This story will not make a lick of sense without reading the previous stories, but if you decide to: Phineas and Ferb and Candace can all understand Perry via translator, and remember their adventures with him!
Ferb shot a straw wrapper.
Phineas ducked. "Be careful, Ferb. You almost hit the waitress."
"I know." Ferb said. "I keep missing."
"Look at this." Perry said, partially to distract Ferb and partially because he wanted to point out the flyer sitting in the middle of the table. "It's one of those highly unreasonable restaurant offers."
"Unreasonable offers?" Phineas asked.
Perry picked up the flyer and began to read. "On select Tuesday nights, get free cheese sticks with any 20 dollar purchase before nine PM when ordering dinner for two during a full moon! Extra charges apply."
"You can just buy the cheese sticks for two bucks." Phineas said.
"Exactly." Perry said.
"Hi there!" Said a high-pitched cheerful voice. A blond woman with her hair tied back in a large pink bow skipped over to them. "My name is Nancy and I'll be taking care of you this evening!"
"Great. Where's my blankie?" Perry asked.
"Can I interest you boys in an appetizer from our Kid's Menu?" Nancy asked. "Such as our Cheesy-Weedle-Weedle Frenchy Wenchy Fries? Or our Buttery Buttery Bread Fun Snack?"
"Sure, I'll have the cheese fries." Phineas said.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you mean the Cheesy-Weedle-Weedle Frenchy Wenchy Fries?"
"I hate this place." Perry muttered.
"Uh… yeah. Those." Phineas said.
"Well, okay then! What about for the cute green-haired little boy?" Nancy asked.
"Buttery Buttery Bread Fun Snack." Ferb said, in a perfect American accent.
Perry and Phineas looked at him.
"All rightie, then!" Nancy said, skipping away.
"It's really just buttered bread." Ferb said.
"Why did you talk in a weird accent?" Phineas asked.
Ferb looked at him.
"Oh." Phineas snickered. "That's right. It's not a weird accent, it's my accent."
"I shall use a different accent every time she comes by." Ferb said.
"You guys should switch accents one day." Perry said. "Confuse everyone- Heyyyy. She didn't ask me if I wanted an appetizer."
"You can have some of my cheese fries." Phineas said.
"You mean your Cheesedorable Squishy Wishy Friedy Wideys?" Perry teased.
Phineas cringed.
"The food is great here, but I hate the names." Ferb said. "Look. Pasta-o-smashical Super-Spaghetti."
"I bet two guys got bored at their menu-writing job one day and they dared each other to come up with the weirdest name." Perry said. "Hey, when she comes back, can you order me some Kool Dawg Hawt Chawk?"
"They do have good hot chocolate here." Phineas said.
"Oh no, little boy!" Nancy said, placing cheese fries and buttered bread in front of the boys. "We don't have hot chocolate here. We have Kool Dawg Hawt Chawk." She frowned for a moment. "Or whatever it is you kids say these days."
"We say hot chocolate." Ferb informed her in an Irish accent.
Nancy blinked. Then she went right back to smiling. "May I take your adorable little orders?"
"I'll have a grilled cheese…" Phineas began.
"Do you mean, a Silly-Willy Grilly Cheese?" Nancy corrected.
"Whatever." Phineas mumbled. "Yes. And a milkshake."
"A Milky-Moo Shakeroo?"
Phineas rolled his eyes and nodded.
Nancy giggled and took his menu. "And for you, little green-haired boy?"
"I'll have three chocolate milks and a Veggie-Weggie Burgertastic Burger." Ferb said in a Russian accent.
"…Weren't you just Irish?" Nancy asked.
"No, why do you ask?" Ferb replied in his natural dialect.
Nancy shook her head. "And what is the little blue man having for dinner?"
"You, if you don't take back the little blue man comment." Perry said.
"He wants spaghetti and a salad." Phineas said.
"All rightie!" Nancy said cheerfully. "I'll get your orders in faster than you can say Cheesy Squeezy!"
Ferb opened his mouth.
"It's just something they make us say. I can't really do it that fast." Nancy muttered. She grabbed Perry's menu and left the table.
"She didn't correct you with the spaghetti and salad." Perry said.
"The adult menu doesn't have weird names for food." Phineas explained. "Aw, Perry. I wish you didn't have to go tonight. I wish you could just stay here with us."
