You're going to have to read Weird Texas for any of this to really make sense. I've been told it's worth investing your time and effort in though. This is AU for Taker and his crew, and floats somewhere between comic verse and movie verse Hellboy. I'm a fan of both, so all discrepancies are made with the mind relaxed and attentive. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Disclaimer: I own neither Hellboy or the Undertaker. No profit being made here.
Chapter 1 - A Minor C(r)ock Up
Mark was sitting at a table covered with crumpled up bills and playing cards with Bradshaw and Farooq when the wolf at his feet pricked up her ears and let out a low "wuff". Her eyes were fixed on the darkness beyond the back porch which was screened in to keep out the bugs.
"So go after it." Mark said to the wolf. "You know how to open the door." He tossed down two cards and signalled Bradshaw for two more. He'd had a door with a two way hinge so that it could be open with the push of a snout if need be. The wolf got to her feet and let out another wuff into the darkness, and her tail started wagging back and forth. Mark scanned his new cards and tried to hide his disappointment. No way was he going to win this hand. The wolf vocalized again, and Mark looked down at her. "What is it, Perdy?"
"Company." The wolf said in a cheerful manner. She made for the door, nudged it open and vanished into the night.
"Don't you hate it when people show up unannounced?" Bradshaw asked.
"You do all the time... and suck me into poker games that I lose because I'm a terrible liar." Mark retorted and glared at Bradshaw.
"You can lie when you've got enough reason to. Maybe the pot isn't rich enough yet." Bradshaw said. Mark gave him the finger. Bradshaw and Farooq both started chuckling.
They turned their heads when they heard a muffled "Hey" from the murk and another short wuff from the wolf. The bark was in the 'happy' category instead of the 'danger' category, so the poker game continued.
"So, who is it?" Farooq asked after he'd called. Mark tossed down his cards in defeat, rolled his eyes and then focused into the middle distance of the inky black night.
Bradshaw cleaned up his winnings quietly, but with a smirk on his face. Mark's sour expression changed in an instant. "It's Red." He muttered quietly and got to his feet, forgetting the game for now. He followed the direction the wolf had taken.
"Why do you think he insists on losing when he can read our damn minds if he wants?" Bradshaw asked philosophically while he collected cards for the next deal.
"No idea, man. No idea. Lord knows I'd be using it to every advantage." Farooq replied.
Mark stepped carefully out into the garden. He and Jacqueline had discussed lighting the path, but felt it was better for the bugs and everything else to follow their natural rhythm. He let his eyes adjust as much as they could, and with his mind politely asked the wolf for the path she'd taken. She happily obliged and he was there in moments.
He found Hellboy seated at the base of an old oak tree. The wolf was beside him, licking his cheek and wagging her tail.
"Hey, Red." Mark said softly.
"Hey Mark." Hellboy replied. His voice was rusty and exhausted.
"What brings you here?" Mark asked. "Especially here here. We do have a front door, you know."
"Most direct path from where I came from... And I'm on vacation." Hellboy said. Mark eyed the gear that Hellboy carried attached to his belt and the old messenger bag over his shoulder.
"You look pretty well supplied. Camping?" Mark teased.
"Hell no. I love not camping. I have declared an official vacation before I report back to H.Q. I've been fighting this hag witch for the past week on and off all over the damn bayou. She had a population of gators under her thrall." Hellboy said. "I think I finally finished it now, so I'm taking a break. A very long break."
"Shit, man. Are you okay?" Mark asked and started to get close. The smell of swamp permeated his nose, wet, musky and decaying.
"Oh, I'm okay I suppose. Except for them." Hellboy pointed behind him. Mark looked beyond the tree and down into the lower part of the garden where the pond was. The moonlight allowed him to see at least twenty log shapes lying there, still and silent. But Mark had spent enough time in Louisiana now to pick out a gator when he saw one.
"That's a lot of gators." Mark said cautiously.
"The followed me home, mom." Hellboy said with a sigh. "Nearest I can figure is that I killed the old broad and now I've inherited them."
"Possible. There are some aspects of voodoo where one takes the power of someone they kill... But that's dark dark dark stuff. That kind of voodoo is usually reserved for the criminally insane." Mark said. "And that's not even getting into zombies."
