I do not remember who I was.
I do not know what I was.
I do not recall how I died.
I cannot recollect how I lived.
I cannot reminiscence about what I cared for.
Only that I am what I am now.
So how could you believe I deserve to know?

I'm a being born from Death.
A being whose death was from existence.
Whose existence was made of suffering.
Suffering that was the pain of being completely.
And utterly.
Alone.
So why do you wish to rid me of this loneliness?

I have not known warmth nor compassion.
Nor anger nor sorrow nor joy nor sympathy.
Emotions were a foreign concept, humanity just a myth.
Numb emptiness was all I knew for myself, and for life, apathy.
An atrophy of ardor to alleviate the ailment of the aria of alienation that affected me.
Yet I needed to be cured of Life, the state of being alive, the action of living.
So why do you insist that I suffer through that again?

I have preyed upon the lives of hundreds upon thousands.
I have ripped souls from bodies and obliterated the bodies of souls.
My very presence makes the sky bleed black and lament in a downpour of tears.
My very existence makes blood run cold, turns air into ice and instills despair.
I feel no remorse, I feel no pleasure. I feel nothing at all.
I am a monster without, a demon within and purgatory given form.
So how can you possibly say I have humanity within me?

I took you from your home, I took you from your friends.
I took you as a captive, and reminded you again and again.
How it was hopeless to hope. How it was useless to believe.
That you would be saved. That your friends could save you.
I took the man you called your hope and I killed him in front of you.
I made you watch him become a monster just like I, without a heart or hope.
So why, at the end, do you still reach for me like you care?

I feel my wings burning, yet there is no pain.
Ashes we were and ashes we become, just dust in the wind.
I do not know why but I reach for you, even if in vain.
Because I turned by gaze to yours, expecting to see jubilation.
And instead I saw tears, and my hand reached out on its own.
I was the monster that stood for all you hated, all you denied.
So why, when I was fading, did you still accept me?

You showed me the weakness in my strength.
You showed me the fall within my flight.
You showed me how broken I was behind my unbreakable walls.
You showed me what I could not see with these omniscient eyes.
You showed me the heart I never had buried and beating in yours.
You showed me the brightest light in my darkest time.

And you were that light.
The light I had always wanted in my life.
The light that had always eluded my sight.
The light that had always escaped between my fingers.
For in the quest I didn't know I was on to find it.
I never realized all I needed to do.
Was to open my eyes.

And now they close forever, and I will never see your light again.
Do not cry for me. Do not mourn for me.
I do not deserve your sympathy nor your sorrow.
I do not deserve the small piece of your heart you have given me.
But then again, you have always done what I least expected, what I never saw.
As I turn to dust and dust into ash, my memories for you will fade.

Because beautiful things always fade.