"Thor," Tony called over his shoulder one day after a strenuous workout in the tower gym. "Do you ever read those comics those Marvel people write about you? Well, I guess it's drawing and writing, but you get the gist of it."

Thor looked over at Tony as he showered, and wondered, not for the first time, how he didn't manage to get electrocuted what with the water running over that glowing thing in his chest. He was well aware that many Asgardian warriors were of the habit of tattooing their chests with the blood of their enemies (Sif had shown him hers once, back when they were still young and foolish - and, really, who wanted to get a tattoo of a jötunn symbol on their chest? Thor had described it to Loki once, and Loki had snorted and told him that it meant something along the lines of 'frozen hearted whore'). But this thing certainly wasn't a tattoo, and it looked like one of those electrical gadgets that the Man of Iron enjoyed tinkering with, with flashy lights and a little whirring noise that Thor could never tell if it was working or not. Thor expressed his concern.

"Don't worry about it," Tony said, shrugging and sending water droplets all over the place. The circle in the middle of his chest made a high pitched whining sound, and Thor was most definitely sure it was not supposed to be doing that. "It does that all the time." Tony hit his chest, and a little cog popped out. He picked it up off the shower floor, examined it closely, and shrugged again and shoved it back into the rotor.

"And you still haven't answered my question," Tony reminded him as he wrapped a towel around his waist and went over to the steam room he'd had installed.

"Er...no, I do not read these comics you have mentioned," Thor said, watching in ever growing anxiety as the rotor whirled faster and faster - and oh, now there was smoke, this was absolutely downright terrifying.

Tony closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the sauna wall, and as the rotor reached an all time high, Thor just gaped as the rotor exploded and sent shrapnel directly into his face. When he opened his eyes to see what had become of his dearest friend, ready to mourn and pick up whatever remains of his body were left and load it into a boat headed to Valhalla, he found a laughing Loki in Tony's place, a towel draped fetchingly over his sharp hips.

"...Loki?" Thor asked, rubbing his eyes in disbelief and wondering if he was experiencing hallucinations, if somehow the steam had gotten to his head. Loki didn't really like saunas, that was the other thing, he claimed it made him feel like a sweaty pig roasting itself alive into a nice delicious ham. Thor looked at him in wonder, reached out and rubbed at a thigh curiously and was nothing short of surprised as he felt smooth silky skin underneath his palm. Loki swatted his hand away, rolling his eyes.

"I assure you, I am quite real. I was just having a bit of fun with you," Loki said with a little grin that quickly turned to a scowl as Thor wrapped an arm around him. "Stop that. You are sweating all over me."

Thor ignored him, nuzzling a kiss into the hollow of Loki's neck, tasting the gentle salt of sweat. "You were saying something about comics, I believe, were you not? I was not aware that you enjoyed reading those sorts of things; I figured you might find them childish, being as that they have great, colourful pictures and words written in that typeface that you absolutely despise."

"Oh, yes, Comic Sans," Loki said, struggling to wriggle out of Thor's embrace and failing miserably. "I only read them because I featured in them and I wondered what the Midgardians were writing about me. They have not done me grace, I can tell you that."

"Oh, is that right?" Thor asks, smiling at Loki's little frown and rubbing at the furrow that had appeared between Loki's eyebrows. "I figure no tome in the nine realms can do you as much grace as you are meant to have."

Loki blushed, although if anyone asked, it was because of the steam and the heat inside the sauna. He tried to swat Thor away again, but this time there was no real intention behind the gesture.

"But why do you bring this up?" Thor asked, pulling away. "Unless it is some sort of barb about how I ought to read more. You are fond of saying things like that."

"Oh." Loki coloured a bit more, his cheeks a lovely shade of red that Thor admired. "Oh, no, I was just curious..."

"You are never curious without reason, dearest," Thor said, nudging at the knot in the towel at Loki's hip and causing the loose covering to come undone and slip to the tile floor. "There is always a reason. I wonder what it is?"

Thor reached out, gently petted the head of Loki's cock with a finger and reveling in the shudder that traveled up Loki's spine.

"I, ah, there was a line the Midgardian artists gave you, something to the effect of how Mjolnir had many more uses than met the eye. Some silly things, of course, such as using it as a sort of helicopter, using it as an everyday hammer to assemble furniture, and of course that got me to thinking about some things..." Loki's voice was cut off in a throaty moan as Thor gently traced the vein of his cock with the tip of his index finger.

