author's note: i just wanted to make a quick little oneshot about the once-ler's high school love life. i don't really ship him with anyone, but i couldn't help myself in wondering how a family as stereotypically southern/bible belt as his would react to him being gay, and maybe a small glimpse into why romance is never really brought up in the once-ler's story. don't take this too seriously... oh, and as a small aside, his name is The Once Ler. his first name was meant to be "Theo," but there was a typo on his birth certificate his family couldn't be assed to fix. Once is his middle name and Ler is the family name- he's referred to as "Mr. Once-Ler" because Mr. Ler is his father and it leaves a bad taste in his mother's mouth. Once is usually how people refer to him because his mother uses his middle name when chastising him and it just sort of stuck after so much repeated use. yep. sorry about the drabble there.
It was the best day of his life when Henry Williams had asked him out. The teenager had giggled and teetered on his feet, quietly lisping a "yes~" as the two made their way to band practice. Of course, just like any homosexual relationship in such a conservative, religious town, the two boys had sworn it to secrecy. Their relationship was composed in song lyrics and guitars and flutes and french horns. On weekend nights in the summer, the teenagers would get together in the old corn field, where the tall, gangly one had hidden a guitar and sang into the crisp night sky, fireflies dancing in tandem with the boys below them. Moonlight and buglight danced off of skin, mocha and pale, golds and blues dancing on their lips as they brought them together.
The Once-ler would find himself sore and exhausted on Sunday mornings, and at times struggled with his chores, but chickens still got fed and he hadn't considered skipping his Saturday night retreats with Henry. It never even crossed his mind, even when school had started and he found himself sleeping in class, a small smile on his lips. He was still smarter than his brothers, though it wasn't a difficult feat in the least, and his work got done all the same. He'd grown rather fond of his schedule- he would only meet the older boy in the hallways on occasion, and when they practiced in band class together.
No one else seemed to have caught on, spare for a few of Henry's open-minded friends, who would keep an eye out for the two lovers. Most everyone seemed to have assumed the two to be friends, though certainly not boyfriends. Notes and letters were dropped in lockers, to be read when they were far from prying eyes and when locked in a restroom or when in the company of a young mule in a decrepit barn, respectively. At times, the two would have lunch together, the Once-ler packing enough food for two (or three or five, he supposed, given Henry's touch of excessive (though, he would add, very cute) weight and his own bottomless stomach despite his terribly thin frame) and talking about their classes as the two ate pancakes and whatever concoction the Once-ler had made in his kitchen the night before. Henry had to admit that the rabbit-cut apples and star-shaped sandwiches were almost too cute to eat, but when he'd turned to find the younger boy with his mouth full of cucumber sandwich and apple bunnies, well, he could only laugh and join him.
It wasn't that the relationship wasn't without problems. Long sleeves rolled up during a particularly intense reunion in the corn field, and Henry was quickly asking questions to his lover- where had the cuts come from? what about the bruises? why was he being so uncharacteristically quiet? And then there was a tearful confession and apology, he certainly didn't mean for Henry to know, and he bobbed his head animatedly when he exclaimed that it had been a number of months- in fact, when the two had started dating- that the last mark had been made. Dark lips met on pale flesh in a healing spell, whispering "I love you" into long since healed cuts, and the Once-ler felt his freckled face flare up in embarrassment. Seeing Henry with a bloody nose and a limp a week later had sent worry through him, and he stumbled over his words and had come back with a medical kit- minus a few certain instruments he promised Henry he would never see the younger handle- that night, tending to his wounds under the bright autumn moon.
"Your dad did this to you?" His braces- with pink brackets he'd so eagerly chosen, unaware of the ceaseless teasing he would gain from them- caused his voice to lisp quite badly. Henry found it comical, though less so as he nodded firmly. The two had their share of long, warm hugs, particularly in the snowy winters.
It was three years later that it had happened- his own folly, and what he would quickly consider to be among the worst days of his life. He'd meant to slip the song into the older boy's locker, but a loud CLANG and a face full of locker door on his way had stopped him. The Once-ler dropped the letter and his grip on his bag to hold the blood from his nose in in vain. One of the more popular students, the one who had opened his locker in time to conveniently bludgeon that juniour, had leaned over to help with the mess she had inadvertently caused, scooping up the hand-written letter with care.
"Did you write this, Oncie? Your handwriting is…" Before she could finish, one of the jocks- and admittedly quite the prick- had taken the love song from her hands. "Hey! That's not yours!"
"Finders keepers." The muscular football player had scoffed, squinting at the lyrics. "Is this some faggot love song? I always knew you were queer, Once-lose-ler, but this is pretty gay, even for you!" The face of amusement quickly faded as he skimmed the verses, the Once-ler frozen in panic above him. "Hey… it is a faggot love song! 'To Henry Williams, the man I love more than marshmallows?' Wow. So this whole time you two've been a thing?"
"I… I… um…" His mouth gaped, bringing his shoulders up to his ears.
"You two been havin' queermo sex in the bathrooms all this time?" He flinched at the accusation, bringing his hands down from his face and not even noticing the blood trailing onto his sweater.
"It's not… like… we're just…" His breathing came in small pants, and he could hardly focus on the football player as he grabbed a slender wrist and pushed him against the wall.
"Other people go in there to take a shit, you inconsiderate little-" A kiss with a fist wasn't what he was expecting that day, his lips grinding against the brackets in his mouth. He'd found out later that Henry hadn't gotten much more out of the slip, and he apologised as many times as he could before the sobs took him. It wasn't supposed to be like this, and the two spent a long while holding each other close, not caring about dirt or blood getting on clothing or flesh. Reluctantly, they had slipped away, and the Once-ler wearily made his way home, too dizzy and upset to properly ride his bike and just walking it the miles to his farmhouse.
