Riza was anything but perfect, practically the opposite, she thought. She touched the scorched skin on her back, and looked over her shoulder at the still partly intact tattoo. She would always be connected to Roy, no matter how many places she went. Riza stared at herself in the mirror, fretting over the tiny strands escaping the back of her bird's tail bun, and fastened them tightly back into the clip. She slipped on a black turtle neck, and put her blue military uniform on, smoothing it out to make herself look disciplined and professional. She continued in her daily routine by reciting all the things that needed to be done, and what was unimportant. Important; keep Roy safe, make Roy do his paperwork, get the team back on track, exercise after work, walk Black Hayate. Unimportant; feelings of love for anyone on the team, feelings of being scared, the lives I have taken ,and the families I've destroyed. She thought all of this while she poured dog chow into Black Hayate's bowl, and snapped her gun holster into place. All three of her guns were loaded in case of an emergency. She wouldn't have any of her subordinates dying on her part.
The office was quiet as usual while she stood at the side of Colonel Mustang's desk. His eyebrows furrowed in his newfound impatience. A stack of papers sat on his desk, unsigned and uncompleted. He leaned his head against the back of the chair. Riza couldn't suggest to him that he should get them done, his eyes were sunken into his face, and he had more frown lines than she could remember. She stared at him, and she knew he had fallen asleep when his face relaxed. Riza looked away, content that she could be by the side of the one she loved. She kept her face stern, not revealing to her comrades her love towards Roy. It was against military rules to get romantically involved with another soldier or state alchemist. It was hard sometimes to hide her feelings for him, but it was much harder to convince herself that she was happy with just being able to see him every day. The more she tried though, the less it worked because she always found herself screaming in her mind that it was just wrong when Roy was with another woman. But seeing Roy deceived her mind, but dreaming about the life they could have made her believe it wasn't enough, but who was she to break the mold of the perfect soldier?
And she was constantly complimented for that. She was the military's definition of perfect, whatever the hell that meant. But what if they knew she broke, what if they knew she gave up when she thought Roy had died? Or if they knew that she would gladly take her own life if he died rather than live without him. What if the military knew she was here for Roy's ideas and his plans for a better Amestris? Well definitely they would see she was not perfect, or disciplined, or even willing to take another's life even if she knew that was what she had to do to protect her people. The team looked up at her, she stared back.
"Well, what are you looking at? Get back to work." She reached for the gun at her waist. All of the men hastily put their heads down to their work, looking occasionally at Riza from the corner of their eyes. Roy snored a bit in his sleep, and Riza smacked his arm, waking him from his short nap. His head snapped forward, and he grasped the arms of his chair. Riza knew he shouldn't be at work in his condition. He was losing sleep and weight working twenty-four hours a day trying to figure out who had murdered Hughes. Riza frowned; she wanted as badly as Roy to find his murderer, but sometimes it was too hard to do what she wanted. She had orders to follow, and she couldn't ignore direct orders from the Fuhrer.
"Lieutenant Hawkeye, can you accompany me outside." It was more of an order, and his voice was controlled. Riza straightened her back, and raised her hand to salute him.
"Yes sir." She waited for his command to stand down. He met her eyes, sighed and closed his eyes a little.
"Stand down, Hawkeye." She relaxed, and followed Roy out of the large double doors, watching his back as they walked. They were wide and strong, and unreachable. Then she ran her eyes up his back, and up his neck where his onyx hair stuck up at the back. It looked soft, clean, and she could imagine herself running her hands through the strands while kissing him. She mentally scolded herself for losing her hold on her emotions. They walked down the busy hallways, and Riza could hardly concentrate on anything but how aware she was that he was there. She wondered if he had ever had trouble with another woman, or if he had ever felt so nervous and conscious of her presence. Roy stopped suddenly, and Riza halted alarmingly fast, although she almost collided with him. He turned towards Riza, with the look he only gave her when no one was else was around.
"You know it's today…the day you're father died." He whispered quietly. Was it? Today, of all days, was when he died suddenly. And abruptly, she felt like the most horrible daughter in the world, she couldn't even remember the date. She found herself staring down at the floor.
"I wanted to see if…if you were okay. Are you?" Riza shook her head, and touched her hand to her forehead.
"I forgot." She laughed at herself because she never forgot anything. Then again, she had no reason to want to remember the man that was supposed to be her father. He destroyed her innocence, took away her interest in alchemy and he had even branded her with destruction. Riza looked up, in complete control of her facial expression; she was more afraid of what was going to come out of her mouth.
