There are so many questions running through my mind. So many thoughts circling my brain that it's hard to focus on anything else. I lie here in his bed, listening to his deep breaths, slow and steady, beautiful in their grace.
I can hear footsteps walk up to the door and stop. Damon listening in. Listening for anything of interest. Once he determines that there is nothing going on, he continues to his room, but I'm sure he knows I'm awake. How can I not be?
I keep running through what Isobel said about me, about Stefan. She asked if I had thought about being a vampire, about whether or not I would give up my humanity for him. I will get very old. I will die whereas Stefan will never get old. He will never die. It's hard to love someone forever when you don't have forever to give.
I know Stefan would never turn me, never even consider it. I can't see him ever getting so desperate to keep me that he would kill me to do it. And what of Damon? Damon has no problem killing anyone. But me? Would he kill me to keep me? I didn't know the answer to that. Isobel said he was in love with me, but love to Damon didn't mean the same thing it meant to Stefan. To Stefan, it was about being there, about sacrificing what he wanted to give me what I needed. To Damon, love meant something else entirely. Love was about possession, about lust, about wanting something so much you'd kill a handful of people and then some to get it. He was the type to want something with all of his being and then not. Stefan was safe. Damon was a hand grenade, and I would only be something he'd crush under his heel while he ran towards Katherine.
Katherine.
That little bitch. How do you hate someone you never even knew, never even met? She left a path of collateral damage from here to whatever hell she surfaced from, leaving two broken hearted little boys to figure it out for themselves. Her love was a curse. Everything she touched turned to shit.
Stefan stirred next to me, turning to his side and wrapping his arm around my waist in the process. A smile graced his lips, making me reach out my hand to stroke his cheek. It was then that I knew what I wanted.
I could never give him up.