My first Hunger Games story.

*Slightly edited.

Enjoy!

I sat on my bed, thinking about death. Over the years I had become so familiar with it. Twenty-three children died, many of them by my hand. I was a killer; blood stained my hands, forming a curse that could never go away.

I was treated like a hero. I became a celebrity in the capitol, because I killed innocent people. It disgusted me.

I rolled over on my bed so my legs dangled off the side. Moping wasn't going to get me anywhere at the moment.

I was about to go back into the arena after 10 years…but this time instead of facing other scared children I would be facing practiced killers. Other Hunger Game victors. I stood up, punched the wall, and cursed the capitol.

I didn't bother looking around or even feeling nervous about the comment. I was beyond caring what the capitol thought or what they did to me.

I had gone through hell for their entertainment, and I was about to do it over again.

Sighing, I worked my way to the roof of the tribute building. Waving to Mags on my way, she slowly waved back and gave me a sad little smile. She was so brave volunteering like that, she must know she probably won't get out of this alive.

The roof was one place where I could actually think, and it wasn't very often occupied with other people, so it surprised me to see Peeta sitting on a bench staring out into the sunset. "Peeta?"

Peeta turned around, looking as surprised as I felt. "Finnick?"

I don't know when it started, but slowly had Peeta started to grow on me, and I couldn't shake away the feeling I got when he was around. Even when he wasn't trying his voice had power, and it made me shiver whenever he said my name. He was like an addiction, it wasn't smart to be attached to him but I couldn't keep away either.

I guess at some point I dully realized that I was attracted to Peeta, but there was no way I could ever act on those feelings. It wouldn't go over to well, with Katniss, with Panem or even with Peeta himself.

Oh, I could see it now. Finnick, the guy all the Capitol girls craved, annoucing his love for Peeta, victor and star-crossed lover of District 12. Yeah…that would go over great with the Capitol.

I slid onto the bench next to him. "Admiring the sunset are we?"

Peeta nodded, the fading sunlight looked amazing across his features. "I don't have that many left, and I want to make the sunsets I have left last as long as they possibly can."

I nodded back, I wanted to talk to Peeta about the plot in the arena, but then I remembered he had no knowledge of it as of yet. So instead I asked, "Where's Katniss?"

Peeta shrugged. "Probably in her room, I left after dinner, wanted to be alone for a while."

He looked at me and smiled weakly. "I won't get very many chances to be completely alone after tomorrow."

I blinked, "Oh….I can leave if you wan-?"

Peeta shook his head, "No…it's okay Finnick….I don't mind."

We sat in silence for a while before Peeta hesitantly asked, "Um…Finnick?"

Without looking away from the sunset I answered, "Hmm?"

"I-I…I'm really sorry we have to be enemies in the arena."

I slowly looked at him; his cheeks were a nice rosy red.

"….I am sorry too…I think under a different situation…we could have been good friends."

He nodded and opened his mouth as if to talk again but I continued before he did, "But even so…I don't think it means we have to be enemies in the arena."

He nodded again, his next words were barely a whisper, "I just want it all to end."

"Doesn't everyone?"

He tilted his head and looked at me, "…Finnick…."

Before I could answer Peeta wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me into a tight hug. Though no tears were obvious his voice was filled with sadness as he spoke. "I just can't stand all the death and depression the games bring..."

I mindlessly started to rub his back, at first Peeta stiffened at the motion, but then soon relaxed.

"Come on Peeta…"

Don't you dare tell him everything will be all right. He's not that stupid.

He looked up and much to my embarrassment, as I looked down at him our noses touched and our lips just centimeters apart.

We paused for a moment, just staying that postion before I quickly pulled away. "I should be getting back, uh, don't want to leave Mags for too long."

Peeta nodded, "Right."

I got up to leave, I was nearly to the door when Peeta said, "If...if it were a better situation..."

I turned at the doorway and finished his sentence for him. "If this were a better situation I would be happy to be your friend Peeta..."

"Maybe more?"

I turned around to face the door again not wanting to look him in the eye. "Maybe if we can manage to make everything right. Maybe if we were accepted. Maybe if this whole Hunger Games shit would just disappear and be done with. Maybe if my heart wouldn't be shattered because of the Capitol."

"Those are some risky maybe's"

"True." I turned to look at Peeta. "But it's something that would be worth the risk."