The air whooshed by Sam's ear. Leaves crunched under his feet as he wandered aimlessly through the fog. It was autumn of his first year at Stanford. Memories flooded back to him as he paused at a gnarled tree.
A tree he had leaned on after escaping the thrum of the bass from a nightclub Brady had dragged him to. A tree that offered him the solace of shade when he wanted to take notes outside. A tree that he took notes and organized them under. A tree he'd sat under while ranting about his dick of a professor from intro to law. A tree he'd set a picnic under for his anniversary with Jess. So as he rested under this tree he couldn't help but wonder what he'd experience this time.
"Sam," the name came as a caress from behind him. Sam stiffened, he didn't want this memory.
"Lucifer," Sam turned around to face him. Lucifer was still wearing Nick, but he was not disintegrating in this dream world.
"That is my name, Sam, but I do with you wouldn't say it with such distaste," Lucifer says as he twirls the stem of a leaf in his hand. Sam could feel his veins pumping adrenaline preparing for a fight-or-flight situation that would inevitably end in a fight.
"You don't need to be afraid, Sam, you were never supposed to fear me," Lucifer continues. "You're my vessel for more reason than one; we have so much in common," he finally raises his head to look Sam in the eye.
"I'm nothing like you," Sam says with conviction.
"I'm sure you'll be able to see my point of view," Lucifer says as he moves towards Sam. Sam finds himself immobilized and Lucifer raises his hand to Sam's forehead.
Sam appears in a hotel room along with Lucifer.
'But I don't want to change schools!'
'Sammy, you know we have to go with dad, we'll find a new school,' Dean promised.
'Why can't dad just leave us here, it's not like he's ever around anyways,' Sam pouted.
'Don't say that! Dad does his best but he's got to go save people, Sammy.'
"From a young age you questioned your father," Lucifer narrates, "Your father asked too much of you, to move around with him, it was no life for a child."
"I didn't get along with dad, sure, but I never corrupted an entire species," Sam protests, refusing to acknowledge any parallel between the two.
The scene changed into a grand room with walls covered in marble tiles depicting different events. The room had to belong to a palace, it was huge! The room featured a few decorative things humans would have, such as the pictures and a few potted plants. Sam felt the cool white marble under his feet and looked up to admire to blending of crimson and gold on the ceiling. At the center of the room sat two chaises, one matched the room, it was slightly larger, and the second was no distasteful, it was blended black and silver, but it clearly did not belong.
"This is," Sam gestures, "real?" Real wasn't the right word, but Lucifer seems to understand, as he nods his head.
"This is a memory of mine, adapted, of course, so your human brain can process it," Lucifer informs him. "The closest comparison I could draw for what an angel actually looks like would be a glowing, floating ball of light. I thought you might find it less distracting if they looked like humans with wings, as your culture likes to see us."
Sam nods, that makes sense. Looking around, Sam couldn't deny he was in awe of the architecture, the infinite detail etched into the tiles, the combinations of colors that made the room feel royal. His attention was soon drawn to two figures entering the room.
Lucifer looked much like himself, or rather, his current vessel, with the addition of wings. His wings were a beautiful crimson with golden tips. They were pulled to his back, but Sam guessed they were about thirty feet when fully spanned out. Sam guessed that from the color palate, this was his room. It just seemed to fit, combining white marble with crimson and golden accessories.
The other being was without wings, but when Sam tried to look directly at him, he felt as if he was satring at the sun. Sam had managed to ascertain that he was wearing silver robes with ash black accents.
'Father, I do not mean to imply You have not created an impressive being, but, do You not think You have over done it?'
Sam guessed the second figure was God, and he had to take a moment just to be in awe, this was God, this was the creator of the universe! One Sam realized who He was, it became was easier to focus on Him. He had salt and pepper hair, not nearly as long as human drawings depicted it, as well as a beard, which, like his hair, was not longer than four inches. He had piercing eyes that seemed to change color depending on the angel they were viewed from.
'Do not flatter me, speak your mind, son.' He spoke kindly, but with authority.
'They do not obey Your will,' memory-Lucifer spilled.
'It has not been proven that they do not.'
'You've seen, they've been tempted, they will disobey,' memory-Lucifer said with conviction.
