Captain Underpants 11

by Brockster550

George, Harold and Em have done it now. Their time-traveling made them all sleepy, and to miss tests and exams. Then they time travel again, to do those, and meet their yesterday counterparts. But worst of all, they've come across the Turbo Toilet 2000 seeking vengeance. Can George, Harold, Em and their yesterday twins stop the porcelain predator? Read the story to look for answers

Captain Underpants 11: The Tyrannical Retaliation Of The Turbo Toilet 2000

fanfic by Brockster550

The fanfic is all I own, no copyright intended

Ch. 1

George, Harold and Emily

This is George Beard, Harold Hutchins and Emily Krupp. George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flat top. Harold is the one on the right with the t-shirt and the bad haircut. Emily is the only girl in the middle with shoulder-length blonde hair kept straight, a polka dot blouse and a red overall skirt. Remember that now.

If you're confused about what's going on, there's no need to worry. They're confused as well. As you can see, George, Harold, Em (the nickname George and Harold agreed to give Emily) and Captain Underpants had just experienced an epic journey that started in the dinosaur age... and ended at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, but forty years into the future. Now, thanks to Melvin Sneedly (the tattle-tale poindexter, who is also the school brainiac) and his glow-in-the-dark, time-traveling Robo-Squid Suit, they were all hurtling backwards in time. Back to a long, long, long time ago to that dull, old-fashioned age known as the present.

Oh yeah, I just remembered something else. Traveling with them were three purple-and-orange-speckled eggs. The eggs were laid by their pterodactyl, Crackers, and their bionic hamster, Sulu. The two pets owned by George, Harold and Em had just saved the planet and created all life as we know it, as shown in the climax of the last book. See? Now that wasn't confusing, was it? Melvin's glow-in-the-dark, time-traveling Robo-Squid suit whizzed through time in a dazzling array of electrified eye candy as forty years sped by, in reverse. Then all of a sudden, everything stopped suddenly, with George, Harold, Em and Captain Underpants looking around.

"Hey," said Harold. "We're still at the school!"

"That's right," said Melvin. "Only it's forty years and one day earlier!"

"Hey, look," said George, pointing at the school. "There's Tippy and his Robo-Pants."

"Not again," Harold moaned. "We've already encountered him enough to last us a lifetime!"

"Relax," said Melvin as a flash of green light shot out of the library window. "You're looking at something that happened yesterday, remember?"

"Oh, yeah," said Em. "We were in the Purple Potty!"

"And Tippy is about to follow us back to the dinosaur age!" said George. "He should be leaving any minute now!"

Suddenly, a crackling blue light shot out of the Robo-Pants, and before you could say 'convoluted plotline,' it disappeared into the morning foggy haze.

"Wait a minute," said Harold. "Won't the cops still be looking for him?"

"Yeah," said Em. "He is, after all, a fugitive!"

"Nope!" stated Melvin. "That Tippy was put into solitary confinement! The Tippy in the Robo-Pants is the future version of himself!"

"How do you know that?" asked George.

"I have my sources," Melvin assumed. "But you guys will be fine!"

"Wow," said Harold. "This is a surprise. Melvin Sneedly rescued us!"

"But why?" asked George suspiciously. "You always hated us!"

"I have my reasons," said Melvin. "I have my reasons!"

And indeed, Melvin did have his reasons. One whole year's worth of reasons. But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story...

Ch. 2

Don't You Hate It When A Kickball Hits Uranus?

Meanwhile, somewhere in the deepest, darkest reaches of our solar system, a red rubber kickball was zooming through space. None of Earth's top scientists could explain where it had come from, or why it was racing toward Uranus. What the scientists didn't know was that the kickball had been on it's present course for the last five and a half books. That was because in the fifth book, a robot had been playing kickball and kicked the ball with such force that it left Earth's atmosphere. The scientists had no explanation because they didn't read the fifth book, and there was nothing that could stop the kickball.

The kickball sped closer and closer to a small cluster of porcelain monstrosities that were laying together in a heap on the icy surface of the ridiculously named planet. What was standing behind them, on guard, was a robotic sentinel called the Incredible Robo-Plunger. Faster and faster the kickball whizzed toward them, until finally...

KA-BLOINK!

The force of the red, rubber ball knocked the head right off of the Incredible Robo-Plunger. The decapitated defender jutted forward slightly, as Photo-Atomic Trans-Somgobulating Yectofantriplutoniczanziptomistic juice drizzled from it's mangled neck hole and oozed slowly downward into the gaping mouth of the Turbo Toilet 2000.

This proved to be an unfortunate mishap, because as any robotics engineer will tell you, it's very important that you keep Photo-Atomic Trans-Somgobulating Yectofantriplutoniczanziptomistic juice as far away from evil robots as possible. You certainly don't want to get even one drop of it into their mouths, because this will make them come to life (or revive if they've been disabled), and this will give them an unquenchable appetite for destruction, and that's exactly what happened that bleak night on the terribly gassy surface of Uranus. The Turbo Toilet 2000's bulbous, bloodshot eyes smacked open and wobbled around wildly. His massive left arm creaked up and rubbed the painful, throbbing side of his porcelain lid.

"Where the heck am I?" he said, looking around at his fallen allies.

Clumsily, he squeaked to his feet, dusted himself off, and beheld the headless mess that was once the Incredible Robo-Plunger. Then it all came back to him. The battle. The humiliation. The defeat. It didn't take long for the Turbo Toilet 2000 to piece everything together, everything that had brought him and his army of talking toilets to this frozen, frustrating fate.

"I have no choice but to retaliate," said the angry porcelain villain through clenched, razor-sharp teeth. "My army of talking toilets will be avenged!"

Luckily for him, he was a robot, so he knew a thing or two about mechanical engineering. It didn't take him very long to disassemble the Incredible Robo-Plunger, rearrange the pieces, and create a flying rocket scooter from the recycled parts of his arch-enemy. Now, the next thing was to travel the long journey from Uranus back to Earth, a voyage that would take at least one whole chapter to complete. Once he arrived back on Earth, the Turbo Toilet 2000 would wage a war against the good people of Earth. A war that would threaten the very foundation of our planet. But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story...

Ch. 3

Melvin's Moment Of Mirth

Remember back in chapter 1, where we found out that Melvin had a whole year's worth of reasons as to why he needed to bring George, Harold, Em and Captain Underpants back to the present? Well, in case you were wondering what happened during that year, here's what happened during that year: Immediately after our heroes disappeared back to the dinosaur age for their prehistoric journey, the cops started looking for George, Harold, Em and Principal Krupp. Missing posters appeared in post offices across America, but there was no success in finding them.

After a while of searching, everybody came to the conclusion that they were kidnapped by Tippy Tinkletrousers in his Robo-Pants, and had taken them to who-knows-where, so the cops had no choice but to give up the search. This was sad news for the residents of Piqua, Ohio, especially for George's parents, Harold's parents, and even Em's parents. Even the students of Jerome Horwitz Elementary School were saddened because of the comic books George, Harold and Em created, and they thought all that would now be history.

Melvin, on the other hand, was happy about George and Harold's disappearance, while he was sad about Em's (or Emily is what he and Principal Krupp called her).

'At least,' Melvin thought. 'There won't be any more of those despicable comic books. I can conduct all of these experiments peacefully.'

Unfortunately, that happiness would only last for about two weeks, because, as mentioned before... you-know-who showed up.

Ch. 4

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Flushed

The Turbo Toilet 2000 entered Earth's atmosphere in a blazing fireball from the sky. His rocket scooter roared over the rooftops of the small Ohio town.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!" bellowed the powerful porcelain predator.

Then came mass destruction. Buildings collapsed, city buses were thrown through skyscraper windows, fires raged out of control, chaos and devastation crippled through the town, sending residents running for their lives, and also annoying the heck out of one little boy.

Melvin was trying to get his work done in his bedroom laboratory when the attack began. He just needed one or two more hours of uninterrupted silence to get his experiment completed, but all that terrible ruckus was really getting on his nerves.

"HEY! I'm trying to WORK here, you idiot, now BE QUIET!" shouted Melvin as he poked his head out of his bedroom window.

As you can probably imagine, the Turbo Toilet 2000 didn't take too kindly to being dressed down in such a manner. So he swirled around and glared at Melvin with raging, hard-boiled eyeballs.

