Villain Poker Night

by Zaion Indulias

It's saturday night and the villains have gathered for a high stakes game of poker. That is, until a mysterious new villain crashes the game. Just who is this mysterious man, and just what kind of history does he have with Drakken's co-worker Shego?

Title: Villain Poker Night

Format: One-shot

Author: Zaion Indulias

Series: Kim Possible

Notes: Open seats ARE open to 'heroes', although the buy in is normally prohibitively expensive. Despite this, GJ spends it twice over on a weekly basis to place Agents Will Do and Dr. Director in the game. As per the rules of the Villain Poker Night, no present and future business is to be discussed, no fights instigated or grudges initiated, and the heroes' must abide by the same rules. It is considered a neutral location, and more than one deal between villains or deals to turn over an opponent's secrets to GJ has occurred during one of these games. The Buy-ins are large, permanent seats are extremely expensive, and often services or items of value end up joining the bets on the table. The game is held every Saturday night at Senor Senior Senior's Billionaire Club in the Diamond Room, with a professional dealer from Vegas on hand in order ensure the game is played fair and with no cheating.

Permanent Seats: Senor Senior Senior, Senor Senior Junior, Shego, Jack Hench, Camille Leon (in Ron Stoppable: Rise of the Shadow Simian Senor Senior Junior lost his seat in a hand of Poker. He attends as the guest of Senor Senior Senior in place of Professor Dementor. The permanent seat is held instead by the Shadow Simian)

Guests: Gemini, Doctor Drakken, Duff Killigan, Monkey Fist, Professor Dementor,

Open Seats: Motor Ed, Agent Will Do, Dr. Director, Fukushima, Frugal Lucre

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Time: 11:35 PM

Date: Saturday, August 30th, 2008

In L.A. there sits an opulent and extremely expensive resort along the coast of Malibu, the Billionaire's Club. This entrenched establishment, normally a favorite hangout of the rich and extremely powerful, features every amenity you could legally expect in America, and rumor has it many that are decidedly not legal. And on Saturday nights it is also home to a very high-priced and high-powered poker tournament of unique design.

This event, protected thanks to deals with some of the richest and most powerful people on the planet, held on neutral territory with a host of GJ guards just a block away and on-call to arrest anyone who violates the rules, is the one place on the planet where the super villains of the world can come together for a nice, mostly friendly game of poker, without having to worry about the police, FBI, Interpol, GJ, or any other organization breaking it up and arresting them for past crimes.

The aptly named Villain Poker Night is held every Saturday night starting at 9:00PM in the Diamond Room, the most opulent of the Club's private rooms and specifically outfitted to host the poker game. The table has fifteen seats not counting the dealer's station, five permanent, five for guests of those presently in ownership of the permanent seats, and five open seats which go to the highest bidder each week. And the combined output from the game rarely is less than thirty million dollars.

On this particular Saturday there was an eclectic mixture of players, including several who had either been invited as guests, their buy-ins paid for by those who invited them, and several who had obviously scrounged up the money required to buy in through some crime or other. The current 'reigning players', those currently in ownership of permanent seats, were Senor Senior Senior and his son Junior, Shego, Jack Hench the owner of HenchCo, and Camille Leon. Their guests were, respectively, Gemini, Monkey Fist, Doctor Drakken, Professor Dementor, and Duff Killigan. None of the players were quite sure WHY Camille Leon had invited the Scottish golfer, but many suspected the man had covered her buy-in for the night's game since Camille was notoriously broke at the time and there had been no large thefts attributed to her after her recent release from prison. To round out the game were the night's five winners of the bidding for the open seats. Costing over five million per pop on this particular evening, not counting the two million dollar buy-in for the game itself, the seats had been purchased by Doctor Drakken's cousin Motor Ed, Agent Will Do of GJ, Dr. Director, Fukushima, and surprisingly Frugal Lucre. GJ was still trying to figure out what 'frugal' crime Lucre had performed to earn enough to enter the game. And no one had any idea where the ex-Yamanuchi student had scraped up the money, but judging by the looks he and Money Fist had been shooting one another for the last two and a half hours it was likely the British Lord had bankrolled the young man's entry into the game.

