Disclaimer:

Videlnc: "Do you honestly think I'd be writing fanfiction of Kingdom Hearts if it was my own creation?"

Riku: "Nah, you're not that hopeless."

Videlnc: "Eh…right"

Riku: "So yeah, don't sue her, because she's…"

Sora: "Poooooooooooooooooor"

Videlnc: "And there's another reason why I couldn't possibly be the owner of Kingdom Hearts"

Riku: "Because then she would have been…"

Sora: "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiich"

Videlnc: "Exactly, and I still wouldn't be writing fanfiction about it."

Riku: "So, to make it short…"

Sora: "She doesn't own Kingdom Hearts…"

Riku: "So don't sue her."

Videlnc: "Because then I wouldn't be writing fanfiction about Kingdom Hearts anymore."

Sora: "So there!"

Riku: "Yah!"

Author's Notes:

Firstly: This is a YAOI story, that means male/male pairings. If you're not comfortable with it, please leave and use your time for something you see fit. Again I tell you: It's gay – orientated. Do you understand? It's male LOVES male! I hope I made that clear to you. So don't you dare flame me about it, because then I would just see you as an illiterate retard.

Secondly: If you like Kairi, you might be a little mad at me while reading this story. I don't actually bash her, but when she does appear, she will NOT be a nice person. So yeah. So don't you dare flame me about it either, I warned you.

Thirdly: It's an AU (Alternate Universe, for those who don't know). I will use some of the same locations as in Kingdom Hearts, but this story has nothing, whatsoever, to do with the game. And that's a third reason you don't have to dare flame me about. (If you do, I'd only advise you to read the author's notes next time, it might contain some vital information about the fic)

And now for all of you who are still interested in reading this story: It will be mainly about Sora/Riku. I will portray Sora a little differently, he will be the more dominant male in this story and not Riku. Also there will be some other pairings in the future, but that's for later. This story will also contain drugs, swearing, pain, sadness, and so on. It will be a dark dramatic ansty romance fic.

So that's about it. I hope you'll enjoy it!

Riku & Sora: review!

Riku's POV

It was about 11 o' clock in the evening when they called me. I went down to the hospital as fast as I could driving full speed. But when I arrived they said there was nothing they could do.

"Your mother died in the accident. Your father was still alive when we found him, we brought him here as quick as possible, but he suffered from severe internal bleeding. He passed away 10 minutes ago. I'm sorry."

Thinking back on it a few hours later I realized how easy they had made it sound and how easily I had taken it. I hadn't shown any emotion what so ever and just accepted it, as though it was the most normal situation in the world.

Sighing I stood up and walked towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water. It was about 5 o' clock in the morning and I hadn't called anyone yet. I had no real family, both my parents were only children, and my grandparents had all died a few years ago. I didn't have the need to call my friends either.

Friends…that word makes you think. Yes I have a few, well actually it would be better to call them pals instead of friends. There's Tidus and Selphie they're an item now. And then there's Kairi 'Miss popular', she barely spoke to me anymore. Waka was the only one of my 'old' friends with whom I regularly had contact.

And then there's Sora… He moved away from the Islands 3 years ago, it wasn't his fault though. His father had found a new and better job back at Travers Town, and so he had taken his wife and son with him. Sora and I promised to keep in contact by writing letters or emails and stuff. But to my disappointment he didn't have a computer back there and well the writing letters stuff kinda disappeared over time too because he never wrote me back. So I hadn't heard from him in 3 years now. He probably had new and better friends anyway.

I finished my glass of water and decided to go to bed for at least a few hours of sleep. Next day would be a busy day after all, I was going to arrange a funeral. Sighing I went to my room and crawled in my bed, not bothering to change into my pyjamas. I fell a sleep immediately.

Three days later

"We're so sorry, Riku. If there's anything we can do just call us, okay?" Selphie and Tidus were nice people, really, but I just didn't want to depend on them.