"Uh-oh!" Melvin gulped nervously.

Then the Turbo Toilet 2000 leaped out toward the tattle tale poindexter, who began running down the street, across the city, and into the darkened hallways of Jerome Horwitz Elementary School. Melvin ran upstairs and into Mr. Krupp's office to hide under the desk, while the Turbo Toilet 2000 searched through the classrooms to find him. Melvin knew he was in deep trouble, making him realize that he actually needed Captain Underpants, but the Waistband Warrior was nowhere to be found.

"Rats!" said Melvin. "If only I could... OUCH!"

Melvin's knee was pressing down on something sharp. Carefully, Melvin reached down and pulled the pointy little object out of his knee. It turned out to be a toenail, and not just any toenail. It was one of Mr. Krupp's thick, greasy, yellow toenails that he had clipped off the day before he had been whisked away on his journey back through time.

"Ewwww! What a slob!" said Melvin as he flicked the toenail away.

Then he thought of something. Melvin knew that Mr. Krupp was also Captain Underpants, and this also meant that Mr. Krupp's DNA must have some kind of super-powered element in it's makeup. If Melvin could somehow extract the super-powered element from Mr. Krupp's DNA, Melvin could, theoretically, transfer those superpowers to himself!

"Where's that toenail?" cried Melvin.

He desperately searched the mangy, orange carpet of Principal Krupp's office for that stinky toenail, digging into the carpet with his hands, while the sounds of carnage outside got louder and louder, which meant that the Turbo Toilet 2000 continued it's search for Melvin.

"Where the heck is that toenail?" Melvin cried desperately.

Finally, Mr. Krupp's office door slammed open, with the Turbo Toilet 2000 looking down at Melvin, grinning triumphantly.

"A-HA!" it shouted, grabbing Melvin by his foot and dragging him toward his razor-tooth filled mouth. "I'VE GOT YOU NOW, YOU ANNOYING LITTLE BRAT!"

"NOOOOOO," screamed Melvin. "I'M TOO GIFTED, TOO YOUNG, AND TOO TALENTED! I CAN'T... OUCH!"

In the process, Mr. Krupp's stinky toenail had found it's way, lodged into Melvin's pasty, freckled skin, and Melvin couldn't be any happier. Then, he quickly untied his shoe, slipped his foot out, and jumped out the window and slid down the flagpole, with the Turbo Toilet 2000 in hot pursuit.

Luckily, Melvin had a built-in DNA extractor attached to his watch. Upon inserting the toenail into the watch slot, Melvin started programming a complete extraction procedure as he was still being chased by the powerful porcelain predator. While Melvin still continued to run away, screaming, his watch started pulverizing and sonicating the toenail cells, removing the membrane lipids, proteins, and RNA, which also purified and isolated the single strand of Principal Krupp's DNA.

Upon reaching his bedroom, Melvin quickly fed the results into his Mecha-Computer, which identified the metal-organic, 'super-powered' substance and started replicating it in a saline gel solution that percolated slowly, which also oozed into a glass beaker.

"Come on, come on," said Melvin desperately. "Finish already, you dumb machine!"

At just that moment, the Turbo Toilet 2000 crashed right through his bedroom wall.

"Gotcha!" roared the raging lavatory as he scooped Melvin into his gigantic fist.

Then the Turbo Toilet 2000 began licking his chops, preparing to eat Melvin. In one desperate attempt to save himself, Melvin gulped down the green, glowing liquid from the beaker. Then, the Turbo Toilet 2000 popped Melvin into his mouth like a cocktail weenie and began chewing, but then realized Melvin was all tough and gristly. Then the Turbo Toilet 2000 tried the nearly impossible task of swallowing Melvin, which, inevitably forced him to spit Melvin out into his gigantic, metal hand. Melvin was all covered in mucus, and shockingly, he didn't have a single scratch on him, with the Turbo Toilet 2000 gawking at him.

"You are so immature!" said Melvin.

Ch. 5

Toned Down For Your Protection

Unfortunately, the fight that followed turned out to be so graphic and violent (especially for a children's book), I've decided to invite two special guests, so I can spare you the nightmares that you'd otherwise, being experiencing for weeks. The special guests are illustrator Timmy Swanson (age four) and his nana Gertrude (age seventy-one). I have asked Timmy (with his nana's permission, of course) to draw the action in a G-rated style. So, take it away Timmy and Nana!

"Thank you," said Nana. "Now, let's see what's happening here. Oh no, this is so horrible! It looks like a little boy is... Oh, no, I just can't say it, it's too inappropriate! Now this robot shaped like a... I don't want to say it, he is doing something so... dreadful! Oh, for crying out loud, this is just ridiculous. Never have I been so offended in all my life. I've had enough, just enough of this violence, stop that drawing right now, Timmy!"

Ch. 6

Everybody Loves Melvin

Once Melvin defeated the Turbo Toilet 2000, he was declared a hero. In fact, even the mayor held a big parade in Melvin's honor, with "Weird Al" Yankovic even writing a song about Melvin. Even the vice president sent a congratulatory letter to Melvin, praising him for his good deed. Melvin became known as the little, super-powered tattletale who saved the world.

"Finally," said Melvin ecstatically. "I'm getting the respect and recognition I deserve!"

Melvin was enjoying every moment of being a superhero... for a while, that is. He would do some good deeds such as stopping runaway trains, rescuing lost children, and saving citizens from burning buildings. If anybody was in trouble, all they needed to do was stick their heads out the window, or lift their heads towards the sky and cry out "YO! Big Melvin!"

Then Melvin would drop whatever he was doing and rush to the scene, and then save the day. It was nice and fun at first glance, then one day, it started getting bad. After a while, the citizens began abusing the system, and started requesting something that wasn't an emergency, like looking for a lost cell phone, a kid wanting help on a video game, or somebody asking for help to start a fire in their barbecue grill, and thus, wasting Melvin's precious time with scientific experiments and research. But the final straw came when Melvin was working on a synchrotron radiation experiment, using his homemade oscillating-field particle accelerator. He had spent eleven months on it, which was really paying off. The klystrons and electromagnets began to accelerate faster and faster through Melvin's homemade copper cyclone tubing, and thus, be able to prove that the first person on Earth would definitely prove the Higgs boson existence and solve the mystery of everything.

Upon hearing the cry for help, Melvin immediately shut down his experiment, resulting in the particle accelerator to overheat, and subsequently exploded and creating a hole in his bedroom floor that was forty feet deep. But Melvin knew that a citizen needed help, so he flew out toward the cry, tying his smoldering cape around his neck and flew to the scene of the emergency. It turned out to be a middle-aged woman who was screaming from her apartment window.

"YO! Big Melvin! HELP! HELP! It's an emergency!" screamed the woman.

"What is it? What's wrong?" asked Melvin desperately.

"Do these pants make me look fat?" asked the woman, looking at her rear in the mirror.

That did it, Melvin angrily hung the woman from a lamppost by the back of her pants. Ever since he became a superhero, Melvin never had any time for anything, no sleep, no privacy, not even time for researching for his experiments. So Melvin decided to quit, for the sake of his sanity, even though he knew getting out was going to be alot harder than getting in. So he decided to find a way to locate Captain Underpants and bring him back.

It turned out that Captain Underpants wasn't too hard to find. Melvin knew that George, Harold and Em were likely going to be with him, along with Sulu the Bionic Hamster.

"So, if I can find Sulu," Melvin concluded. "I should be able to find Captain Underpants!"

Melvin did put in a GPS on Sulu's robotic endoskeleton, and now, all he needed to do was run a simple scan on his computer for the GPS device. He didn't get any results at first, but managed it once he broadened his search that included all locations and all times. The last satellite-reported location was down by the schoolyard, thirty-nine years into the future.

"That was all worth the effort," Melvin sneered. "But bringing them back to the present is bound to be a bit more complicated!"

Ch. 7

Dark Foreshadows

Once he finished up, Melvin went into his garage and climbed into his glow-in-the-dark, time-traveling Robo-Squid suit. Quickly, he powered up the suit and began slinking and slithering toward the schoolyard, thus starting the long journey to bring George, Harold, Em and Captain Underpants back home where they belonged.

