Written for KakaYama Week Day 7: Hokage.
I originally didn't plan to write for this prompt; and then I was up at around 3am the other day and Kakashi sort of dumped feelings in my lap along with part of this scene. . .
Yamato's fingers tightened on the armour he held as he heard the apartment door open, then close. Following it there was no lazily playful call of greeting, nor low murmur of relief, not even the sound of gear being shed to the floor in exhaustion. None of the usual sounds, only silence after the click of the lock engaging.
He closed his eyes for a moment. Not unsurprising. Upsetting . . . but not surprising.
Yamato put his body armour down neatly, alongside the long armoured gloves, then left them behind to make his way quickly out into the main room. Kakashi stood only a few paces inside, unmoving, his visible eye blank. He still wore all of his gear, from hitai-ate to flak vest to sandals.
Yamato sighed and went to his lover, smoothing a hand over Kakashi's side and then gently pulling his vest off. Kakashi shuddered and glanced at Yamato, his eye dark and not quite focused.
Yamato kissed his cheek and divested him of sandals and pouches as well, then tugged him through into the bedroom. Likely he hadn't had dinner yet - neither had Yamato - but it could wait. Neither of them were in any mood to eat just now.
Kakashi tugged his own mask down as Yamato closed the bedroom door, and he offered the soft patch Kakashi usually wore at home in place of his hitai-ate. He switched them mechanically before sinking down onto the edge of the bed.
Yamato joined him there, sliding a hand over his back. He still didn't speak, letting Kakashi choose himself whether to do so or remain silent, just keeping in contact. Kakashi tucked his legs up on the bed, looking at the floor, then folded his arms around himself tightly.
Yamato moved with him, stopping just shy of wrapping him into an embrace.
"They- They want me to-" Kakashi began suddenly, voice rough. "Tsunade ordered that I. . ."
Yamato stroked his brow and down to cup his cheek. "I know." he said softly. He had heard, though he probably shouldn't have, some time after Tsunade had spoken to Kakashi about it. He knew - could see - why, too, but with Kakashi like this. . .
Yamato wrapped his arms around his lover as Kakashi mumbled the denials he had probably mostly kept behind his teeth when he was told that he had been chosen. Protested that he couldn't be the one to take the position. Yamato hugged him tighter as the words came faster and more muddled, more obvious distress bleeding into his tone.
"I never wanted this. I never wanted this." Kakashi half-keened the words, face turned in towards Yamato's shoulder as he shook.
Yamato swallowed against the painful lump in his throat. "I know." he said softly, stroking his lover's hair. "I know, Kashi. I'm sorry." He nestled his cheek against Kakashi's head. "I'm so sorry." he crooned, rocking with Kakashi held close in his arms.
His shoulder was damp, though Yamato would never mention it, and Kakashi's fingers gripped his shirt and dug into his back hard enough to be leaving bruises. He wouldn't mention that either. He simply rubbed Kakashi's back and hugged him tight.
He knew when the sun rose and the village looked to their new Hokage Kakashi would take up his newly-assigned place with a dismissive, casual air, and none of them would see a hint of this.
It was the first time in many years Yamato had hated his village.
"I'm here, my love." Yamato murmured, tugging Kakashi further into the bed with him, pulling a blanket up around them less for warmth than for the illusion of shelter. "I understand." He kissed Kakashi's cheek and glanced at the porcelain mask he hadn't worn for some time now. He had unearthed it from its sealed storage trunk earlier. As soon as he'd returned home, mind ringing with the news he had overheard. "I will be there with you." he promised, resting his cheek against Kakashi's bowed head.
It was all he could do, but Cat would be at his Hokage's side as once he had guarded Hound's back.