Like about 99.9% of the fics I write, I had no idea where this was going when I started it. I just wanted to write Kurt as a stripper/dominatrix. I like Kurt in a corset, okay? And Sherlock made me kind of obsessed with riding crops. But, as I say, I didn't know where this random AU was going, which is probably why it's so long.

This is also like my millionth fic involving some form of spanking. Make of that what you will. Oh, and if anyone is wondering, the song Kurt performs in this fic is 'Milk and Honey' by Audra Mae. I've never actually heard the original, but I have a totally eargasmic cover by Jonathan Groff on my iTunes, so... yeah. Youtube it, if you want.

Anyway, reviews would be simply swell, so chuck some at me.

And I don't own Glee. I'm just making the characters have sex in an alternative universe for the entertainment or myself and others.

Birthday Boy

"Really, this is my birthday present? Being brought to a strip club?"

"Blainers, quit being such a prude. I'm just treating my best bud to a night out. Everything's on me."

"Yes, that's very nice of you, Sebastian. But a strip club? Not exactly the classy, subdued 25th I was hoping for."

"Oh, quit your bitching, grandma. As your bestest friend in the whole wide world it is my duty to make sure that you enjoy yourself, whether you want to or not."

"Yeah, remind me again why you of all people are my best friend?"

"Charming as ever. And it's because we've known each other our entire lives, our uncaring, homophobic fathers are business partners, our wine-sodden, adulterous mothers are drinking buddies, your big brother is fucking my big sister and, in any sane world, I'd be fucking you. But, since you insist on being such a born-again virgin, I settled for just being your bestie. Now stop asking stupid questions, Blaine. I want to get us some good seats."

Sebastian led me to a table right on the edge of the stage. No one was performing yet, but a lot of men and even a few women were trying to sit as close to the stage as possible, looking excited. If you ignored the fact that this was a strip club, the place actually looked rather nice. It was called Sapphire, and everything was black and deep red, lit with candles and white lights. Like a Victorian brothel.

"I seriously cannot believe you brought me here, Seb. I didn't even know they had gaystrip clubs."

"And there's your entire sexual knowledge summed up in one sentence."

He snapped his fingers at a scantily clad waitress and ordered us a bottle of the most expensive champagne they had. I expected nothing less from him. Sebastian loved to throw his (well, his father's) money around like it was no object.

"This isn't technically a strip club anyway, Blainers. It's burlesque. That's why there are women here and why the place looks so... Moulin Rouge. What's-his-name told me about it, you know, Puckerman. That hot pool cleaner I screw when I get bored."

Sebastian had a lot of guys that he screwed when he got bored. In all the time I'd known him he'd never once had a boyfriend, but he was never without a fuck-buddy.

"Puckerman said that Sapphire has this one dancer that everyone goes crazy for, hottest little twink he'd ever seen, apparently. And, according to Puckerman, this dancer isn't just a dancer, if you catch my drift."

"...no, I don't. What are you talking about?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes at me. "Oh, for God's sake, Blainers, it's like talking to a nun. I mean that if you can afford it this guy will do more than just give you a private dance. Apparently he's a full-blown dominatrix. You know what a dominatrix is, right? Or do I have to draw you a fucking diagram?"

"No, no, I get it. So let me get this straight. Not only have you brought me to a strip club, but you've brought to me to one that has working prostitutes in it? Such a classy birthday present, Sebastian, really."

"Oh, shut up, Mother Superior. Don't act like you're not interested. I know all your frigid little prudes always turn out to be kinky fuckers in the sack. Play your cards right and I may even buy you someone pretty. Lord knows you could do with a good lay. Although it's telling that the only way you could ever get some is by paying for it."

"You're hilarious."

Suddenly the lights were lowered and the chatter died down. As uncomfortable as I was, I couldn't help but get a little bit excited. An unseen announcer suddenly spoke from the speakers.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen – and especially the gentlemen – it is time for tonight's headline act. The star of the Sapphire, the jewel in our crown, that devilish little angel you all came to see, it's Cherub Angelique!"

