Title: Moonlight Serenade
Author: scgirl_317
Summary: Follows Once More With Feeling, though can be read alone. Helm gets frustrated when it seems like the Queen continues to get in the way of his courting Tessa.
Helm sighed as he cleaned his instruments. It had been days since he'd seen Tessa, and he could tell that the separation was beginning to wear him down. It had been two months since he had discovered her dual identity as the Queen of Swords, less since they had made their relationship public. In those two months, he discovered that he had become addicted to her presence, and he was currently suffering from withdrawal.
Montoya's schemes had kept the Queen quite busy, lately, and Tessa had taken to sleeping late after the Queen's nocturnal activities. She had come to town three days ago with Marta for supplies, but before she could see Helm, Captain Grisham had dragged a farmer to jail for being unable to pay his taxes, due to Montoya's raising them suddenly. So the Queen was called into action to rescue the poor man and make sure Montoya would not come after him again.
Deciding that something had to be done, Helm finished cleaning his instruments, closed up shop, and saddled his horse. He knew he would be next to useless if he remained in town, so he set off for the Alvarado hacienda.
It wasn't that far from town, and the ride was fairly short. He wasn't sure what he would do when he arrived, he just knew he needed to see Tessa. He tied Equus to the hitching post by the front door and climbed the steps. Marta was waiting for him.
"Buenos Días, Doctor Helm," she greeted with a smile.
"Buenos Días, Marta. Is Tessa in?"
"I'm sorry, Señor, but she is resting. She had a long night."
Marta tried not to smile at Helm's crestfallen look. He had so obviously been hoping to see Tessa, and she hated having to let him down, but Tessa had only gotten back in right after dawn, and her recent lack of sleep had apparently caught up with her.
"Oh, well, I suppose I'll leave her to her rest, then," he said softly. "You will tell her I called?"
"Of course, Señor," she replied, smiling apologetically.
Swallowing his regret, he returned to his horse and headed back for town. As he rode, a feeling of bitterness began to seep in. If it weren't for the Queen, he wouldn't be involved with Tessa—wouldn't have looked twice at her—but it was now the Queen that was prohibiting him from spending time with her. What kind of cruel game were the Fates playing at?
With an aggravated huff, Helm returned Equus to his stall in the livery. If he were honest with himself, he wasn't truly mad at Tessa—he had no right to be. He was simply frustrated from his inability to spend time with her. As soon as he managed to go over the situation, he knew his frustration would dissipate. Until then, however, he allowed himself to wallow in self-pity at his misfortune.
He was still wallowing several hours later when Tessa came by. Her bright smile that usually served to lift any burden served only to make his mood even fouler. How dare she glide in and assume he was available to spend time with her, when the most she'd been available in almost a week was merely a sighting from across the street. Again, he knew he had no right to be mad, but right then, that was all he wanted.
"Marta told me you came by, earlier. I had a… long night," she said, deciding against going into further detail; Montoya had eyes and ears all over town.
"Yes, that's what she said," he replied brusquely, barely sparing a glance from inventory list he was making.
His cold demeanor did not go unnoticed by her, "Robert, have I done something to upset you?"
"No, of course not. You haven't had the chance, considering this is the most I've seen of you in almost a week," he snapped, finally looking up to meet her gaze.
"Where's this coming from?" she asked, her face falling.
"I'll tell you exactly where this is coming from," he replied, standing and rounding his desk to stand in front of her. "In the past two weeks, Montoya and his goons have seen more of the Queen than I have of you."
"Are you jealous?" she asked, trying to pass off her fear as amusement.
"I suppose I am. It requires mutual effort by both parties to maintain a relationship, but it seems that you only make room for the Queen."
It was a low blow and he knew it, but the filter between his brain and his mouth seemed to be gone. He could see tears begin to fill Tessa's eyes, and he wanted to kick himself, but he was committed to this path, now.
"Fine, if that's how you feel," she managed to speak around the lump in her throat. "I'll leave you to get back to your work. Don't worry about making any more effort if you feel like it's so useless."