Once he was in the future, Melvin fetched George, Harold, Em and Captain Underpants (along with the eggs they were holding), back to the present time, where they belonged, where they had departed on their epic journey in our last book. George, Harold, Em and Captain Underpants had been through alot in the past few days, but now, it looked as though they had never left on any journey. Melvin was happy, since he knew the Turbo-Toilet 2000 wouldn't arrive for another two weeks, thus allowing his superhero thing to never become reality.

"Finally!" exclaimed Melvin. "Now I can enjoy following my destiny in peace and quiet!"

"But, you never explained why you brought us back." said George.

"Yeah, what gives?" asked Harold, while Em was getting suspicious.

"You'll find out soon enough," said Melvin with a foreboding chuckle. "In two weeks time, you'll find out!"

With that conclusion, Melvin unleashed a horrible, villainous laugh as his glow-in-the-dark Robo-Squid suit began to shake and buzz, and all too soon, he and his tentacled time machine disappeared into a ball of electrified light. George, Harold and Em knew that school hours were already in session, so Em turned toward Captain Underpants.

"Alright," Em started instructing. "Head up to my uncle's office, in the closet, he keeps several spare sets of clothes. Grab a set, put them on, once you do that, go to a water fountain and splash some water on your face."

"Aye, aye, ma'am!" said Captain Underpants.

So Captain Underpants did as he was told, and in no time, he was back to his Kruppy old self. George, Harold and Em walked into the school, where they saw the time on the overhead clock, which said: 9:10 AM. They walked to their lockers, where they each put an egg in them. Once they were done, they started walking to their homeroom, where their teacher, Ms. Ribble was walking out to close the door, and she spotted the three, unwilling truants.

"Well, congratulations, you three," said Ms. Ribble sarcastically. "You've just earned yourselves a detention after school, now get to your desks, or that will be two detentions."

George, Harold and Em complied and made their way to their desks. As the lessons progressed, George, Harold and Em realized that, with the time-traveling they've been going through, they couldn't get any or could only get very little sleep. They were starting to struggle with staying awake. Once school hours ended, the three friends walked to the detention room, where their teacher was waiting for them.

"This will teach you a lesson," said Ms. Ribble sneeringly. "You must be here for two hours, or you will be suspended!"

George, Harold and Em nodded in understanding, so their teacher left. George, Harold and Em started yawning, figuring that a little nap couldn't hurt, though they were surprised that Ms. Ribble reverted back to her original personality. Then they started taking their nap. Upon waking up, they saw that it was a quarter after five, so they went to their respective lockers to get the eggs Crackers laid and began walking home.

"Man, time travel is fairly tiring," said Harold. "Especially with Tippy having made sure that we couldn't get any sleep!"

"No kidding," said George. "Though that nap has had some partial effect."

"Hopefully, we're not this tired when two weeks have past," said Em. "I do wonder what will await us by that time."

"Let's just hope Melvin was wrong about that." said George.

"Although, he may be entirely truthful." said Harold.

"Hey, there's a newspaper article about Tippy," said Em as she picked up a newspaper. "It explains his former status as a fugitive!"

"Let's read it!" said George and Harold simultaneously.

"Okay," said Em as she started reading the article. "Tippy Tinkletrousers became a fugitive, due to his attempt to disguise himself as a prison official. Somehow, this allowed the mad professor to bust out. Later on, a prison guard noticed that he never returned to his cell, and Tippy was promptly declared a fugitive. After fifteen hours on the lam, he was recaptured and sent back to prison, where his sentence was extended from four years to eight years."

"So that Tippy we dealt with was a future version of himself after all!" said George.

"We won't have to worry about him anymore," said Harold. "He's been enough trouble as it is."

"Yeah," said Em as she tossed the newspaper into a nearby recycle bin. "Well, we'd better get home. I don't think I can eat any dinner."

"Me neither," said Harold. "That nap only bought us some time, but we really need a good night sleep."

"Yeah, pretty much," agreed George. "But, we'll need to get the eggs warmed up some first."

So the three friends continued walking back to their treehouse, though it was getting hard, due to not having gotten much sleep for the past thirty-six hours, because they spent like 90% of that time running from Tippy and his Robo-Pants. They finally made it to the treehouse, with George grabbing hold of the egg Em was holding, so she could climb up the ladder. Unknown to the three, Em's brother, Kipper (who was a tenth grader) happened to spot them from his bedroom window, and went to tell his and Em's parents (since they've been worried about their daughter). Likewise, George's parents and Harold's mom were also worried for their respective sons.

Upon making it inside, George, Harold and Em put the eggs on some pillows and brought out three desk lamps and aimed them at the eggs, to ensure that this would keep them warm, then the three friends collapsed onto their respective beanbag chairs.

"Saving the world is pretty exhausting," said George. "Now, time to relax."

"Yes," said Harold. "Whatever awaits us in two weeks, we need to sleep, and stay out of trouble. We can't risk getting detention, let alone anymore, as we already had one earlier."

"No need to worry," said Em. "How much more trouble could this cause us?"

Ch. 8

To Thine Own Self Be Truant

George, Harold and Em were able to get ten minutes of their second nap. That is, until what happened next.

"GEORGE! HAROLD! EMILY!" shouted five angry voices.

This resulted in George, Harold and Em jolting awake. The three friends staggered over to the window and looked out. They saw Em's parents, George's parents and Harold's mom. They were angry, angrier than they usually got.

"Krud!" said Em with worry.

"We're dead!" said George, terrified.

"My life is flashing before my eyes!" said Harold.

"Do you care to explain why you didn't even make it back home last night?" asked George's dad angrily. "We were worried that you might've been kidnapped or something when you didn't even return home. And the school called, explaining that you three were late for school. What do you have to say for yourselves?"

George, Harold and Em knew they couldn't hide the truth, so they began confessing.

"Well," said Harold. "Some crazy scientist looking for revenge chased us all through town yesterday afternoon, and into the night, in a giant robotic pair of pants, and we had to hide in some shrubs in front of an office building."

"Then we ended up traveling back in time to the dinosaur age," George explained. "We had to save the cavemen after teaching them how to defend themselves, we even had to run from dinosaurs. The crazed scientist wouldn't even let us sleep all that much."

"Then we traveled into the future," said Em. "Where we came across our future selves!"

"Very funny," said Harold's mom sarcastically. "Seeing that you three thought that skipping school to goof off all day was a good thing, you'll be doing chores."

"Now let's go, chop, chop!" said Em's dad.

The three had never seen their parents so angry. Em had never seen her father as angry as her uncle, which was a shock to her. So George, Harold and Em spent the next three hours or so doing chores, such as washing dishes, folding laundry, vacuuming their respective houses, tending gardens, and even dusting furniture. All this was nothing under normal conditions, but what was to come next will just make it worse. George, Harold and Em had never been so tired in their lives, it was a little after 9:00 PM when they finished. After saying good night to each other, the three limped back to their respective houses like zombies.

"Are you hungry?" Em's mom asked.

"Nah, but thanks." Em mumbled.

Em's parents were a bit surprised. Even Kipper was surprised, since he had never seen his little sister all tired, she always seemed to have alot of energy. Em just started upstairs to her bedroom, she was too tired to eat, take a bath, or get into her pajamas. In fact, she could only turn the light off and, without closing her door, she just collapsed on her bed and fell asleep instantly.

Half a minute later, the phone rang, and Kipper answered. It was George, and Kipper took the phone to Em.

"Emily, telephone. It's George." said Kipper.

Em struggled to grab the phone, but yet, somehow managed.

"Mmmffffff!" she mumbled, too tired to talk properly. "Iss Em spekig!"

"I just remembered," stated George. "We have test day tomorrow!"

"OH NO!" cried Em as her bloodshot eyes opened and sat up straight. "I forgot all about that!"

"Me, too!" said George. "I called Harold a minute ago to remind him, and he hadn't been able to answer properly, either."

"We're gonna be up all night, studying!" said Em.

"I know," said George. "But, it's the only way to pass the fourth grade."

So George, Harold and Em began studying, in spite of them being exceptionally tired. When the sun rose the next morning, they were still going over their spelling checklists. George was almost finished with his studying, Harold still had another forty-four pages to read of his natural history textbook, and Em still had to prepare for her english exam.

"George, breakfast is ready!" shouted George's dad from downstairs.

