well fuck my ass and call it thanksgiving i wrote a kid icarus shit
enjoy
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"Pittoo! Oh, Pittoo, my dear~!" the kawaii shota turkeyman called as he soared through the sky. It had been a while since they made sweet kinda-selfcest love, and somehow he became a romantic guy overnight? Also, Paletuna was holding this great awesome party but nobody was invited because WOW THIS IS A YOAI AND THE GURLS HAVE 2 BE MEAN?
Well anyway, Pit flew to a place and landed and was thinking ~naughty~ things about himself aka Dark Pit. "I'm Pit and I would fuck myself," he mumbled to himself as he looked at his reflection. For he saw he was a kawaii shota, and even a kawaii shota would want to touch the ochinchin of a kawaii shota.
then, like, his totally evul and hawt! twin showed up all majestic and shit, his flowing black locks and shimmering feathered wings like a bald eagle. (god bless america) And don't forget the purple sparkles. He sparkles purple because purple is the color of sexual frustration, along with implied homosexuality but only if you're a guy.
"Oh hi Pittoo I've been thinking about stuff," pit said, hoping his sacred buns looked steamy in his tight navy blue nice legs daisy dukes? um...
"Don't call me that," the dark angel shota said, clucking. "Or I will kick your ass so hard you'll bark like a dog."
"Bring it gurlfriend," Pit snapped, whipping out his Fireworks Cannon and pulling a really dorky move that was supposed to be cool. Hey, did you know a dork is a whale's penis?
"Grrr!" Pittoo had a Cragalanche cannon and was so angry he was prolly gonna fist pits anus with it lol fisting is funny
Looking into his clone's eyes, Pit felt himself blush. Imagine all the things you could do with more than one of yourself, man. Staring into Dark Pit's beautfiulness, it was like looking at a mirror of himself he could actually fuck. it was totally fucking awesome. And it would only count as masturbation, right?
"Pittoo you're,,, kinda..,, cute..." Pit said out loud accidentally.
His twin was quiet for a bit, giving him a weird look. "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know-"
Pit cut him off with a kiss and somehow didn't get punched in the face? What the fuck? Why is he suddenly gay and not in his room petting his miniature rooster and fantasizing about Palutena? Why am I asking questions?
"Ohhhh Pittoo baby let's make egg," Pit begged, his voice a careless whisper in the wind.
Donning a pair of sunglasses, Dark Pit picked his twin up bridal style and strutted into the nearest cave (no this one doesn't have a story ok fukc you) and they did ~naughty~ things 'til the dawn.
Later they seduced Magnus together even though Gaol and him were married and had a kid once? I'm really confused ok why the fuck is everyone suddenly gay is it the tight pants?
So Pyrrhon morphed into a Volcarona and flew up Thanatos's ass and Palutena was never heard from again?
...I'm done here.