"Yes? Go on," Thor said, smiling as he began to realise where this whole thing was going. Mjolnir's shaft was lovely and firm and thick, ribbed every inch or so to allow for better wrapping and handling, but of course Mjolnir could on occasion be coerced into providing other favours as well...

"And that got me to thinking," Loki repeated, biting his lip and stifling a moan as Thor gently tweaked a nipple, rolling the silver ring around in his fingers, "about what other things you could do with Mjolnir..."

Thor laughed, twisting Loki's nipple viciously and wrenching a cry from his throat. "I presume you mean lewd things, the things you do when you think I am sleeping but you are not yet sated. Holding Mjolnir in you because you cannot lift her and riding her as you wish. She pulses inside you, does she not? Her seidr is far more subtle, I have noticed, when she is in you, as if she is being careful not to shock you too thoroughly."

Loki shuddered, biting his lip in remembrance of lonely, cold nights when Thor was, presumably, in a drunken stupor. How Mjolnir rubbed up lovely against his insides, how he whispered words of adoration to the warhammer as it pulsed delicate inside him, how he could taste the thunder and lightning stroking up his middle as it intensified, wrenching a climax from him...

"Ah, yes, that is exactly what I mean," Loki said, leaning over and nesting his head in the curve of Thor's shoulder, watching Thor's deft fingers stroke over his budding erection. "It has also come to my attention that Midgardians have a saying about hammers."

"And that is?" Thor asked, wrapping his fist tightly around Loki's erection and stroking his thumb over the tip, which wept clear fluid out onto the pad of his finger.

Loki stifled a whimper, deep in his throat, the choked off sound buzzing against Thor's skin. "The hammer is my penis," he managed to get out. "I mean, obviously, that would mean, Mjolnir is yours, as I do not have a hammer."

Thor laughed incredulously, rolled his wrist so the palm of his head rubbed in an absolutely lovely way over the head of Loki's cock and left a glimmering smudge of wet against Thor's palm. "Well, I can tell you, Mjolnir is not my penis, but I can see how she would easily be a substitute for one."

Tony entered the sauna a few days later, and found it in absolute disrepair. He gaped at the damage, looked at the worn down benches and the dents in the tile wall that looked suspiciously like a human chalk outline that one saw in episodes of crime dramas, an outline that, if one examined it closely, could be anyone but which Tony knew for a fact was Loki.

Thor and Loki would be banned from the sauna for the foreseeable future. Just for good measure, Modi would be banned also, but the baby had absolutely no interest in the tiled heat chamber of death, where one was slowly roasted alive.

"Can you take all of it?" Thor wanted to know, a few nights later when they were safely ensconced in their bedchambers in Asgard. Mjolnir hummed on the bed beside them; she was excited, Thor could tell, and he could feel her vibrating through the thick mattress.

Loki eyed the warhammer, calculating, took a deep breath as the very thought went straight to his cock, stiffening it even more than it was already.

"I...have not tried to take her fully yet," Loki admitted, reaching out to stroke a tentative finger over the hammerhead and laughing as Mjolnir appeared to lean into his palm. "I feared that once I sunk down to the head I would not be able to stand back up again, and then you might wake up the next morning to find me impaled, and I feared you would laugh at me for how wanton I was...Although the fact that you were not sleeping irks me somewhat, knowing that you were ready and able but that you preferred not to do or say anything."

"I liked watching you and her, together, fairest," Thor said, grinning as he pressed a kiss to Loki's forehead and took Mjolnir in hand. Loki shivered in anticipation. "You two make quite the pair. And you do look so lovely with your eyes shut tight in desire, your thighs quivering as you tried not to sink down all the way. Truly a delight to watch."

Loki rolled his eyes, was about to make a witty retort, before he felt a pair of slicked, oiled fingers circling gently around his entrance.

Thor pressed two fingers into him easily, causing Loki to choke on a moan and writhe on Thor's hand. Thor curled his fingers inside him, stroking gently against his insides, stretching him slowly, more slowly than he had any right to, really, and Loki ground his hips down, canting them in the hopes of speeding Thor up. Thor smiled, patted Loki's erection, which was poking him in the jaw, and obliged him, tapping against the spots that had Loki shivering and shuddering in the sheets.

