Warnings: Language…..lots of language…. And by that I mean BAD language. Yaoi goodness and the slightest barest hints of Non Con…maybe… if you squint really hard.
Disclaimer: Not mine, I'm just playing with them. Trust me, if I had the rights to make Leon and Cloud do this, I wouldn't be working as a Nurse wiping arse for a living.
Enjoy!
None But The Brave.
"What are you doing?" A desperate questioning whisper.
Brown brows were raised high and were furrowed in alarm and confusion, sharp glacier blue eyes sparkling with apprehension and a slight hint of fear. The small hot space between Leon's lips and Cloud's was dense with mingled breath, their faces only inches apart.
"Kissing you." The other replied; his deep baritone voice rumbling in the heated air between them sending vibrations through Leon's thrumming body.
Cloud's electric blue eyes darted all about Leon's guarded face, looking, searching for any hint of acceptance. He found none. He could read nothing behind the slightly taller man's well defended expression.
"Why?" Leon breathed out, his perplexity clear. He had no idea, no idea at all.
Cloud studied his face a while longer, seeing the uncertainty there. Cloud's bold and unprovoked actions clearly unsettling Leon who was above all else a man who needed reason. He saw the subtle shading of fear laced in his eyes also. Fear that this was some cruel trick maybe? That he was being carefully and cruelly dismantled and laid bare for Cloud's own amusement. There was so much mistrust in those questioning searching eyes as they tried to figure out exactly what the hell Cloud was doing. Why?
"Because I want to." Cloud allowed just a hint of the lust and wanting to creep into his eyes as he let his gaze fall on Leon's lips. Oh fucking God he wanted to, wanted to really fucking badly.
Cloud lifted his arm and placed his palm flat against the wall that he had Leon crowded up against, bringing his body the last few precious inches until he was flush against Leon.
No mistake. There was no mistake about what Cloud wanted from him. Not now that Leon could feel it pressed against him, the heat of it searing him and sending unsettling flutters through his stomach. Did he want this? Did he have a choice?
Cloud kissed him again, gently but dominantly pressing his body into Leon's just a little bit harder.
Leon quickly brought his hands up gripping Cloud's forearms and shoved him away, the taste of Cloud lingered in his mouth as he gasped for breath and space and….and just what the fuck was happening here?
"Wait…I …. I can't…" he breathed; screwing his eyes shut and lowering his head trying to stop the feeling of Cloud's eyes boring into him. There was nothing about this man that wasn't pressing into him at this point. It was suffocating. The weight of it made Leon want to draw his Gunblade and deal with it the only way he knew how to deal with pressure.
"You're afraid." It was a statement and a challenge.
Leon's head snapped up at this, his eyes shooting daggers of sharp crystal ice into Cloud. He hoped it hurt.
"You've crossed the line." He growled, meaning the kiss, the accusation, everything.
"Tell me I'm wrong then?" Cloud dared him, his own blue eyes becoming sharp with arrogance and victory. He moved himself back into Leon's space, gripping Leon's wrists and pinning them just above his head as the rough texture of the wall scrapped his bare knuckles. His face was mere inches from Leon's and he could feel the hot moist breath of the man as anger made his breathing ragged and puffy.
"You're wrong." Leon was a good liar. He had been doing it all his life, but somehow he couldn't make this one stick. He knew he was saying it right, he knew his face would give nothing away, but somehow Cloud knew.
Cloud smirked, giving a small 'hn' to confirm to himself what he already recognised.
"I think you're lying. I know you're afraid."
And what did Leon have to say to that? He was right but there was no way that he could let Cloud know it. Was it too late for that? Leon didn't care; he would be dead before he let Cloud or anyone else in. He'd made that mistake before.
"…" He glared hard, trying to force Cloud away with the intensity of it. Had this trick not worked so well in the past?
"I can see it in your face. You're afraid to let me kiss you or even touch you. You're afraid to let me get closer, afraid to let me in and maybe fuck you up a little."
Fuck him up? God yeah he was afraid of that. Afraid so badly that it crippled him, made his feelings of weakness and want turn to anger and bitterness. He would do anything, say anything if Cloud would just stop pressing those fucking buttons.