I had arranged a small funeral in honour of my parents and only invited those few people and friends of the islands my parents and I had contact with. To my amazement I had even written an invitation to Sora and his parents, but I hadn't expected them to show up anyway. Selphie, Tidus, Wakka and even Kairi had all stood by my side during the ceremony, ready to comfort me if needed…but I hadn't shred a tear since my parents died. I didn't know how to cry.

When I was back at home I locked off all the doors and went straight to bed. I couldn't sleep though, I was awake during the entire night pondering on what I was going to do now, how I was going to live my life. I hadn't even finished school yet! I was 18 and in my last year of high school. Normally I would have gone to Traverse Town or some place else next year to go to university, but now that wouldn't be an option anymore simply because I had no money. I was to old for an orphanage and so if I wanted to survive I'd have to go and find a job to combine with school.

I had never had a job before…really I'd always been a spoiled child. That made it even harder right now. Around 3 o' clock in the morning I had finally drifted away in a memory filled sleep.

'Riku! Riiiiiiiku!' When I looked behind me I saw a 9 year old Sora running towards me holding a star shaped fruit. I started smiling broadly and walked over to the little boy. Though I was only a year older, I reached at least a head higher than him, making me look more dominant and strong. Sora stopped right in front of me and stuck out his hand showing me the star shaped fruit.

'Look! It's a paopu Riku! Remember last time when your mom told us about the legend how it made two people stay together forever?' I nodded and looked at it. 'Well, lets share one Riku, then we'll be friends forever!' I looked at him showing a genuine smile and took the Paopu, carefully breaking it into two pieces I gave one half to him and kept the other one for myself.

'RIIIIIIIIIIIING!'

I woke up in shock to the sound of the doorbell. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes I looked over to the alarmclock and saw it was 8 o' clock in the morning. I heard the doorbell ring again and very irritated by now, I quickly jumped out of bed and ran towards the front door. When I opened it I saw two men in black suits. One of them was wearing pitch black sunglasses and had an emotionless expression. The other was wearing a black hat and was holding a black suitcase.

"Are you Mr. Riku Takanari?" The man with the suitcase asked. I just nodded. "Can we come in? We need to talk to you." Giving both men a suspicious look I eventually stepped aside allowing them to enter. I closed the door behind us and lead them into the living room, motioning for them to sit down on one the coaches.

"First of all we want to offer our condolence, we're very sorry for what happened. But I'm afraid we have some bad news. You may not now of this, but your parents have some great debts with the banks. They had once owned a company of their own but it went bankrupt. Since then they have been paying of their debts to the banks but they still need to pay 200.000 dollars now. I assume you're still going to school?"

I looked at them in shock. My parents had never mentioned anything of this! Yes, I knew they had a company once, but they never told my it went bankrupt. And why was the other man not talking? What was going on?

"Yes" I answered the man simply.

The man who had done all the talking turned to his partner and they had a silent conversation. The man with the glasses nodded and started taking notes while the other man turned his

attention back towards me.

"Do you have any relatives? Anyone you know you could stay with?" He asked. And I shook my head. I had no family and well, my friends…I couldn't allow myself to depend on them.

The man sighed a little but continued. "So, you're still going to school, don't have any relatives or friends to stay with..." He paused a few moments to think "Do you have a job?"

"No, but I was gonna look for one today" I answered sitting down in a coach opposite of them. The two men started whispering again and finally they turned back to me.

"Good. Look, we need to have the money your parents owe the banks. But since you can't pay it off we're going to confiscate this house and all your parents possessions…"

"What?" I interrupted the man, giving him an expression of disbelief and utter shock.

"No wait, let me finish. We're going to give you two weeks to find a job and a place to live at. Once you have that we'll contact you again and confiscate this property. I'm really sorry we have to do this, but it's our job."

I sat there for a while letting the entire situation sink in and thought about my future, which was now completely ruined.

"Wait…so my parents haven't got any money on the banks left? Not even something to get me started?" I asked hopefully. But the man shook his head in sad understanding.