After nearly three hours of drinks, 'friendly' chit-chat, and over two hours of vast amounts of funds changing hands through the ups and downs of an elite poker game the game was finally nearing its close. As usual, Shego, Senor Senior Senior, and Monkey Fist were ahead of the pack, ninety-percent of the funds on the table sitting before the trio. Fukushima, Motor Ed, and Agent Will Do had long since been knocked out of the game by overconfident bets, and Motor Ed had even lost three of his customized motorcycles to Junior in a last-ditch attempt to re-enter the game. He was currently present only by virtue of still having enough funds on hand to buy drinks, thus keeping him ejected from the table. Agent Will Do had retreated to the observation post while Fukushima sat at the bar in the corner of the room sulking over a tall drink most were sure was vodka. However, with no one waiting in the wings for an open seat and no one willing to cover the buy-in for any of those dropped from the game to be returned to play this left three open seats and everyone fully aware that a party crasher could arrive at any minute, buy their way into the game, and change the luck of the evening around in a single hand of poker.

"I'm telling you Shego, remote-controlled robotic giant baby soldiers are the troops of the future! Enemy soldiers will be unable to help themselves from going 'awww' at the cuteness of the babies and lower their weapons, thus allowing the baby soldiers to slaughter their foolish opponents!"

Shego groaned and lowered her head to the table before her, nursing her sixth drink of the night. What in the world had convinced her to bring Drakken to her favorite poker game this week she didn't know…oh, yeah, because he promised to stop talking about cocoa moo for a whole month if she let him come play poker. And she had to give it to the blue guy, he was UP nearly a million dollars from his initial buy-in. Of course most of what he had one had been in HenchCo credits, but still, it was 'money' Drakken could use, and maybe the next time Drakken needed HenchCo technology he would just buy it instead of sending her to break in and steal it.

"Yes, yes, quite an interesting idea indeed." Senor Senior Senior drawled in his distinct accent. "But the question is how will you ever get them lifelike enough, or armed enough, and how will you prevent the enemy soldier's innate logic detecting that there is something wrong with the picture before them? After all, everyone knows baby's lack the...manual dexterity needed to handle an AK-47."

Shego just groaned more as she realized that her fellow permanent seaters were actually encouraging Drakken to monologue about his latest plot. Most likely they were doing it to distract him from the game, but she was the one who was going to pay for it in the end. Drakken would guaranteed not shut up about how everyone thought his plan was brilliant for at least the next week. Thankfully she was pulled from the abominable conversation around her by the sound of the door to the Diamond Room being pushed open. She raised her head and looked on in shock as a figure she didn't recognize strode into the room like he owned the place.

The figure was dressed in an almost entirely black outfit with dark green highlights. He had on a black helmet with two wide fins projecting backwards off the sides of the helmet and a dark green visor obscuring his eyes. He had on black riding boots, black gloves, and what appeared to be either matte-black painted metal or ceramic/plastic composites covering strategic spots. He had a green circle on his chest with a stylized double S in black on it. And slung over his shoulder was an open black duffle bag, a large quantity of bills visible within. And then he spoke.

"I hope I'm not missing all the fun."

Whoever this strange figure was he was obviously using some sort of voice manipulator. His voice was deep and oddly modulated. In fact, it reminded Shego of characters she had seen on a scifi series once, she couldn't remember the title at the moment, just that they had glowing eyes and weirdly modulated voices.

"Who the hell are you?" Professor Dementor challenged, looking up from the cards he had just been dealt as the next hand began.

"Who I am is of no importance. What is important is that I have here is sixty million dollars. Sixty million dollars that I would like to put up as the bet on a hand of poker." The figure's voice clearly sounded as if he were grinning. "I wish to place this sixty million dollars on a single hand against all of you, all in." He emphasized the all in part.

"The only requirement, is that ALL of you still in the game must be willing to go all-in on the bet and that ONE of you at this table must be willing to bet their permanent seat."

There was silence at the table as what this strange figure was obviously after became clear. Whoever he was, he had a lot of money and he wanted to purchase a permanent seat at the table.

"I am sure it will be no problem friend. The odds are against you, but even should you win I can always attend as my Father's guest. I shall add my seat to the bet." Junior said, drawing a gold-embossed disc from his pocket and placing it on the table, a permanent seat token.

