Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognize.
A/N: Okay, I've started a new fanfic. I hope everyone likes it. It's going to wind up slash, so you have been warned. Just one little note before I start. I am so sorry to everyone who thinks I am ruining everything by doing this but, I have made it so this is year 5 for the gang, yet none of the stuff in book five happened. I just did not want to deal with the whole OotP thing. So, I'm sorry again, but, please read anyway. I hope you like.
"Attention students." Dumbledore rose from his seat, hitting his spoon on his glass, and calling for everyone's concentration. "I have a little surprise for Valentine's Day."
There was a mixture of curiosity and a slight bit of dread at the breakfast tables. Surprises at Hogwarts were always interesting; however, interesting did not always describe a good thing. Few students could forget the Valentine messengers from three years ago.
"Dumbledore's a good man and all, but sometimes his ideas are a little out there," Ron muttered.
"I doubt it will be that bad." Ron stared incredulously at Hermione.
"You do remember second year, don't you?" Hermione was suitably chastised.
"Nothing could be worse than that," Harry mumbled into his breakfast. Fred and George had turned out to be just as hard coaches as Wood had been. Practices were scheduled three hours before breakfast.
Oblivious to the conversation going on before him, which makes sense because the three were rather far away from him, Dumbledore continued on in his little speech. "I have hired several actual cupids who will be flying around the school today. Each one is loaded with magical arrows. As you would expect, they will be aiming them at two people at a time, causing them to fall instantly in love. Only, instead of lasting forever, the spell will only last twenty-four hours. I hope that this will help to spread the Valentine cheer between houses and create new friendships. Let the fun begin!"
Obviously the students were in shock. One could almost hear the metaphorical crickets. Just as the true horrors of the situation were beginning to sink in, a "whoosh" was heard from where the owls normally entered. Only instead of the feathered letter messengers, tiny men in diapers were flying in, each armed with a bow and a quiver.
Normally the Great Hall cleared slowly. Today it was a stampede to the doors; the unlucky screams of the skewered people in the back only urging the ones in the front faster.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione, once clear of the doors, made a mad dash to their first class of the day, Herbology. As they entered green house two, they could see heads of other classmates poking out from where they were hiding between the various plants.
"See, Hermione, what did I tell you? Dumbledore's a madman! I mean, he's completely bonkers!" Ron spluttered indignantly.
"Hush, Ron, it's not that bad an idea. The logic behind it somewhat makes sense."
Ron once again had the sudden urge to smack Hermione upside the head. "I saw the way you were rushing out the door. And you won't be thinking that after you start lusting after Crabbe or Goyle."
Harry shook his head. "Nah, its too late for Crabbe. I saw him and a second year Ravenclaw get hit." All three shared a collective shudder.
By this time most of the students had entered the class. One or two of the last ones looked slightly love struck. Parvati was mumbling the wonders that were Blaise Zabini. Professor Sprout came in last, shaking her head.
"Honestly, sometimes I do not know where Dumbledore comes up with these crazy schemes of his. I swear, if the cupids weren't specifically told not to go after teachers." Sprout glanced up and saw most of the class watching her. "Oh, hello, students. Today we will be discussing the healing properties of several common herbs found in Africa."
The class went on normally enough. Parvati only had to be yelled out twice for writing love letters to Blaise. Most people were just glad to be away from the cupids of doom. When the class came to an end, Sprout had to threaten several students with taking away points before they finally left.
About half the class opted for running to Potions, while the others walked making sure to keep an eye out. Harry, Ron, and Hermione arranged themselves so they were always looking in every direction.
"Bloody hell, I could hate Dumbledore for this. Making me all paranoid and jumpy."
"Ron, we know you don't like this. Neither do we. But, please, just stop complaining."
"I'll complain all I want, Hermione. And I'll complain even more if I wake up tomorrow morning if I wake up in Pansy's bed."
"Umm, guys, not to interrupt or anything, but I suggest we run. Now." Harry was pointing at the ceiling. Or, more specifically, at a cupid hovering near the ceiling. By now, most other students had noticed and the halls were beginning to evacuate quickly. Harry estimated the distance between him and the potion door. It was possible to make it. Ron and Hermione must have also had the same thought because all three began to run at the same time.
The Boy Who Lived, now also The Boy Who Dodged Cupid, sprinted into the room and took cover under a nearby desk. After a minute passed with him hearing no "whoosh"-ing sounds, he peered over the desk and gasped out loud.
