So this story won't be very long, maybe 4 or 5 chapters, cause I never finish long stories anyway. This is before the angel nonsense started, but right after Dean came back from hell. I loved the way Supernatural was going during the first few seasons, I still love the show, but I wish it would've went differently, that's why I decided to write this. In this story Ruby isn't evil and she's in the same body she was at first, also in here Sam doesn't drink Demon blood, all he needs to do to unlock his powers is practice. I wrote the poem myself for this story and this is only the first part of it, the next chapter will have another part of the poem and it will go on like that, but all of the parts will be from the same poem.

Don't take another look at me,

Cause you won't like what you will see,

I'm not the person you once knew,

There's just the beast I've turned into.

Chapter 1

Dean's POV:

"Where's Sam?" The question slips out almost casually, but then the concern for my little brother finds its way into my voice.

"I've been calling, but he's not answering his phone. He's not…" I trail off suddenly even more concerned. The last time I saw Sam he was taking on Lilith. Alone. While I died.

"No, he's alive." Bobby says, but by the tone of his voice I can tell that there's a 'but' coming. I focus all of my attention on Bobby, but I still can't help but nervously dart my eyes around the room and flinch at ever sound I hear, hell will do that to you, I guess. I still can't believe I'm back, I was gone – dead, for so, so many years and then suddenly I was back. I'm not sure if I'd be able to pull it together if I wasn't so worried about Sam.

"So where is he then?" I ask. Bobby looks at anything but me, which is something I've never seen him do before, for as long as I've known him he always seemed to know just what to say.

"Bobby?" I ask almost in a whisper. What could it be? What could be so bad that he would be having such difficulty telling me it?

"I have no idea where he is. He's… Dean, he's gone." He says. What is that supposed to mean?

"You said he wasn't dead." I say now completely freaking out.

"He's not dead. But he's gone Dean." Bobby says.

"You're not making any sense." I say raising my voice, because there's only so much I can take in one day and coming back from hell was already way too much for me to take in.

"Damn it, you're not listening Dean. He's gone!" He yells, but then his eyes soften. A thought crosses my mind. A bad one.

"You… you don't mean his powers, do you?" I ask horrified by the very idea.

"I couldn't save him, I don't think he even wanted to be saved." He says with sorrow in his voice. No, no, no. My brother is not evil, he would never give in to those powers.

"Tell me everything that happened." I say in a voice that even I don't recognize. He hesitates, but starts talking anyway.

"…After you died, he tried to bring you back, but no crossroads demon would make a deal with him and nothing worked, so after a few weeks he realized there was nothing he could do to save you and he… he got just so angry." Bobby says shaking his head sadly.

"What happened then?" I encourage after a moment of silence. I cling to his every word, praying to a God I don't believe in that this isn't as bad as Bobby's making it out to be.

"At first he focused on killing Lilith, he became obsessed with it. Then Ruby showed up." He says.

"Ruby. I knew she couldn't be trusted." I say angrily cutting Bobby off. I should've known Ruby was only trying to lure Sam to the dark side.

"Actually Ruby didn't do anything wrong. I didn't like the idea of her helping Sam unlock his powers, but I saw them practice, he was broken kept pushing me away, but Ruby convinced him to go back to my house so that he could train here, for awhile things actually seemed okay, she toughed him how to exorcise demons with his mind and that was it. But then his rage took the best of him, revenge became the only thing he could see and when Ruby refused to teach him about his other powers he decided to do it himself. He started practicing on his own, started talking to demons and making alliances with them instead of exorcising them. Ruby and I tried to stop him, bring him back to his senses, but he just wouldn't listen. Somewhere along the way he got a new goal – become the ruler of demons. When Ruby and I learned of this… she tried to stop him and he almost killed her, after that she gave up, said that it was too late to save him and left." There is no way Sam would ever do any of that. No way.

"So what? You gave up on him just because he almost killed a demon?" I ask suddenly getting angry.

"No. I gave up on him because he almost killed me." He says. Suddenly the anger is replaced by shock and a cold feeling I can't even describe.

"What?" I ask in a whisper, because I find myself unable to speak any louder.

"The incident with Ruby happened about a month and a half after you died. After that I kept on trying to get through to him, he didn't listen, but he didn't do anything to harm me either. About a month after Ruby I was trying to talk to him, but it turned into an argument between us and he used his powers against me. Started using the telekinesis thing, slamming me around the walls, he only stopped after I passed out. I spent two weeks in a hospital after that, it's a miracle I survived." He finishes.

"No, no, no. Sam wouldn't do that. Ever. He wouldn't." I say shaking my head.

"I think that at first when he decided to take over hell it was to save you." He says.

"To save me? You have got to be kidding me." I say shocked.

"Think about it, you were in hell, the demons didn't want to let you out, but as their ruler he could've made them do whatever he wanted to. He never said that, but I know him and I know how much he was still hurting." He says.

"Well if that's the case then when he sees that I'm back he'll come back to us, right?" I ask hopefully.

"Dean… He already became their ruler about a month ago, Lilith's in hiding and there are only a few demons left that are still loyal to her. I really think that at first he was doing this to save you, but the powers got the best of him. He's gone Dean." He says.

"No, he's not. Don't you dare say that." I say standing up.

"Dean." He says warningly.

"I'm not giving up on him!" I yell angrily.