George stumbled downstairs exhaustedly and tried to smoosh some waffles into his mouth, but missed. George's parents were concerned with how exhausted their son was. Meanwhile, Harold was sitting at his dining table, attempting to pour some milk into his cereal bowl, but ended up pouring it onto his toast by accident instead.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" asked Harold's mom with worry.

"O-hhhhhhh, kaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!" Harold answered sleepily.

His answer didn't make any sense, but it was the best he could under the current circumstances. Meanwhile, Em was going over her multiplication tables for math, she tried drinking her orange juice, but ended up spilling it down her front.

"Emily, are you alright?" asked Em's mom.

"I'mmm, f-f-fiiiiiiiineeeeee." said Em in a worn out voice.

All too soon, the three were ready for school. They met up in front of George's house as usual.

"You r-r-ready f-for the t-tests?" Em asked droopily.

"W-We're f-fired up." said George and Harold lazily.

The three were so tired they couldn't even answer simple questions correctly. How were they going to get through a whole days worth of tests?

"Let's tryyyyyyy and geeeeeet this oooooooover with!" George moaned.

"P-Perh-haps w-we should ch-check on the e-eggs f-first!" said Em in a tired whisper.

So the three wobbled over to the treehouse in George's backyard. Em hoisted herself up the ladder to the treehouse.

"We can't b-be late." called George, but Em didn't come back down.

"W-We're gonna b-be late!" Harold tried shouting, but only wheezed.

So he and George climbed up the ladder and saw that Em had fallen asleep on her bean bag chair, just as they had expected.

"Come on, Em," said George, shaking her shoulder. "We can't miss the tests!"

"Just five minutes," Em whispered. "Five minutes, please!"

"Alright," said George and Harold sleepily. "B-But n-not a m-minute longer!"

George and Harold took off their respective backpacks and plopped down into their respective bean bag chairs, then George checked his watch. It was 7:45 AM, with the second hand ticking by slowly.

"Just a few seconds," George replied exhaustedly. "That's all I n-need."

And with that, he slowly closed his eyes. The three finally woke up (albeit slowly), with George checking his watch again, it was 3:50 PM. George put it down, but then looked at it again, to make sure it was the correct time, which, unfortunately, it was.

"OH NO!" exclaimed George, with Harold and Em jumping up. "WE SLEPT THROUGH SCHOOL! WE SLEPT THROUGH THE TESTS! WE SLEPT THROUGH EVERYTHING!!!"

"Oh, NOOOOO!" wailed Harold. "We're done for, man! We're dead meat!"

"Yeah, it's game over!" cried Em.

Then the three peeked out of the treehouse window. Harold's mom was in her garden, whistling a cheerful tune while planting seeds.

"Didn't the school call and tell our parents we were absent?" asked Harold.

"Maybe," said George. "But I have no idea!"

Then he, Harold and Em climbed down the ladder and walked over to the garden.

"How was school today?" asked Harold's mom.

"Oh, the same as usual, I guess." said Harold, and he really was guessing.

George's mom heard them talking and came walking over to them.

"You didn't miss school today, did you?" she asked.

"Ummm... nope!" said George. He technically was telling the truth. He hadn't really missed school at all.

Em's mom came over as well.

"Did you have a good day today?" she asked.

"Well, yeah," said Em, managing to answer right away. "It was a good day!"

All too soon, it was dinner time. Then the three got ready for bed and fell asleep. They were relieved to sleep in their respective beds.

Ch. 9

Super-Secret Test Day

By the next morning, George, Harold and Em were even more refreshed. They got ready for school, ate breakfast, and began walking to school. As soon as they made it inside, a sudden voice stopped them, dead in their tracks.

"Well, well," said the familiar voice. "How nice of you three to stroll by!"

George, Harold and Em gulped and turned around. They saw their school principal, Mr. Krupp (who is also Emily's uncle), and he was overjoyed to see them, and they could see it on Principal Krupp's face.

"This can't be good." said George.

"Yeah, that's definitely a bad sign." said Harold.

"No doubt," said Em. "It's going to be a bad day."

"Actually, Emily," Mr. Krupp enthusiastically told his niece. "This is going to be a good day. The best day that I've been waiting for. Now, let's go up to my office, shall we? I've got refreshments!"

George, Harold and Em gulped again as they followed their principal to his office. Em could tell that, by the look on her uncle's face, he was all ecstatic about something, and that made her really nervous. As they walked to Principal Krupp's office, several teachers patted him on the back and, at the same time, laughed at George, Harold and Em. Most of the teachers and staff seemed elated.

"We really are done for." said Harold.

"Yeah, hard to believe that." said George.

Em was speechless the whole time. Her uncle didn't even mention anything as to why he was so overjoyed. When they finally made it to the principal's office, Mr. Krupp plopped down into his chair and spun around in it a few times, giggling with glee.

"I thought you said there were refreshments." George finally replied, impatiently, after a few minutes.

"Oh no, not for you two," said Principal Krupp as he got out a can of diet soda, and a can of strawberry cream soda and put them on his desk. "Just for my niece. So she and I can soak in the happy moment!"

Em refused to touch the can of strawberry cream soda. Mr. Krupp started sipping his diet soda, with the fizzy, brown phosphoric acid dribbling down his chins.

"You boys have really screwed up this time," said Mr. Krupp with glee. "You skipped school on Super Secret Test Day!"

"What's Super Secret Test Day?" Em asked her uncle.

"I'm glad you asked, Emily," said Mr. Krupp as he turned toward his niece. "You see, I've been looking for a way to steer you away from Mr. Beard and Mr. Hutchins for years now, and, to have you spend time with Melvin!"

Em gulped, knowing she wasn't going to like what her uncle was about to reveal.

"But luckily, I figured it out... yesterday," Principal Krupp continued. "In a flash of inspiration. SUPER-SECRET TEST DAY!"

"What's so secret about that?" asked George.

"You should be asking, 'what's so SUPER about it? '" said Mr. Krupp joyfully. "Because this could be the crowning achievement of my entire career!"

George and Harold looked at each other nervously. Suddenly, the door swung open and in walked the school's math teacher, Miss Calculator, who sneered at George and Harold and poked her tongue out at them as she walked by.

"Here are the figures you asked for." said Miss Calculator, handing a large envelope to Mr. Krupp.

"Thanks, Anita," said Mr. Krupp, as he took the envelope like he was admiring an aroma of a gourmet meal, then he sneered at George and Harold. "It's such a shame you boys missed school yesterday. Your teachers hated to do this, but they had to give you both ZEROES on all of your tests!"

"But we did study," assured Harold. "Can't we just take the make-up tests?"

"Oh, no no no no," said Principal Krupp with an evil grin. "There won't be any make-up tests!"

"Don't worry, Harold," said George. "We still have a chance, with the final exams!"

"Final exams have actually been cancelled this year," said Mr. Krupp cheerfully, as Miss Calculator smiled evily. "Isn't that spectacular? You and all of your classmates will get seven more weeks of school, without any homework, quizzes, and studying. Your grades for the whole school year have been calculated!"

"Seven weeks... without any studying, quizzes, or homework?" said Em, outraged.

"That's correct, Emily," said Mr. Krupp. "This is to ensure that Mr. Beard and Mr. Hutchins here won't cause you anymore trouble with their brainwashing tendencies!"

Em gasped and gave her uncle pleading eyes, which he ignored. George and Harold were stunned at the thought that they were 'forbidden' to make-up tests, and to take final exams.

"Come on, uncle," Em pleaded desperately. "Seven weeks is plenty of time to bring our grades up!"

"Sorry, Emily," Mr. Krupp told his niece. "I can't risk another year of George and Harold ruining your mind!"

Em shook her head (as if to say that George and Harold are not who her uncle thinks they are), only for her uncle to ignore it. Miss Calculator laughed and pointed at George and Harold.

"Normally, this wouldn't be revealed until summer vacation starts," Mr. Krupp continued as he turned to face George and Harold. "But, I thought I'd be nice and show you your grades early. Isn't that fun?!"

Then, Principal Krupp opened the manila envelope, pulled two report cards out, and hands them to George and Harold. Quickly, the boys scanned through their respective report cards. George's final grade was a 62.7%, terrible, but still passing. Which means George would go on to the fifth grade. Harold's was a 59.7%, meaning that Harold wasn't so lucky. He would flunk the fourth grade. Then Mr. Krupp handed his niece her report card, which was a 75.5%.

