This story is a collaborative between isobeljones2000 and Silverbengal. We hope you like it!
Silverbengal
"No," Nero said flatly.
"Come on Max," Diabolus pleaded, "you'll like it!"
"I'm not doing it Diabolus," Nero said firmly.
"Max," sighed Diabolus, "just because your first relationship went slightly t***-up…"
"Her sister murdered her Diabolus," Nero cut him off, "I think that classifies as a little more than "slightly t***-up"."
"Fine," Diabolus corrected himself, "just because your last relationship went completely t***-up, doesn't mean that you can never go on a date again."
"I am not going on a blind date," Nero insisted.
"Yes, you are," Diabolus replied, "if you don't like it, then you never have to take any more advice from me, ever."
"You said that after the disaster in Melbourne," Nero said dryly, "and the one in Berlin, and Washington, and Birmingham, and Oslo."
"Okay, okay," Diabolus held up his hands in surrender, "but all of those involved large quantities of C4. Unless you want to do a Professor and carry around high explosives confiscated from computers, going on a single blind date won't be half as dangerous."
"Knowing your judgment, my date will probably be exactly the sort of person who carries C4 around all day," Nero said dryly.
"Will you do it?" Diabolus pleaded.
"Okay," Nero sighed, "but I'm going to regret this."
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"No," was the immediate reply.
"Please, Raven?" Diabolus asked hopefully.
The woman shook her head adamantly. "No. Never. Never."
"I really think you need to - explore your horizons a little more," Diabolus explained, choosing his words carefully. He had found the assassin in the training room, throwing knives into targets and attacking a punching bag with what seemed like a personal vengeance. Even though he knew Raven and was as close as one could feel to the normally aloof woman, he still kept a safe distance away from her knives.
Raven suddenly spun on the spot and swiftly hurled three knives into three separate dummies on the opposite wall, before using the fourth one to lunge viciously into where the closest dummy's heart would be. Only then did she meet Diabolus' eyes. "There. Horizons explored. And my answer is still no."
"I think a blind date would be - really good for your self esteem," Diabolus tried.
Raven flashed him a withering look. "I'm an assassin. I don't really think self esteem is very high on my list of things to worry about, do you?"
"Pleeease...?" Diabolus pleaded. "You won't have to worry about a thing. I'll organize it all."
"Somehow that makes me feel even less inclined," Raven mused dryly.
"Please?" Diabolus repeated.
Finally Raven sighed. "You're not going to shut up about it unless I agree, are you?"
"No," the villain agreed at once, sensing a ray of hope.
"Fine. But I'm never forgiving you if this goes wrong."
"I think I can live with that."
Silverbengal
Diabolus rubbed his hands together in satisfaction as he left the training room. He was considering doing the evil laugh thingy, when a group of students walked past and he decided he looked weird enough already. He flipped open the blackbox that Nero had given him even though he wasn't technically part of H.I.V.E.
"Ah, Max," he smiled as his friend accepted the call, "I need to let you know where you're meeting your date."
Nero winced at the very mention of the arrangement.
"You're meeting at a café in King's Cross," Diabolus said.
"We're meeting in a station café?" Nero repeated.
"King's Cross isn't just the station," Diabolus rolled his eyes at his friend, "I'm sending you the details now. You're meeting in six hours. That's seven-thirty English time."
"Okay," Nero sighed, shutting the blackbox and walking back to his office.
When he got there, he found Raven sitting on his desk.
"You know you're sitting on a pile of important G.L.O.V.E. documents?" Nero said as he walked in.
"Sorry," Raven hopped off the desk, "just wanted to let you know I'm going out for a day."
"Me too," Nero said, "where are you going?"
"Don't want to talk about it," she muttered, "you?"
"Don't want to talk about it," he echoed, "Diabolus's fault?"
"Of course," she nodded glumly, "what about you?"
"When is it ever not?"
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"Okay, have you got it?" asked Diabolus down the phone for the fourth time into Raven's ear.
Raven rolled her eyes. "Yes, Diabolus. I haven't suddenly forgotten in the fifteen seconds since you last asked."
"You're wearing the dress?" Diabolus asked.
He could have sworn he heard Raven growl under her breath. "I really don't think - this is necessary."
"Nonsense. On a date you need to dress up. You can't go as you normally are," he insisted.
Raven snorted derisively. "You seem to know an awful lot about it."
He didn't sound abashed in the slightest. "Obviously. Anyway, go and have fun."
Raven sighed. "I'll try. Though I really don't see why you're getting me, of all people, to go on a blind date. I'll probably just say something wrong. Or he'll be annoying and I'll stab him."
She could almost visualize Diabolus wagging his finger at her. "No lethal weaponry allowed on this date, Natalya. Normal person, remember?"
"Normal," Raven repeated sardonically. "Right."
"Now, get on the Shroud. Go!" Darkdoom urged her. "I'll be phoning you when you're there to tell you exactly where you need to go."
Raven sighed one last time, then began to walk towards the Shroud in her high heels that Darkroom had so helpfully provided - how do people walk in these things? - silently cursing her friend as she went. Why had she ever agreed to this?