Ghost of My Past

Written by exquisitegreen

Disclaimer (and comments): I do not own any of the characters, etc.. portrayed in this piece of fiction. I am like a puppet master; I make use of the characters, etc.. and bend them to my will. HAHA. Tis evil, I know, but it is all the more amusing to me. I kid. I am really a nice person. Really. So yeah. Anyway, excuse me for any grammar and spelling errors. If you see any, kindly point them out and I shall see if I can fix it somehow. I am not a perfect writer; I make mistakes. I am a newbie so forgive me for any unsightly errors I may have made. Love this? Hate this? Please leave a review…cause it makes me happy. TT; Seriously, it doesn't take long to post a simple review. You are actually helping me become a better writer. Thank you and please enjoy.

Chapter 1

He sits there, as serene as Sora has ever seen him.

His long legs are tucked neatly underneath him, a hint of a white sock peeking out of baggy, beige cargos. One hand rested on his lap, fingers slightly curled, and the other propped his head up over the arm of the beat up, brown couch as he stared out the window. His long, silver hair was pulled up into a loose ponytail, stray strands and bangs messily framing his heart-shaped face. The golden rays of the setting sun seeped into the living room, spreading a warm glow over the entire scene, making all the colors in the room appear to blend together. His unfocussed eyes shone a vivid green, reflecting the fading light.

He looked as if he was far away, lost in a world entirely his own, completely at peace.

This was the sight that greeted Sora as he stepped into his house after a long, tiring day of school, soccer practice, and Kairi. He very much wished that he had a camera to capture this moment; it was picture perfect…

Time seemed to hang suspended in the air.

"Riku."

The moment shattered in an instant. Time fast-forwarded to the present. Sora vaguely regretted breaking the silence. Riku rarely looked this tranquil around anyone nowadays. Lately, he was distracted and distant to everyone, including Sora, the one he usually confided all his secrets and troubles to. It was puzzling and upsetting at the same time.

Riku turned away from the window and faced his best friend of twelve years, mildly startled. He unfolded his legs to stand up, only to keel over and almost fall flat on his face, nearly chipping a tooth on the coffee table.

"Hey..," he mumbled, a little annoyed," my legs fell asleep on me. Great…"

Sora laughed. "And whose fault was that?"

"Uh. Yours, obviously." He declared with a mock self-righteous air. "It's all pins and needles now, thanks to you."

"Riiight. And you came to this conclusion…how?" Sora was quick to fall back into this easy banter, happy that they were acting like the best of friends once again.

After a few more minutes of teasing and small talk, another peaceful silence settled upon the two. Riku fingered the edges of his long, white sleeves, lost in thought, his eyes regaining that distant, dreamy gaze. Sora relaxed into the comfortable hush that surrounded them. The antique grandfather clock in the corner ticked the seconds away. The room eventually grew dimmer, making it harder to see and Riku forcefully pulled himself out of his trance to glance over at the other.

Ah...Sora. Quirky, adorable Sora.

Heh. He'd probably kill Riku if he ever heard him say something that would undermine his masculinity. ("I'll have you know that I have rock-hard abs from soccer!" and "Can you not see my manliness practically rolling off my body in waves?!")

Tch. He scoffed. Does a cow moo? Do girls wear push up bras? (Yes. Don't think that the all-knowing Riku can't see through their cheap tricks!) Do parents still have sexual intercourse?

Yes. YES!!! And, disturbingly, yes to the last question.

Riku had eyes. He could see that Sora was no longer an immature, little kid with baby fat in his cheeks. No, he certainly wasn't that anymore. He is now an immature teenager without baby fat. But in Riku's eyes, Sora will always be a cuddly life-sized teddy bear. A somewhat…sexy kind of teddy bear but one nonetheless.

For a long time now, Riku had the biggest crush on Sora. He was content toying with half-formed daydreams about his best friend for the last year or so. However, approximately eleven days ago, everything changed and all hell broke loose.

"Riku! Guess what?! Kairi and I are going out now!"

He could only smile stiffly as his mind reeled from this bit of news. All he could do was stand in shock amidst their friends' mutual congratulations and cries of happiness and excitement. Where did this come from? He didn't actually think that Sora would act on his feelings and muster up the courage to ask out the girl he had been talking about for two months like a lovesick fool.

