Chapter 1: to evict a stranger

AN: I've been reading these fanfictions and I couldn't help but write my own tell me how bad it is cause otherwise, I don't know. If this is the first of my stories you've read you can go ahead and skip all of my authors notes from here, on out no one will blame you. They usually have nothing to do with the story and are basically my informal and public journal entries. As if you'd want to hear about my tortured life. Furthermore most of the time I just go on tangent after tangent after tangent. Arriving at a point of telling you exactly how close the knife is to my neck turning you off the story before you ever began. At this point, if you're still reading you probably wish you'd have taken my advice. But if you liked what you read tell me in the reviews so that I can provide you with much more as the story progresses. Be sure to follow, favourite, and review or the author will never know you appreciate them.

Star and Marco were walking about the school. Star was extremely worried and Marco was trying to be reassuring. "C'mon Star it's not that bad."

"Not that bad? They took my wand, Marco. They took my wand!"

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have been using it to cheat on that test."

"Marco this is bigger than some dumb test what if Ludo finds out that I don't have it and tries to take it while I'm not there to stop him?"

"It's with miss Skullnick I doubt anyone would even think of taking her on after she used her battle axe as a fly swatter."

"But Ludo has lots of monsters and the last time she saw them she started dating one."

"And he dumped her. You think she can't learn from her mistakes?"

"Yeah... I guess you're right..."

"It'll be fine." Upon reaching his locker he saw Jackie slowly and tiredly ride up to him. Star, forgetting about her own problems for a second, said, "what's wrong Jackie?"

"You guys deal with weird magic stuff all the time right?" They nodded and she continued, "this guy randomly appeared one day in my room he's been floating around the ceiling ever since and I can't get rid of him."

"What has he done to you?"

"Nothing. I just can't sleep when I know he's there."

"Has he said anything to you since he got there?"

"Yea he said 'good morning' the first time I saw him and 'hi' every time I came home after."

"How long has he been at your place?"

"A few days maybe... I figured if I never talked to him he'd lose interest and go away."

"You uh... you need some help with that?"

"Could you that would be..." she fell asleep mid sentence and Marco caught her with his face showing his mixed feelings. On the one hand, the girl he's had a crush on since forever was finding comfort in sleeping in his arms. On the other hand, someone had thought unwittingly, inconvenienced her and she had no control over her body shutting down from sleep deprivation. Star and Marco locked eyes for a moment and then said in unison, "we have to help her" at this point Marco had started carrying her bridal style and Star had all but forgotten about her wand. With purpose, they strode out of the building only for Star to get distracted and start flirting with Oscar. Marco arrived at Jackie's house five minutes ahead of Star despite having to carry Jackie, her skateboard, and two backpacks. Upon arriving at Jackie's house she woke up and began staring at him silently as they waited for him to work up the courage to knock. He began mumbling to himself trying to figure out what one says in this kind of situation only for Jackie to get tired of waiting and weakly reach for her keys. He felt her shift in his arms and looked down to see her trying to get her hand in her pocket. He quickly said, "oh good...you're awake. Do think you can stand?"

"I don't feel like it."

"...so...what 'cha doin'"

"Getting my keys. Cause you're not man enough to knock on a door."

"I'm man enough!"

"So do it."

"I will!" But before he could the door opened and her mum glared half annoyed at Marco. Only to ask, "why are you carrying my daughter?"

"She fell asleep standing up at School after telling us she needed help"

"... follow-up question, who's us?"

"Me and Star."

"And where's she?"

"She's... um..."

"I'm here! I'm here" came her voice as she ran up to them, "sorry I'm late. I just got distracted by my favourite musician"

"Actually you came earlier than expected what, did he start playing 'We are number one'?"

"Actually Marco I remembered what we were doing earlier... the fact that he started playing that has nothing to do with it..."

"That's a good song"

"No Jackie it isn't, you're just out of it because you haven't slept these last few days."

"So that's what this is about, Jackie hadn't been able to sleep because now she has a boyfriend keeping her up at night" her mother's comment made the faces of both Marco and Jackie turn red only for Star to say, "I don't get it" causing her to grin matter of factly as the dreading duo turned even redder, miming for her to shut up only for the sadistic mother to say, "for you see young Star. Here on earth when two people start dating they begin doing things that require more and more energy until they end up asleep in the same bed tired naked and gasping for air"

"Mum stop"

"I still don't get it. What exactly do they do?"