The live band started to play as the crowd applauded and cheered. This had to be the popular dancer that Sebastian was talking about. The curtain was lifted and spotlight landed on a man wearing a beautifully fitted black suit, trimmed with glittering diamante, and very high heels. In his gloved hand was what looked like a riding crop, and in the other was a bedazzled microphone, which he lifted to his mouth as he slowly swayed his slim hips in time to the music.

"Good evening, New York City. Tell me, darlings; have you been bad?"

The audience cheered and whooped.

"Have you been naughty?"

More cheering and whooping.

"Have you been," He turned on the spot, cracking the riding crop as he did. "Wicked?"

The audience cheered louder than ever, and I understood why. Cherub Angelique was absolutely gorgeous. I got why his stage name was so fixated on angels, because he really did look like one. His eyes were so bright, somewhere between blue and green. His skin looked so soft and pale and flawless. His brown hair was perfectly coiffed, but had an element of the debauched about it, like someone had just been running their fingers through it. He looked effeminate, but in a strong way, with his pointed nose and sharp jaw line. His sexy smirk and arched eyebrow showed that he knew he was the star, that the audience were hanging on his every word and pretty much worshipping him. And his voice... it was like nothing I'd ever heard before, velvety and high but husky and alluring all at the same time.

"Oh, you have, have you? That's what I like to hear. Have you missed me, dear audience?" He paused for a second while everyone yelled. "Aww, your Cherub has missed you too."

Two other men came onto the stage, both shirtless and impossibly handsome. One was blonde with a really big mouth and the other was slim and Asian. Cherub handed his microphone to one guy and his riding crop to the other, and then started to slowly take off the jacket of his suit, moving sensually along to the music as he did. It was impossible to look away. He threw the jacket aside and pulled off his tie, slipping it between his fingers before holding it between his teeth. He then held onto his pants and pulled upwards, tearing them clean off and making the audience howl as he chucked the material aside with a flourish.

He was now in just fishnet stockings, suspenders, lacy panties, high heels and a white shirt – the sexiest thing I had ever seen. But it only got sexier. Cherub strutted to the front of the stage, taking the tie out of his mouth and throwing it into the audience. The guy who caught it looked like all his Christmases had come at once. Cherub slowly, teasingly danced to the soulful, jazzy music, rolling his hips in the most obscene way. Suddenly he ripped his shirt open and the audience let out another roar. With the shirt gone he was now in a black satin corset and long black gloves that reached over his elbows. With all the black his skin looked even paler, glowing in the spotlight, and I could actually see the outline of his cock through his lacy black panties. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

He turned on his heel and went back to the two shirtless men, taking his riding crop and microphone back. A few more shirtless men came on stage, along with two women who weren't wearing very much. They'd brought chairs with them. Cherub took one and straddled it, those long fishnet-clad legs spread. And then suddenly he was singing. Oh God, and I thought he voice when he was just talking was hot...

"If I do hate when you say goodnight, it's 'cause I get so lonely, without you..."

He grinded down into the chair as he sang, practically riding it, as the other dancers moved around him, occasionally touching and caressing him. It was all so sexy it was almost painful.

"And if you would kiss me you'd know my skin tastes like milk and honey... oh honey, just in case you'd care to know..."

He moved on the chair, lying across it and arching his back. One of the male dancers pulled him up by the arm and soon they were grinding up against each other. Then Cherub was with another male dancer, caressing his abs with the tip of the riding crop. Then the two female dancers were either side of him, slipping their hands over his thighs and his corset covered chest as he rolled his hips and sang.

The whole song was just mind-blowingly hot. I actually felt breathless. Cherub got down on his hands and knees and crawled like a cat to the front of the stage, still singing as he knelt on his arm and lifted one leg right over his head. Wow. He turned around, shaking his ass into the audience, before bending over backwards all the way until he was looking into the crowd upside down. And then he caught my eye and held my gaze for so long that I was scared to blink. His eyes sparkled in the spotlight, so impossibly beautiful that I'm sure my heart skipped a beat. It felt like he was directing every word of the song to me.

"And I can be your lover... but he didn't know the best part so I said... come a little bit closer... and I whispered... in his ear... my skin tastes like milk and honey... oh honey, I just thought you care to know..."

