Well That's New

by maxibatts

Bit of random crack really. Twin looks of disbelief were on the Winchester’s faces. A possessed laminator? They’ve faced some different monsters in their time, but seriously, possessed office equipment?

Well That's New...

A disturbing crackling sound and the smell of overheating plastic roused Josie from her daydreams.

"Ah shit."

Her colleague lifted his head slightly.

"What?"

"Damn laminator's eaten my work again."

He smiled patronisingly. "Don't blame the machine just because it can't defend itself. Now are you sure you lined the wallet up properly?"

"Yes I'm friggin' sure!"

"Riiiight..."

He left the room to the sound of a faint murmured "Damn thing's possessed..."

xxxxxxx

Dean appeared behind his brother and put his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "You got them?"

Sam picked up the records and looked around nervously. "Yeah, come on, before they notice anything's missing!"

"And when have they ever noticed?"

"Well you never know, this could be the day. Come on Dean, let's get out of here."

The Winchester lengthened their stride and sped out of the coroner's office, holding a manila envelope and sneaking furtive glances behind them. They crossed the road to where the gleaming Impala waited, Dean's hand reaching for the keys when a piercing scream filled the air. Sam and Dean glanced at each other for about a millisecond before racing towards the building, stopping only to grab a couple of weapons out of the trunk.

"Help! It's possessed!"

"Demon?" Sam turned to look back at his brother. "You get the holy water?"

"Yes and yes. Now come on, I got a damsel in distress to save and for once it's not you Samantha!"

Sam huffed and glared at his older brother, but sped up anyway. They both reached the door at the same time; just as it slammed open with such a force it hit the wall and nearly caught Dean on the nose. An incredibly short woman with straggly mousy brown hair stared at them, her eyes wide with panic, her cheeks a bright red and panting from exertion. A loud groaning sound came from the dark room behind her and in her haste to get away ran straight into Dean's chest. He glanced across at Sam mouthing "Irresistible" He just pouted at his older brother and put his hand on the shaking woman's shoulder,

"Urrm.. Miss? What happened?"

She turned to look at Sam, still shaking and breathing heavily after her escape from the building.

"You have to believe me! It attacked me! I was just trying to do my work and it came out of nowhere!"

Sam was just about to console her when her words hit him.

"It?"

She looked up at the youngest Winchester like he was stupid.

"Yeah, it. The laminator!"

Twin looks of disbelief were on the Winchester's faces. A possessed laminator? They've faced some different monsters in their time, but seriously, possessed office equipment?

"Our lives are weird man."

Xxxxxxxx

After driving the woman, Josie, to her friend's house the Winchesters drove back to the office building and parked outside, discussing the best way to gank the laminator.

"Still can't believe this. Seriously, when did demons get so eager to be on earth that they'd possess office equipment? It's a little pathetic really..."

"Yeah, it just makes our job a lot more interesting!"

"So my dearest geek brother, how the hell are we sending this demon back to... well, hell?"

Sam pursed his lips for a moment. "Well, it's possessed right? So hopefully that means our usual holy water and exorcism routine should work."

Dean looked at his brother. "I was hoping for something a little more reassuring than 'should' Sammy... Still... How hard can it be?"

Sam looked down at the holy water flask in his hand. "Famous last words Dean..."

Xxxxxxxxx

Dean quickly and neatly picked the lock and gently pushed open the door, half expecting an almighty groan. The door remained silent. The light from outside seeped into the room, lighting only enough to see two feet in front of them. His gun held in front of him Dean cautiously scoped out the room.

"Anything?"

"Nah, no sign of the sucker yet."

The brothers made their way further into the building, ominous silence filling the air. They soon came to one of the last rooms on the corridor. A quiet whirring noise from the EMF meter made both the Winchesters jump. After a glancing conversation Dean kicked the door open, while Sam stepped in behind Dean, covering his back. There was no sound and they looked round the room, torches flickering from corner to corner. Just as they were about to leave the room a smell of burnt plastic filled the air and the door slammed shut behind Sam.