"You see," Mr. Krupp went on. "This will ensure that you have different friends, and I won't have to worry about either of you ruining Emily's mind... ever again!"

"You can't just do this," Harold stated. "Seven weeks is plenty of time!"

"What you're doing is insanely unfair!" George protested, while Em, again, gave her uncle pleading eyes.

"Yeah, well, life isn't always fair!" sneered Mr. Krupp and Miss Calculator, defending their actions, with Mr. Krupp ignoring his niece's pleading eyes once more.

"You should be used to that, by now!" taunted Miss Calculator.

"Now, off to class." said Mr. Krupp, motioning his thumb to the door.

George, Harold and Em left and started walking to their classroom.

Ch. 10

Ideas And Planning

George, Harold and Em started walking home later that afternoon, after school ended for the day. George didn't say anything, he was thinking of something to solve the problem. Em was heartbroken, she knew her uncle hated George and Harold, but she never thought it would be to this kind of degree, to separate them from her.

"I can't BELIEVE this," Harold moaned, trying not to cry. "We even studied for them, hard. What's the point of making us study, and then get told we don't have any more chances to make-up, especially with finals? I could've gotten Bs!"

"Wait, we still have a chance!" said George confidently.

"But how," said Harold. "They won't let us take make-up tests!"

"Who says we have to take make-up tests?" asked George. "We can just go back in time by one day, and take the real tests!"

"Yeah, and Melvin did say he kept that space squid thingy in his garage," said Em, with her spirits rising. "We can just borrow it, go back in time to yesterday morning, and take those tests. It'll be a piece of cake!"

"NO WAY!" Harold protested. "Something bad always happens anytime we travel through time!"

"What could be worse than for you to spend an extra year at that wretched school?" said George. "Do you really think all that is worth it?"

Harold knew that he couldn't argue with that, so the three started walking over to Melvin's house. Em had to show the way, since she knew where it was located, due to that blackmailing incident where she couldn't hang with George and Harold, and hang out with Melvin instead. The very incident where they sabotaged the big game, when their football team (and school mascot) were still the knuckleheads. They made it over to Melvin's garage (which, luckily, was open), and there they saw it, the time-traveling Robo-Squid, right next to a box of Langstrom seven-inch gangly wrenches.

"Are you sure we should do this?" wondered Harold. "This is trespassing, and stealing!"

"Melvin was the one who started this," reminded George. "And besides, we're just going back in time by one day. We're not stealing, we're just borrowing it!"

Again, Harold couldn't argue with that, so, against his better judgement, he agreed. So he and George hoisted Em up into the cockpit, thinking having her set up the time-traveling thing would allow a greater chance to succeed. After a few minutes, the controls were all set.

"Alright," said Em. "Let's get those tests taken care of!"

So she reached down with one tentacle and picked George up, then she picked Harold up with another tentacle. Then, she took a few steps forward, and pressed the 'start' button. Then the time-traveling Robo-Squid started to shake and sputter as it zipped back in time thirty-two hours. A blinding ball of light suddenly flashed, and George, Harold and Em arrived bright and early yesterday morning, just in time for school. Then the three spotted the other Robo-Squid as George and Harold helped Em climb out of the cockpit.

"That must be the one from yesterday." said Em.

"Yeah, we created a duplicate time machine," said George. "Melvin ought to thank us for that!"

"Yeah, it was very thoughtful of us!" said Harold.

So he, George and Em ran back through town as fast as they could. Soon, they were scrambling up the steps of Jerome Horwitz Elementary School.

"This feels weird," said George. "But I never thought I'd be happy to go to school before!"

"Or to take tests!" said Harold.

"Yeah, no kidding!" agreed Em.

And indeed, it was a happy school day for George, Harold and Em. They took all of their tests, did pretty well on them (or at least most of them), and didn't have to worry about dealing with anything Super or Secret again. That is, until they reached the treehouse later that afternoon.

Ch. 11

Our Doppel Gang

Upon making it to the treehouse, George tried to push the door open, but it wouldn't budge, something was in it's way, but somehow he managed to push it open a little.

"Hey, a backpack was blocking the door," George noticed. "Wait... this was my backpack!"

"What's going on up there?" asked Harold.

"I found my backpack in front of the door, and it was from yesterday!" informed George.

"But, you're wearing your backpack!" said Harold.

"Oh, krud!" said George, as he pushed the door open further.

Harold and Em started climbing up the ladder and looked inside the treehouse. They saw their yesterday selves, sleeping on the bean bag chairs. Harold gave George a stern look.

"See," said Harold in an 'I-told-you-so' voice. "I knew something bad would happen anytime we time travel."

"Don't wake us up!" said Em in a moderate whisper.

"I do wonder why we're here!" said Harold.

"Well, we went back in time to yesterday, remember!" said George.

"Yeah," said Harold. "Now it all makes sense, we were sleeping through the tests!"

"When we created the duplicate Robo-Squid," said Em. "We also created duplicates of ourselves!"

"Yeah, that's just perfect!" said Harold sarcastically.

As yesterday's George, Harold and Em slept on, George, Harold and Em were trying to figure out what all to do next.

"I don't know how we'll explain this to our parents!" said Em.

"How will we explain this to ourselves?" asked George.

Just then, Yesterday George yawned and stretched as he rolled over in his beanbag chair. Then he looked at his pocket watch, and went back to sleep. Suddenly, his eyes shot open.

"OH NO!" screamed Yesterday George, causing Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em to wake up with a jump. "WE SLEPT THROUGH SCHOOL! WE SLEPT THROUGH THE TESTS! WE SLEPT THROUGH..." (then he turned to George, Harold and Em). "Hey, who are you guys?"

Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em rubbed their eyes and looked at their respective twins.

"I must be dreaming," said Yesterday Harold. "Or I'm seeing double!"

"Well, it's a long story!" stated George.

So he, Harold and Em explained to their yesterday selves the whole story, about what had happened, and filled them in with details on the events that happened for the past three and a half chapters. This surprised Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em.

"What do we do now?" asked Yesterday George.

"Telling our parents would be too risky." said Harold.

"Where will we sleep?" wondered Yesterday Harold.

"How will we get enough food?" asked Em.

"And enough clean clothes?" said Yesterday Em.

Everybody was starting to panic, except for George, who was deep in thought, which lasted for a while. In fact, George wasn't, at all worried and a devilish grin came across his face.

"You know," said George. "Maybe we're looking at all this the wrong way. Perhaps there's a good side to this!"

"A GOOD side, to all this?" asked Yesterday Harold incredulously.

"Yeah," said George. "We've always said there's never enough time to do what we want to do, so we can take shifts! Me, Harold and Em can go to school and do our homework on even numbered days, while you guys can take the odd numbered days."

"But what will we do while you guys are at school?" asked Yesterday George.

"Whatever you want," said George. "You know, sleep in, play video games, make comics, you name it! You guys will get to relax and take every other day off."

"Oh, I get it now," said Yesterday George. "Then you guys get to take the day off when we're at school."

"Yeah," said George. "Just think of all the possibilities!"

"I don't know." said Harold and Yesterday Harold at the same time.

"Don't worry," said George. "It'll be so cool! We'll have twice the fun, and half the work!"

"Yeah," said Em and Yesterday Em simultaneously. "What could possibly go wrong?"

Ch. 12

Shift Workers

Since today was an even-numbered weekday, it was decided that Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em would go to school the next day. So the yesterday clones said goodbye and headed down to their respective homes to eat, do homework and prepare for the next day at school. George, Harold and Em were ready for a night off, so George turned on the tv to watch a monster movie, Harold grabbed a stack of comic books, while Em went to their table and began coloring in a coloring book, while checking on the eggs about once every five to ten minutes.

The three had enough to last them a while, juice boxes, Zing Zong cupcakes, and even Fruit-Rollie-Flops. But all too soon, they were beginning to run out. It was 9:30 AM when George decided to call the Piqua Pizza Palace to order three calzones, some cheesy breadsticks, and three 2-liter bottles of root beer. George and Em knew their respective parents were at work, but they decided to wait in front of Em's driveway, not wanting to risk her's or George's parents being home (or coming home) unexpectedly and hearing the delivery guy ring the doorbell. Soon, the three friends were enjoying the finest carbohydrates money could buy, in the quiet comfort of their cozy treehouse.