Tessa spun on her heel and left the clinic before her tears managed to break free. She refused to let Helm see how badly he had hurt her. Back inside, all of the anger and frustration Helm had felt had suddenly melted, leaving remorse and guilt over what he had said. He couldn't believe he had been so stupid—wait, yes he could, and that was why he was so mad at himself. Tessa was an incredible woman, and he had been incredibly lucky that she would have him. He had just royally screwed any chance of anything ever coming of the two of them.
The rest of the day was spent in a fog, as Helm continued to berate himself. There was nothing for it. Tessa would never speak to him again, and he had only himself to blame.
Three days passed without any further sign of Tessa, and Helm continued to feel progressively worse about what had passed between them. After the fourth day, he knew he needed to do something.
At the end of the day, he closed up the clinic and once again set out for Tessa's hacienda. She might not speak to him, but he had to at least try. He would certainly never forgive himself if he didn't do all he could to make amends for being such an ass.
Once again, Marta met him at the door. She took pity on him; the look on his face was a mixture of hope and fear, and it made her want to take him in her arms and hold him. However she knew that the arms he needed were not hers, but Tessa's.
"She's not here, Señor," she said before he had a chance to speak. "But I know where you will be able to find her."
After receiving her instructions, Helm thanked her and headed to the place that the gypsy had indicated. He could not deny he was nervous, but he refused to think that he had lost all chances of redemption. He had no doubt that Tessa was still mad at him, and he didn't blame her, but he still hoped to be forgiven.
His destination was a high cliff over the ocean. He smiled softly as he remembered the last time he had been there. The Queen had just saved him, yet again, and it was the first time he encountered the possibility that what he felt for her was more than simple admiration.
Tessa wasn't there, so he dismounted and settled in for his wait. The Queen had been called into action, yet again, but Marta had been certain that she would return home by way of the cliffs. So to pass the time, he tried to work out exactly what he was going to say when she arrived.
The moon had risen well into the sky before Helm heard a horse approaching. Considering that it was almost midnight, the only one who would be coming that way would be Tessa, and he stood and tried to squelch the butterflies in his stomach.
When Tessa saw him, her first instinct was to turn right around. He had made it quite clear he didn't want to see her. But then as she considered the situation, she realized he must have been waiting for her. Curious, she dismounted and walked over to him.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, forcing her voice to remain neutral.
"I know I don't deserve it, but I've come to beg your forgiveness for the way I acted the other day," he said, truly penitent. "I was an ass and an idiot and completely stupid to say what I did. I can not excuse my behavior, it was ungentlemanly and rude and selfish, and I can not apologize enough. I don't deserve for you to forgive me, but I hope you will."
Tessa wanted to throw her arms around his neck and say she did, but his words still stung.
"You felt that way once. How do I know you won't feel that way again?"
"I had no right to feel that way," he admitted. "What the Queen does for the people of Santa Helena is important. I have no right to ask you to set that aside for me. If the Queen's helping these people means I don't see as much of Tessa, then I'll just have to get over it. And if I've learned anything over the past few days, it's that I would rather share you with the Queen than not have you at all."
Tessa lost the battle with herself, and she fell into Helm's embrace. She sniffed as a stray tear managed to escape.
"I missed you," she whispered.
"Missed you, too," he replied.
After a minute he pulled away and went to retrieve something from his saddle bag. To Tessa's surprise, he pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses. He turned back to her with a smile.
"If the Queen can't work around my schedule, I'll work around hers," he said with a grin. "I got these from Marta. Señorita Alvarado, would you have a drink with me?"
"I would love to, Doctor Helm," she laughed.
Helm poured a glass and handed it to her. His other hand reached up and tugged at the lace still wrapped around her face, releasing it and tossing it aside.
"That's better," he said, ghosting his fingers against her cheek before leaning down to brush his lips across hers.
Tessa took initiative, and used her free hand to pull him closer to deepen the kiss. It took all of Helm's willpower not to moan in delight; he had missed this in the past week.
Neither had any illusions of things being easy. The Queen would no doubt come between them again. But they knew they could get through whatever lay ahead as long as they stuck together.