Xxxxxxxxxx

A full scale battle was going on in the little office down the road from the coroner's. Dean was sat on the floor looking dazed after a brief flight ending in a collision with the unforgiving wall. The laminator was in the middle of the room, spitting hot plastic and sharp edged sealed wallets. A sudden spurt aimed at Dean surprised him, only his hunting instincts saving him from multiple paper cuts, however he wasn't quite quick enough to avoid the last one and it caught him on the left cheek. Feeling the sharp stinging pain Dean raised a hand to his cheek and cursed when his hand came away bloody.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Dean!" Sam heard his brothers cry and started to make his way across the room, fending off the lethal weapon in the centre with holy water and well aimed shots of rock salt. Finally making it to his brother Sam hauled Dean up, passing him the shotgun he had dropped after his encounter with the wall.

"Thanks bro."

Sam just smirked at Dean. "Yeah, well now I'm saving your ass Deanna!"

The shock on his brother's face was enough for Sam to let his guard down and next thing they were both pulled down by a ferocious yank, hitting the floor with a loud thud. They were pinned there by the laminator's amped up demonic powers, held in place as the laminator began a slow crawl across the floor to where the brothers lay. Sam looked at his brother with panic in his eyes. Dean just turned to him and said "Relax Sam, it's not like it's gonna eat us, I mean, look at the size of it!"

"Urr... Dean..."

Dean carried on his reassurances, regardless of Sam's continuing warnings. "It doesn't even have a way to get us; we're way too big for it..."

"Dean!"

Dean turned to glare at his brother. "What?"

"Maybe you should take a look now..." Sam motioned to the still crawling laminator, which had quadrupled in size and now had large, sharp teeth and threatening dark black eyes.

"Aw crap."

Xxxxxxxx

The machine was close to Sam's head now, almost reaching his hair splayed out across the floor. The brothers were still pinned to the floor and were almost starting to panic. Dean's shotgun lay just out of reach, his fingers desperately trying to stretch that extra inch needed to grab the weapon. Sam was in full blown panic mode as hot plastic spat from the laminator caught his arm, burning his skin whilst the machine gurgled and groaned. Sam tried to move his head away from the heat but it was only slammed back down again with extreme force. Suddenly Sam had a brain wave.

"Dean, it's a demon!"

"I noticed Sammy!"

"No that means we can exorcise it!"

"I thought you'd done that!"

"I was a little preoccupied trying to save your ass from the killer office equipment!"

"Well what are you waiting for now!"

"Oh yeah, right." Sam began the ritual, feeling the scalding hot air from the laminator's mouth wash over him.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio..."

The laminator screamed and increased its speed, and began to splutter out hot laminated sheets the sharp edges aimed at Sam's defenceless body. Small, deep cuts peppered his body but Sam persevered with the exorcism, knowing it was their only chance.

"et secta diabolica, in nomine et virtute Domini Nostri Jesu Christi, eradicare et effugare a Dei Ecclesia, ab animabus ad imaginem..."

The laminator gave another unearthly screech as it focussed all its attention on Sam, letting go of Dean completely. The elder Winchester flung out his arm and finally grabbed the loaded shotgun. He aimed, trying to get a clear shot that wouldn't hit his brother but the possessed machine was practically on top of him and Sam's long body was in the way.

"Dammit Sammy..." Dean murmured to himself before shouting to his brother "You gotta finish the ritual Sam! It's the only way to stop it!"

Sam realised Dean was right, took a deep breath and whispered the last line of the rite. "Dei conditis ac pretioso divini Agni sanguine redemptis."

Another screech and the pressure pushing Sam into the floor was suddenly gone, allowing him to fill his lungs with air and gasp with relief. But it wasn't over yet. The laminator was still going crazy, still spitting hot plastic, as well as spewing black sulphuric smoke. It started to glow molten red, and the heat came off the machine in waves.

"Sam!"

Dean pulled his brother off the floor and they ran out the door, yanking it open just in time to escape as the laminator blew up, taking out the whole room. The Winchester's legged it down the corridor and out of the building, running for the Impala, Dean pulling Sam all the way. They reached the car and Sam slapped his brother's hand away from his jacket.

"I'm fine Dean, really."

Sam brushed the cooled plastic globules from his clothes and slid into the passenger seat. Dean shrugged and slipped in beside Sam.

"Guess things are back to normal, huh Sam?"

Sam turned to look at his brother incredulously. "How is possessed office equipment normal Dean?"

"Nah, I meant me saving your ass after all." He smirked and started the Impala's engine.

"Jerk."

"You're the bitch in distress Sammy..."

The End