He winked at me – actually winked – before standing up and singing the rest of the song, sinfully shaking his hips and cracking his riding crop at the other dancers until the song ended and the club exploded with cheering and applause.

"Puckerman was right," Sebastian said over the noise. "This guy is smoking hot."

The other dancers stayed in their frozen poses, but Cherub stepped to the front of the stage, speaking into the bedazzled microphone again.

"Thank you, darling audience, thank you. Your Cherub loves you too. Until the next time, sweethearts. And remember; stay bad, stay naughty and stay wicked."

With a final crack of the riding crop, the curtain fell to the sound of riotous applause. When I finally managed to drag my eyes away from the stage I noticed that Sebastian was smirking at me as he sipped his champagne.

"Somebody's in love. Not quite so uptight about your present now, are you?"

I hoped that the dim lighting would hide my blush. "It was... it was... good."

Sebastian scoffed. "Good? Blainers, you were practically drooling. When he winked at you I thought you were going to come in your pants. Or ask him to marry you."

Oh great, now I was blushing even harder. Sebastian emptied his glass and stood up.

"Sit tight, short stack. Have a drink, relax and enjoy your birthday. I'll be right back."

He rushed off somewhere, weaving through the crowd as some more dancers came on stage. They weren't nearly as hot as Cherub, so I sat back and drank some champagne, Cherub's whole performance playing back in my head. I had never seen someone so beautiful in real life before, someone so otherworldly, so perfect. And I certainly never thought that that beautiful person would turn out to be a performing dominatrix. Just my luck. I was onto my second glass of overpriced bubbly when Sebastian finally came back, but when I looked up I nearly choked.

"A little birdy tells me it's your birthday."

All I could do was nod. Cherub Angelique was standing right in front of me, wearing a violet silk dressing gown over what was clearly his performance costume – he was still holding his riding crop and everything, and he was toweringly tall in those high heels. Sebastian stood grinning smugly just beside him.

"Yeah, this is the birthday boy alright. If he wasn't so speechless right now he'd tell you his name is Blaine Anderson and he's a huge fan of your work."

Cherub smiled brilliantly. "How lovely. Well, Mr. Anderson, since you're such a huge fan why don't you follow me so I can give you a little birthday present?"

"I, erm... okay."

Of course I was stuttering like a fool. I couldn't be helped. Looking at him was like looking into a blinding light, so it made sense that my brain had stopped working. Sebastian gave me a rather cocky you're welcome kind of look as I stood up and followed Cherub on shaky legs. He led me towards the back of the club, smiling sweetly at all his admirers until we got to a door marked 'Private'.

Once through it, we went up a flight of stairs and into a spacious room. When he shut the door behind us the sounds of the club downstairs disappeared, so this room must have been soundproofed. It was a well-lit bedroom of sorts, with a luxurious looking king sized bed with all kinds of restraints attached to the headboard. On a table was a glass bowl full of condoms, a few bottles of lube, a set of handcuffs, a blindfold, a ball gag, and an assortment of sex toys. Not going to lie, my erection was already straining in my jeans.

"Sit."

I sat down on the edge of the bed immediately. His soft, high voice had a real edge to it that was impossible to disobey. He put his riding crop on the table and stood in front of me, arms folded, looking me up and down.

"So, birthday boy, what do you like?"

"W-what do you mean?"

"Your charming friend downstairs got me for you for the whole evening which, I assure you, wasn't cheap. We should spend that time wisely, don't you think? So what are you into, Mr. Anderson?"

I mouthed wordlessly, unable to think of anything. Every little thing about Cherub that just rendered me speechless. I wasn't sure what I wanted – everything, maybe. Just being in the same room as him felt like more than enough. He smirked at me, arching an eyebrow as I blushed and stuttered and made a complete idiot of myself, and slipped his silk dressing gown off, throwing it on a nearby chair. God, he was impossibly gorgeous in that corset, his legs looks so sexy in those stockings, and the bulge in those lacy black panties was huge. Suddenly he was straddling me, his arms draped over my shoulders and his lips ghosting over my ear as he whispered.

"Have you been bad, birthday boy?"

After a second's pause, I nodded.

"Have you been naughty?"

I nodded again, already feeling breathless.

"Have you been wicked?"

