"Wallace" she mumbled into his shoulder, his arms still strongly wrapped around her. He kissed her cheek softly, tasting the salty tears that stained her face. She nuzzled her head further into his shoulder, the familiar smell sandalwood and Amber filling her nostrils. He raked his hands through her hair, peppering her face with kisses.
"It's okay Hayes, I'm here" he reassured her, stroking her back gently. She pulled her head off his shoulder, looking deeply into his eyes.
"I'm sorry, I can't do this. I'm sorry" she apologized, pulling away from him and half walking, half running to the door She grabbed a bottle off the counter to her side as she pulled it open and went through it, briefly looking back to see him frozen in place. She ran down the stairs, the wood creaking below her feet, threatening to give in at any moment. A white mist covered the fields that she ran through, going towards the lake that was nearby. She could hear Wallace's footsteps behind her, his breathing heavy as he tried to catch up. The mud squelched under her feet, still wet from where it rained earlier in the day. She reached the side of the lake, slowing down to a halt, looking out at the blackness. It was quite eerie really, it fit the day well. She was done with everything. This job, everything going on with Wallace, her mother. Everything was just too much, it wasn't worth it anymore. She took a swig out of the bottle, the unmistakable taste of whiskey burned as it slid down her throat.
"Hayes" he said gently, placing a hand on her shoulder and trying to turn her around, away from the lake. She resisted, but closed her eyes at the touch, exhaling gently.
"I can't do this Wallace" she admitted, still facing away from him. He took her hand, tugging gently at her arm. She slowly turned to face him, tears streaming down her face. He wiped them away gently with his thumb, cupping her cheek as he did.
"Hayes, look at me" he said softly, trying to raise her chin.
"NO!" She yelled, pulling away from him harshly.
"Hayes, please, calm down" he pleaded, but didn't reach out to her again, staying where he was.
"NO! Earl shouldn't have died, he was INNOCENT, AND…AND HE DIED ANYWAY!" She screamed, her voice breaking as she did.
"I know, it was awful, it shouldn't have happened." He said calmly, knowing that he needed to calm down Hayes before she did something she would regret.
"HE SHOULDN'T HAVE DIED. HE HAS DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM" she cried hysterically, pacing and drinking as she did
"Hayes, please, just give me the bottle and come back to the room and we can talk" he begged.
"IF ANYONE DESERVES TO DIE IT SHOULD BE ME! I SLEPT WITH MULTIPLE STUDENTS AND DIDN'T EVEN GET FIRED. I GOT A GREAT JOB FOR BEING CAUGHT WITH COCAINE IN MY PURSE. I SHOULD BE IN JAIL, I'VE MESSED UP EVERYTHING. EARL DID NOTHING TO DESERVE WHAT HE GOT, I HAVE! What else do I have to live for? No one cares about me." She said, her voice cracking at the end, ending up in a small whisper and taking a drink out of the bottle in her hand.
"Don't say that Hayes. Lots of people care about you." He tried, taking her hand and pulling her closer to him.
"Yeah? Like who? NAME ONE PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT ME!" She yelled, tears streaming down her face again.
"Your team, your brother, even your mother in her weird way" he tried to convince her.
"Yeah right, my mother couldn't care less about me." She said, turning around and taking another drink from the bottle of whiskey.
"I care about you. I have always and will always care about you Hayes. I promise you that I will always care about you, and that I will never leave you" he reassured her.
"You do?" She mumbled, turning around and looking at him. He took her hand again, rubbing the back of it gently with his thumb.
"You know I do, you know I always have. I've loved you Hayes, heck, I still do. There is nothing you can do that would make me stop loving you. You know that, please, just give me the bottle" he said, holding out his hand that wasn't holding hers.
"Yeah, okay" she whispered, handing him the bottle. He set it down on the ground next to him, taking both her hands when he rose back up.
"Hayes, look at me." He said, his voice full of compassion. She raised her head slightly, looking at his face, her eyes full of tears.
"Hey" she said sheepishly, trying to wipe away her tears with her sleeve.
"Come here" he told her, pulling her closer and wrapping his arms around her. She immediately melted into the embrace, letting her tears fall freely on his shoulder. He stroked her hair gently, kissing the top of her head every now and then.
"What's the point?" She mumbled into his shoulder quietly
"Of what? Life?" He asked, confused. She nodded silently, only a small sob escaping her lips.
"I don't know Hayes, but what I do know is that you're a very important part of my life and I don't know what I'd do without you." He told her gently.
"Really?" she asked, lifting her head off his shoulder and looking at him.
"Really" he confirmed, kissing her forehead.
"Thank you" she said, kissing his cheek softly. A piece of hair fell across her face as she pulled back. He brushed it back behind her ear, cupping her face with his hands. Her skin was ice cold under his hands, causing him to shiver slightly.
"You're freezing Hayes" he commented, causing him to pull her even closer. At the comment she shivered, wrapping her arms around his torso.
"Thank you Conner, for everything." She said, bringing her face closer to him.
"You know, that's the first time you've called me that in years" he told her, bringing his face closer as well. Their lips were inches apart, so close that they could see every small movement, every twitch.
"Conner? Well I thought it was fitting" she said, laughing slightly.
"Fitting?" he asked, curious.
"Yes Conner, fitting" she joked, rolling her eyes slightly.
"What do you mean by fitting?" he questioned.
"You know exactly what I mean" she said quietly.
"Yes, I do" he murmured. He bent down even further, brushing her lips with his own. She returned the kiss, pressing firmly onto his lips. She tugged at his hair, like she always did when they kissed, it was like second nature to her now. His wrapped his arms around her tighter, stroking her back as he intensified the kiss. He could taste the tears that had trickled onto her lips, yet they were still soft. She cried even harder as they kissed, all the feelings she had pushed back for years, supressed, came rushing back to the surface. The comfort she felt when he kissed her, made her more vulnerable than ever, and she couldn't help but cry, letting out everything. He pulled away from her and she buried her head in his shoulder once more, dampening his coat where the tears dripped off her face. He held her tightly as she cried, stroking her hair, letting her know he was there. They stood like that for a while, her crying and him comforting her. At some point he led her back to her room, where he tucked her under the covers and lay with her, his arms still firmly wrapped around her. She fell asleep like that and he next morning she woke up like that, somehow feeling at peace with everything that had happened the previous day.