"Oh, the hag was definitely criminally insane all right. The rumour that brought me down here is that she was taking people's adolescent sons to cover unpaid debts and make her own gator army." Hellboy explained.
"Fuck." Mark murmured. "So, Soylent Gators are made of people?" Hellboy chuckled despite himself.
"That's the rumour. It's why I didn't shoot any of them." Hellboy said.
"You old softie." Mark replied.
"Anyways, you know someone who might be able to help a brother out?"
"I might. But first, you want a shower and a beer?" Mark asked.
"God, yes. But then you might have gators following me into your humble abode." Hellboy said
"You killed the witch, right?" Mark asked.
"Think so, pretty sure."
"Then they are your gators now. You tell them where to go and what to do." Mark reasoned.
"Ah, that makes sense." Hellboy said. He gave the wolf another pat on the head and got to his feet. The gators started to rumble and move. "Hey! At ease and stand easy boys. Relax here until I get back. We're all safe here." Hellboy assured. The gators calmed. "Good trick." He said, and he and Mark followed the wolf back to the house.
Mark announced to Bradshaw and Farooq that he was done playing for the night, and that they were to spread the word that everyone was to stay the hell away from the pond until further notice. He then asked Bradshaw to rustle up a huge amount of whole chickens first thing in the morning and have them delivered.
Bradshaw gave a nod to welcome Hellboy and then gave Mark a sideways look. "Seriously?"
"Got a bit of a gator infestation at the moment, and until I figure out what's been done to them and how to fix it, it's in our best interest to look after them. And except for Perdy of course, keep all pets and familiars in the house too." Mark added as an afterthought. He then took Hellboy upstairs to get him settled.
After Hellboy had showered he found an extra set of shorts that had been kept mostly dry in his supposedly waterproof kit bag, and went back downstairs to the library. Mark and Jacqueline were already there, gathered around an expansive desk, on a conference call to Jacqueline's mother. "He's here now, Marie. You can ask him yourself." Mark said.
"Mr. Hellboy, I hope you've been well since we last met." She said. Her voice crackled slightly over the speaker phone.
"Oh, all the usual levels of wellness I guess." Hellboy replied. "Aside from my current gator problem of course. And yourself?" He was getting used to the fact that down south niceties had to be attended to before anything could really get done.
"Quite well, Mr. Hellboy." She said. Hellboy would have normally corrected someone on calling him mister, but from Marie, it sounded right for whatever reason. Must have been the accent. "Did you take any talisman from the witch?" She asked.
"Not that I know of. I found her lair by some miracle, wrestled a couple of gators to get there and then finished the job as quickly as possible with the Samaritan. Then the gators got real quiet and I started walking out of there. I'd gone about a mile when I was sure that they were following me, I even back tracked, but they didn't attack me. So I came here, figuring that you folks were my best bet to sort this out."
"And you're sure you took nothing of hers?" Marie asked.
"Ma'am, her house was in flaming pieces when I left... I walked outta that swamp just happy to be doing so. So happy that I only noticed I had a gator's tooth embedded in my thigh just as I got here. I'd just finished yanking it out when the wolf trotted up to me and started licking my cheek." Hellboy explained.
Mark and Jacqueline became very still and Marie was silent on the other end of the line. Hellboy furrowed his already prominent brow at them.
"Dammit." He cursed. "Really? It was the stupid tooth?"
"Quite possibly. Where is the tooth now?" Marie asked.
"I dunno. I tossed it." Hellboy said. Jacqueline looked over at Perdita who was stretched out on an over-sized dog bed.
"Perdita, would you please go find it? You see the best in the dark." She said. The wolf got to her feet, stretched and was off, her nails clicking on the hard floors.
"You sure she's okay out there with all those gators?" Hellboy asked.
"Unless you command them to attack, they probably won't waste their energy. Let's just hope they've been well fed up until now." Mark said. Hellboy glared at Mark, who smiled and then set his mind at ease. "She can move faster than any natural wolf, Red, and she's damn cunning. She'll be fine."
Marie made arrangements to be there first thing in the morning with enough people assembled to hopefully take care of the problem. As they did this, Hellboy sat in the large wing back chair Mark had left there for him. It really was an amazingly comfortable chair. So comfortable in fact that he felt his head slump to the left, and didn't fight falling into an exhausted sleep.
To be continued...