I nodded quickly, my heart pounding.

"Do you need punishing? Does the birthday boy need to be taught a lesson?"

"Oh God, yes," I gasped.

Very abruptly he was standing up again, hands on his hips and his beautiful blue-green eyes narrowed, that commending edge back in his velvety voice.

"That's oh God, yes, Master to you."

I shivered. "Yes, Master."

"Strip for me."

I stood up and quickly did I was told, letting my clothes fall carelessly to the floor in my haste to get undressed. He didn't look away from me for a single second, and once I was completely naked in front of him his eyes racked over my body slowly, taking in every little detail until I started to feel a little self-conscious. I haven't exactly got the best body in the world. I'm short and kind of hairy and have to work out a lot to stop from looking too scrawny. But he just smirked and said "Well, aren't you pretty? And so obedient too, I do like that in a man. Turn around and get on the bed, on your hands and knees."

I did as I was told quickly, my ass on display for him. I felt his gloved hands on my ass cheeks, squeezing then and spreading them apart.

"My, my, birthday boy, you have a spectacular ass. I could just eat this tight little tush right up. Tell me, Mr. Anderson, how old are you tonight?"

"Twenty-five, Master."

He chuckled quietly. "Oh, then this will be fun. You've been a naughty little birthday boy, haven't you?"

"Yes, Master."

"You need to be punished. I think a good flogging ought to do it, don't you?"

"Y-yes, Master."

"And you're going to be a good little bitch and count every spank for me, one for each year, aren't you?"

"Yes, Master."

"Good boy."

My cock was already leaking pre-come and we hadn't even done anything yet. His gloved hands were off my ass, and then suddenly crack. I cried out in shock as I felt the riding crop whip me, the skin already burning.

"I don't hear any counting."

I cleared my throat and let out a shaky "...one."

Crack,

"...t-two!"

Crack.

"Ahh... three!"

Crack. Crack. Crack. It seemed to go on forever. My skin felt red raw but every hit was harder than the last. By the time I choked out a desperate "Twenty-f-f-five!" I was clinging to the bed sheets, tears dripping down my face and my cock harder than ever. My arms were shaking with the effort of holding myself up. I turned my head slightly as saw him peeling off his long black gloves, revealing soft, pale, manicured hands. I hissed when I felt those hands cup my sore ass cheeks, massaging them gently. That stinging pain went straight to my dick.

"You took that punishment like such a good boy. And good birthday boys deserve a little reward."

I heard him walk over to the table and back again, and the sound of a bottle cap opening. I shuddered as I felt cool liquid being poured down my ass crack and smeared over my hole with two fingers. And then it got amazing. He spread my tender cheeks apart and dragged his tongue over my hole, lapping wetly until the tip of his tongue breeched the tight ring of muscles. Oh God, oh God, oh God. He really pushed his face into my ass, lapping hard at my hole, one hand holding onto my hip and the other coming around and holding tightly into the base of my cock, stopping me from coming even though I was just dying to. Oh fuck, he was pretty much fucking me with his tongue and it felt incredible. I couldn't hold back my disappointed whimper when he stopped.

"Turn around and lie down on your back for me."

I did as I was told, wincing when my burning ass cheeks touched the bed. Cherub's eyes lingered for a second on my hard on, leaking pre-come all over my stomach, before he crawled on top of me and straddled my chest. He lifted my arms up over my head and attached each wrist to the headboard with the restraints, tight enough so that I couldn't move but not tight enough to cut off the circulation. He moved back until he was between my legs, smirking at me.

"Here's the plan, birthday boy. I'm going to fuck you. And then I'm going to ride you. And then maybe after that I might think about letting you come. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

That sounded like fucking torture. "Yes, Master."

He got up and went over to the table, getting some condoms, a cock ring and a butt plug, and set them down on the bed just beside me. He kicked off his heels, and I had to raise my head a little awkwardly to watch as he started to unhook his corset from the front, slowly revealing the creamy, toned, hairless chest underneath. He was seriously the most stunning man I had ever seen. Once the corset was gone he unclasped his stockings and took off the suspender belt, before finally removing his lacy panties, leaving him in nothing but fishnet stockings. Holy hell, his cock was beautiful... and enormous. It was long and thick and solid as a rock, absolutely mouth-watering.