'But they have not, yet. I will not pass judgment until they have proven themselves disobedient,' God said calmly and continued walking to sit on his chaise. Lucifer followed and they leant in, having an intense debate.
The scene shifted to the garden Sam saw on the tiles. There was a warm, soft breeze that carried the scent of fresh oranges. Sam could feel the warm rays of the sun heating on his back. They were in a grove, feet brushing soft green grass, standing under an orange tree. Luscious bushes swayed rustling their leaves, bushed out into the wind. There were a bounty of fruits and flowers accenting the vast greenery.
"This is Eden," Sam whispers in awe.
"Yes," Lucifer answers, as absorbed in the memory as Sam.
'Father has asked us not to,' a woman says. Sam and Lucifer turn to see memory-Lucifer pulling an apple from the largest tree.
'But, look, I too am a child of our Lord and I can eat from the tree,' memory-Lucifer prompts as he bites into the crisp apple.
'Father said he loves us unconditionally, surely he would not go back on his word. If he loves you he will forgive you for eating from this tree; he loves you, why would he deny his children anything?'
Sam cries out for her to stop, but it's too late, the crunch of her bite has sealed the fate of humanity forever.
"You see, my father never cared for what his children wanted either."
"It was a test; they were never tempted until you showed up!"
"But they could be tempted," Lucifer points out. "I didn't corrupt humanity; I just enabled what would inevitably happen. If they were truly pure, they couldn't be tempted by even me."
Sam was trying to prepare an argument but the scene shifted again. They were back in the palace, and memory-Lucifer was lounging on his chaise.
'Lucifer,' Roared God, pacing in front of his chaise.
'Father,' Lucifer replied calmly.
'You have corrupted my children,' God accused.
'I didn't corrupt them; I just enabled the woman to corrupt themselves,' Lucifer defended.
'I must call in your brothers for council, what you have done will not go unpunished.'
'Very well,' Memory-Lucifer replied with false bravado. Sam guessed God, much like himself, could see right through it. Lucifer was scared. As soon as God left, the scene changed.
They were in another hotel room, the carpet harshly grated on Sam's feet as he moved around to examine it.
'Dean, I'm leaving,' memory-Sam announced.
'Sammy, please, stay, dad didn't mean it!'
'He doesn't want me here, Dean, we never got along and now we're finally going to split ways.'
'Sammy, listen to me, just stay, I'll talk to him, maybe we-'
'Dean, I'm leaving, nothing you can say will change that. I'm not leaving because of you, Dean, come with me, you don't have to lose me.'
'How dare you make me choose!'
'My offer stands,' memory-Sam replied stiffly.
Sam didn't have to say anything. He never could forget this night, Lucifer didn't need to bring up this memory, and it was always at the surface of his mind.
'I can't leave dad,' Dean said quietly. 'Please stay, I'll talk to dad, we can work something out!'
'You know I can't do that,' memory-Sam said without emotion. 'So this is how it ends. Don't bother trying to find me, I don't want to be found,' Sam said as he walked towards the door.
'You can't go!' Dean pulled his gun from his jacket, 'I-I'll shoot!'
'If you do, you'll miss. You don't really want to hit me, Dean. I'm sorry it had to end this way, take care of yourself,' memory-Sam pulled open the door and stepped into the parking lot, hit by the cold breeze of the night. Dean did shoot, but he hit the door frame. Sam had been right, he didn't really want to hit.
The scene changed and they were in another vast room, much like Lucifer's it featured a high ceiling and vast space. The color scheme, however, was a deep blue accented by streaks of silver. Somehow this room felt less personal than Lucifer's, it featured noticeably less personal touches, such as pictures. Sam didn't know if Lucifer just hadn't thought to add them, or if they didn't exist.
'Brother,' the inhabitant addressed memory-Lucifer as he entered.
'Brother,' Lucifer replied in greeting. 'I'll be brief, no doubt you've heard the news from Eden-'
'Save your groveling. I know what happened, I know what you did.'
'I didn't make them disobey, they chose to.'
'Because you told them they could!'
'I didn't lie to them; they were able to consume the fruit.'
'They're Father's creations; they were not yours to mess with.'
'I understand that,' memory-Lucifer began.
