Just a little something I started long ago, and just recently picked up again and finished. Not really something I want to think about ever happening, but with Calleigh…who knows. Any kind of feedback would be immensely appreciated; even a little bit can do wonders to encourage a writer. :) As always, nothing recognizable is owned by me.
The night had settled in quickly, the darkness chasing the last of the storm clouds out to sea, leaving a sky full of stars in its wake. The moon hung low on the horizon, casting a gentle glow that not even the endless sea of manmade Miami light could drown out. A soft breeze blew through the night, carrying with it the calming saltiness of the ocean, as well as the remnants of the earlier rain. It was cool, not cold, but still it was enough to raise tiny goosebumps over Calleigh's uncovered arms.
She breathed in deeply, letting a sense of calm, the first in days, wash over her. The tranquil night was quite the sweet reprieve, and not just from the thunder and lightning that had plagued much of the last week. The weather had mirrored the storms inside; the skies darkening and the wind howling when this seemingly unending case had reached its lowest point, and now, finally drifting out to sea as the case finally came to a close. Calleigh had never been so relieved to solve a case. Finally she could go home and relax with a hot bath before slipping beneath the covers and into blissful sleep. After maybe five full hours of sleep in as many days, she couldn't wait to get home.
But for now, she held herself back. Standing on the steps in front of the lab, she closed her eyes and simply let the calmness of night flow through her, for the moment letting down the guard she spent so much energy keeping up. For one moment she simply let her eyes close and her mind tune out. For once she let herself relax and let time slip by her, without having to analyze the meaning of each and every second. It left her blissfully lost to the world, enough so that she never even heard his soft footsteps growing louder behind her.
"It's a beautiful night," he said quietly, his eyes immediately catching Calleigh's badly concealed jump. He'd startled her, and he couldn't help giving a small smirk. Barely lifting his feet from the ground, he slipped past her, keeping a safe distance away.
Calleigh gave a tiny smile, looking away. She couldn't believe she'd let him sneak up on her; even now, relaxed or not, she always knew when he was near her. Sheer reflex laced with something more oftentimes had her reaching out to him before her mind ever processed it. If not for the distance he steadfastly kept between them, Calleigh knew it would be oh so easy to simply fall into his arms.
But no longer was it guaranteed that he would catch her. And Calleigh couldn't blame him in the slightest if he didn't.
Apprehensively she crossed her arms, feeling his eyes on her just as acutely as in the past. "Yeah," she replied softly, keeping her own eyes on the ground. "It is." The trace of relaxation she'd found just moments before had slipped from her grasp, leaving only extremely palpable tension in its wake. She shuffled her feet, as always unable to keep from squirming under the intensity of his gaze.
Eric nodded absently, fidgeting slightly with his hands before crossing his own arms across his chest. There was no other emotion for it: he hated this. The tension, the distance, the utter wrongness. After a week like this, he should've been taking her home and keeping her in his arms for the entire weekend, afraid to let her go.
But it didn't work out that way.
Were it any other situation, Eric might've been able to convince himself that it never worked out because it was for the best. But this…he simply failed to see how this could possibly be for the best. He'd had the best and lost it.
Bitterly he shoved his hands in his pockets, tearing his eyes away from Calleigh. Instead he turned his gaze to the sky, the soft light of the moon transporting him to another night, so long ago. A smile briefly touched his lips, and he lowered his head, sighing deeply. Those nights were gone. All that remained was the stinging pain of what if; the deafening echo of why.
Shaking his head slightly, Eric turned away from her, his feet falling heavily on the steps as he started down the steps. "You know," he murmured, slowing his steps only slightly. "Under another moon, we might've had something."
Calleigh's breath caught in her throat, and she looked to him in surprise. It was the first time either of them had given voice to it. Anxiously she bit her lip, feeling a stab of hurt when he glanced back to her, his eyes unreadable.
He paused, only long enough for her to think about a reply. Not long enough for her to lend her voice to that reply. Shaking his head again, he forced a smile, not looking at her as he slowly headed down the steps, walking away from her. "Night, Cal," he said quietly, neither warmly nor coolly. The lack of emotion on his voice sounded strange even to him; he'd always worn his heart on his sleeve. It had gotten him hurt before, but he'd always bounced back, never really learning his lesson.
Until he'd ended up with his heart scattered in tiny jagged pieces on the floor. Until he'd given everything, only to have what he'd received in return yanked out from under him. As he walked away from her, Eric lowered his eyes, training them on the path before him, away from the sky. That night had been one quite like tonight, and, feeling that with every inch of him, he found himself unable to regard the moon without a bitter scowl.
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Soft moonlight filtered in through the open window, bringing with it the warm, salty breeze from the ocean. The curtains billowed softly, gently echoing the far off sound of the waves against the shore. But none of these sounds could sound as sweet to Eric as the soft sighs escaping Calleigh's lips as he worshipped her body. Bathed in the gentle glow of the moon, she looked like an angel, and Eric smiled softly down at her, again amazed that he had her. Amazed and ever thankful.
