This is a sad little piece that I thought of. There are a really large amount of Akuma in D.Gray Man. What do you think that feels like when you really start thinking about it? An enemy that looks just like the ones you want to save. It's gotta drive you crazy. So this was just a sad little thing I put together.

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Thoughts

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To create an Akuma, you need three things. A machine, a soul, and a tragedy.

Machinery can be built at will.

Souls are created every second as people are born.

But…

Is this world really so full of tragedies?

My name is Roy. Roy Underwood. I am a member of the Black Order. I travel the world, completing missions given to me by the leaders of the Black Order. I carry with me a piece of what they call "Innocence." With that Innocence, I can finish my missions. I can kill Akuma. I am an exorcist.

I've been working for the Order for over four years now. I've killed hundreds, maybe thousands of Akuma. The small sliver of innocence embedded in the palm of my right hand was become my best friend. In truth…it is my only friend.

When people die, those close to them become sad. Sometimes, the sadness deepens and grows until it consumes those who grieve. When this happens, he appears. He offers those who are consumed by sadness something that they never would have dreamed possible. And when those people look into that smiling face and nod their heads, an Akuma is born.

The soul of the one lost is returned in the mechanical body created by him. But, the second life is not a welcome one. It is one of torment. The Akuma, instead of thanking the one who brought them back, hates them. The Akuma kills them.

And then…it takes their skin.

Akuma take the skin of the one who brought them back to life. They live in that skin, and walk amongst the living as one of them, killing and feeding, driven by their insatiable hatred. They derive no pleasure from killing, no satisfaction, no gratification, but it is how they are programmed and to go against that programming causes even more pain to them. There is no escape from it.

Akuma dress in the skin of humans, and walk amongst them.

Exorcists wear the robes of the Black Order with the Rose Cross.

They hide and wait.

We wait to die.

The innocence is my only friend. It is the only thing I can trust because I can not trust humans. I can not trust the people I meet. Everyone could be an Akuma. I need to assume that everyone is an Akuma. Because if I don't…I'm going to die.

That's why I hate it here. Here among the bustling streets of cities. I obliterated the entire population of a village in East Germany. The town had been turned into a nest of Akuma. Every one in it, was just a level one Akuma. I spent nearly nine hours there, speaking, laughing, joking, buying, eating with them. They were all Akuma.

And here I am now, tired, sweaty, dirty. Drudging through the streets of a city where a baby in a carriage can sprout a monster in a second. Where the smiling face of a pretty woman can produce the barrel of a gun loaded with poisonous bullets. How do I know? How do I know who is human?

My ears are always on edge. Listening for some sound, whether twisting flesh or the click of a gun being cocked. My muscles are tense. My eyes are flitting back and forth but I don't know why. They all look human to me. But how can I tell? How can I protect humans when I don't even know who's human anymore. How do I know I didn't destroy all the Akuma in the town next door only to walk into another nest of these horrid things.

Ka-

My arm flares to life. The innocence brightens and immediately my arm explodes into a giant scaly limb. It's pale white, like pearl, and thin and sickly looking. It's my weapon, and it's part of me.

-chak

It whips out, tearing first through flesh and then hitting metal with a resounding crunch. My eyes catch up with what I've done and I see the deformed body of a young boy crumple to the ground with a strangled moan. He's bleeding, but beyond the blood I can barely make out what seems to be a black skeleton. His face is distorted in a scream but I still catch the final few seconds of the gun barrel that protruded from his right eye melt away back into regular facial features.

"Oh my god…"

A horrified voice attracts my attention. The crowd is backing away now. Did they see it to? The Akuma? That's not good. To know about the Akuma is to become his target. Perhaps they didn't see. With any luck, they didn't see it.

"My son!"

A woman rushes forward and falls to the ground, cradling the Akuma's head.

"Oh god no! Not him too!" She looks up at me with tears streaking down her face. "I just lost my husband! Now my son?"

I glance again at the Akuma. This woman had lost her husband…and this skin belonged to her son? The pieces fell into place. It was usually something like this. A child lost a parent and wished for them to come back. Soon enough, the soul of their parent is trapped as an Akuma wearing their children's skin.

"You monster!"

I look down again at the woman. Monster?

"Me?"

She let's the boy's head down slowly, resting it on the street gently. Then she stands up. "Yes you! You're a monster! Call the police! Hurry!" She turns to the crowd which begins yelling, jeering, shouting at me. Hundreds of angry faces, all shouting at me. The woman backs away from me again, leaning down to gather the Akuma in her arms before shuffling away into the crowd.

The crowd keeps shouting things. Terrible insults. Murderer, freak, monster. Things about my arm. Insults that, even though I know they don't understand, still hurt. I'm still human. Words hurt. But what can I say? Even if I explain, none of them will believe me. This is mob mentality. And if anyone did…they would be targeted by him. I can't even defend myself.

"Officer! Right there!" The crowd parts and I see a finger pointing at me. Several men, police men look at me for a moment and then walk forward.

