Dissidia Duodecim Tournament

Prologue

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Note: this is going to be told in the third person, even though I refer to myself as I. (That's right, I cameo in this one!)

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The Warrior of Light looked around at his surroundings. However, there was nothing to see, except a balcony that seemingly emerged from nothing around five metres above his head. All around him were all of his comrades and foes from the war.

Cloud Strife, Sephiroth, Jecht and Squall Leonhart constantly kept their weapons at the ready, while Bartz Klauser, Kefka Palazzo and Zidane Tribal were running around, desperately trying to find something in this empty void. Terra Branford remained nearby the Onion Knight, and a bored Tidus had struck up a conversation with Firion, Kuja, Golbez and Cecil Harvey to see how they'd been keeping up after Chaos's defeat. Emperor Mateus, the Cloud of Darkness, Ultimecia and Exdeath stood in the non-existent corner, keeping away from everyone else, and the Warrior's eternal enemy, Garland, stood next to him in complete silence

The Warrior kept a lookout for whoever had brought them all here, and especially kept an eye on the former Warriors of Chaos to make sure they didn't pull any tricks.

Then, everyone noticed movement up on the balcony; a tall, hooded man in a black cloak stood there now, looking out at the crowd.

"Vocal test, speech-giving vocal test," I said, testing my speech-giving voice. "Ahem-hum-hum, la la la la la, Sally sells seashells by the seashore, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Topeka, Kansas, Topeka, Kansas, Topeka, Kansas … okay."

Everyone stared in me in confusion. I noticed all of the stares and decided to be right to it.

"So, everyone, I bet you're all wondering why I brought you here to this void." I paused. "Oh, wait, wait, if it's a void, there won't be any air, so you won't be able to hear me, so…"

"We can hear you fine!" Bartz called. "Get on with it!"

"Really?" I exclaimed. "Oh, good! Anyway, we're still missing some people, but they're going to be here in … 3, 2, 1 …"

At that point, there was a flash of light, and ten more people appeared: Kain Highwind, Gilgamesh, Tifa Lockhart, Laguna Loire, Yuna, Shantotto, Prishe, Vaan, Gabranth, and Lightning.

"AHA!" cried Gilgamesh. "I have returned! My exile is at an end!" Then he noticed Exdeath. "Oh, crap."

"Exactly what I was thinking," said Tifa, looking warily at Sephiroth and Ultimecia.

"Okay, now that everyone's here, I can begin!" I said.

"Begin with what?" Lightning said, clearly not happy at this new development.

"The first ever Dissidia Duodecim Tournament!" I pronounced cheerfully.

Not surprisingly, everyone looked at each other, confused at this announcement.

"Odd," I remarked. "Usually, that announcement is met with cheers. Oh, right! I need to introduce myself! I am Lord Xamweth Oudeis. Anyway, I was sitting in my bedroom, just playing games, reading books, all the usual stuff, when suddenly, it hits me: how about I do something that no-one else has done before; something that –"

"Um, how long will it take," Prishe interrupted, "before you get to your point?"

I glared at the fighter. "I'm sorry, you didn't cheer at my announcement; it's too late to buy into the premise. Anywho, I am starting a tournament featuring you guys!"

Needless to say, no-one but me looked thrilled at this idea.

"The rules are simple," I continued. "I will pit random foes against each other in an epic clash of power. There will be five rounds to the tournament, with the later ones featuring battles based off how many wins each person has. You know, winners will fight winners, losers will fight losers, et cetera, et cetera."

Everyone looked at each other, trying to understand my idea.

"Each round will have sixteen fights, and the winner will be whoever wins in all five rounds."

"Hold!" Gabranth called. "You say there will be sixteen fights, and yet there only thirty of us. It is not possible for this tournament to commence."

"You will encounter the other two fighters in the tournament, and I hate it when people interrupt me!" he snapped. "Now, shush! Now then, in between fights, you will stay here." At my last word, an enormous mansion materialized behind the group. "Sleep well, and enjoy yourselves in this tournament to end all tournaments!"

With that, the balcony vanished with me on it.

The warriors looked at the mansion, then back at the spot where I was. Then they headed for the front door, wondering exactly what I had planned.

000

I know, I know, I suck at writing, don't I?

Anyway, if anyone wants to write about what happens in the mansion in between matches, they can help themselves. I'm more interested in the tournament itself.

Lord Xamweth Oudeis