"This is the life." said George as he pressed play on the horror movie masterpiece Baby Blob 2: The Squishening.

"It sure is!" agreed Em.

Harold had to admit it too, even though he tended to be more cautious in these kinds of situations. But inevitably, problems began to rise.

"You know, I have to pee!" said Harold.

"Me, too!" said George.

"So do I!" said Em.

This realization put the three in a quandary, usually they would just run into their respective houses to use the bathroom, but that was too risky. The three knew that Harold's mom worked from home, and she wouldn't be happy to see them running around, especially in and out of their respective houses, on a school day. Luckily, the empty 2-liter bottles came in handy in situations like these, but they knew that solution wouldn't work for very long.

"We're starting to run low on food and drinks," said Harold. "All those calzones cost me the rest of my allowance money."

"Well, there's still making comics," assured George. "We can just make them, make copies and sell them on the playground. That will give us some money and we can use that money to buy all the junk we need. We can even purchase some portable camping toilet thingies."

"But we can't go to school, not today!" said Em.

"Actually, it's our classes we can't go to," George clarified. "As long we're not in the same place as our doubles, we'll be fine!"

"Oh, yeah," said Em. "How silly of me."

"Now's the time to create another comic." reminded Harold.

So he, George and Em cleared a space on their drawing table and started working on their newest comic book, which was called: Super Diaper Baby 2.5.

Ch. 13

Dream A Little Dream Of Us

George, Harold and Em finished their comic book, and the three couldn't be prouder of themselves.

"Wow, this comic turned out pretty good!" said Harold.

"It sure did!" agreed Em.

"Yeah, not too shabby," said George. "Now let's go to the school and make copies of this!"

"What will we do if somebody spots us?" asked Harold in a cautious tone.

"Don't worry," assured George. "I've got it all figured out."

So he, Harold and Em started walking to Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, and sneaked into the office. All too soon, they were making copies of their comic book, and started stapling the pages together. It was going smooth until the school secretary, Miss Anthrope came back from her lunch break.

"What do you think you're doing here?" yelled Miss Anthrope. "You're supposed to be in class!"

"We are," said George with a mischievous grin. "You're just dreaming!"

"I'm... dreaming?" asked Miss Anthrope.

"Yeah," said George. "You can just call our teacher, Ms. Ribble, on the intercom. She'll tell you that the three of us are in class right now."

"Are you sure?" asked Miss Anthrope suspiciously.

"Of course," said George. "Obviously, we can't be in two places at once! All this only happens in dreams, right?"

So the school secretary went over to the intercom, grabbed the microphone, and contacted Ms. Ribble's classroom.

"Ms. Ribble," said Miss Anthrope. "Where are George, Harold and Emily right now?"

"They're here, in my classroom," said Ms. Ribble. "They've been here all day."

"Well, could you send them up to the office?" said Miss Anthrope.

"Of course," said Ms. Ribble. "They'll be there momentarily!"

Then, Miss Anthrope turned to George, Harold and Em, giving the three a yellowish, snarky grin.

"I don't have any idea what kind of trick you're trying to pull," said Miss Anthrope. "But you can't fool me that easily!"

A couple minutes later, Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em made it to the office and walked in. Then Miss Anthrope looked at them and screamed. Then she looked at George, Harold and Em, screaming again. Then her head started making swishing sounds as it swiveled back and forth between George, Harold and Em, then back to Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em, repeatedly.

"I told you," said George. "This is a dream."

"You're... you're r-right!" cried Miss Anthrope. "It all seems so... vivid. But I-I m-must be dreaming!"

"See, I told you," George said. "And why would you waste a perfectly good dream inside a boring school office?"

"Yeah, you do have a good point," said Miss Anthrope. "And why should I bother wearing such tight, restricting clothes? After all, it's my DREAM! So I can do whatever I want!"

"Now, hold on!" said Em.

But it was too late. Miss Anthrope had already started hoisting her dress over her head, then she threw it out a window, making the two Georges, two Harolds and two Ems scream in horror.

YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Miss Anthrope ecstatically. "THIS IS FUN!"

Then she ran away laughing her head off, slamming the door behind her. Then Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em glared over to George, Harold and Em.

"What the heck are you three doing here?" asked Yesterday George sternly. "This is our day to be at school!"

"Well, we ran out of food and drinks," said George. "So we created a new comic to sell on the playground!"

Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em walked over to the copy machine and inspected the new comic.

"How many of these did you make?" asked Yesterday Harold.

"About two hundred." said Harold.

"Yeah, well, we'll take care of it," said Yesterday Em. "Then, we'll bring the money back to the treehouse after school is finished for the day."

"But we need..." said Em.

"You three need to leave," said Yesterday George, interrupting Em in the process. "If anybody catches us together, we'll ALL be in BIG TROUBLE!"

"Alright," said George. "We're going."

"OUT, NOW!" shouted Yesterday George angrily.

"Alright, alright," said Harold. "Gee whiz!"

So Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em scooped up the comic books in their arms and left the office in a huff.

"Man," said George. "Today was supposed to be our day to have fun! But, we won't let us do so!"

"I know," said Harold. "Who do we think we are?"

"We can't tell us what to do," said Em. "I'm not the boss of me!"

"Me neither," said Harold. "I can do whatever I want, even if I don't want me to do it!"

"Same here," said Em. "If I don't like me doing it, I'm still doing whatever I want!"

"That's tellin' yourself!" said George.

Ch. 14

Twin Pranks

George, Harold and Em walked out into the hallway and began changing the letters around on the bulletin board. But all of a sudden, the gym teacher, Mr. Meaner and the school psychologist, Miss Labler, caught the three red-handed.

"Hey, just what do you kids think you're doing?" barked Mr. Meaner.

"Actually, we're not doing anything," said George. "You're just dreaming!"

"You think so?" asked Mr. Meaner suspiciously.

Miss Labler looked into Ms. Ribble's classroom window and saw George, Harold and Em's yesterday counterparts, with a shocked look on her face. Then Mr. Meaner looked into the classroom himself. This took less effort to persuade the teachers that they were dreaming.

"How... How can there be two Georges, two Harolds and two Emilys?" asked a still shocked Miss Labler. "This really is a dream after all!"

"That's right," said Harold. "You can do whatever you want, as long as you don't take off your clothes and..."

"Too late!" said Em.

Mr. Meaner and Miss Labler stripped off their outer clothing and began running around in the hallways. Mr. Meaner started laughing like a crazy person while singing 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' at the top of his lungs. Miss Labler ran to the teachers lounge and yanked the refrigerator door open, then she proceeded to stuff her face with everyone's lunches.

"HALLELUJAH!" she cried. "I can eat anything I want without worrying about gaining weight!"

"Hey! That's our food!" cried Mr. Rected.

"No it isn't," giggled Miss Labler. "This is just a dream! Check it out for yourselves!"

With her mouth full of tuna salad and chocolate chip cookies, she led them all down the hallway to Ms. Ribble's classroom. They were, very quickly, convinced that this was a dream, too. George, Harold and Em watched in shock as teacher after teacher after teacher began going crazy. Mr. Meaner brought in a garden hose, then tossed bars upon bars of soap, sprayed them and eventually the hallways were all slippery with soapy water.

"LOOK WHAT I'VE CREATED," cried Mr. Meaner. "THE BIGGEST SLIP N' SLIDE!"

By the time Principal Krupp came out of the faculty restroom, nearly all of the staff, including the janitor, the lunch ladies, and most of the parent volunteers were laughing their heads off, throwing soap suds at each other, and slipping and sliding down the hallways in their giant underwear.

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!" screamed Mr. Krupp in horror.

"THE GREATEST DREAM EVER," shouted Ms. Dayken. "Come on, join us!"

She brought Principal Krupp over to Ms. Ribble's classroom to 'prove' it. But Mr. Krupp's reaction was a bit different. Upon discovering that there were two Georges, two Harolds and two Ems, he found himself unable to speak, despite trying to convince himself it was all a dream.

"B-B-Bubba bobba hob-hobba hobba wah-wah!" said Mr. Krupp.

