Disclaimer: All Jk's unfotunately.
A Beautiful Disaster.
When All Is Said and Done
The nights had turned into days quite suddenly in fact as one Hermione Granger hadn't even noticed the change from her position by the lake. It had been less than a day since she had come home to find her house in ashes, smoke still reverting off the scene and the Dark Mark floating above it all.
Well, as most would expect her reaction was nothing less than extraordinary. She said absolutely nothing. The Know-It-All had finally been stumped to the final degree; most would be pleased if it were for a different reason, as it was all were sad.
Aurours were at the scene within moments after detecting the Casting of the imperious curse but yet again they were too late and all felt their guilt. There were many witnesses to the final event but the Fates have it be that none knew what to do. Not one of them had ever met a Wizard before and the concept of magic was beyond them, not that they'd have been able to help. A muggle against a fully grown Wizard trained in the darkest of magics wouldn't have been able to say 'Hey!' before the killing curse left the wizard's lips.
But this girl, she knew what would have happened, she knew what pain her parents suffered and it was all because of her, because she was a Mudblood. Death eaters had stormed her house and tortured her parents to the brink of insanity while she partied with her friends as a celebration to the end of sixth year. What an end to her first year of Newts.
Her arms curled around her body for warmth and she leant her head on top of them, attention focused on the ripples reflected in the light of the full moon. She could never let anyone in now for if she did, they would be hurt, just like her parents and she couldn't bare the guilt anymore.
Delicately pulling her shoes off, she slipped her socks off with them. Her legs now bare she followed suit with her jumper and tie, leaving her shirt and shirt on. It was time to end everything. To finish what they had started.
Taking her last look at the castle that had become her home for the last six years she descended into the water, letting it engulf her with ease.
"I'm sorry Albus." He admitted bitterly, as he gazed into the spitting fire, fire whisky in hand, "I tried; I couldn't have done anything else. It just wasn't possible. If I had objected to it he would have killed her too. I couldn't let her die. It was the lesser of two evils."
"I understand son. Things happen; we can not control everything that passes us by in our lives Severus. You have to forgive yourself." He replied, solemnly.
"How can I? When I know… when I know that I caused this pain. I made the decision and I killed them." He finished as he looked down at his hands.
"Don't you every say that boy." Said Albus sternly, "It was not your fault, there was nothing else you could have done my boy. You saved her, you tried to save her family." He shook his head, "The hand Fate deals us isn't always the one we wish to receive." He finished.
"I don't care about Fate's plans for me." He finished violently as he smashed his glass into the dying embers before him, "I've caused her so much pain Albus that,"he began, "is something I can never forgive myself for."
"Perhaps in time she will forgive you then maybe, you can forgive yourself." He offered.
"If she knew she'd never look at me again, let alone let herself forgive me." He finished distantly.
Walking towards the window in the Headmaster's office he gazed across the ground's a figure at the lake picking particular attention to him.
"How long has she been out there?" he asked softly.
"Ever since she came here my boy, ever since she came." He finished sadly, "she needs time to heal. We can only be here for her when she needs us. For now I believe she needs to be alone."
He placed his weight on his elbows and let his eyes focus on her. He had hurt her, this he knew, but how much was the question he couldn't bare to think over for long for the answer was always the same, irrevocably too much. He, like other people, had made a decision. It had changed people's lives forever, most not for the better. He had to choose whether 3 people died or two. What would you have done in his situation? I know what I would have done. I would have saved her and not thought twice about it. But Severus, he had killed already, these murders added to the debt that he could never atone for.
"Do you think she'll come back soon?" he queried from his position at the window.
"It rather depends if you can save her now or not." He finished the dregs in his tea and joined Severus at the window.
"What do you mean?"
"Look," he pointed to the floating figure in the lake.
The emotions that flew past his mind in that instant flew from guilt to despair. Neither good. He flew down those steps as if he were a born flyer, not for his life but for hers. It was as if he wasn't even in control of his actions. It was as if he were being control at this very moment by something far more powerful than magic. More powerful than actions. He truly felt for this person, what he felt I don't know but I'm sure as hell am going to find out.
