Title: Parallel
Author: Crystal (ellowyntinuviel)
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Galinda/Elphaba
Verse: book/musical; nothing specific either way
Disclaimer[insert generic/humorous disclaimer here
Summary: You'll never know… / I'd have to be blind not to…
A/N: So, I wrote this at three in the morning. This is what insomnia and Family Guy reruns yield at that hour.
Feedback is appreciated. I take the good and the bad; I'll even take the ugly. Bring it on:)
IMPORTANT: The first part is from Galinda's perspective; the second part is from Elphaba's perspective.
------ Pink on Green ------
I wish you knew how I felt about you. I wish I had the courage to just confront you with my feelings, to spill my heart out in a moment of passion. I wish I could confront you, tell you to stop thinking, and just feel.
Every time I look at you, my knees feel shaky. I've started to make sure I'm sitting down if I venture to look in your direction, because somehow you always catch me watching and the look you give me makes me feel faint. Yet you never say anything.
I constantly think of you. I constantly long for you, to feel your hair through my fingers, your warm breath on my neck, your mouth… well, let's say that I want you. I wish I could have you.
I watch you all the time, observe you. I watch the way you move your lips when you read, the movement barely perceptible unless one watches closely enough. I watch the way you twirl your pencil between your fingers when you're thinking particularly hard. I watch the way you lick your lips quickly when you're nervous, your tongue darting out in the blink of an eye. I watch you from afar. You never notice.
I get nervous around you, and initiate contact, hoping you'll take the next step. When I take your hand suddenly as we walk, you never notice. When I throw my arms around you in a hug, you just pat my back calmly and move on. When I kiss you on the cheek, you blush. I wonder what color you'd be if I were to kiss you on the lips. I tried once, but you turned suddenly, either because you didn't want me to or you weren't paying attention. You never mention it.
I wish this could be easy. If you were a boy, if you weren't green, if you knew how to deal with people and emotions, this would be simpler. If I weren't such a coward, I would have said something already. I wish I could be brave, for you. So this would be easy.
I love you so much it hurts; it hurts to sit near you, our legs and arms brushing against one another, because of the barely-there touches of skin and cloth and electricity with no outlet; it hurts to hug you, because I know that it's the only time I get to hold you; it hurts when you look at me, because I can see the intensity in your gaze and I know that it's not for me only, your gaze is always intense. You are always so intense. I wish you would turn your intensity towards me. We could set the world ablaze with our passion. But you're never passionate about me. It's never me.
You probably think I'm crazy, acting so strange. Touching you whenever possible, watching you constantly. It makes me feel like some kind of stalker, but when I see the way the sun casts a beautiful emerald glow to your skin, it makes it worth it.
I wish you could know how I feel. Maybe then you would come closer, and let me live my life with you by my side, close to me in every way imaginable. I wish you'd stop putting distance between us.
You never notice what you do to me. Your ignorance is my pain.
You'll never know just what I feel for you. I wish you did.
------ Green on Pink ------
You must think I am patently blind. I may not know much about people and human feelings, but I am not blind. It insults me that you think that little of my ability to see what's right in front of me.
You sit across the room, acting coy, pretending to inspect the quality of you last manicure, secretly watching my every movement. It made me nervous at first to think of someone watching me. Like all of your other quirks, I got used to it. I thought the novelty would wear off. Somehow, it hasn't.
I would be a liar if I said that I did not think you beautiful. The delicate princess Galinda, all golden ringlets and bright blue eyes, a small voluptuous figure and alluring smile. I see the façade; I see through the façade.
When you are real, you're even more beautiful. When you strip off the mask at the end of day, sighing appreciatively at removing the stress of life, your hair brushed into gentle waves, your eyes deeper and more thoughtful, your smile barely-there in an endearing sort of way. Like I said, I would be a liar if I said I didn't see your beauty. I feel like a stain on your magnificence when I stand next to you.
And yet, you're around me all the time, you touch me all the time. I hate it. You gently take my hand sometimes when we walk to class; you throw your arms around me in an impromptu hug; you kiss me on the cheek lightly for no plausible reason. You tried to kiss me on the lips once, but I wouldn't let you. I saw the hurt flash in your eyes and your smile falter for just a moment, and felt terrible. I hate when you touch me, because I know I can't truly touch you back and that hurts you. You remind me of all the beautiful and wonderful things I can't have, the things I wish I could have.
I wish you could understand why we can never be more than friends, why we really shouldn't be that much in the first place. We are too different. You are the perfect blonde princess with a life of pomp and privilege ahead of her, of mountains of clothes and a rich aristocrat husband, of society parties and expensive galas. For all I know, you'll never spare me a passing thought then. I'm the green girl, nothing more and nothing less. I don't know where my life will take me, and what I'll do in the years ahead. I'm sure I'll think of you every day, but I know that our fates are not one and the same. I wish you could understand. It would be easier for me to push you away if you understood why.
I wish you didn't make me feel so much. I wish that just mere sight of you didn't inspire deep feelings in me that I never even knew existed. It's so hard caring this much about one person and never being able to take it further. It hurts me to be around you, to want to protect you, care for you, caress you, feel you… love you.
I wish you could know how I feel. Maybe then you would back off, and let me live my life without the hurt of having to be so close to you, but so far away at the same time. I wish I didn't have to keep you at a distance.
You think I don't know. My pain is knowing too much.
You'll never know just what I feel for you. Sometimes, I wish you did.
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The End
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