There had been a casualty, or two to be precise. They had lost Ron and Hermione. Instead of bickering as they had been a minute ago, the pair practically waltzed into the potions room clinging to each other.
"Ron, what happened?" Harry was frantic. In less then a second, his friends had changed completely from barely being able to be near each other for 5 minutes without fighting to being all over each other. Of course, being all over each other was actually just some touches and leaning on each other. Nothing like Parvati and Blaise; now that was all over.
"The cupid hit me and Hermione. What did you think?"
"How can you be so calm about this?"
Professor Snape walked in at this point, causing the entire class to find seats. For the first time since ever, Harry had to sit next to Neville; Ron and Hermione were well on their way to becoming RonandHermione. Harry could only stand, or rather sit back and splutter.
Snape surveyed his class, the usual trademark I-would-rather-be-spending-quality-music-less-time-with-Fluffy-the-three-headed-dog look of disgust on his face. However, this time it was slightly warranted. Watching Goyle and Dean making puppy dog eyes at each other would make a troll lose its lunch. Sighing to himself, the potions master cleared his throat to begin class.
"Despite the current situation, class will continue as normally. Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Weasley, Miss. Granger. There will be no public displays of affection in my classroom. Today, we will be working on a silencing potion. You will be testing them at the end of class. The instructions are in your book. Begin."
Harry was almost finished spluttering at this point to realize that everyone else was looking through the textbook. He hoped Neville would be slightly less clueless then he currently was. Neville was able to inform Harry that they were indeed working on a potion that was in fact in the textbooks. Harry was able to find the correct one and start to work, even though it was hard blocking out the fact that Neville was mumbling to himself the steps, that were in fact wrong, to the potion. Also, every time he saw RonandHermione getting all snuggly, his left eye developed a twitch.
"Time is up. Please pass your potions to the person to your left and drink. If it worked correctly, you will be able to talk again in five minutes. If not, come see me." Snape always thought this was the best part of the class, especially in regards to this mixture. If it worked, lovely silence until time was up. If not, usually something at least slightly amusing would happen that would give him just what he needed to get through the day.
Harry breathed a sigh of relief. Hermione was to his right. At least nothing bad would happen. The potion, as usual, tasted foul, yet, a little unusually, somewhat of coconuts. There was the required tingly feeling and then nothing.
"..." Harry tried to speak. Hermione was able to tear her eyes off Ron a minute to look happy that it worked. Harry gave her a thumbs up.
The only major mishaps were Harry's distractedly mixed cocktail causing Neville to quack like a duck, Neville's potion causing Seamus' face to turn blue, and Goyle's potion exploding as Dean raised it to his lips. The rest of the class was silent; some resorted to a somewhat abridged version of sign language, while others just sat around or enjoyed what the cupids caused.
Harry regained his voice as he was exiting the dungeons. He immediately seized upon to opportunity to interrogate his two friends.
"Don't you two realize you are under a spell?!" More spluttering.
"Harry, please calm down, your eye is twitching. Yes, I do know that I am under a spell. I also know that before the spell was cast, I did have feelings toward Ron. And I'm pretty sure he did too," Hermione patiently explained.
Ron nodded. "Yeah, I did like Hermione before. It was rather obvious. How did you not notice? You are rather dense, mate."
"But, but you two are just acting so comfortable."
"It's probably the spell. After it wears off, there will most likely be an extreme awkward phase until we realize we are meant for each other magic or no magic. The spell's just sort of like an icebreaker."
"It's just that it's all rather creepy. And the cupids are still flying around we're just standing out in the open," Harry realized. However, they were about to be held up some more as that familiar drawl broke into their conversation.
"Well, well, well if it isn't Potty, Weasel, and the Mudblood. You mustn't get used to this, Granger. After all, who would want to date some ugly Mudblood? Even the Weasels ought to have some class." Draco Malfoy was standing in the hallway, his typical smirk across his face, arms folded over his chest. Harry couldn't figure out what was different until he realized that Malfoy was lacking two cronies. Ron didn't care about noticing any absences. He was more concerned with bashing said smirk off Malfoy's face.
"Why you dirty, little—" Ron stopped suddenly.
"Is that all you got, Weasel?" the blond did not notice anything odd in Ron's expression, which was weird because it had this glazed over, frightened kind of thing going on.
"Harry, get out of here!" Ron finally managed to say, while pointing at the cupid behind and to the left of Malfoy.
"Oh, shit," were Harry's last word before the arrow that would change his life forever hit.