His legs splashed against the freezing cold water the air freezing his legs in motion. His head went under and it became harder and harder to breathe. But it didn't matter, nothing did. All that mattered was finding her, saving her from the pit of despair that he had forced her into. Atoning for another mistake, or was he?
"Hermione," he pleaded, "Hermione please wake up." She was cold in his arms, immobile and unmoving.
"Hermione I know you feel awful, I can't imagine what you're going through but come back. Please come back, we can all work through this if you just come back to us, to me. Please don't leave me alone, not again. Hermione," he whispered, a small tear leaking from the corner of his eye, following a salty path down his cheek and falling upon the porcelain figure wrapped in his arms.
She breathed her eyes wild and suddenly tears sprang forth, unwanted, unbidden. She'd opened her jaws and howled in agony, in suffering, clinging to the only life line she had left. Severus.
"Why didn't you let me die?" she croaked and struggled pointlessly in his arms.
"Don't you ever do that again Miss Granger!" he whispered, harshly, "you do and I will make sure it's the last thing you do in this life time and the next." He threatened.
She didn't speak. Eyes rolling back in her head she submitted to the inevitable conclusion, she was doomed to live out this life until her last dying day.
Footsteps resounded off the stone floor beneath him, echoing the silence that reverberated from both of them. Held in his arms she travelled the long distance to school infirmary, dreading the competence of her actions. She would undoubtedly be subject to many 'I'm so sorry' or 'Why did you do it you silly girl?' it was the way of human behaviour. Those who couldn't begin to understand ones actions would always punish the other unintentionally. It would hurt them and possibly drive them to it again, but human behaviour dictates that when one is in extreme emotion they become their own priority. This is what she didn't want. She didn't want the pity or compassion they would try to force upon her. She didn't deserve it and she certainly didn't want it. All she wanted was to be left alone.
As she was laid onto the clean white sheets she turned away from everyone curling up against everything out in the world.
Stepping back from this scene he sighed. To anyone else it would seem as though he was glaring forcefully, but he was thinking, fully. Thinking that if someone like Hermione would do this to herself then what hope was there for the rest of the students that would undoubtedly lose someone close to them this year?
"What happened to her Severus?" gasped Madame Promfrey.
"She tried to drown herself." He stated in a monotone.
"Why?" she asked as she went over to the patient, only to be spitefully thrown backwards into the arms of Professor Snape.
"I wouldn't go near her, yet," he finished as he righted the woman, walking off to the dungeons as he said so. Never looking back.
"That man confuses me beyond words." She said, shaking her head in a fluster.
As Madame looked over at her patient she sighed with disappointment and sadness. She had thought our Hermione to be stronger but understood that the lose shed had suffered was a great one and not something that one would easily forget. She would never forget it, oh no, that much was true but in time she might be able to live with it. Live with the feeling of guilt and change it to something she might be able to deal with.
She ran her wand over the girl and watched as the blue light silhouetted the pale face of her patient. She looked a deathly pale and with her hair splayed out across the pillow Madame brushed a stray curl from her face before covering her with a blanket.
She gave her patient a once over again before retreating to her office for a midnight nap. Confident that if anyone should be in need of her then they would be able to find her easily.
In the shadows a man of middle age came into view and his sight focused on our dear and near one. He hadn't left her, he couldn't. It was just something he wasn't able too do. Now, most who knew him vaguely would call him a cold-hearted bastard, others he knew more would see how loyal he was to those special few he cared for. Our Hermione now being one of them though this she knew not of.
When he had heard of the Dark Lord's interest in her he had tried his best to seem convincing to his master that she was of no importance, this he thought had followed though, as it was it wasn't and he now saw her, a younger impression of himself. He knew what would happen to her if not cared for and he couldn't trust her soul to another for he knew everything was his fault. He would never let her out of his sight.
"Sleep well, Miss Granger." He whispered, turning his heal as he left her side.
All that now echoed throughout the wing was a dry sob coming from the newly inhabited bed.