Thor added a third finger, a fourth, and was contemplating if he could manage to get his whole hand inside, wondering how it would feel to have Loki convulsing and twitching against, around his wrist. Mjolnir seemed to have other plans, if the somewhat painful shock she sent flaring up Thor's other arm had anything to do about it. Thor frowned at the warhammer, which was quivering in anticipation, thrumming impatiently and wondering when it was going to get its turn.

"See, she wants me too," Loki argued, kicking Thor in the ribs as he twisted on Thor's fingers, his spine curving from the stimulation. "Hurry up. She's getting impatient, and it is quite impolite to keep your love waiting."

Thor laughed, pressed his forehead against Loki's and kissed him. "Alright, alright," he said, laughing as he slicked oil onto Mjolnir's shaft and felt the heat thrum through the hammer. "The two of you need patience. You're always going on about me and being patient, aren't you, dearest?"

Loki muttered something that could have been anywhere from an assent to a grumbled retort, but Thor didn't bother listening to him as he gently nudged the end of Mjolnir's shaft against Loki's twitching entrance. Loki shuddered, trying to grind his hips down and sink Mjolnir into him, but Thor held the hammer steady, frowning at Loki's attempts and stilling him with a firm hand on his abdomen.

"Patience, darling," Thor said, and his voice had that little commanding lilt about it that sent a thrill shuddering up Loki's spine. "You will get what you need."

Loki sighed, leaned back into the pillows, and relaxed as much as he possibly could, allowing Thor to slide Mjolnir into him. Every ridge and nub of the leather hilt rubbed up deliciously against Loki's insides, and he shuddered, twisting his hands in the pillows and biting at his lip to stifle his whimpers. Once Mjolnir's hilt was about halfway in, Thor took a look at Loki to gauge his reaction.

Loki's eyes were closed, long lashes dusting across his cheeks and his eyebrows furrowed, his lower lip caught between his teeth and his cheeks flushed a beautiful crimson red. Thor gently set Mjolnir down on the mattress, crawled up to press a kiss to Loki's mouth.

"No, what are you doing," Loki whimpered, a sob caught in his words, "keep going. I can take more."

"Of course you can, love," Thor whispered, tugging gently at Loki's lower lip and trying to ignore his own painful erection. "And of course you shall."

Thor returned to Mjolnir, holding her solid weight in his hand, and continued to guide the hilt into Loki's willing body. He paused at each ridge of the hilt, making sure Loki was still okay and not seeming to be in any distress, and each and every time Thor paused Loki would press his heel into Thor's ribs, a silent demand to continue.

Once Mjolnir was firmly sheathed deep inside Loki, her head flush with Loki's entrance and spreading his thighs gloriously wide, Thor swallowed with a dry mouth and tried to think about something, anything, to distract him from the painful hardness between his thighs. He stroked himself once, twice, biting his lip as he watched Loki twist and writhe on Mjolnir's shaft.

"Mm, that's full, really full," Loki gasped, twitching on Mjolnir's shaft. "Really, really good, really amazing."

Thor smiled, watching Loki shiver on the hilt. He tapped Mjolnir a bit, encouraging her to twist lightly inside Loki, and grinned at the sob it wracked through Loki's chest. Loki's cock jumped, and Thor quickly wrapped a hand tightly around the base. Loki cried out, twisting in the sheets as he struggled against Thor's tight hold.

"Just hold on, fairest, just a bit longer," Thor begged him, palming at his own cock as he stared at Loki's twitching erection, flushed a deep red. "I promise you it will be amazing."

Loki was too far gone, rocking back and forth and reveling in the feel of Mjolnir's ridges rubbing up against his insides. She was warm and unrelenting inside him, pressing up against all those lovely spots that made him see stars, and he lifted a twitching hand to press against his stomach to try to feel her inside him.

Thor licked his lips. He let his fingers trail over Mjolnir's head, feeling her thrum underneath his fingertips. He tapped her, twice, asked her kindly to shock.

Mjolnir obliged, sent a series of rapid, quickfire jolts of lightning centered directly at Loki's prostate.

Loki gasped, his eyes jolting open and staring blankly at the ceiling. He choked on a scream as he convulsed in the sheets, and Thor bit through his lip as he stroked himself faster, coming all over Loki's abdomen even as Mjolnir continued to tap and shock electricity up through Loki's spine and wrung orgasm after orgasm from the cradle of his thighs.

A few hours later, after Thor had laid Mjolnir to rest, carefully cleaning off her hilt and rebinding it with fresh leather strips, Loki grinned into the pillows and wondered if he could possibly convince Thor to leave Mjolnir with him more often.