"I'm fine Colonel." She wanted to drown herself in work, anything that would take her mind off of her father and Roy. But her response gave the opposite effect, instead Roy moved closer to her.
"Hawkeye, I've known you for almost my whole life, I think I'd know when you are fine. And you are not fine." Riza sucked in a sharp breath, the cold air stung her lungs as the iron ball formed in her throat.
"Sir?" She tried desperately to keep her cool. She hated the fact that he could see right through her.
"Take the day off," Riza reached up, touching the long white scar on her neck; it was a new habit of hers. Roy would always be on her mind. Her body was practically scared with him, and the bumpy skin where she was cut didn't make her mind calm down anymore. She remembered that moment; remembered that the only thing she could hear was Roy's voice echoing in her mind. Screaming at her to stay with him, and when she woke up his warmth was combining with her cold body. His eyes were vulnerable at that moment, and Riza loved that look. She looked into her superior's eyes once more. His eyes were a fierce black, burning occasionally when he was passionate about something. Now, she saw something even more confusing; concern. Roy's cheeks flushed, and he looked away scratching the back of his neck.
"Could you um…stop looking at me like that?" Riza averted her eyes from his, feeling like an idiot.
"My apologies, Sir," Roy nodded; his cheeks still a light pink. Riza remembered that she was still at work, so she controlled herself again.
"With your permission, Sir," she saluted him, "I ask permission to continue working." Roy sighed in exasperation, and this time it was Roy who broke the formalities.
"Riza," Roy only used her first name when he wanted her to listen or to get her to do something,
"I think you should get some rest." Riza felt her hand shoot to her gun.
"I request staying." Roy smirked, and Riza was amazed. He stepped in a little closer, leaning his face closer to hers.
"You wouldn't shoot me." And she felt herself blush; she could smell him. It was a mixture of ash and his shampoo.
"No Sir," Riza whispered, and Roy's face got a little closer. Riza wondered if she was dreaming of if this was real. Roy cautiously touched the scar on her neck.
"I'm sorry," and the line he traced with his finger felt hot like he was burning her, and she felt goose bumps form on her skin. It was the first time he had touched her skin willingly. Other than the occasional graze when she handed him paperwork, they hadn't touched one another.
"For what?" She slowly reached up, meeting his hand at her collar. He traced it one more time before he put his hand at the back of her neck.
"For letting those bastards mark you." She felt herself getting drowsy, and her breath hitched in her throat when Roy traced her jaw with his finger.
"It's not your fault. I left myself wide open." Riza inched herself closer to him, wanting to feel his forbidden heat against her own body. Riza watched as Roy's eyes studied her face, and she felt a bit self-conscious.
"God, you're so beautiful." At that she touched his soft hair, playing with the strands at the back of his neck. He was closer to her lips then she ever thought possible.
"Roy," she tried his name out on her lips, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Hmm?" And he ran his fingers down her back, and she could still feel his touch under the smooth material of her uniform.
"Are you going to kiss me or not?" She whispered, and he leaned their foreheads together before he brushed his lips against hers. He looked at her once more, and then cupped her face in his hands. Riza stood on her tiptoes, meeting Roy's lips halfway. They stumbled against the wall, and Roy gently pressed her against the wall, kissing her again.
Riza felt lightheaded, in all of her wildest dreams, she never thought his kisses would be this hair-raising. She felt a door open behind her, and suddenly she was in the supply closet with Roy. He unclipped her bun, and running his hands through her hair he kissed her neck. He looked her in the eyes again, and Riza stroked his cheek with the back of her hand, and he closed his eyes. Riza smiled to herself. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and rested his head on her shoulder. She embraced him as well, and they stayed like that before they both sunk to the ground where Roy laid down. Riza rested her head in the crook of his shoulder.
She could hear his heart, and she watched as his chest rose and fell.
"I love you." She heard herself blurt out. She pressed a hand against her mouth scared of what he might say back.
"I loved you the day I saw you." And he kissed her forehead. She laid there startled for a bit before she realized Roy had fallen asleep. She decided she would get some rest too, and it didn't take long. Before she fell asleep she thought that it wasn't that bad falling asleep in his arms.
Breda and Fury paced in Mustang's office, they had been waiting for twenty minutes now.
"He's probably asleep in the supply closet, you know?" Breda nodded at Fury's comment, and they strode down the hallway. Breda opened the closet door, and he couldn't hide the surprise on his face. Hawkeye and Mustang were sleeping; Hawkeye with a gentle smile on her normally stern face. Fury quietly closed the door. Breda looked at his teammate before laughing aloud.
"Took 'em long enough!"