'So, riddle me this, if you understood that, why did you do it?'
'Michael, please, try to understand.'
'I'm trying, but I can't.'
'They're Father's creations, that means I can't change them,' memory-Lucifer began, 'I didn't force them to eat the fruit, they did so of their own free will.'
'I understand.'
'You do?' Memory-Lucifer asked with excitement.
'But, brother, you should not have done that.'
'I know brother, please, help me make Father understand.'
'I cannot do that, Father's word is law, he wishes you banished, he already held council with Raphael, Gabriel, and I. I suspect he will inform you of our decision soon.' Memory-Lucifer stood, mouth agape, in shock.
'You would allow this to happen? To your own brother?' Lucifer cried out.
'It is what Father wishes,' Michael said mourning for the soon to come loss of his brother.
The scene cut out there. They were back in the forest, surrounded by trees lit only by the moonlight.
"So you see, Sam, we are not that different," Lucifer concludes. Sam swallows, throat dry since reliving his departure.
"I get it, I get it better than I used to," He admitted. He felt bile rising in his stomach; he was sympathizing with the Devil for heaven's sake!
"So you see, I never wanted to fight my brother, it was he who would not listen, he who would not stand down."
"You screwed up," Sam says.
"Yes, to put it blandly, I screwed up," Lucifer repeats.
"Did you ever tell them?"
"You just relived my memories, you tell me," Lucifer says in a roundabout way. Who knew Satan was so sarcastic?
"God never forgave you because you never asked to be forgiven," Same comments.
"Because there was nothing to forgive! If I had done nothing, sooner or later the human's curiosity would have lead them to consume the fruit."
"God is supposed to be all powerful and the only perfect being, right?" Sam asks cautiously.
"I wouldn't say that, he's all powerful, yes, but I proved he couldn't create a perfect being."
"Right, right, but don't you think maybe it hurt his feelings when you pointed out his creations weren't perfect? That he wanted you to ask forgiveness for hurting him?"
Lucifer stands contemplating. His immediate response is to deny having done anything wrong, because technically he didn't. But humans were supposed to wait a few moments before giving deep answers; he'd learned that from his few interactions with humans. He feigns contemplation by putting his hand under his jaw, an oddly human gesture for thought, and actually does pause to consider it so it looks like he is doing an appropriate amount of thinking. Once he does think about it though, he finds it easy to see Sam's point of view, he understands why Sam would draw that conclusion, in fact, that conclusion starts to make sense. He reaches his conclusion after a few moments.
"You never cease to amaze me, Samuel Winchester, I never thought of it from that angle," Lucifer says slowly. He considers what it means in the grand scheme of things, and finds that it would change nearly nothing.
"Regardless, my choices were made, and I have to fight my brother," Lucifer says forlornly.
"God isn't gone, Lucifer, ask for forgiveness, he might still give it."
"My father let me rot in the cage, it's worse than Hell, Sam," Lucifer says, strained, memories paining him.
"He needs to apologize too," Sam concedes.
"I don't think God would appreciate being told what to do by a human," Lucifer smiles, amused. His mood soon turns sour again, "No apology would ever suffice, though the thought is nice."
"Give it time, I'm not saying it'll ever be the same, but don't you miss heaven?" Lucifer just shook his head fondly.
"I've watched too much Doctor Phil, haven't I," Sam asks, suddenly embarrassed to be treating an Archangel and God, GOD, like little children.
"That is a human idiom for you believe you are overanalyzing this, yes?" Lucifer asks.
"Pretty much," Sam admits.
"Don't doubt yourself, Sam. You may not be able to change what will come, but you have made me consider another point of view, and I think you'll find not many people have been able to do that."
Dean chooses that moment to start blasting AC/DC. Sam jumps, heart pounding out of his chest from the rude awakening.
"Sorry, you were sleeping like the dead, I tried to wake you up ten minutes ago for dinner, but you were out cold. I didn't think you'd notice if I turned up the volume." Sam nods, still distracted with memories of his dream. Dean notices, "Bad dream?"
"No, not bad, but it was one hell of a dream."
AN: Written for AO3's 1 Million Fanworks, crossposted here. Exactly 2500 words because I'm a perfectionist. (That's not including this way too long author's note!)