It didn't take me long to accept my downfall and I finally sighed in defeat. Not much later when the two men left I went to the kitchen and grabbed myself a glass of fresh water and began pondering about the whole ordeal. Why should I even try to find a job, I was going to loose this house anyway. If my parents hadn't gone out that day, they wouldn't have been caught up in an accident and everything would still be fine! But no…they so deliberately wanted to go to the movies that evening and the worst thing was that I even encouraged them…I encouraged them to go so I could have an evening for my own. I've always been selfish.

"This is all my fault…" I hissed not really wanting to speak out loud at all. "But why should it be my fault? They're the ones who went! They're the ones that were driving, not I. So it's not my fault…

"It's their fault!" I said very determindly. "They did this to me…"

That night I did the one thing I never expected ever doing, I went over to Kairi. She let me in the house and listened to me all night long. I told her everything. That my house was going to be taken away from me, that I had to find a job and a place to live, that I had nothing left in the whole world and that I missed my once best friend. That night she comforted me and she told me not to think of Sora anymore, she told me to let him go because that's what he had done to us.

It wasn't until 4 o' clock in the morning that I decided to go back home. Kairi was already asleep so I silently went out by the backdoor. I hopped over the white fence surrounding her parents beautiful house and headed down the street. But instead of turning left to go to my house I kept following the street as I looked down towards my feet. I never looked back….

Three years later

Sora's POV

The moment I stepped off the ferry, my memories of times past flooded through my head. It had been 6 years since I left Destiny Islands and being able to walk on these long longed for docks of the main harbour of the Islands again, felt so good! The moment I finished cooking school I decided to move back to the Islands to open a little restaurant, meet old friends and generally pick up my old life again. Good god I'd missed it so much! But there was one person I was really longing to see again… My parents had tried everything to prevent me from coming back, but I just had to. As things were, I couldn't live in Traverse Town anymore. I had no real friends there, I went to a good but non – enjoyable boarding school for cooks and I was a loner. These past few years where like hell, but it was the thought of being able to come back here, that kept me going. And now here I was, standing on these docks with two giant suitcases in my hands, a backpack on my back and the biggest smile anyone could muster.

I decided to rent a room in the little hotel downtown to drop off my stuff so I could go and take a look around for a while. Maybe even visit some old friends. Gods, I had missed them all so much…

It surprised me that even after those six long years I had gone away, the main island we lived on hadn't changed that much. There were still all those little shops and places me and my friends used to visit when we were younger. I immediately fell in love with the place again.

Then there it was, my house, or at least the building I used to call home. It was repainted but other than that it still looked the same. But my old home didn't interest me so much, it was the house beside it that made me feel so nauseating but thrilled at the same time. It was Riku's…

As I walked through the front garden I realised it looked like a mess. In fact, the entire house was a total mess as well. My happy face suddenly twisted into a face of disbelief. What had happened to that once beautiful white house? The white paint was beginning to peal off, and the bare wood beneath it was rotting.

As I neared the front door, I had a tight feeling in my stomach. I saw the windows were full of dust and overly sticky. It looked like they hadn't been cleaned for a long time. I don't know why, maybe out of hope, but I knocked on the door. Once…twice, even three times before I gave into realising that there was no one living in this house anymore.

I walked down the street towards Kairi's house, and all sorts of thoughts were running through my head. 'Where was Riku? Had his parents and him moved as well? If so, why hadn't he written to me about it? At least then I could have known why he never answered my letters…'

I knocked on the door, and Kairi's mother opened it, an amazed expression upon her face.

"My God, Sora! It's been such a long time since I've seen you! How are you doing? Look at you, you've grown into such a fine and handsome boy! The girls must be swarming around you…"

I just looked at her while she talked on and on, my smile never fading. It was typical, this woman, once she began babbling no one could interrupt her. It was better to just let yourself go with the flow, her babbling would eventually die out.

