Disclaimer: Isn't high time we learned more about the Coyote? Isn't it? Then why did you kill him off Kubo-sensei? Why? Right as always my name is SLY and I do not own the Coyote or anything/anyone in BLEACH.

A/N The last time I played with the Coyote and the Berry was Around February. Here it is July and lookie lookie Coyote and the Berry. Woo hoo! Ahooo!

A/N 2 Since when does a one-shot have a prologue? Shrugs, since now.

Warnings: AU, StarrkxIchigo, others, OOC, Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation, Language, etc etc etc

For a very special artist/reader/reviewer: MISZXBRII

Summary: Sure-fire way to catch the berry: Pose as a Gardener?

CON ARTIST IS SUCH A STRONG WORD

Prologue

Sure something should have tipped him off when the sign read 'Lady Rangiku's Futuristic Readings' (for those with an open mind) but Coyote Starrk liked to consider himself an adventurous kind of man.

One who liked to dive nose first into things.

At age 25, he was single, bored and looking for a human heater-even though he himself was already pretty warm-okay so he was really looking for a tight ass to sink into but that sounded pretty tacky not to mention perverted so-

He pulled off his fedora and entered the tent.

()()()

Lady Rangiku looked to be in her early 30's. She also appeared to be a buxom ginger-champagne blonde with a bubbly personality.

'But really,' thought Starrk 'She doesn't have to try so hard. She could be even more attractive if she left a little to the imagination.'

Starrk wasn't here to offer the woman tips and tricks he was here to find out if there was love in his future.

()()()

Lady Rangiku covered her face with a scarf and then started humming. After a moment or two she lifted the scarf from her face and powder blue eyes met slate gray.

"I see a roof."

Starrk raised a brow. "A roof?"

"Yes and on this roof there is a young man."

Starrk wanted to ask her something about the roof but instead he found himself asking "Is he cute?"

Lady Rangiku smiled, "Very cute but he is currently frowning at the moment."

'I know a way to wipe that frown from his cute face' thought Starrk.

"Why is he frowning?"

The woman shook her head,

"The ball does not say but you must go to him."

"Go to him?"

Did that mean-?

"Where?"

"I am seeing…yes I am seeing a gardener-you must pose as a gardener to get this young man."

Well Starrk has never been much of an actor but perhaps Lilinette, who is majoring in drama, could give him a few pointers.

"Are you telling me to change my appearance?"

He wanted to be perfectly clear on everything.

"No. Change nothing well except for your underwear of course but the ball tells me that you already change your under wear every day so-"

Okay apparently Lady Rangiku was also a shameless flirt.

"When should I approach this young man?"

Lady Rangiku grinned at Starrk. "Soon."

"Soon? How soon?"

"Today if possible. Yes you must drive by his house."

"And where is his house?"

"The ball tells me that the young man lives near a health club, yes and this health club is an exclusive one. I am seeing…yes this young man works out at this health club on weekends."

There were many health clubs in Seireitei. Starrk needed the woman to be a little more descriptive then that.

"What does this health club look like? What is it called?"

"It is white with many doors," a pause "I am seeing…three men now. One has silver hair, the second has an aristocratic face and the third, ah it seems the third man is thinking about the same young man that you yourself are about to meet."

Starrk wasn't violent but if something or someone would try to come between him and his human heater-he would not just stand back and-

"Competition?"

"No the ball does not spell competition but yes the youth has many admirers."

"And posing as a gardener will win him over?"

It was very strange but perhaps he'd-

"He is very fond of roof tops and gardens."

"Why?"

"He spends a lot of his time there."

"Planting flowers, panting roof tiles, that sort of thing?"

"I can not tell you that, you will see for yourself."

"What is his name?"

This was probably a question Starrk should've asked from the start but-

"I am seeing…something with a K-yes a K!"

Something about the way her eyes shifted and the way her voice went up another notch told Starrk that the woman knew more than she was revealing.

"Last name or first?"

"The ball can not answer that question." A perfectly manicured hand came over 'said' ball.

"Why not?"

"It is foggy but perhaps if you give me a back rub I can find the answer."

It wasn't the first time Starrk had been hit on by a woman. And (like the average man) he had fooled around with one or two in the past and found that they were more trouble then they were worth. Still perhaps he would consider if-

"Lady Rangiku if I agree and I am not saying that I will but if I agree to your terms do you promise to tell me everything I need to know?"

He was going to do whatever it took to get a proper reading for surprise, surprise it seemed the woman had some talent.

"I will not only tell you everything," a playful wink. "I'll take you there."

"Take me there?"

This was beginning to sound a lot like-

"Of course. This young man is a former student of mine."

Well Starrk certainly hadn't seen that one coming.

"Student?"

"Ah ah now now first you get over here and the I'll tell you the rest."

She looked like she wanted to devour him now. Only the itty bitty table and the crystal ball was separating them.

"Very well but just a massage."

Powder blue eyes danced "Of course," a smile "After all one must never over step professional boundary lines."

TO BE CONCLUDED

A/N No this is not A StarrkxMatsumoto Story. And No they DID NOT get all hot and heavy in that tiny little tent.

It is quite simple. Rangiku is a shameless flirt who loves MEN. If she is leading Starrk to his 'human heater' aka ICHIGO then she wants something in return.

If this does not appeal to you, then do not stick around for the rest.

THANK YOU FOR READING

~SLY~