Hello! This one shot is dedicated to my friends Claire and John. We've actually had this sort of conversation before but it didn't end with one of us kissing the other. I've put this under humour but I'm not sure whether it really classifies as humour. I've tried to make it funny but my friends say I'm not that good with funny. Maybe you could review and tell me what you think? **puppy dog eyes**
Disclaimer: Am I rich? No. Am I blondish brunettish? No. Do I own Harry Potter? Unfortunately not.
Anyway, enjoy!
I Am Not Posh!
Hermione was incensed, furious, enraged, irritated, outraged. Oh she could make a long list of adjectives describing her at that particular moment, but to put it simply, she was mad. The reasons for her current state of mind were there two insolently smirking red headed twins standing in front of her. Why couldn't they have just let her be? Why did they have to come over just to antagonise her? It was idiotic the way she was getting riled up at such a small thing, but their comment just rubbed her the wrong way.
"You know Hermione,"
"We reckon you're too posh."
She glared at them; her brown eyes were like splinters of bark.
"I. Am. Not. Posh." She said, articulating every word so as to drill the message into Fred and George's thick heads. They just laughed. They laughed. At her. That just made her angrier than she was before.
"Well dearest Hermione," Fred started.
"We find that you would be wrong-" George continued.
"For once, we might add." Fred cut in.
"In the fact that you are most definitely posh." They finished together. Hermione was miffed. So what if her parents taught her manners and how to be polite? Was that not the reason these things were implemented in the first place? What was wrong with being dignified?
"How on earth would you define me being posh?" Hermione asked stiffly.
"'How on earth?' Nobody says 'how on earth' anymore Hermione. You are posh." The twins crowed. Hermione had had enough.
"If you will excuse me, I'm going to the Library." She declared. And with one last dirty look at the twins still howling with laughter, she stormed out of the Gryffindor Common Room.
o..O.o
A few days passed and to Hermione's relief, the twins had stopped trying to convince her that she was posh. She walked towards the Gryffindor table and sat down for breakfast. She unfolded her napkin and placed it on her lap before pouring herself some juice. As she was pouring maple syrup on her French toast, two freckled nightmares appeared on either side of her. She ignored them and began cutting her breakfast into squares.
Hermione looked up to find the Weasley Twins shaking their heads at her in disbelief.
"Can I help you?" She asked disapprovingly. The twins were still shaking with barely suppressed mirth.
"You really can't deny it Mione, you are very posh." They snickered together. "Seriously, who cuts their French toast?"
"Do not call me 'Mione'." She hissed, "It is Hermione. Not Hermy, or Mia, or Hermon or whatever other ridiculous nickname you have come up with! It is Her-my-oh-nee. Hermione."
With a strong sense of déjà vu, Hermione left the two not trying to prevent their guffaws anymore and rolling on the floor.
o..O.o
Hermione walked out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her. The hot, steamy water was just what she needed to calm her down. That feeling of serenity was not to be kept for long though. When she walked to her wardrobe, imagine which two male twins were inspecting her closet.
"What are you doing here?" Hermione shrieked, wrapping her towel tighter around her.
"We really can't believe you colour coded and categorised your clothes." They said, their eyes wide with shock.
"Get out." She said firmly.
"We've been looking through your stuff and you've even organized your quills according to size!"
"Get out."
"Seriously, how do you find the time to do all of this with all the homework you must be getting?" They asked, sauntering towards the door with a leisurely pace.
"Out."
"Okay, okay… nice bras though, even if they arranged neatly." They said the last word as if it was a disgusting swear word.
"OUT!"
o..O.o
"Well good day, my fair lady." Fred said, pompously bowing to Hermione who narrowed her eyes in suspicion.
"What are you doing and where is George?"
Fred clutched his chest dramatically. "One might think that you preferred my far less handsome brother to me. And can't I be in the library for the sake of it?"
They were in the library as a matter of fact. This wasn't unusual for Hermione, but she doubted Fred or George had ever set foot in the library or even knew where it was!
"And as for why I am here, I am being posh." Fred stated the obvious, sounding uncannily like Percy. "Because I wanted to ask a posh person out and figured that the best way was to be posh myself."
Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Honestly, if you want to ask a girl out, you have to be sincere. You can't pressure her and a few compliments wouldn't go amiss either as long as you mean them." Hermione explained.
Fred raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Of course," Hermione said exasperatedly, "Why would I lie to you?"
"Then would you give me the greatest pleasure of taking you out on a date and possibly kissing you?"
Hermione was speechless.
"Y-you were talking about me? You're not joking or anything?" She stuttered.
This time it was Fred's turn to roll his eyes.
"Well duh I was talking about you. And this is no joke. So will you?" His expression turned hopeful.
Hermione blushed at the thought that Fred Weasley wanted to court her. Her! Plain old Hermione Granger. Pavarti and Lavender had giggled together about how great it would be to make out with one of the Weasley Twins. It disgusted Hermione how they didn't mind which one they snogged.
"All right."
Fred's grin was wider than a crescent moon. He did a sort of victory jig and kissed her.
Fred Weasley kissed her.
Hogwarts's school heartthrob kissed her and she loved it.
The kiss was sweet, kind, breathtaking. It sent tingly sparks down to her toes and made a warm fuzzy feeling grow in her.
They broke apart panting for breath. Hermione snuggled against Fred's strong chest when a thought struck her.
"I thought you thought I was posh?" She asked quizzically.
"Well it just so happens I like posh." Fred said with a goofy grin on his face."
Hmm… Maybe being posh wasn't so bad after all.
The End
Well, how was that? Make sure you review and tell me your thoughts!
Mischief Managed,
Angelfabeth