The Reason
(A/N- Yo! I'm back... Again. I just posted another Emrey fanfic, called Out Of My Mind... Just letting you know, it switches to a bunch of different scenes, and it won't let me edit anything, so I'm sorry if it's hard to read... Just letting you know... Anyway, this is like my other fanfic called Deathbeds, but the roles are reversed. Someone wanted me to do this, so I dedicate this one to them... Emma sacrificed herself for Audrey, this time... Other than that, it's relatively similar. I suck at endings, so sorry. If you listen to the song listed while reading this, you might cry... Just saying, I almost cried writing it. Enjoy!)
I found a reason for me.
To change who I used to be.
A reason to start over new.
And the reason is you.
~ Hoobastank - The Reason.
***Day Eighteen***
I'm supposed to protect her, Audrey thought, staring at Emma.
Audrey sighed as she sat at her chair, hating herself. Goddamn, Emma wasn't smiling, Emma wasn't speaking, Emma wasn't laughing, Emma wouldn't wake up. Audrey had to face the fact, Emma might not wake up.
"Hey, Em, I... I'm making a new movie," Audrey said, smirking.
Nothing.
"It's about you," Audrey said, biting her lip. "You know, how we meant, how beautiful you really are. You've always been the most beautiful person I've ever seen, even after-" Audrey bit her lip. No, she wouldn't let Emma Duvall crush her walls down. Building walls up was all she knew, Emma wouldn't break them. She refused to let her.
Not ever again.
"You know, I remember how you always used to run around school with me, we'd be fucking crazy. Insane, to be exact. We'd skip classes in the eighth grade and smoke cigarettes, or you'd try to, but you were always the goody-two-shoes. But, I loved it about you. Like, I still love-" Damn, Audrey bit her lip, again. Shaking her head.
Like I still love you.
"Have you ever just stared up at the sky? Pretending there was another world beyond the skies, beyond the stars, beyond the planets?" Audrey asked, holding Emma's hand. "I think there's numerous worlds, different stars, with skies that hold a whole new meaning. But, I mean, am I crazy? For thinking that?"
Just like I'm crazy for still loving you?Audrey wanted to say.
But didn't.
Audrey Jensen was a badass, but, hell, when it came to Emma Duvall, she was left shaking in her boots. She'd stutter, she'd be more quiet, she'd blush like mad whenever Emma so much as brushed by her.
"I don't believe in God, but I believe you're my angel," Audrey muttered. "I fucking hate loving you, but I do."
"But, Emma, you have to live. You have to. Noah isn't you, Brooke isn't you, nobody is you. Rachel didn't even fill your void- I-" Audrey angrily stopped talking. "You know what? Fucking forget it."
***Day Twenty One***
Audrey played on her laptop and sighed as she built her video together for Emma. She had Noah go to her house and grab it since she refused to leave Emma. As she looked through her video she smirked at a certain video.
"Look! It's us at your twelfth birthday party!" Audrey said, sitting by Emma on the bed, watching the footage.
"Audrey, stop filming me!" Twelve year old Emma exclaimed.
"No way, Jose!" Audrey yelled back, laughing.
"Seriously, Audrey Jensen!"
"Sorry, but I can't."
"Why not?" Emma challenged.
"Because... I don't want to."
Audrey smiled.
"Haha," Emma laughed sarcastically.
"Don't be rude, and keep smiling! I love your smile."
"Why're you videotaping me?" Emma asked, hiding her face.
"Because you're beautiful."
Emma blushed. "No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are! Emma Duvall, not only the prettiest girl in school, the most gorgeous girl in the world," Audrey responded.
Emma smiled widely, "You're beautiful, too, Audrey."
"Really?" Audrey asked.
Emma nodded.
The video ended and Audrey sat there. Frozen. It's crazy to think after that, Emma left her just merely under a year later, for girls who despised people like Audrey, who wouldn't do anything to embarrass her and make sure her life was hell. It was so sickening.
They were so close then, practically family.
It made Audrey hate herself even more.