His brothers had broken the news to his mother- they hadn't done it intentionally, bless them, truly, they had only been curious and wondering aloud why everyone was treating Once different because he was friends with a boy. Regardless of their intent, his mother had found out, and he had discovered her discovery with sharp yelling and broken china.
"I thought I raised you better than this. Honestly, Oncie, goin' around and- what even do you do? Engaging in… in copulation like that." Her finger punctuated her sentences, pressing into a narrow chest with force. "Well guess what, mister, that's not where it goes. It disgusts me that you'd go and disgrace your poor mama like this!" He coughed, feeling blood from the cuts in his mouth dripping down the back of his throat, and his mother immediately turned her attention to him. "If you wanna… if you wanna be like some dirty animal you can just sleep in the barn tonight." He gave her an incredulous stare, immediately looking down when she glared into his gaze.
"Yes ma'am." He sighed, coughing a bit and shouldering his bag as he made his way to the barn. At least he'd have Melvin for company, he figured, and he thought he might prefer the animal's presence more than his family's, anyway. The mule cast a worried glance at him, lips swollen and ribs hurting as he sat down against one of the walls. He'd been strong and hadn't cried in front of Henry or when the jock had thrown his punches, but he didn't have any desire to be strong anymore. Bringing knees up to a sore face and reminding himself to take a shower in the morning, he let the wispy tears fall down his cheeks. "I'm s-so sorry." He muttered to no one in particular, or maybe to everyone- to Henry, to his mother, to his mule, to himself.
The next day had been worse. His hair was still wet from his shower and his face was still sore from his lips and nose, but other than that, nothing seemed the same- people gave him dirty glances and malicious shoves as he made his way to his classes. Even the teachers spared him an accusatory glare when they could, no doubt disgusted with the acts he never committed in the restrooms. Without proof, the principal couldn't suspend him or Henry, but it was a definite warning for his records. Of course, any of this could have happened and he would have been more than fine with the results, but his dear boyfriend had been absent and it left him in a poor mood to start with. He couldn't stand to be in band class without him- people shot dirty looks and muttered that his flute wasn't the only thing he was good at blowing, that he'd had a lot of extra practice and he had stormed out of the hall before class was even over. His mother was still angry at him, without a doubt, and he simply sat in the usual spot in the corn field. He hadn't expected Henry to show up, and he hadn't expected him to show up in such awful condition- he was clearly in a lot of pain and the Once-ler stood up as straight as he could manage, trying to tend to him carefully.
"Dad's taking me out of school. Putting me in military school… I… we can't do this, Theo." He swallowed as Henry called him by his name. The name he was going to fix on his birth certificate, when the two of them had finally moved out and made it big as rock stars. "You look like shit. Freddy really got ahold of you, didn't he?"
"It's not important. Henry, please, we can… everyone knows now, we can finally hold hands and kiss and hug and I can finally knit you things and… and we can do this, Henry!" He shook, though he could hardly tell if it was from fear or from anger.
"Theo. We can't… I can't. I couldn't watch you get hurt again, and… and my dad's taking us away. It's just better for the both of us if we just… forget about this. Go find a nice girl or something. Anyone would love to have you as a boyfriend." No. no. "I know I loved having you as mine."
"No. Look, Henry, we… we don't have to… I can't…" He babbled, holding the doughy boy to himself, feeling the tears coming much more readily than they had any right to.
"I love you, Theo. I have to do this." The younger boy wailed, holding his boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) close as his knees shook.
"I love you, Henry, but… pl-please! I don't know how I'm gonna… Henry, please…" His cries were muffled by black, kinky hair as he nestled his face into it, taking in the smell of honey and vanilla. He kissed him, hoping it would convince him to stay. "You can stay in the barn with me…" Again, this time on the forehead. "We can run away." He kissed him again and again, until his lips reopened from the brackets on his teeth, and then he continued to kiss him, leaving red smears on his face and neck.
"Where are we gonna run to, Oncie? There's no busses. Your bike ain't gonna get us very far."
"Please. We just… we'll work out the details. We can live off other people's farms until we finally get somewhere."
"What about money?"
"We… we don't need money!"
"Look. Theo. It's not worth it. You're black and blue and living in the barn, for Christ's sake!"
"It can be worth it, Henry, we can-"
"I'm leaving. It's too late. Go tell your mom you broke up with me so you aren't living in the barn anymore."
He hadn't listened to anymore wailing cries, giving him a small kiss on the lips before turning and making his way out of the corn field. The Once-ler stared after him, a painful stabbing in his chest. The sun had started to fall, and he took a deep breath before making his own way through the corn field. This was it, then, he resigned himself to the fact that Henry was gone. And, just like everything else in his life, it was his fault. He had his bed that night, and for most of his life in the farmhouse, sans a few missed chore days, but it felt empty and cold and altogether wrong.
"I'm afraid I will have to respectfully decline your advances, Mr. Charles. I simply am far too busy to meddle with romantic affairs right now." He steepled green gloved hands, eying the man across from his desk with concern. He couldn't put anyone else through his mother, after all- it was only for his own safety. It wasn't worth it to be with him, and his mother wouldn't take kindly to the news that he'd gotten into another gay relationship. He could pay anyone to shut up or piss off, but he couldn't pay his mother enough to feel comfortable with her born-again-straight son taking the crooked path.