Ch. 15

Twelve Days Of Chaos

Ms. Ribble also started believing this was all a dream, and stripped off her outer clothing. Principal Krupp was still too shocked by the whole ordeal to even respond. It didn't take very long for the cops to show up. They tried to restore order, foreseeably to no avail.

"Alright," shouted Officer McWiggly. "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way!"

"How about the FUN way?" cried Miss Fitt as she yanked Officer McWiggly's pants down to his ankles.

"I've got a good idea." said Em.

"What?" asked George and Harold.

"RUN!" said Em.

By the time it was all over, the entire school staff had been arrested, with charges ranging from indecent exposure, resisting arrest, and pantsing a police officer. The cops didn't know what to do with Mr. Krupp, though. He hadn't really done anything wrong, he just stood in the same spot for hours, saying "B-B-Bubba bobba hob-hobba hobba wah-wah" over and over again. So Principal Krupp was admitted to the Piqua Valley Home For The Reality Challenged, spending the next two weeks there, unchanged. George, Harold, Em and their twins spent the next twelve days being VERY careful.

"Great job," shouted Yesterday George angrily. "The teachers are in jail, and Principal Krupp in is the goof house. These past two weeks have been a total disaster!"

"Two weeks?" said Harold inquisitively

"Yeah," Yesterday George continued. "In the past two weeks, you guys have been..."

"Wait," said Em with realization. "Wasn't something bad supposed to happen in two weeks?"

George, Harold, Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em all thought back to Melvin's cryptic warning back in chapter 7.

"Oh yeah, that's right!" they all said in unison.

The four boys and two girls looked around them. They checked the horizon, sniffed the air, and even put their ears on the floor and listened. But nothing, no sign of trouble.

"Huh," said George. "I guess nothing bad is going to happen after all!"

Ch. 16

Heeeeeeeere's Johnny!

Suddenly, a fireball shot out from behind the clouds, followed by an echoing, eardrum-piercing sound of relentless terror. It was a laugh, and a horrifying, sinister, stomach-churning laugh that the kids hadn't heard for many months. The kind of laugh they'd hoped to never hear again.

"Uh-oh!" said the Georges.

"Oh no!" said the Harolds.

"We're doomed!" cried the Ems.

The Turbo Toilet 2000 zipped across the rooftops in his homemade rocket scooter, laughing ferociously as a trail of choking smoke filled the afternoon sky. Everybody screamed. Everybody cried. Everybody hid. Everybody, that is, except for George, Harold, Em and their duplicates. The four boys and two girls ran as fast as they could to the Piqua Valley Home For The Reality Challenged. There was only one person there, who could help stop the horrifying beast, and he was locked in the goof house. The four boys and two girls dashed through the sanitarium's front door and slid across the freshly waxed floor to the receptionist's desk.

"We need to see Mr. Krupp," cried George, almost out of breath. "He's a patient here."

"Sorry," said the nurse. "We can't allow visitor's without a doctor's permission."

"But he can save the world," cried Harold. "He's Captain Underpants!"

"Sure he is," said the nurse sarcastically. "Listen, bub: We have nine patients who claim to be Captain Underpants. We also have four Wonder Women, seven Albert Einstein, and one Elvis Presley!"

"Can we at least talk to him?" asked Yesterday Em.

"No!" said the nurse. "Nobody talks to the king!"

"NOT ELVIS," said Em angrily. "My uncle, Mr. Krupp!"

"Oh," said the nurse. "I'm sorry, but NO!"

So the four boys and two girls ran out of the goof house and back to their houses.

"We may not be able to bust Captain Underpants out," said George. "But I know somebody who can!"

Ch. 17

Disguise Crazy!

George had an idea, but he needed everybody's help to pull it off. George, Harold and Em went into their respective garages and picked up a can each, of white spray paint. Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em each grabbed a barbecue grill from their respective backyards. Then, with a little ingenuity and a little duct tape, the four boys and two girls constructed three surprisingly convincing Talking Toilet costumes. Once they were finished, George, Harold and Em climbed into the boxes and wheeled themselves awkwardly into town. Soon, they came face-to-face with the Turbo Toilet 2000.

"Uh, yum, yum, eat 'em up." said George.

"Yeah, eat 'em up and stuff." said Harold.

"Uh-huh, yum yum, and all." said Em.

"Hey," cried the Turbo Toilet 2000. "I thought you guys were dead!"

"Not quite," said George. "Just a little flush wound."

"Yeah, me, too." said Harold.

"Same here." said Em.

"Good," said the Turbo Toilet 2000. "Now, do you know where those three kids are, the ones who messed up our plans a few months ago?"

"Yes," said George. "But what about that bald guy with the cape and underwear?"

"We'll deal with him, later," said the Turbo Toilet 2000. "Those kids are the first on the list!"

"You might wanna find that underwear guy first." said Harold.

"Yeah," said Em. "He's been talking trash about you for the last several months.

"OH, HE DID, DID HE?" shouted the Turbo Toilet 2000. "What did he say?!"

"Ummm..." said George. "Something about you being so fat you need to put a belt on with a boomerang!"

"He also said that you're so dumb that you like to conserve toilet paper by using both sides." said Harold.

"That's right," said Em. "Not to mention he also claimed that you like to drink urine, with no concerns for peoples' disgust."

"ALRIGHT, WHERE IS HE?" screamed the Turbo Toilet 2000.

"He's right this way." said Harold.

Ch. 18

One Smashed Into The Cuckoo's Nest

The Turbo Toilet 2000 followed George, Harold and Em back to the sanitarium. He marched through the front doors and made a beeline for the restricted section. The nurses ran screaming to safety. Then George turned the intercom on, while Harold and Em started snapping their fingers frantically into the microphone. The finger snapping echoed throughout the hallways of the Piqua Valley Home For The Reality Challenged as the Turbo Toilet 2000 crashed from room to room. Mr. Krupp, who had been comatose for nearly two weeks, suddenly began to change. First, a mischievous twinkle gleamed in his eyes. Then, a giant smile spread across his face. Suddenly, he ripped off his straitjacket, threw off his pajamas, grabbed a red curtain from a nearby window and tied it around his neck. Then, Captain Underpants proceeded to battle the raging porcelain foe.

The Turbo Toilet 2000 initially had the upper hand by banging his fists into the Waistband Warrior. Then Captain Underpants turned the tables by giving the ferocious predator spankings, with such force that the porcelain tyrant's tushie began to swell, much to the amusement of George, Harold, Em and Captain Underpants, who were laughing in hysterics.

"Let that be a lesson to you." said Captain Underpants gallantly, as the Turbo Toilet 2000 cried and cried.

"Well, I'm glad that's over." said George.

"Yeah," said Em. "That was alot easier than I thought it would be!"

At just that precise moment, a single teardrop from the quivering eyeballs of the powerful porcelain predator flew through the air and splashed onto Captain Underpants' face. This resulted in our hero's expression changing.

"What the HECK IS GOING ON HERE?" yelled Principal Krupp.

"Krud!" Em blurted out.

Mr. Krupp turned around and saw the ginormous Turbo Toilet 2000 blubbering behind him.

"AAAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!" shrieked the terrified principal. "IT'S A MONSTER!"

Then he turned around and ran away, screaming. The Turbo Toilet 2000 was baffled by what had just happened, so he decided to follow the principal. Soon, the porcelain leviathan cornered Mr. Krupp and scooped him up in his metal fist.

"I surrender! I surrender!" cried Principal Krupp. "I'll do what you request!"

"Well, that was easier than anticipated," said the Turbo Toilet 2000. "Now, where are those three kids who ruined my plans several months ago?"

"Um, wh-which ones?" asked Mr. Krupp.

"Well," the Turbo Toilet 2000 started explaining. "One of them had a flat top and a tie, the other one wore a t-shirt and had a bad haircut, and the third, the only girl if I'm not mistaken, had the blonde hair shoulder-length, kept straight, wearing a polka dot blouse and a red overall skirt!"

"No, not my niece," cried Mr. Krupp. "Not my sweet little niece, Emily!"

"She helped with ruining my plans," bellowed the angry toilet. "Now, where do they live?"

"I-I'll point you in the right d-direction!" Mr. Krupp stated, terrified.

"Alright, fair enough," said the Turbo Toilet 2000, then he turned toward George, Harold and Em. "Come along, minions, so you can watch my re-retaliation!"