"It's too late." He says.

"You don't know that. I will bring him back. You can either help me or stay out of my way." I say determined. He sighs.

"Of course I'll help you." He says. I nod. I will save him if it's the last thing I do.

The bed is soft. Too soft and the darkness is consuming. No matter how many times I keep on telling myself that I'm back, I'm alive, I just can't help but feel like any moment now I'll open my eyes and be back there. But that's not the reason why I'm laying awake in the bed in Bobby's house when I should be sleeping, the reason for that is Sam. I can't stop thinking about him. I just can't wrap my head around everything that Bobby told me. Sammy wouldn't do any of that. But it looks like he did. I can only hope that Bobby's wrong and he's not too far gone to be saved. Maybe when he sees that I'm back he'll come to his senses. Maybe it will be enough. Please, let it be enough.

"So how do you want to do this?" Bobby asks. We're sitting at his table and I'm forcing myself to eat breakfast. I don't know if it's the thing with Sam or coming back from hell, but somehow the very thought of food makes me feel sick.

"We need to find him and then I'm just going to talk to him." I answer. I don't feel tired, I should, because I didn't get any sleep last night, but I don't.

"It's not going to be that easy, even if we do find him he'll be surrounded by demons." He says.

"Then we'll find some way to distract them, I just need to talk to him." I say.

"You really think talking to him will bring him back?" He asks. He doesn't think that it will, but I can't think like that. Really, I can't, hope is the only thing keeping me alive.

"I have to try." I say. I wish I wouldn't sound so broken. I wish for a lot of things actually. There's a moment of silence.

"Then we'll try." He says sensing the desperation in my voice.

Sam's POV:

A little girl is asking her father to buy her ice cream. Her face lights up when he agrees… An older woman is sitting at a table on the other side of the small café I'm in and talking with who I can only assume is her son, a smile on her face… The young waitress I just ordered food from is talking with someone on the phone, she's laughing. It's fascinating how little people need to find happiness. Was I like that too? I guess I was.

"Here is your food." A waitress says putting a bowl of salad on my table. She has a smile on her face.

"Thank you." I say offering her a smile too. My smile feels fake and so does talking so nicely, but acting is entertaining and what else am I supposed to do when I'm not ordering around demons?

"Let me know if you need anything else." She says and walks away. I start eating my salad. 'Rabbit food' – Dean would say. The memory doesn't hurt, it's weird because I still expect for it too. I eat the food and leave. I get in my car, which is not the impala, and drive down the road, just a little out of town. I left the impala back at Bobby's, I'm not even sure why I did, but I think back then it made sense to me. I stop in front of the huge mansion, drive through the gate that's surrounded by my demons. The mail man, the neighbors, the cab driver, they're all demons. I get out of the car and walk inside my mansion.

"Hello Sir." Jimmy, one of my demons greets me. He looks nervous, scared. Good, he should be. They should all fear me.

"Any news on Lilith?" I ask putting the car keys on the table.

'No, sir, but we'll find her." Jimmy says.

"You better." I say giving him a hard look. I walk through a door leading to the library. My personal library. There are books from all around the world, books that simple people would spend years trying to find and still fail, but my demons only took a few days to find thousands of these very rare books.

"Hey honey." I greet the girl sitting on the couch.

"Hello, Sam." She says forcing a smile. Ashley Miller. Eighteen years old. Human. Her soft, straight brown hair ends just a little below her shoulders and her eyes are so blue they remind me of an ocean. I watch her as she nervously runs a hand through her hair, while her eyes stare into mine, trying to read me. I sit down next to her. She flinches when our shoulders touch, but she doesn't move away. She knows better than that. I first met her a month ago in a park. She was sitting on the swings and she was all alone. She looked upset. The next day I told my demons to bring her here. Honestly I was just bored, I wanted some company and decided she would be perfect for the job. It didn't take her long to figure out running wasn't an option. A few months ago the very thought of kidnapping someone like that would've horrified me, but I guess a lot's changed since then. It's not like I ever hurt her, at least not a lot, she can have anything she wants, walk around town, talk to people, have fun, whatever she wants, as long as she doesn't run and acts the way I want for her to act. I put my arm around her shoulders and bring her even closer to me.

"Did you eat anything yet?" I ask casually.

"Yes." She answers.

"Good." I say.

"How was your walk?" She asks.

"Good, I went to a café. We should go there together sometime." I say.

"We should." She says. She's tense. I love the fear. I stand up, pick up a book and sit back down beside her. I should've embraced my powers a long time ago. It's weird, I was so afraid that if the powers took over it'd turn into something I'm not, some other person with different goals and interests, but I was wrong, that's not the way it works at all. It's still me. I still hate Lilith, I still like learning new things, the only difference is that now I have powers and I don't feel any of those weak human emotions. There's no more pain, or guilt, or love, I don't have to feel anything I don't want to feel. But that doesn't change what I know, what I understand. Ashley starts standing up, but I grab her wrist, bring her back down and roughly kiss her on the lips, then I let her go. She stands there for a few seconds, unsure of what to do, then says something about wanting to get some sleep and walks out of the library. I start reading my book. Yup, not feeling is good.

I don't know if anyone's interested in reading a story set so long ago and I'm always very busy with school so I'll only continue this if I'll get reviews, so yeah if you like it then please review, it would mean a lot.