Even though Riku was fully aware that his best friend was straight, he couldn't help clinging to the small hope that maybe, just maybe, Sora liked him back. That maybe he smiled a special kind of smile for Riku and that there was maybe a spark of something in his eyes whenever he glanced his way. After all, they did hang out just about every day and Sora wasn't repulsed by him when he fearfully admitted that he was attracted to guys. (Riku had to give him credit; he had thought that Sora would freak out and accuse him of being attracted to him or that he would be afraid that Riku would try to molest him or something stupid like that…-notthatitwasnttrue-)

With this piece of news, it seemed that all hope was lost. He never had a chance in the first place, did he?

In the days that followed, he wandered around aimlessly, moping to himself. He avoided anyone and anything that had to do with Sora and Kairi. He didn't need any more reminders about the happy couple. He was thinking about it hard enough as it was.

"Hey, you hungry?" Sora's voice cut into his thoughts.

"Umm…yeah. What do you have?"

He playfully smirked. "Who said I was gonna feed you? I just asked if you were hungry."

Riku glared back into his smug friend's face. "Ha. Ha. Quite the wisecracker here…"

"HAH! 'Wisecracker?!' How old are you, dude? No one says that."

He huffed. "WHAT-EH-VERRR."

"I see your snarky witticisms have failed you today…what is it? Tired already? Is your old age getting to you so soon?"

Riku stayed silent. A blank look settled on his face.

"Okay okay. I'll make you something…

Riku? Ri?

Dude, I'm sorry…

you know, you're not really mad. You just want to take advantage of any opportunity that presents itself to make me do stuff for you." Sora stated matter-of-factly.

"…..Oh. You know me so well, damn you. It's no fun at all." He complained.

"You know me, the pooper to your party…the burst to your bubble…etcetera…etcetera…" Sora listlessly replied.

"Yeah. I know…so what did you want to talk to me about? You said that you could only talk to me about it?"

This "talk" was what had been on Riku's mind all day. Sora had awkwardly called him the day before saying that he had to ask him something embarrassing and kind of personal. His heart immediately soared with hope. Maybe he's having doubts about Kairi? Or he's come to the realization that the one for him was Riku (never mind the fact that he was supposedly straight)? Oh dear lord, is he going to ask him out?! Oh…the possibilities. He felt a little light-headed at the thought of Sora confessing to him.

"Ah yes. THAT. Well…," here, he blushed. How cute. "I was wondering since…we have known each other so long and all…and we're soo close…you've had your share of boyfriends and even a girlfriend…and I only have this one with Kairi. I don't really know her that well…and girls in general basically. Guys are so much easier to understand you know?"

"We are very close and girls are quite strange…that's true. " He replied. Oh God…he's going to break up with her!

"Yes…how should I say this? Umm…you have a lot of experience. And you do have good taste! I always liked what you got me for Christmas and birthdays." The hell? What does that have to do with anything?

Sora continued. "So what I am trying to say is…Riku, will you buy something special for Kairi? Our two week anniversary is coming up."

He looked up at him hopefully but Riku stared at him with a vague expression of something akin to confusion and disbelief. Sora peered closer into his friend's eyes and thought he saw a flicker of pain but as he moved to look again, his face was carefully blank.

"Hey man? What do you say?"

"Yeah. That's fine with me…but is that all you wanted to ask me?"

"Hmm? Yep. That's all buddy. Thanks a lot. How about we go eat now?"

'Buddy.' That was like a slap to Riku's face. His spirits sank as his hopes were once again dashed. How stupid could he get? Who's acting like a lovesick fool now? This wasn't some kind of chick flick where the protagonist ends up with her man in the end. This was real life. Sora is in the midst of a beautiful, new relationship with a girl that he really likes, one who happens to like him back a lot.

Riku cleared his throat. "Uh. I can't stay for dinner. I gotta get home now. Homework and all..you know."

He knew his excuse was lame but he just had to get out of there. He stood up and grabbed his cellphone from the coffee table and slipped his white Chucks on as he stumbled a little towards the front door.

"What? We haven't even done anything yet.."

"Next time okay?" God…he needed time to think and be alone.

Sora shrugged. "Kay, I'll hold you to that. We need to have a Sora-Riku talk soon."

"Sure, sure. See you." Riku agreed hurriedly and with that, he left the other standing in the doorway. He rushed out into the cool night and breathed in big gulps of air. The cold breeze stung his eyes. He rounded the corner from Sora's street and when he was sure no one would see him, he leaned against a fence, staring off into the night sky, phone clutched in his hand and shoelaces untied.