Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Korra. Bryke does.
Optional songs to play while reading: Ships in the Night - Mat Kearney, To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra, Safe and Sound - Taylor Swift + Civil Wars
I hate her.
"Are you even listening to me now?" Korra grabbed a fistful of my shirt to let me know she meant business. Her face was close and I could make out every detail of the anger in her eyes despite the dim lighting of the arena. I didn't care if she was angry. I didn't really give a shit about anything anymore. "You're just going to sit around here, just to mope and fume?" she shoved me away and I tripped backward. The fall didn't even hurt. "Well, Mr. Darky-Gloomy. I really thought that you cared for your family, but now I guess you don't have the balls to step up to the plate," she crossed her arms and shot me a dirty glare.
"Family! Of all things, you speak about family!" I laughed. She didn't comment on the fact that my voice broke on family. She didn't feel how the sorrow expanded in my chest until it hurt to breathe. I made my way to my feet, "What would you, above all other people, know about my family?" My voice sounded choked, and I didn't even wait for her to respond, "You grew up with two loving parents! A promise of being nurtured, sheltered, fed, and anything you could ever need! Every. Single. Damn. Day." I swiped my hand through the air to emphasize my point; my other hand tightened into a fist at my side.
"Your point?" she slid her foot forward and shifted her weight to her back leg. Korra was getting on my last nerve. She didn't need to know anything about me, didn't deserve to know anything about me. When I didn't respond she continued, "You forgot to mention the whole freaking Avatar part. Convenient huh?" She tipped her head to the side to mock me. I didn't let myself get angry. I just watched as her hair swayed with the motion of her head, and it calmed me, if for just a moment. It flowed as if lingering in water, suspended and majestic.
"Yeah, try growing up with the whole freaking world on your shoulders." She threw her arms out, and then let them drop to her sides. "'Great job learning that new move Korra, you'll make a GREAT Avatar!', or 'Avatar Aang learned this move in a day! Pay more attention!'" Her arm rose at the end of each exclamation, as if trying to throw her blame in the air. She paused again, running her hand through her bangs. "Yeah, no pressure Korra, we just want you to bring peace to the world. No biggie." This last part she said almost to herself.
"Then why don't you get the hell out of my life, and go off on your oh so important mission!" I walked right up to her, and shoved her. I could feel heat rising to my cheeks and my heartbeat picking up. I saw her eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape, and she was leaning slightly away from me. She was too shocked to react more than that. "Do you know what it's like to lose your parents to a fire at age 8?" I pushed her again. "Do you know what it's like to be a parent? Because I sure as hell had to!"
Then I started laughing, because it was so funny. It was all so funny! My body shook from my chuckles, and I put my hand to my face, "You know what the funniest part is? They died in a fire that was caused by some reckless dumbass Firebenders who accidentally set our house on fire." My hand slipped down my face and my arm hit my hip. I looked down at Korra, and her eyes looked at me like a stranger. Her eyebrows scrunched to make the bridge of her nose look like a bunched up towel. "It seems like fate has a sense of irony because I'm a freaking Firebender!" I heard Korra's clothes ruffle as she shifted away from me. "Guess what? I couldn't do a damn thing as Bolin and I were pulled from the fire. Not a single thing. Yet I still Firebend!" I threw my hands up, "Hah! Now would you look at that Avatar Korra. My heart-wrenching life story for your lordship!" I shoved her back again, my fingertips tinged with fire, and she lost balance.
She took a couple of clumsy steps back, before tripping and falling onto the rope of the arena. "I raised Bolin after that. He was 7." I started to tremble as I struggled to contain my emotions. I turned my body away from her slightly and I clenched my hands and eyes. "You know what he called me the week after our parents died?" My voice sounded like a train going over a broken railroad. "The Lost Angel. That's what he called me." I didn't even need to explain; I knew she understood what it meant. My breaths were accompanied by a cough and I debated if I should just run.
Korra pushed her arms against the ropes, and they made an elastic noise as they struggled to support the new pressure. She got onto her feet and took a steady look at me. "Well it's about time that you're found, isn't it?" She raised her eyebrow at me when I turned my face to her. A crooked grin found its way to her face, "Would you let me help?" I just stared at her. Did she really mean it? She walked toward me, "I want to find where that angel has gone, and I think I know just where to find the map." There was an echoing silence, so I opened my eyes. She put her arm gently on my shoulder, "We're going to get your brother back Mako. I swear it upon my oh so important mission to bring peace to the world."