"You there! What the fuck are you?"

What am I? I'm human. Only human's can use the innocence. There's nothing else I could be. Don't they know that? What am I? I should be asking them that.

"I said what the fuck are you!" One of the men step forward. "Gimme an answer! Now!"

What can I say? What is he going to believe? Why should I even tell him? I just saved this town from the real monster. These people should be thanking me. Not threatening me and questioning me like this. I should just leave. Get out of here before things get out of hand.

"Alright buddy! Put your hands in the air! Both of 'em! The freaky one too!"

The freaky one? Dammit, show some respect. I don't deserve this.

"I said hands in the air!"

With a sneer, I turn my back on the man.

"That does it!"

Ka-

In an instant, I whirl around, arm extending, biting out like a snake.

chak

It whips forward, cutting into metal, then flesh…then…bone.

"Aaaagh!"

My arm retracts, the tips of my fingers covered in blood, human blood. The police officer stumbles back, his arm in tatters, ribbons of flesh and bone hanging off his elbow. A hand-gun falls and clatters on the cobblestone streets.

"Alfred!"

People are screaming now. The officer looks down at his ruined arm, screaming, tears streaming down his face. He was human. Oh god…he was human. And I did this to him.

"Quick! Shoot him before he kills us all!"

The other police men pull their gun's from their holsters.

"No!" my voice is high, it cracks as I yell. "Wait please! I don't mean any-!"

Ka-chak

The sound grates against my brain. It takes all of my self control not to attack the source of the sound. These people are just humans. Those are just guns.

BLAM

And again, and again. Bullets fly out at me. I watch them come. One, two…five in all. Each of them small, normal. Just like handgun bullets. Except…

I dodge the oncoming bullets and watch as they whiz by. One of them…was it really an Akuma bullet? Could there be another one?

"Shit! Shoot him again!"

Blamblamblamblamblamblam!

More bullets. So many of them…normal bullets…but…

Yes! There it is. A larger bullet flies past. On the very tip of it, a pentagram. More Akuma!

In a flash, I close the distance between me and the policemen. Which one of them is it? Which one is the Akuma? Is it just one? Maybe they're working together? Is it just a trick? Were they using the handguns to keep me off guard?

Ka-

Look first! I whirl around. There it is. One of the policemen, sprouting a barrel from his forehead. In a flash, my arm cleaves through it, killing the Akuma instantly.

Ka-

Another one? Yes! To the right, another policeman's face explodes outwards into the disgusting image of a fleshy gun. Even as I pierce through the flesh and machine that creates an Akuma, I hear the sound again from behind me. I turn and immediately see it. All of them. The remaining policemen are all grinning now, dark holes appearing all over their bodies where the guns are forming.

My arm is a blur, killing them all in a second. They fall to the ground, looking just like humans. Breathing heavily, I straighten up, waiting for the silence of the crowd to break and the jeers and insults to begin.

KA-CHAK

All around me, the entire crowd is smiling. Wide, inhuman smiles. Their bodies are contorted, flesh twisted and wrong. All of them wildly deformed as they morph into disgusting balls of flesh and machine.

Is this what they've been all along? Is this who I've been insulted by? Is this who I've been trying to protect? My body begins to move on its own, rushing into the crowd, tearing, ripping, dodging and cutting through the disgusting bodies. Who am I protecting? Humans? How can I be sure there are even any left? Two towns in a row and only one person was a real human. How many are left in the world now? How can I prove that there is anyone left.

Good god…am I the only one? Are we exorcists the only humans left on this planet. What are we fighting for then? Who am I fighting to protect? Myself? As my right arm shreds another Akuma into nothing, I feel a pit open in my stomach. What joy is there in living if it is in a world with only Akuma? What kind of world is that to live in? Who wants a world infested by evil? It's too late…human kind is gone…I…I'm the only one left.

They're dead now…all dead and gone. I stand in a heap of metal, flesh and tragedy. How can there be this many Akuma in the world? Has there been this much tragedy? Have people suffered this much that the entire world would become infested by these things.

There is a whimper. A small girl, couldn't be more than five years old, holding a stuffed bear shuffles out from the shade of a ruined house. She is crying.

Here too…tragedy has come. To watch her everyone she knew be turned into monsters…and then killed. This…is the world now. A world of machines and tragedies.

She comes closer, her nose running profusely, clutching her bear tightly. She's saying something, her words obscured by her sobs, but her message clear. Where did they go? What happened to my friends? To my family? I have nothing to say to her. This is the world she lives in. Me and her. The only two humans left in a world dominated by Akuma.

Ka-chak

To create an Akuma you need three things.

I glance up at the dark tunnel that stretches down toward me.

A machine.

A smile that contains no happiness spreads across the lips of the young girl.

A soul.

Even as the flesh twists and distorts, I couldn't help but see just how young she was.

And…

"So…" I smile. "What was your tragedy?"

BLAM