With the chance at a permanent seat in play every single player remaining in the game immediately pushed their piles into the middle of the table. With a grin the mysterious figure stepped up to the table, taking the offered seat besides Shego.

"So, what is your name mysterious stranger?" Shego asked, mentally eyeing her new neighbor and the surprisingly fit figure he offered underneath his tight fitting outfit.

The stranger cocked his head at her for a moment before taking her hand and raising it to where his lips would be were he not currently hiding his face behind a helmet.

"You may call me the Shadow Simian, Mon Cherie. It is an honor to be seated next to such a deadly beauty as your-self. I have heard many tails of your exploits in battle."

"The Shadow Simian? What a laugh. The only monkey worthy to sit at this table is me." Monkey Fist said, rising in anger at the impertinence of this upstart.

The now-identified Shadow Simian turned to face Monkey Fist.

"Lord Montgomery Fiske, aka Monkey Fist, master of Tae Sheng Pek War and leader of the monkey ninjas. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Did you enjoy the device I sent to your minions last month?"

Monkey Fist's tirade abruptly ended and he sat down with a thump.

"That was you?"

Shadow Simian nodded his head slightly.

"That it was. I felt that just because you followed the path of the Yono was no reason for such a skilled master of Tae Sheng Pek War to rot frozen in stone beneath the earth. I trust you are satisfied with your restoration?"

Monkey Fist simply stared in shock as Shadow Simian returned his focus to the rest of the table, where the cards for this final hand of the night had just been dealt and tossed his duffle-bag onto the pile.

"So, shall we see what hands fate has dealt us?" Shadow Simian said, his voice clearly revealing his grin.

With wary and focused eyes the occupants of the table slowly lifted their hands, watching to see what they had been dealt.

"Ha! Take that!" Drakken yelled, suddenly throwing his cards face down on the table. He had a straight flush, the nine through five of hearts.

Around the table groans were heard, as it was highly unlikely anyone would beat that. And since this wasn't five card draw or any other version of Poker where cards could be discarded and replaced each player was stuck with the hand they were dealt. One by one those around the table began to curse and groan as they dropped their useless hands on the table. Finally all that remained was the proudly grinning Drakken, the focused Junior, and the mysterious and unreadable Shadow Simian.

"Well, my friend, it was a worthy bet, but I am afraid that tonight I shall be keeping my seat. Straight flush, spades, King high."

Around the table there were gasps. Junior had received a nearly perfect hand. There was almost no chance that the Shadow Simian could win.

"Royal Flush in Hearts." Shadow Simian said calmly, revealing his hand.

Sure enough, the mysterious stranger had done it. He had been dealt a perfect hand, and was to walk away with the entire table that evening. Thirty million dollars cash from the assorted buy-ins, his own sixty-million dollar bet, a seat at the table, the last one of which had been sold to Camille Leon for over forty million dollars from a nearly broke Professor Dementor, and the assorted goods and services which had been added to the pot throughout the evening, including Motor Ed's custom cycles and several devices created by HenchCo, Professor Dementor, and Doctor Drakken.

As the players broke up in annoyance and depression and began to head out of the Diamond room to head their separate ways Shego sidled up to the Shadow Simian, who currently had a pair of similarly suited goons bagging up his gear.

"So, tell me, Shadow Simian. Are you as handsome under that mask as you sound?" She purred as she traced a lone finger under the edge of his helmet.

Shadow Simian regarded her for a long moment before replying.

"I guess I can show you, Battle Goddess."

Despite her usual demeanor Shego blushed slightly at the compliment, a blush that quickly turned to pale shock as the Shadow Simian raised his visor and revealed the countenance hidden beneath.

"Hello Shego." The man spoke, his voice still modulated. "It's been a while."

AN: This is a short little one shot to set up another idea I had. I promise, all will be made clear in time. But for now, know that this takes place during the summer after Ron and KP's graduation. The date is determined based on the air dates of the final season of Kim Possible, with earlier dates working backwards from their graduation. Keep your eyes open for the true fic sometime before the end of summer, less life gets too hectic or the writing monkeys throw a block in my way.

Jaa ne.

-ZI