"You don't know anything." His voice wavered. God his voice wavered and he hated himself and Cloud so fucking much for making his voice shake like that. Who the fuck did Cloud think he was? How dare he show him this side of himself that he had kept hidden and buried for so long. How dare he so easily reach in and rip it all out to show it to him raw and bleeding and real.
"I know you're a coward."
And that stung. It stung him in the deepest darkest most hollow place of himself. It burned him in his chest and in his heart, fizzing and scorching up into his throat so that it filled him with rage and at the same time turned his arms and legs to jelly with the pinpointed accuracy of it.
It disarmed him so beautifully that Cloud could shift his wrists to one hand and grip them there while his other snaked down and took hold of his chin, forcing Leon's hurt filled and betrayed eyes to lock with Clouds accusing ones.
There was a challenge in Cloud's eyes also. Dearing him to look away and deny it. Daring him to come up with a better answer, a better lie. But the longer Leon stayed quiet the more obvious the truth. He was a coward. Cloud knew it and now there was no denying it.
"Don't…" Oh fucking God now he was begging? He was begging and his voice was so shaky and full of fucking fear. Leon couldn't have hated himself more. He felt Cloud's gripping fingers slide from his face and travel down his body, stopping at his belt only for a few hesitating moments before beginning to undo it.
"Don't what?" He asked, one golden eyebrow raised as he dared Leon to make him stop. He dared Leon to show him that he didn't want this. Flicking open the button at the top of his trousers and tugging down the zip he slid his heated hand inside. He heard the hitched breath that Leon took. He saw his pale throat bobbing as he tried to keep those delicious sounds locked away inside his chest and he saw his eyebrows knit together just briefly as a fleeting shadow of lust rolled over his face.
"I know you want this, but you're too chicken shit to just let go." He said, his voice silky and deep and biting. He rocked his hips against Leon's thigh as he took the older man's dick in his hand, gripping it and stroking it in the same challenging way, like he was daring Leon to get a hard on.
"Don't… please."
Despite Leon's half assed pathetic begging he was hard in seconds.
"You think you're brave?"
No, no he didn't. If he ever had thought that of himself he certainly didn't now. He was a fucking mess. A jibbering cowardly mess with a fucking boner and he couldn't even pull himself together enough to either stop this or beg Cloud to carry on. It had been so long since he had had anyone put their hands on him like this. The simple pleasure of it almost made him stop caring about how pathetic he really was. That thought alone made him despise himself just a little bit more.
'You fucking weak pathetic coward."
"Stop!" He shouted out, his eyes sliding shut against the pleasure of it and his head falling back to crash against the wall. He bucked his hips to try and throw Cloud off. Or was it to pump himself harder? Leon didn't know.
"You think you're brave enough for this?"
More challenges, more accusations. Through the rising pleasure that rippled along his body, Leon couldn't answer. He didn't trust himself enough to give a convincing lie and he refused to let the truth out even now.
"…"
He wanted it to stop. He wanted Cloud to just stop.
"You've never backed down from a fight in your life. You don't have the balls to kiss me back and you don't even have the balls to make me stop."
How had Cloud become so… so… right? How had he managed to take one look at Leon and just know the right things to say to disarm him so completely? There was so much shame in him, it burnt his face. The cool night air did nothing to quench the sweat that covered his body and quell the heat that radiated from him as his hips continued to buck against Cloud's fierce hand as he pumped him violently.
"You're a fucking twisted fuck you know that Strife?"
And that was all the defence he had? He couldn't keep it from himself anymore. He turned his head in shame, eyes closed tightly to block out as much as he could. Cloud wouldn't let him get away that easily. He captured Leon's mouth in a searing kiss, biting his bottom lip and tugging at it before licking it with his tongue. The sheer pressure of the kiss enough to cause dizzying white spots to dance behind Leon's closed eyelids.
"You want this?" Cloud whispered huskily into Leon's ear, his hand picking up the pace to accentuate his point.
Leon wouldn't give in. No matter how obvious everything was now he wouldn't give in. He couldn't let Cloud have the pleasure of hearing him say it as well as have the pleasure of his body.
"…"
"You can lie to me and pretend that you're the same old stoic bastard who's got ice for a heart but I know the truth."