***Day Twenty Four***
"Hey, Em," Audrey said, dark circles appearing under her eyes. She yawned. She hasn't slept for two weeks.
"Remember in the sixth grade? We were... We were, uh, walking around the park," Audrey began.
God, she was bad at expressing her feelings.
"You saw a bird- a dove, I think. We both thought it was awesome considering nothing like that ever happened in Lakewood. It was magical. It was white, pure, just like you. It was so fragile and so pretty. You grabbed my hand. That moment was just so blissful, so peaceful That's the day I fell in love with you, Emma. I've always liked you, but that was the day, I fell in love with you." Audrey said.
Audrey huffed. "Can you even hear me?"
What's the point anymore?
"You shouldn't have saved me," Audrey broke out, finally. "You should have fucking ran. What good have I done for you? I've destroyed your goddamn life. Destroyed it. Yet, you keep running back."
Audrey bit her lip.
"You deserve better."
***Twenty Four Days***
Another video clip.
This one was different. It was at the park possibly a month or two prior to Emma leaving Audrey. They were swinging and just talking.
"Audrey?" Fourteen year old Emma asked, as they swung.
"Yeah?" Thirteen year old Audrey asked.
"What do you think of Will Belmont?" Emma asked.
"I don't know. Seems a bit like a fuck-boy, why do you ask?" Audrey said, maybe too defensive and the jealously obvious in her voice.
"He asked me to one of his games. This Friday."
Audrey's camera zoomed in on Emma's face, making Emma smile brighter.
"Well, that asshole has got another thing coming! You're coming over still, right?" Audrey said.
"I told Will I'd go," Emma said.
"You're ditching me? For a guy?" Audrey asked, slightly hurt, but trying to cover it up with a fake joking tone.
"No! I'll still come over after the game! Okay?"
"You promise?"
"I promise you, nobody will be as important as you, Audrey Jensen."
The funniest part was, Emma never came to Audrey's house like she promised. Actually, she was 'busy' with Will. It made her skin crawl thinking Emma was with some guy who wouldn't even treat Emma that good. Audrey would have treated Emma like a queen, done as she pleased, and protected her.
And mostly, Audrey would have loved her.
Audrey felt a tear skim down her face. "What the fuck happened to us, Emma?" Audrey half-yelled.
Audrey grabbed Emma's hand and clenched. So hard her knuckles were white.
"Emma, please wake up," Audrey begged. "Just fucking wake up! It's all I want, all I fucking want is you back. I don't care about anyone, but you!" She was screaming, now.
This was the downfall of Audrey Jensen.
***Day Thirty***
"Audrey, we got you some jell-o, it was all they had at the food court, sorry," Brooke said, rubbing Audrey's shoulder.
"What kind?" Audrey asked.
"Orange."
"I want strawberry," Audrey said, remembering how much Emma loved strawberry flavored jell-o.
"But you hate strawberry flavored-" Noah began.
"I changed my mind. I like it- actually I love it, now," Audrey snapped, her blue eyes glistening with tears.
Brooke bit her lip and shot Noah a look.
"Hey, Audrey, guess what?" Noah asked, trying to change the subject.
"What?" Audrey replied, more hateful than she intended, but she didn't care.
"The Morgue is in the top five most listened to podcast in the whole state! Isn't that cool?" Noah said.
Brooke shot him the, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" face.
"Awesome that people seem to enjoy other people's pain and torture," Audrey said, grimly.
Noah's smile faded. "I didn't mean- I'm sorry."
Audrey shook her head, holding Emma's hand.
"Emma really looks gorgeous in this lighting, don't you think?" Audrey asked, hypnotized by the illumination of Emma's pale face.
Brooke nodded. "Yeah, she really does."
"She probably hates me," Audrey finally said.
Brooke and Noah immediately shook their heads.
"Audrey, no. That's not it," Brooke said.
"Why would you think that?" Noah asked, trying to hug Audrey.
She pulled away. "I'm the reason she's here! Fuck, I'm the reason everyone is dead! Yeah, me! She's going to die, because of me. You guys know what? You should hate me, too. Jake is dead, because of me, Riley and Zoe is dead because of me... Will is dead, even Nina is dead, because of me. See the fucking pattern?"
