Welcome to my wonderful world of joy! Let me first thank you for taking the time to read this (My psychologist says it should help with my therapy...) Please R&R! Don't worry, I realize I'm crazy... ''
-Baka-sensei
The Gooseberry Bush Chronicles
Episode 1
Naruto sighed as he looked up at the form of his rival soaring through the trees ahead of him. Always ahead of him. Gods! Would he never be in the lead? Would he always have to follow behind as the cold, hard eyes of hatred bored into his back from all the villagers and everyone wanted him dead and... OH GOD WHY! Naruto couldn't bear it anymore. The sadness and sorrow... SADNESSANDSORROW!
While he was thinking all this, he lost his footing and fell down to the cold, hard ground of the forest floor. He scraped his knee. His widdle knee! Ohh the pain... Naruto burst into tears of despair.
"What's your problem...dobe," the cold unfeeling voice of Sasuke ripped into his prone form.
"My...PROBLEM?!" Naruto shrieked as more tears rained down his face, "My PROBLEM is that I have a FUCKING DEMON FO...!"
"Shh!!" Naruto was cut off as their extremely delicious sensei hopped down from the foliage. "You know that's supposed to be a freakin' SECRET! SECRET! As in no one else should know about it!" Kakashi's face screamed of promised anguish, but suddenly changed as he pulled out his book.
His eye curved into a happy upward-crescent that seemed to say, "Look! I have more acting ability in my RIGHT EYE than Keanu Reeves has in his entire body!" With a muttered "tralala!" he skipped off to enjoy his perverted novel behind a gooseberry bush. Naruto sniffled.
"Naruto..." Sasuke's face suddenly softened, "I... I know how you feel. The pain... THE UTTER DESPAIRING LONLIENESS!! IT EATS AWAY AT YOUR HEART UNTIL... Oh, God... Naruto, would you hold me?"
The two boys clung to each other and began to weep desperately.
"What's going on?" Sakura asked, popping in with her PINKNESS OF EVIL and annoying the shit out of everyone. Suddenly, Kakashi dashed back from behind the gooseberry bush.
"Quiet!" he whispered harshly. "Did you hear that?" All four strained their ears, and a small noise sounded into the muffled silence of undergrowth. Sasuke's face went pale... if it was possible for his face to get paler than it was before.
"No..." he muttered, clinging to Naruto harder. Naruto broke out into a cold sweat.
"It can't be... that sounded like..." Naruto gasped.
"Yes..." Kakashi said. "It sounded almost exactly like the mating song of a miniature polka-dotted chupacabra."
"That can only mean one thing..." Sasuke said.
Owari
P.S. In a completely unrelated coincidence, Sakura was sucked into the engine of a commercial air-liner. Her remains were scattered across the now cursed state of Texas... damn red-necks...