"Uh-oh!" said George.

"We're doomed, again!" said Harold.

Ch. 19

The Re-Retaliation

The Turbo Toilet 2000 marched over to George, Harold and Em's respective houses. The angry robotic porcelain monster smashed through buildings, pushed cars over, and left a smoldering path of destruction in the dust. George, Harold and Em tried keeping up, but they were trailing way behind.

"He's heading for our houses!" cried Em. "We won't be able to warn ourselves ahead of time!"

That, however, didn't matter, because Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold, and Yesterday Em could hear the Turbo Toilet 2000 coming from miles away.

"I think the angry robotic toilet is headed this way!" cried Yesterday Harold.

"But how did he find out where we are?" asked Yesterday George.

Then they saw somebody pointing to the direction of the treehouse.

"There, that's the treehouse they hang out at!" said Principal Krupp.

"Oh no!" cried Yesterday Em.

Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em saw the Turbo Toilet 2000 heading for the backyard. They could feel the earth shake under each stomp of his massive, metal feet. Yesterday George locked the door, Yesterday Harold hid under the desk, while Yesterday Em kept an eye on Sulu and Cracker's eggs.

"Okay, I led the way to the treehouse," said Mr. Krupp. "Can I go now?"

"Of course you can, right in here." said the Turbo Toilet 2000 as he shoved the frightened principal into his mouth, flushing the handle, and swallowing Mr. Krupp whole.

Then the angry robot slammed against the treehouse with his massive, metallic shoulder. Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em went flying. The bookshelf fell over, spilling the comic books out of the shelves. The eggs Crackers laid wobbled around precariously around on the desktop.

"ALRIGHT, YOU KIDS. GET DOWN HERE AT ONCE!" screamed the Turbo Toilet 2000.

Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em went flying again as the robotic monster slammed into the tree again. The eggs teetered back and forth at the edge of the table.

"THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING," the Turbo Toilet 2000 threatened, smashing into the tree a third time. "GIVE UP, AND I WON'T MAKE YOU SUFFER!"

The third smash broke the window, caused the tv to topple over, and the eggs to fly into the air. Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em leaped for the eggs.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" cried Yesterday Em.

The eggs hit the floor and shattered with a terrible crash.

Ch. 20

Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em sifted frantically through the shattered eggshell fragments. Suddenly, Yesterday George felt something warm and fuzzy. Carefully, he pulled it out of the broken eggshell fragments. It was a... a... neither Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold, nor Yesterday Em could guess what exactly the creature was.

"Wh-What are these things?" asked Yesterday Em.

She pulled another one of the creatures out, while Yesterday Harold pulled the third one out. The creatures looked at Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em lovingly and proceeded to hug them.

"Could... Could this r-really be?" cried Yesterday Harold.

For the fourth time, the tree shook. Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em went flying again, and the creatures happily wiggled over to the three surprised kids, and started licking them affectionately. Finally, the Turbo Toilet 2000 climbed up the side of the tree, tore the door off of it's hinges and grabbed Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em in his mighty, metallic hand.

"I'VE GOT YOU NOW!" roared the enraged porcelain behemoth, shaking the three kids back and forth.

The three, fuzzy creatures fell to the floor, then they got to their feet and excitedly flapped their wings. They didn't understand what was going on, so they thought it was something fun. The Turbo Toilet 2000 jumped down from the tree and started squeezing the kids in his metallic hand.

"Now, time to avenge my fallen minions," announced the vengeful fiend. "Then, I shall take my place as the SUPREME LEADER OF THE EARTH!"

The three flying creatures started flying around, wagging their little tails with excitement. Almost immediately, the creatures realized that this was no game upon seeing the terrified looks on the faces of Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em. This made them take action and started circling around the Turbo Toilet 2000 like a swarm of mosquitoes. Then, they started taking turns zooming in close and biting the toilet with their bionic jaws.

"OUCH!" cried the Turbo Toilet 2000 as he tried desperately to swat at the swooping creatures. "What the heck ARE those things?"

Another one flew in close, bit the angry beast on the forearm, yanking a steel bolt out in the process.

"HEY, QUIT THAT!" screamed the exasperated robotic monster, swatting the creatures with all his might.

The strange creatures grasped the raging porcelain foe by his lid and shoulders, then began lifting him off the ground. Flapping their wings with everything they had, they carried the villainous porcelain fiend higher and higher into the air and, soon they were half a mile high in the sky, terrifying the Turbo Toilet 2000, even more so when he looked down.

"PUMEEE DOWN, PUMEEE DOWN," screamed the Turbo Toilet 2000. "WE'RE UP WAY TOO HIGH!"

This wasn't exactly the right choice of words, because the fuzzy, flying creatures did exactly as instructed. They released the powerful foe from their grasp, leaving the Turbo Toilet 2000 falling to the ground at a dangerous speed, screaming in terror.

KA-BLAMMO!

The Turbo Toilet 2000 smashed into a vacant parking lot and exploded with a sonic boom that shattered nearly every window in the city. When the smoke had finally cleared, Principal Krupp sat alone in the center of the impact point, surrounded by mangled metal and jagged chunks of porcelain. Everything around him had been destroyed, but Mr. Krupp, surprisingly, was unharmed. His superpowers had protected him. Soon, the cops showed up at the scene.

"You okay?" asked Officer McWiggly.

"I-I guess so," said Mr. Krupp. "This must've been another one of those horrible nightmares I often have!"

"Oh great," said Officer McWiggly. "Another schoolteacher, in his underwear who thinks he's dreaming, just like the others."

"Well, let's lock him up with the others!" said the police chief.

So the police escorted Mr. Krupp back to the goof house.

Ch. 21

Hamsterdactyls

George, Harold and Em made it back to the treehouse just as the fuzzy, flying creatures returned, also to the treehouse. Yesterday George, Yesterday Harold and Yesterday Em explained what all had happened, and how the furry creatures inside Crackers' eggs had saved the Earth from total destruction.

"What are these things anyway?" asked Em, inspecting one of the creatures.

"They look like a cross between a hamster and a pterodactyl!" said George.

"Ewww," said Harold. "That means Sulu and Crackers had been... EEWWWW!"

"This doesn't make any sense," said Em. "How can a mammal of modern day mate with a prehistoric reptile?"

"EWWWWWWWWWW!" cried Harold again.

"Well, if a mammal has been given mutated genes, then it can breed with any prehistoric reptile." Em speculated.

"What part of EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW don't you understand?" shouted Harold.

"Sorry." said Em sheepishly.

Soon, the six friends and their new pets were back up in their treehouse. They worked together to clean up the mess. Then, the two Georges made beds for the baby hamsterdactyls after the two Harolds brought out shoeboxes, while the two Ems began thinking of names for the hamsterdactyls.

"Let's call the girl Dawn!" suggested Em.

"Okay," said Yesterday Harold. "What about the other two?"

"Tony and Orlando!" said George.

So Yesterday George, Harold and Yesterday Em wrote the names on their shoebox beds, but they still seemed perplexed.

"Are you three still trying to figured out how we all ended up with three half-bionic hamster, half-pterodactyl pets?" asked Em.

"Yeah, sort of." said Yesterday George, Harold and Yesterday Em.

"Well, you're thinking too much." said Em.

"Yeah," said George. "Looking too closely at these stories will cause them to fall apart completely. Whaddya think this is, Shakespeare?!"

"Yeah, you're right." said Yesterday Em.

"Yeah, of course I am," said George. "Just go with it."

Ch. 22

All's Well That Ends Poorly

"Well, that's a brilliant ending," said Yesterday George after helping Harold and Yesterday Em tuck Tony, Orlando and Dawn into their beds.

"Whaddya mean, brilliant?" asked Yesterday Harold. "The city is destroyed, our teachers are in jail, there are six of us with three mutated pets who think we're their moms!"

"Oh yeah, how silly of me," said Yesterday George. "That means we still have some loose ends in this story?"

"Uh-oh!" said Em. "That can only mean one thing!"

"What?" asked George.

"Another sequel!" said Harold.

The six nodded at that, but then began panicking. As they were doing so, Em and Yesterday Em gasped.

"Oh, NO!" whined George and Yesterday George

"Here we go again!" whined Harold and Yesterday Harold.