Brooke stared at Audrey, shocked. "Audrey, it was Piper and Kieran's fault-"
"But who fucking wanted friends? I didn't kill anyone, I didn't even know they were doing it, but I still trusted Piper and brought her here... It's my fault," Audrey said.
"Don't say that," Noah said, looking down.
"It's true, Noah. You can't change it, hell, you can't change me. Nobody except Emma Duvall," Audrey whispered.
"Audrey..." They both began in unison.
"I love her, guys. I just want her back."
***Thirty Two***
"Hey, Em," Audrey smirked, brushing her fingers through Emma's auburn hair.
Audrey was now so much skinnier and so much more angry.
"Fucking doctors say you're gonna die, but I don't believe them. Not even for a second," Audrey said, smirking sadly.
Audrey lifted Emma's gown up to show a scar. The scar from the first killings.
"You're pretty badass Emma Duvall. This scar shows it. And the pain your enduring now, makes you even stronger. Don't ever forget that."
That's when the door opened and Brooke came inside.
"How's she doing?" Brooke asked, hugging Audrey.
Audrey shrugged. "She's fine."
"How're you doing?"
"Fine. Can you stay with Emma for me? There's a coffeehouse down the street, and I'm going to get coffee. If she wakes up, I want her to be with someone."
"You got it, Bi-Curious," Brooke joked, saluting her.
Audrey laughed, hoarsely. "Did you seriously just...?"
"Never mind. Go get coffee. I don't need anything, okay?"
Audrey nodded and proceeded to walk out the hospital.
The coffeehouse was just about a hundred feet away, and when Audrey entered, she felt the immediate feeling of Emma.
It smelled so much like Emma, the familiar feeling of Emma was everywhere. Just surrounding her. Inhaling her into a blurry must of Emma.
Her and Emma used to come here. Audrey would get an iced tea and Emma would get a Strawberry Mocha. Audrey would tease her saying strawberries were disgusting, and Emma would back herself up with, "You're the one getting a iced tea in a coffee house, Audrey."
It was a great memory, just such a sad feeling. It hasn't even occurred to her that the cashier was talking to her.
"Ma'am? You okay?" She asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Audrey replied.
"What would you like?"
A medium cinnamon iced tea. Extra sugar.
"A large Strawberry Mocha," Audrey said, smiling.
"That'll be four dollars and fifty-three cents."
Audrey handed her a five dollar bill and got her forty-seven cents back.
As she waited she watched two little girls playing with each other. Just sitting in her and Emma's old booth. They couldn't be more than nine or ten. Audrey stared and felt those goddamned tears.
"You're my best friend, Alex," the girl who reminded her of Emma said.
"Thanks, Ray. You're mine, too!" Alex replied.
Ray and Alex hugged and Audrey shook her head.
"Ma'am! Your coffee is ready!" The cashier said.
Audrey took her coffee and ran out of the coffeehouse, crying.
That's when the rain fell.
"Fuck," Audrey said, feeling her mascara run down her face.
She hit her knees and laid there, crying. Audrey broke down, finally breaking these walls down with her. She put her back against the wall and prayed.
"God, if you're above, bring her back to me. God, if you're above, bring her back to me. God, if you're above, bring her back to me. God, if you're above, bring her back to me," she kept repeating, feeling foolish, because she didn't believe in this mythological being.
But, it was all she had left.
Audrey stood up and ran into the hospital. Something was drawing her to it. She found herself wanting to get to Emma. Her boots slid as she felt her heart racing. Running into this room.
"Audrey?" A hoarse voice said.
Audrey stood there, shocked. Brooke was standing in the corner, and Emma was sitting up in her bed.
"Emma?" Audrey asked.
Emma nodded and Audrey ran over to her and cried with her. Hugging her.
"I thought I lost you," Audrey said.
Emma kissed Audrey's lips, and they tasted like strawberries. "You'll never lose me."
"I love you."
"I love you, too, Audrey. I always did."
Maybe strawberries aren't so bad, after all.