He peppered soft kisses over her body, leaving her shivering and pleading for more. But he was reluctant to give in; knowing it was he who had her lying flushed and wanton on the bed beneath him was quite the high in itself. He ghosted the lightest of touches across her abdomen, taking pleasure in the way she trembled in anticipation, his name falling from her lips.
"You're so beautiful," he murmured, his lips tracing along her collarbone before finding their way to her neck and sliding upward still. Calleigh cried out softly as he kissed along her jaw line, squirming beneath him as he found the sensitive patch of skin just below her ear. He breathed in deeply, intoxicated by her scent.
She felt the warmth of his breath by her ear, and she shivered slighly, reaching for him and directing his lips to hers. He kissed her once softly before pulling back, gazing down into her eyes as he brushed a strand of hair away from her forehead before his lips were drawn once more to her silky skin. "I'm falling even more in love with you," he whispered, placing gentle kisses over her cheeks, her lips.
The words brought Calleigh's world to a stop, and she tensed beneath him, her eyes flying open. She tried desperately to catch her breath, but that attempt was foiled as Eric's lips closed over her own, his thumb gently caressing her cheek.
She could've just let it go. She could've brushed it off; she could've gone with it. She could've ignored the cold feeling that had dropped into her stomach at his words and simply concentrated on the feel of his lips on hers; his touch on her body.
But part of her couldn't let go. She couldn't let go of that control; the very thought of it scared her to death. This thing with Eric…it did mean a lot to her. It was the most important thing in her life. It was just the simple thought of love that brought it all crashing down around her.
When she found her voice, it came out hoarsely. "Can we not…" she paused, licking her dry lips. She met his eyes, but only once she was sure that she was sufficiently guarded. "Can we not talk about love right now?"
A flash of surprise shot through Eric's eyes, quickly followed by hurt. He'd expected her not to reciprocate; that was Calleigh. He'd, in his wildest, happiest dreams, thought about the possibility of hearing her say it back.
He'd never expected this. The hollow sound in her voice; the emptiness in her previously bright eyes, obvious to him despite the walls that had suddenly gone back up.
She couldn't stand the look in his eyes; it was almost a look of betrayal. It tore her heart to pieces. Unable to watch him any longer, she pulled him down to her, and he obliged, kissing her deeply. He tried to push it away, but the nagging feeling at the back of his mind would not be silenced. Something had changed for her; something was different, and Eric couldn't understand what.
All he'd done was speak from his heart; a confession seven months in the making. She felt the same, did she not?
She had to. Seven months couldn't be for nothing.
It was what he told himself as he slowly, reverently made love to her, trying to hold on to her as long as possible. Soft kisses he continued placing on her lips, feeling her respond hungrily, though her passion belied the faraway look in her eyes.
She whispered his name as her body trembled beneath him, her climax sparking his own. But the waves that rushed over him were like nothing he'd ever felt with her before. Being with her had never failed to leave him feeling utterly complete, but tonight, that sweet release had left him with an aching emptiness. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, breathing her in and hoping, just hoping he was wrong.
He felt her fingers threading through the short hair at the base of his neck, the slight shaking in her fingers telling him everything he needed to know.
Except, of course, how seven months could dissolve into nothing with eight simple words.
It was the question he'd never find the answer to.
All he knew now was that eight words had been far too much. He'd pushed too far, despite knowing it would close her down and drive her away. He knew he should've known better; he knew Calleigh far too well not to know what would happen next. Eight words, spoken from his heart in a moment of passion, might have just cost him everything.
He was left with
desperation; his feelings were out there, and there was nothing more to lose.
Eight words might have just broken the best thing he'd ever had. If that much of his heart was in the open, what difference would it make if he put the rest out there?
"I mean it, Calleigh. I love you."
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He'd scared her. Nothing more, nothing less. She wasn't afraid of being with him; she'd gone through seven months of that and loved every moment of it. What scared her; what made her run the other way was the idea of being loved by him. The idea that maybe she was falling too, and didn't have any control of it whatsoever.
She had to regain that control, and there was only one way she knew how to do that.
At the time, it had been for the best; she kept telling herself.
That very next morning, with eight words of her own, she had put an end to those seven months. With eight words and no more explanation, she had walked away without looking back.
"I don't think we should do this anymore."
But on this night, as he walked away from her, Calleigh would have given anything for him to look back. She missed him immensely; if only she could go back to that night and make things right.
Because as much as it once scared her to fall in love with him, for him to love her, it scared her that much more now that she was without that. She'd give anything just to slip back to another time, to a night under another moon.
Under another moon, they'd had something. They'd had everything.
But unlike the moon that now rose in the night sky, theirs was a moon that had long ago slipped below the horizon, away and out of sight.
And unlike the current moon, theirs would not soon rise again.