Notes: This is a fic I wrote ages ago, and it's partially a fanfic of a fanfic. I don't know how many of you remember Sky Rat's "This Is Not My Life"? If you do, you should all go encourage her to finish it, and if you don't, you should definitely go read it!
So, this will make a little more sense if you've read TINML, but: this is from the point of view of Aya toward Yohji regarding the promise to his sister, but also from the point of view of the Star Princess toward her husband regarding the promise to her brother. (In TINML, Aya makes the comparison between himself and the princess.)
Fade
It's…hard to show you what I mean without saying it.
Maybe we've come to rely on speech too much as people, but I just can't make you understand.
Please wait for me.
Please. It's only a bit longer, a bit farther, and then whatever you'd like to hear can fall from my lips. I'll say anything. I'll say everything. I'll say that I love you.
Will you even believe me? How long has it been since you fell in love with me? Could anyone wait that long and not fall out of love? You've probably given up by now. I know I would have, if I were you.
I truly do want to share with you who I am. I do. It's just…I made a promise, and I can't go back on it. You'll understand when you hear me tell you. I made a promise to someone who means the world to me, and no matter how much I love you, I promised before I loved you.
You always understand. I wish you wouldn't.
I don't know why you keep up your hopes. I don't know why you still believe in me after all these years. I don't know why you still look at me with your sad eyes and expect I might answer.
People stare, you know. They whisper about me and say that I couldn't love anyone, that no one who stays silent for so long could possibly love. But that's wrong. It's because of love that I stay silent, and it's because of love that I'm still here. I would have left long ago if I didn't love the person for whom I promised.
If I didn't love you.
Why did you choose me anyway? Did you know what you were doing? Have you learned better?
Am I going to die now?
But it's all right. Because I can see you crying, and I know I mean a bit of something to you. It's all right because my promise is fulfilled now, and you might just love me a little, and that's all I ever wanted.
And your arms are holding me now, and your tears fall on my face. I know I shouldn't be smiling, but I'm warm and safe and don't mind a bit that I could be dying. I've wanted to be here for so long, and I'm free from my promise now, and…and…
"…I love you."