Cloud let Leon's wrists fall; he knew he didn't need brute strength anymore to keep Leon where he wanted him. With his free hand he gripped Leon's hair, tugging his head back even further to expose his bobbing throat. Cloud attacked it, sucking harshly on the delicate skin. He would leave a reminder there so that for a while, whenever Leon looked in the mirror he would remember this. He would remember everything that Cloud had forced from him.
"You're desperate for this!"
And yet more truth. Leon didn't know how much more he could take. He shook his head, chocolate bangs whipping wildly about sticking to his sweaty heated face. Tears began to leak from under his tightly screwed up eyes, mocking him. He could deny it all he liked but everything about him was telling a different story.
"Huhng…fuck." He gasped unintelligibly. His voice was thick and horse from emotion and trying to hold it all back. He was close, so fucking close. He wanted it so badly and he didn't give a fuck. He willingly pushed himself harder into Cloud's fist crashing himself over into orgasm as he shot ribbon after ribbon of cum.
The sound that left his throat matched the look of anguish on his face. His hands that had found themselves tangled in Cloud's hair slid from their grasp as he bodily slid to the floor, utterly defeated.
Boneless and quivering through the aftershocks he tried desperately to control his panting breaths. He tried pulling them back into his chest and keeping them locked away there only to find that his chest hurt too much and his throat was too raw.
Cloud knelt down next to him and gently stroked his hot flushed face. Wiping away the sweat and tears he brought his own face close to Leon's and rested their foreheads together.
"You can lie to the others… you can even lie to yourself if you want." He offered, his voice gentle and soft and everything that Leon needed to hear right then.
"But don't lie to me."
Was he even capable of lying to Cloud anymore? A dark angry rage still swelled in Leon. Cloud may have shown him just how weak and cowardly he really was, but that didn't mean he had to sit there and take it. Fuck Cloud and his bullshit.
"You had no right…"
"What? You didn't want that?" Cloud asked, defying Leon to tell him that it wasn't what he wanted. Wasn't what he needed.
"Are you trying to tell me that didn't feel good?" He asked again as he stroked the sweaty strands of Leon's hair behind his ear, caressing his ruddy check with his thumb as he did so.
It wasn't that, Leon knew. It was this feeling. This horrid, insipid, creeping feeling of vulnerability. This feeling of being naked and exposed to the one person he couldn't, mustn't let into his heart. Cloud had no right to force this feeling on him. But it didn't matter anyway. It didn't matter how much he denied it, how much he clawed and hammered it away in his mind, Cloud knew. He saw right through him. How had he become so transparent?
"Why are you doing this to me?" He asked. His voice was weak and pained. Leon turned his face away, ashamed and defeated. His cheeks were wet with his stupid tears and flushed with his appalling desire.
"Because I need you too."
And there it was. Cloud's own vulnerability and need laid bare for him to use however he wanted. Cloud had offered it freely and almost without fear. Cloud was still afraid. Afraid that he could still be rejected even though there was so much truth being shared, none of it would matter if Leon was still too afraid to accept it. Cloud could still be rejected even now and Leon found himself feeling heady with the power of choice.
He could reach out and take what was being generously offered to him, but could he risk all that it would mean if he did? Or would he return to his safe existence? A shambolic lie but safe none the less.
In the end he couldn't reason with it. There was no answer that he could give himself and in that moment he realised that he was so tired of the constant weight of it. He didn't want the burden of his indecision anymore. The only reasoning he could come up with was that it would be half the battle won, just to make a decision.
He answered with a shaky kiss. It was sloppy and tentative but it was an answer. He raised his eyes to meet Cloud's and tried to convey in the seconds before their lips met just how afraid he really was and just how much was at stake. And for the love of God if he fucked this up he would be so utterly ruined.
But he was doing it anyway.
Because in love and war, there can be only the brave.
A/N Hello intrepid fanfic foragers. I hope this was suitably yummy and satisfying for you.
I've often mentioned how I'm totally uncomfortable with writing about how Leon and Cloud would get together. I just can't seem to make my mind come up with a plausible scenario between to people who would hardly say two words to each other, especially if they fancied the pants of each other. So in order to overcome this tiny plot hole, I've created a rather more forceful confident Cloud. He may appear slightly OOC but despite that….. I kind of like this Cloud don't you? All forceful and commanding and what not…kinda hot…
Anywho, drop me a line and tell me what you think.
Much love.x.x.x.