"Damn it Star!"

"For you see..."(cue groan)"when a man feels unending pressure in his balls and a woman loves that man she allows him to use her body to relieve that pressure by placing his in hers and going six ways till Sunday." At this point Marco had walked away, feeling thoroughly traumatised, with Jackie quietly thanking him with every step he took. About three blocks away they could hear Star yelling. "Marco if that's all you wanted I'd have let you! You don't need to leave the house to do that anymore!" At this, he began running and Jackie couldn't help but chuckle. Eventually, Star caught up and said, "wait *gasping for air* what about the guy"

"Marco said I could sleep with him in his bed tonight."

"No, I di-"

"Yea he totally wants to spend the night with me in his arms."

"Marco is that true?"

"I just sa-"

"Of course it's true Star would I lie to you?"

"But that's not-"

"Are you saying you don't want to sleep with me? C'mon Marco the only sleep I've gotten so far has been in your arms if you wanna take that away from me you'll have to evict the guy in my room."

"Ooo Marco Jackie's mum was cool she taught me more about your earth culture."

"Fine, I wanted to have two awkward conversations in one day anyway" they continued on their way to Marco's house and upon arriving Mr and Mrs Diaz questioned him as to why he'd brought another girl home with him. After explaining the situation, his parents exchanged a look and looked back at him smiling and encouragingly told him that if he'd gone and gotten some strange girl pregnant they'd be happy to lie and say the child was Marco's sibling. Two minutes and a bowl of nachos later the three classmates were sleeping on the couch with the tv flickering.

The next morning was full of surprises. Jackie was the first to wake up, to the sound of metal striking wood. She'd have bolted up if not for the second surprise. She was not on the couch where she remembered falling asleep but rather in a bed with Marco's still sleeping face turned to her. Her plan at this point was to freak him out when he awoke, so she began climbing onto him only to find that Star was also in the bed. Then she realised what probably happened. Mr and Mrs Diaz found them all asleep on the couch nestled so closely together on their cold winter's night together and decided it best to let them be together for warmth if nothing else.

Jackie noticed something else. Apparently, Star's favourite way to sleep was in the fetal position with her wand in her mouth but now that the school had taken it away until further notice she was out one wand. To cut this explanation short she was sucking Marco's thumb and tightly wound around his arm. So rather than climb onto him and straddle his waist, potentially breaking his arm in the process, as she originally planned to do, she took his free hand and held onto it tightly enough to wake him with two conflicting sensations. On his right was Star mumbling to herself with his thumb in her mouth. On his left was Jackie who had his hand between her legs and his shoulder between her... well you do the math.

As Jackie pretended to sleep Marco was left to ponder, just what the hell happened last night. He moved to wake Star only for Jackie to squeeze his arm tighter. When he tried to wake Jackie, Star bit him. Finding that he was unable to use his arms he decided to use his head... in the most literal way. He used his nose to poke the back of Star's neck but instead of stirring her from her sleep, it made her stretch out onto Marco. She was now lying on top of him with his thumb still trapped between her teeth.

Not that he didn't like the smell of Star's hair, or the sensation of her small frame pressed tightly onto his, but as a chivalrous man, or So he thought, this was too much and as he tried to remember what they did the night before his head was filled with fantasies that only served to horrify him. Then Jackie tried to pull his attention back to her by nibbling on his ear. He immediately turned his head only find himself locking lips with the girl of his dreams. Both of their cheeks flared red but Jackie soon turned her expression of embarrassment into a cheeky grin, "so you do remember what happened last night." She lied. As he struggled to understand the pretence of her implication a deep serial voice seeming to come from everywhere at once answered for him, "how can you expect him to remember while you cloud his head with thoughts of fornication and polygamy?" At this Star sat up putting more pressure on Marco's lap than need be. "Good morning" the voice called out again.

Afterword: sorry to cut this short but there's just too much going on in my personal life. If you want me to feel like I'm appreciated you can follow/favourite me, if you want to see where this is going you can follow/favourite the story. If you know where to find the will to live you can review "I'VE GOT THE ANSWER" in all caps or if you want me to die you can do none of that and I'll get the message. And if you want to beta read my story that's cool too my brother quit on me and now I have nobody to check for mistakes... On this story... specifically... people have offered their assistance for a couple of my other stories.