He crawled back on the bed, kneeling between my spread legs. My whole body was trembling with anticipation. He picked up the cock ring and slipped it onto my erection, and then grabbed the bottle of lube, slicking up his fingers. My hole was already relaxed from his tongue, so he was able to slip two fingers into me easily, twisting them and scissoring them to stretch me out. He added a third finger, curling them until they rubbed against my prostate and made me cry out, arched against the bed and pulling at the restraints. All he did was smirk, teasing that sweet spot again until I felt like I was going insane.

"Ready for me, birthday boy?"

"Yes, oh fuck, yes, Master!"

I clenched uncomfortably around nothing once he removed his fingers, and raised my head to watch as he unrolled a condom onto his dick and slicked himself up with more lube. He hooked his hands around the back of my knees, lifting my legs and spreading them wide, and pushed himself into me in one swift movement, both of us groaning. Oh God, he was so thick. I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt this incredibly full.

He started to move straight away, thrusting hard and fast until the bed was creaking under us. He'd angled himself just right to hit my prostate with every thrust, making me fall apart in no time at all. If it wasn't for that damn cock ring I probably would have blown my load immediately. And the noises he was making... oh my God, they were the sexiest thing I'd ever heard and only served to turn me on even more. He was really fucking me into the mattress, slamming into me for what felt like forever. Sweat was stinging my eyes and my wrists felt sore in the restraints, but I never wanted any of this to end. Finally he came, pounding into me hard as he rode out his orgasm, arching his back beautifully until he was completely spent.

He collapsed on top of me, his face against my sweaty chest as he got his breath back, before he pulled out of me and threw the used condom away. A copious amount of pre-come was smeared all over my stomach, and I was so hard it was almost painful. It only got more unbearable when he pushed the butt plug into my open, oversensitive hole. It wasn't quite as big as his cock, but it still made me feel so full.

"It's not over yet, Mr. Anderson."

He held onto the base of my cock, twisting the cock ring until I hissed with pleasure and agony.

"I'm going to take this off. And then I'm going to ride this gorgeous dick of yours. And you're going to be a good little bitch and not come until I say so, understand?"

"Yes – yes, M-Master."

"Good boy."

He very slowly pulled the cock ring off, tugging my balls with his other hand. I had to take a lot of deep breaths to stop myself from coming. He unrolled a condom onto me and knelt over my hips, before grabbing a bottle of lube. He slicked his fingers up again and reached behind him, rolling his hips back as he quickly stretched himself out. God, it was so incredible to watch. He smeared the rest of the lube on my cock, before he lowered himself down onto me until he was completely impaled. Oh God, oh God, oh my fucking God, he was so damn tight.

He lifted himself until only the tip of my cock was inside him and then dropped back down, slamming down against me and making us both moan. He placed his hands on my chest to brace himself, pinching and twisting my nipples between his fingers as he slammed himself down onto me again and again, rocking back and forth until the headboard banged against the wall. And with every thrust the butt plug moved inside me, touching my prostate and making this feel even better.

He looked so fucking beautiful on top of me, throwing his head back as he rode me faster and harder. I bucked my hips upwards to meet him, wishing more than anything that I wasn't restrained, that I could hold onto his hips to tight it left bruises, flip him over and fuck him hard, bury myself in that perfect ass until we both came. My hands balled into fists above my head, my fingernails digging into my palms. I wished that I could just touch him.

Just when I thought I couldn't possibly hang on any longer, he started to tug on his own dripping cock, riding me hard and erratic.

"Do you want to come, birthday boy?"

"Yes-yes-yes, oh God, yes, Master! Please, Master!"

"Come for me... oh God, fucking come for me, Blaine!"

I didn't need to be told twice. Just seconds later I was coming harder than I had ever done before, pulling against the restraints until they cut into my wrists, lights popping in front of my eyes as I screamed. Soon afterwards Cherub was coming too, throwing his head back with a delicious cry as he spurted all over his hand and my chest.