"Oooh! I bet you're here to see Kairi. You guys must have a lot of catching up to do."

And before I could answer, she turned around and yelled for Kairi to come down. After closing my mouth, without having spoken, she ushered me to come in. Walking into the hallway I saw Kairi standing on top of the stairs looking down at me.

'Wow' That was the only thought that came to my mind. She had grown into a total babe. Well maybe not a 'babe' in the sense of the word, but she was beautiful nonetheless. She didn't look at all what she looked like when I had last seen her. Her hair was longer now, still the same reddish colour, but the hairdo was much better. Also her body had developed into a nice curved temple of femininity. Yes, she was very admirable.

"Sora?" Her soft voice brought me back to reality and made me blink a few times before I smiled up to her.

"Yup, the one and only" I answered happily.

"You're….back! I can't believe it…you really are back, aren't you?" She was walking down the stairs now, stopping right in front of me with a glint of hope in her eyes.

"Yes, I am." With those three simple words said, she flung into my arms, embracing me as hard as she could.

"I missed you so much, Sora! If only you knew!"

Was she crying? Yes she most definitely was, because I heard her sniffle in my neck, and her curved body shivered in my arms as she dug her fingers into my shirt to embrace me even tighter. I rubbed her back and tried to make her calm down.

"Please don't cry, if I'm saddening you with my return, please tell me and I'll leave immediately." I was joking. We both knew I was, because I heard her chuckling.

"These are tears of joy, silly!" she smiled pushing me away.

We talked the entire evening, catching up on each other's lives, and telling her of my plan to open a restaurant here on Destiny Islands. But late that evening, after her parents had gone to bed and we were still sitting in the comfy sofa's in their living room, her expression changed into a serious frown.

"I'm sure, I wasn't the first person on your visiting list though…" she said silently, waiting patiently for my answer.

I looked down at my hands resting in my lap, as I played with a little piece of paper, rolling and unrolling it.

"No…" I sighed, I had never lost the thought of Riku's desolated house the entire evening, and was now, in fact, afraid to hear the very reason why it came to be in such a state "You're right, I went to see Riku first. He wasn't there."

She laughed sadly. And I looked up at her.

"Where is he, Kairi?"

"You really don't know what happened, do you?" She asked mockingly. Wait, was she mad?

Why would she be mad at me?

I shook my head slowly. "No, I…I don't know a thing."

She turned her head looking me straight into the eyes as she grabbed hold of my hands.

"Well, I'm afraid I have some bad news."

'Oh no, he's dead! I can just tell by the look in her eyes. And…oooh God, that's why she's mad, because she thinks I knew somehow but still didn't come to his funeral. And that's why his parents moved away without giving me any notice of it. I hate my life, I hate myself!'

My eyes were starting to water, and I had to blink to prevent the tears from falling. But Kairi continued her story.

"Three years ago Riku's parents had a serious car accident and they died the very evening, leaving Riku behind…"

"What?" I interrupted her, but a look of relief definitely visible on my face, making Kairi frown for a moment.

"Yes, sadly enough. But Riku was left behind, still going to school and having no job to support himself."

"Yeah, but knowing Riku, he would be very able to support himself without any troubles. I mean, his parents were away on business trips so often. He was used to being alone and taking care of himself." I talked reassuring the both of us.

"Well yes, normally. But sadly enough this wasn't the end of it. The day after the funeral two men from the banks paid him a visit telling him his parents had a large debt with the banks and so they had come to take away his home…"

"Excuse me?" I asked disbelievingly.

"I know, that same evening he came to me telling me everything about it. But I had fallen a sleep and the next morning he was gone."

"Where to? He did tell you, didn't he?" I hoped…I could only hope.

"He didn't tell me…"

"Bu…"

"No, wait. Let me finish, Sora. He did leave me a letter, telling me he was leaving Destiny Islands to start a new life somewhere else. He also wrote he was going to look for someone." She said rubbing my hand with her fingers.

