Just one of those little things that popped into my head and wouldn't go away... (grrrrrr, I hate those...) Anyway, here it is, just for you! It's a little guess who! (but it's pretty easy if you've watched a majority of the best episodes) Some of the events are canon, but some I invented myself.

Disclaimer: I don't own MASH or any of its characters... if I did...that would be so AWESOME!!!!


I never cried so much as the first night that Trapper was gone. I looked over at the cot that had been his and almost told him goodnight, but then I remembered that he wasn't there. Someone named BJ Hunnicutt now slept there. Suddenly, in my slightly inebriated state, I began to weep. I was quiet so no one would wake, but that was the most I'd ever cried…

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I'd never cried so much as when little Kim's mother came to get him. Hawk wanted me to come right back to the Swamp, but I opted for a quick walk instead. The weight of having to write a letter to my wife for her to tell my daughters hit me, and my knees just buckled. I started crying. My little girls would be so disappointed, and my wife would have to deal with it all alone. I swear… I never cried so much…

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I'd never cried so much as when I read that letter from Peg. Erin, my precious baby girl, had called Radar "Daddy". I know it wasn't his fault, but I couldn't stop hating him for it. I was just so angry… I even hit Hawk and ruined the still. I went to Rosie's, and Klinger and I got wasted. Hawkeye and Col. Potter took each of us aside (guess who got who) and tried to figure out what the problem was. When Hawk finally got it out of me, all I could do was cry and sob. I never cried so much… or so hard…

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I never cried so much as when Col. Blake died. He was like a dad to me, and it was like losing a father all over again. Everyone finished surgery real quiet-like, and Hawkeye and Trapper came to find me when they were all done. I'd been sitting on my cot holding my teddy bear, crying as quiet as I could, but as soon as I saw them crying, too, I cried louder. It was like I was a little kid again. They just each put an arm around me and offered me shoulders to cry on. Boy, I never cried so much…

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I'd never cried so much as after the first stint of meatball surgery I ever did. I was so nervous, and I had lost two boys on the table. The realisation hit me that night, and I jut started crying. It was quiet at first, but it soon turned into full-scale sobbing. I'm sure someone heard me, but I didn't care. I'd never cried so much… and I haven't since…

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I never cried so much as I did on the night of Margaret's wedding. I just couldn't help it. Even though I'm married, and there was really nothing emotional between us, it upset and rattled me terribly. For some reason, I always thought that maybe there could have been more. Then she got married to Donald and left me out in the cold. I just went to the supply room and cried until I couldn't anymore. I never cried so much…

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I never cried so much as when I realised Don was cheating. I had loved him, and he went and screwed me over. I just read the letter to the other woman over and over until I noticed little wet spots on the paper. I couldn't figure out what they were. Then I realised they were tears… mine. I just cried and cried because I didn't know what else to do. I never cried so much…

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I never cried so much until after I handed Sophie over to the orphans at Sister Theresa's. Sophie had made my time here a little more bearable than others had. I had a bit of a walk to my ride to the 'airport', so I stopped and had a good cry over it. I never cried so much…

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I never cried so much as after I watched that young man die in front of me at that aid station. It's completely different than being in surgery and having them die on the table. This… boy (he was hardly older than 19) spoke to me, needed comfort from me. It rattled me. I kept myself composed until I reached the unit. Thankfully, the miscreants were in post-op, and I just laid down and cried harder than I had even as a child. I never cried so much…

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I never cried so much as the night a week after the first shelling near the end of the war. I'd been steadily losing my hearing, but that night I was almost run over by a jeep. A nurse pulled me out of the way just in time because I hadn't heard it. I broke down as soon as I got back into my tent, barely making it to my cot to muffle it all in my pillow. I've never cried so much or so hard…

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I never cried so much as the first night I was in the 4077th. I didn't even want to be here in the first place, and then I was stuck amongst all the blood and horror of war. I saw about ten or twenty casualties and dead kids come through on the first day. It didn't really wash over me until later that night. I started crying in the mess tent. It was quiet when I was in the mess tent, but as soon as I was back in my own bed, I just sobbed into my pillow until I thought I would throw up. I never cried so much or so hard… never…

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OK, I lied a little. The last one might've been harder than the others. But you should review anyway! It's oh-so-easy! All you have to do is click on the mystical button at the bottom... right here!