He collapsed against me once more, both of us sweaty and breathless and sated. His head was right in the crook of my neck, his breath tickling my skin. Suddenly he lifted his head and caught my lips in a surprising kiss. It was surprising because it was the first time he'd kissed me all night, and it wasn't at all like the sort of kiss I expected. This was slow and soft and sensual, his tongue gently caressing mine. It wasn't strictly a sexy kiss. In fact, it was verging on meaningful. It was exactly how I had wanted to kiss him from the moment I saw him up on that stage. Just as I was losing myself in his magical kiss, suddenly he pulled away and got off me, looking ever so slightly flustered.

"Sorry, I... I don't know why I did that. I don't usually, er... kiss clients, I..."

He got rid of the other used condom, carefully pulled the butt plug out of me, and untied my wrists quickly, keeping his eyes away from mine the whole time. Then he rushed off the bed and put his dressing gown back on. He seemed strangely embarrassed all of a sudden, that graceful confidence from earlier gone. I didn't get it.

"Are you okay?" I asked cautiously.

He was collecting up the sex toys and lube, still avoiding my gaze, and spoke far too quickly.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. You should get dressed and be on your way now. Don't worry about the money, Mr. Anderson. Your friend downstairs already paid me."

I got up slowly – my ass felt sore, my legs were shaky and my wrists hard red marks all the way around them – and started to clean myself up and get dressed, a million questions running through my head. Why did he suddenly seem so nervous? Why had he kissed me when apparently he didn't kiss his clients? Why was he back to calling me 'Mr. Anderson' when he'd called me by my first name just a few minutes ago?

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked, halfway through buttoning up my shirt. "You seem a little anxious."

He sat on the edge of the armchair, arms folded and legs crossed. "I told you, Mr. Anderson. I'm fine, really."

When I looked at him now, he didn't seem quite so angelic and sexy and otherworldly. He was still beautiful, but more fragile and delicate – not a stripper or a dominatrix, just a young man.

"What's your name?"

He looked up in surprise, both at the question and the fact that I was still here.

"Excuse me?"

"What's your name? Your real one, I mean."

He looked at me like I was crazy. "Why do you want to know?"

I shrugged, realising how stupid my question was. As if he would even tell me. I finished getting dressed as quickly as I could, checking my phone to see that Sebastian had texted me – hope your having a good time, Blainers. I want all the juicy details tomorrow. Don't say I never get you anything! – and I was about to leave when Cherub suddenly stood up, speaking just as I reached for the doorknob.

"My name is Kurt. Kurt Hummel."

I turned and looked at him. He was actually blushing as he continued to speak.

"As a rule, I don't kiss my clients. It's far too intimate. I just dish out the recreational floggings and then send them on their way. But I noticed you while I was on stage." He smiled, his cheeks going even pinker. "I thought you were cute. And then your lecherous friend came to hired me for you as a birthday present, and I figured you be just like all the other guys that have ever paid for my services. But you're not. The way you look at me... like you've never seen anyone so perfect, like I'm not a prostitute at all. I don't get that very often... or at all. I didn't mean to kiss you, but I just couldn't help myself."

I looked at him, not at Cherub Angelique the dominatrix, but at Kurt Hummel, the beautiful man who thought I was cute and wanted to kiss me. They were like two completely different people who just happened to look the same, and it was the second guy that kind of fascinated me.

"Do you want to maybe get coffee with me some time?"

The words were out of my mouth before I realised it. Kurt scoffed.

"You're actually asking me out? Like, on a date?"

"Well... yeah."

The look on his face was completely incredulous. "In my line of work dating opportunities are pretty thin on the ground, what with all the... selling my body for a living, and whatnot. Normal guys don't usually want to date a hooker."

I smiled at him and shrugged. "I guess I'm not a normal guy then."

He snorted and shook his head like he couldn't believe this was happening, before walking over to me and cupping my face, leaning down to kiss me very softly on the lips.

"You are nicest, cutest guy I have ever spanked. We're probably both going to live to regret this someday, but... I guess it's a date. It's been a really, really long time since I went on one of those, but I'll make sure to leave my riding crop at home."

We both laughed as he rested his forehead against mine and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him like I'd wanted to do all night.

"Oh and happy birthday, Blaine."

"Thanks, Kurt. It certainly has been."

Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers.

xxx