"Do you still have that letter?"

"No. But my only guess is that that 'someone' he's looking for, is you, Sora." She looked me in the eyes. I nodded in understanding.

"So that means he's gone to Travers Town" I frowned, thinking to myself.

'Three years…and I hadn't seen him once there. That's weird. I knew Traverse Town by heart…at least the upper part of town, where the normal people live. Then that means he must have moved to the lower part of town…not that there weren't any rich or normal people down there, it was just the dark side of the town with all kinds of dark things happening there. I remember people from my side of town calling it: 'The underworld'.

I shivered. And Kairi saw it.

"Is something wrong?" A look of worry in her eyes.

"Ooh Kairi…" I sighed and she tensed. "I don't have a good feeling about this. You know Traverse Town exists out of two very different parts. First there's Upper Town where normal people with families like you and I live, then there's also Lower Town. There's mostly poor and weird people living down there. I'm afraid he might be there…"

Kairi didn't say anything she just looked down and shook her head.

"I'm going back Kairi. I'm going back to Travers Town to search for Riku." I said determinedly.

"No! Sora, come on, you can't be serious! You just came back. Stay at least a few more days. Riku's been there for three years now…a few more days won't make any difference." She pulled on my arms, trying to bring me back to my senses. But I had made up my mind.

"It makes a difference to me, Kairi. I can't bear the fact knowing that he might be in danger, when we're here all happy and safe."

"But Sora…"

"He was our friend, Kairi."

She lowered her head in defeat. I reached out and cupped her face with my hands.

"Look at me, Kairi."

She lifted her head slowly and her teary eyes made me feel very guilty, but I had no choice. Right now Kairi wasn't important. She was safe and well, and that's all that mattered. Right now Riku was the one who was important. I had lost our friendship, and if I ever wanted it back again I would have to go back to Travers Town and find him to see if he was OK. That was the only way I could ever be at peace again. Even if he was alright and had started a new life with new people, at least I would have seen him again and I would have let him know I never knew what happened to his parents…that it never was my intention to lose all contact. Maybe, if I found him…he could forgive me and we could be friends again.

"I have to go and find him. Do you remember when we used to be little and he always used to beat me at everything?"

"Yeah…" A soft smile graced her features as the memories filled her mind.

"How he always used to be the 'better' one and how he always used to take care of us if something was wrong or how he always used to comfort us when we were sad?"

She nodded, and I smiled back at her.

"Well, maybe now it's my turn to take care of him. Kairi, this is my only way in ever regaining his friendship again, you understand? I have to go back, I have no other choice."

A few tears fell down on her cheeks. And I embraced her, petting her head softly as I comforted her.

"I promise, that if I find him, I will let you know immediately. I will never loose contact with any of you again, I mean it!"

I tightened our embrace and Kairi heaved a sigh. We sat silent for a few moments, rocking back and forward softly, lost in our embrace.

"I must tell you something" She said softly, breaking the silence as she breathed on my shoulder.

"Yes?" I answered, not letting go of her.

"I always envied Riku, do you know that?"

I didn't answer, just kept stroking her hair and continued listening to what she had to say.

"I…I used to be in love with you. But whenever Riku was around, you're attention was always on him…"

I remained silent and kept stroking her hair, and she continued talking.

"You always used to have that sparkle in your eyes whenever you looked at him. I wanted you to look at me with that sparkle in your eyes. But no matter what I did or said, you never looked at me the way you looked at him."

She paused for a moment, her breath shaking as she chuckled a little.

"I remember the last week you were on the Islands, we were going to a party. And I had bought a beautiful new dress, I had even put on make-up for the very first time…all in hope you would notice me and look at me in that very special way. But you never did. The entire evening you only had eyes for Riku. It was that night that I realised it wasn't a sparkle of mere admiration, it was more. It was much deeper. And I realised you would never look at me that way. After you left, I almost never spoke to Riku again. I blamed him for your leave, you see?"