That's when I couldn't hold the tears any longer. My throat felt like my heart was trying to squeeze through it, and I didn't want Korra to see me like this. I made a smothered cry and ground my teeth together to keep it from happening again. My broken shudders of breath were like the sound of screeching tires. It planted a cold poison in your heart that spread through your body and made you immobile. I tried my best to hide my face from her, shielding myself from being so raw, so unprotected. But she surprised me with what she did next.
She gripped my shoulders, and then gently tipped me toward her. It was so controlled I didn't even notice that her shoulders caught my body when I drooped over. The bead she wore on her side-bangs brushed my face. "Mako, it's about time you found some peace in your heart, and if my job is to bring peace," she paused, because she could feel my tears trickling down her cheek. She tried to steady her breath and inhaled deeply through her nose, "If my job is to bring peace, then I want to make sure I can do a damn good job of helping you and your brother find yours."
I didn't feel like much of a fine castle anymore with my grand walls knocked down so easily. So I let myself cry. It felt so nice to cry, so liberating, but it was also something else. It was like disinfecting a wound, it burned, but it got all the germs out. That's what my chest felt like. I let this infection carry on for too long, and it was time to pour the anti-septic on the poison that was slithering through my heart and freezing my heart to such a cold temperature that it burned. The clashing temperatures fought against my lungs, and as a result my body was shaking like an earthquake. I needed to grab onto something, anything to keep me from falling off my feet. I slid my arms around Korra's waist, and my hands gripped the back of her shirt tightly. Now that I knew that I was grounded, I helped break down the rest of the castle. I could really get everything out of my system. Maybe it was time to find a better land to settle on. Maybe an angel would help me find a better place to build a new home.
"You know," Korra broke the sound of my echoing sobs. She spoke so softly, I could hear the air coming out of her mouth better than her words. She hugged me tighter, "It breaks my heart." I couldn't feel her trembling, but I knew she was. Her fingers dug into my back and she squeezed at the fabric of my shirt. "It hurts so much, Mako. It just tears at my heart." A hot drop of lava landed on my neck, and oozed down the slope of my muscles. A staccato of a few more droplets, and then a steady stream of lava followed it. Tears streamed out of her eyes like a leaky faucet, while she was desperately twisting at the knobs. I felt the soft pressure of her forehead on my shoulder, and it was comforting.
So we just stood like that, weeping. At one point in the recess of my mind, I wondered how long we stood like that. Then I reasoned that it didn't matter. Why should it? I had never cried like that ever in my life. My mind drifted back to my childhood, and losing Bolin became fresh pain and the pressure in my chest doubled over. I had to shunt the pain out, and I needed to do it fast. The only way I knew how to do this was to just cry harder, and soon I was howling. It was like the mourning of silver wolves on a moonless, starry-less night. The sobs faded into whimpers, which faded into sniffles. We stiffly released our grips on each other and let our hands swing back to our sides. Korra's eyes were red and puffy, but the brilliant blue of her eyes were so clear.
Go out on a day with no clouds, with the temperature just right. Find a nice patch of grass to lie down on, and just stare at the flawlessly blue sky. Feel the warmth of the sun like a thin blanket woven with the softest threads. The passing of the occasional wind cools you down so you never get too hot. Revel in the moment; secretly cherish it, because nothing will ever be so right. If you do that, you'll understand what I felt when I looked Korra in the eyes.
"I'll get us tissues." She decided, and I realized that we both had snot running down our noses. I couldn't help but chuckle at the mess we were. "Oh shut up, you're not looking so stellar yourself," she laughed. I raised my hands in defense, but I grinned nonetheless. She rolled her eyes and started walking away, but I stopped her, "Uh, Korra? The ladder is the other way." She turned to me, a totally started look on her face. "Oh, right." She adjusted her direction, and I sat down and watched her walk away. She moved with the precision of a leaf, and I couldn't help but wish I were the wind.
We've got a long way to go, but I know we'll make it.
I'm so happy about this! I spent around a total of 10-12 hours on this over the past two days and I'm really proud of how it came out! I was trying to make you guys cry or get something close to that, so drop me a review and let me know how I did! Thanks!