freckles are like lovely stars scattered across your skin, that your hips are as feminine and gorgeous as any woman's alive. That your hair distracts me from life, and if you ever cut it I will be heartbroken and bereft. And as for your heart, and your goodness – my darling, you're wonderful enough to care about me despite all of the times I have hurt you in the past."
He leans forward and kisses her softly, feeling her intake of breath and soft sighs as he makes contact with her skin.
"I don't know what you want Jane, and I don't know what you want me to say."
He wraps his arms around her waist, leaning his body firmly against hers as he moves them further to the back corner of the dance floor for these last precious words he has to offer her.
"I'm not trying to trick you Lisbon, or tease. It hurts me more than I can say that I have abused your trust so much over the years that you would doubt me now. But you must know how I feel about you; you must have felt the truth of my words just now. I am selfishly asking you to save me one last time, Lisbon. I don't want to be apart from you for periods longer than the length of a breath. I know that would drive you crazy so I will try my very best not to be too insufferable in my open adoration of you. So one last time my dear Teresa; I am asking you to be my home."
She is breathless and bemused and broken but what he is telling her. These are words she has longed for for so many years but already she is looking for the catch, and not focusing on his lips against her forehead. Except, except his lips against her forehead are making her lose her breath and wish that she lived in a world where his lips could permanently attached to her skin.
"Don't think about what you should do Lisbon; just tell me what you want. Because you have to know that from now, for the rest of my life, whatever you want, whatever you say will be my focus. I want you to be happy, and I want to be that happiness for you if you will let me. And I know this is a lot to take in and I know this is the last thing you were expecting tonight, but I'm tired of waiting for you when you are so beautiful and vital and right beside me every day. I want to be right beside you every day and every night. So I'm going to ask you again – and I must admit this is coming dangerously close to begging – be my home Lisbon."
She rises on her toes to kiss his chin and rest her cheek against his. She relishes the sensation of being wrapped in his arms and she tries to find words to match the ones he has confessed to her. She knows she will never be as eloquent as Jane but she feels she needs to gift him with truths of her own.
She leans one hand on his chest and sighs against his shirt.
"I love you Jane."
He hugs her tightly and stifles the urge to lift her in the air and shout his joy to the crowded room.
"Well you'd better my dear, if I'm going to be living with you."
She nips his side and laughs as this only makes him squeeze her closer to him as he rests his lips against her ear again.
"I love you Teresa, now put me out of my misery. Tell me what you want."
Lisbon disentangles herself from their embrace and puts her hands on her hips as she attempts to find her voice. She pivots forward and rests her head against his chest for a few seconds.
"You don't want to be apart from me for periods longer than the length of a breath?"
He lifts a hand to rest on the back of her neck to hold her against him for as long as she is willing to rest against him.
"I mean it my dear, I honestly do."
She kisses his chest through the material of his shirt and moves to stand a few paces away from him. "I'm going home now Jane."
Lisbon reaches across to take his hand in her own and Jane curls his fingers tightly around hers in return.
He follows her out of the club, and they go home.