Silence.

"Because I was jealous, Sora. Because I was so very jealous of him. I did a horrible thing, Sora…"

I stopped stroking her hair and sat back a little, holding her shoulders with my hands and looked at her with a questioning gaze. She looked down ashamedly at her hands as she played with the hem of her shirt.

"I am the reason why you lost contact."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

She began crying, only this time it was for real.

"I…I intercepted both yours and Riku's letters."

"You did what?" I was shocked now. She did what?

"Whenever Riku received mail I took the letters coming from you out of his mailbox and I intercepted Riku's letters for you in the post office. It wasn't that difficult because most of the time I suggested taking his letters to the post office myself, because I had to go down town, or I had some letters of my own to post. It became an obsession Sora. I began checking his mailbox almost every hour, I was so afraid he'd ever receive a letter from you. I even held back the letter in which he had written about the death of his parents. I wanted him to feel unwanted! I wanted him to be in pain! I hated him Sora…I truly hated him. "

I was at a loss of words. What she had done was utterly unforgivable, she had broken our friendship for no reason. I started shaking my head slowly, still not looking away from her eyes.

"Sora…" She reached out to take hold of my arms, but I pushed her away and stood up.

"How could you…" I whispered disbelievingly.

"I'm sorry, I never meant for it to go so far…"

"How could you…" I kept repeating shaking my head in utter disgust.

"I'm really sorry, Sora! I never wanted him to go away…"

"But he did! Didn't he?" I yelled, I didn't care if I'd woken up half of the Island. I didn't care at all. I was mad now, no, 'mad' didn't even come close to describe what I felt, I was furious!

"Sora, please don't yell! You'll wake up my parents!"

"To hell with your parents, Kairi! What you did is unforgivable, you know that? I want you to know that I will never forgive you for what you've done…NEVER!" I was glaring at her.

"Sor…"

"Shut up! To think that we have been talking happily all evening as if everything was alright, and now you decide to tell me? I am sad for you, Kairi. I am really sad for you." I picked up my jacket and started putting it on, as she jumped up and forced me to look at her.

"You've got to understand! I felt unwanted, Sora! I've felt unwanted all my life!"

"That's no excuse, Kairi." I said sternly.

"Do you know why I felt unwanted?"

"I don't think I care anymore…" I tried to turn around, but she forced me to look back at her.

"Because all your life, you only wanted him!" Tears were streaming violently down her cheeks and I looked wide-eyed at her, unable to say anything. "Yes Sora, you never realised it yourself, but that's what I discovered that very night. That's why you only had that sparkle in your eyes when you looked at him. You loved him Sora…you still do. That's why you came back to the Islands, and that's why you're going back to Traverse Town right now…because you can't live without him."

We were silent for a few moments, and her crying died out. Without saying anything I turned away and started walking toward the front door. Taking hold of the doorknob I turned around casting one last look at a sniffling Kairi. She didn't try to stop me anymore.

"You know, back earlier when you told me his parents had died, I heaved a sigh of relief. Because I thought you were going to say Riku had died. Thanks to you, maybe now he already has." I turned towards the door again, opened it and left without saying a word.

That was the first chapter! Did you enjoy it? I hope so… So what do you think of Sora? He'll be the one comforting and taking care of Riku in this story. I don't know how soon I will update this fic, it all depends on how much time and inspiration I have. I also can't have the feeling of being forced to write this story within a certain span of time, because then my inspiration will be trackless. But don't worry, I'm totally into this fic! I've got so many ideas I want to import into the story that I'll definitely continue it. And I'm planning on it being a long story, with many chapters. So yeah, patience is a virtue .

Oh and another thing, as you might have noticed there are soooo many typo's in this story. I've read it and re-read it an uncountable amount of times. But there are always those mistakes you keep reading over. Also English is not my native language. So if anyone is interested, I'm looking for a Beta. You can always contact me by email. Thanks!

Stay tuned!