Perry clutched the cow pendant in his fur pocket. "I know, boys. But I'll be back home tomorrow. We'll do something fun. But I have to do this tonight."
Perry walked up to the abandoned gas station with the angry cow painted on the side. He pulled up the hood on his jacket and reached into his pocket, closing his fingers around the pendant.
He pulled it out and examined it.
Yep, same cow.
Perry took a deep breath and walked forward. The doors parted, and he was inside.
The room was dimly lit by colored lights and crowded. Perry pushed his way past other animals.
"Hey. Back for more partying, are ya?" Asked a gorgeous pig in a blue dress, placing her hoof on his shoulder.
"Back off, Sche." Perry spat.
"Ooh, we've got a cranky one." Sche commented. She disappeared back into the crowd.
Perry finally found the animal he was searching for: A crafty-looking tortoise in combat boots.
"Memory." Perry said.
Memory looked toward him and smiled. "Heeeyyyy. Loner. You're back. Another debt? Ten bucks. Or more, if you got more."
He gestured at a platypus yelling at a customer over a counter.
"I better warn ya, though. She's in a bad mood today." Memory said.
"I'm taking her." Perry said. "All the Royal Guard prisoners."
Memory stared at him. "You couldn't possibly be THAT loaded. Otherwise you wouldn't be livin' this kinda life."
"I have something that I'm pretty sure will mean more to you than money." Perry said.
Memory sneered. "Nothing means more than money to this ol' tortoise, Loner."
Perry held out his hand and unfolded his fingers, revealing the cow pendant.
Memory's face paled and his eyes widened. He slowly reached out and touched the pendant.
"Where… where did you get this?" Memory asked. "It's been lost… for generations."
"You'd be surprised where something can get to." Perry said. "Do we have a deal? Royal Guard?"
"You've returned the honor to the Renegades." Memory said. "Years of lost honor."
"Royal Guard is free? And you won't bother them again?"
"So long as they stay away from our territory… I'll form a truce." Memory picked up the pendant and hung it around his neck. "I… I cannot tell you how much this means to me."
Perry pointed toward the counter.
"Yes… of course." Memory pulled a key out of the side of his shell and handed it to Perry. "There you go. One key works for all."
Perry rushed over to the counter, knocking over a couple of people seated at the bar. He handed the key to the platypus behind the counter.
Prince took it from him and smiled. "Took ya long enough."
Perry closed the door to the boys' room as quietly as he could.
"Hey, Perry!" Phineas sat up. "When'd you get back?"
"Sorry." Perry whispered. "I was trying to be quiet so I didn't wake you. Shh, don't wake Ferb-"
"Hey, Ferb!" Phineas threw a pillow at his brother's head. "Perry's back!"
Perry sighed.
Ferb rolled over in his sleep.
"He sleeps forever." Phineas complained. "So did you get Royal Guard out, Perry?"
"I did." Perry said. "And I got Truth and Minnie returned to their parents. Rem and Sneaks went home with Prince."
"Why do you look so upset, then?"
"Well… Prince got feverish on the ride back, so I took her to a doctor… well... she's... pregnant again."
"That's happy, Perry! Yay, Perry!"
"Yes, but… I don't know if I told you this… Doris, a psycho psychic wolf, accidentally cursed me a while ago… she said my next born child would be partially completely evil and partially completely good."
"Partially and completely don't work, Perry."
"Anything's possible." Perry said.
"True." Phineas said. "So… does Prince know?"
"Yes, I told her. She wasn't worried. She agreed with me, we'd love our pup no matter what. I just… I kind of wanted to wait to have another kid."
"So why didn't you?" Ferb mumbled into his pillow.
"Smack him with another pillow." Perry said.
Phineas threw a toy rabbit at Ferb's head. "I only had one pillow."
"I don't want to be stressing about a half-evil kid right now is all." Perry said.
"Well, everything seems worse at night. You're probably tired." Phineas said.
"You're right. I'll worry about it tomorrow." Perry climbed into his pet bed and pulled his blanket over him.
He closed his eyes.
"Buh-lowfish." Ferb said.
Phineas started to laugh.
"Be quiet, Ferb." Perry grumbled. "I'm trying to sleep."