Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. As far as I know Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader, Seth Meyers, and Andy Samberg are not gay.
Bill watched as Andy cranked the music, dancing to Disturbia by Rihanna. He giggled, resting back against Andy's couch. Though he didn't get much rest because Andy ripped him up and off.
Andy swayed his hips in front of Bill, lifting his hands in the air. Bill noticed that his wet hair, he'd just gotten out of the shower, was curling up and off his head. He even looked slightly sexy with his glasses and pajama bottoms. No shirt. Though Bill wouldn't even think about making a move on his best friend.
Bill, in his sleepwear as well, which included no shirt and pajama bottoms, began to swing with Andy. He flicked his wet hair out of his eyes, giggling as he watched Andy shake his bottom suggestively as the song changed to Britney Spears – Till The World Ends.
Bill then turned around, grinding their backs and butts together. He heard himself, even Andy, singing the catchy song. Quickly, he swung his hip sharply into Andy's butt, leaving to go get a drink in the kitchen. He leaned against the wall, watching Andy go nuts as he jumped up and down, still shaking his hips.
Bill caught himself dancing as he drank his water. Quickly he set his water down, and hurried out for the next song by Rihanna called S&M. It wasn't long before that song changed to Fuck You by CeeLo Green. They got all but five seconds in the song before the door opened, although they didn't know it.
Jason and Seth watched as the boys danced, no, grinded to the song. Of course, and luckily for Jason, not fronts. Just backs. Bill had broken apart from Andy, picking up his phone and reading something. He didn't bother texting back to whoever it was and watched Andy roll his hips.
Jason rolled his eyes but walked over to the dock that had the iPod on it and turned it off. He noticed Andy freeze immediately while Bill slowly turned around.
"Hey," Jason said, sarcastically winking at Andy when he turned to face him. The boy was red faced.
Bill watched Seth out of his peripheral vision, waiting for him to do something cocky.
"I didn't know a man could dance like that."
And there it was. What Bill had been waiting for. The asshole-y, cocky comment.
"You learn something new everyday." Bill replied sassily, crossing his arms.
"Mmm, I like cocky Bill. Turns me on." He blew a kiss towards Bill.
Bill pretended to catch it. His hand flew up to his mouth mimicking a blow job.
Seth grinned, enjoying the sight way to much. He had to brake the intense staring contest though, not wanting to look like a weirdo. "One of these days you're going to be begging me to fuck you." With that he sat down on the couch, settling in.
"In your dreams, Meyers." Bill scoffed, stretching.
Andy chuckled at the pair, jumping over to his boyfriend. Needing the contact, Andy wrapped his hands around Jason's neck, pulling their faces together. They kissed profoundly and passionately, not holding back. He felt Jason's fingers dig into his hips, knowing he never wanted to let go. Just watching the two you could tell they hadn't had sex yet with all the heat they put into the kiss.
"When are you guys going to fuck?" Bill asked, chomping down on a chocolate bar, plopping down next to Seth on the couch.
Andy detached himself from Jason with a pop, smiling ecstatically at his best friend, "When you and Seth do."
Jason chuckled from besides him, nuzzling into Andy's neck for another kiss.
"I like the sound of that. Give me that, I need some sugar." Seth held out his hand for the candy bar.
Bill rolled his eyes, taking on more bite, causing the caramel to string out, still attached to the bar. Seth licked the end of it, so it was now attached to his tongue. Bill awkwardly flushed and pulled away, breaking the string.
Disappointedly Seth sat back down, lapping up the caramel. He took a large bit out of the candy before handing it back to Bill.
"Damn, fucking sex in a kiss." Bill called, grinning wickedly.
"Oh shut it Hader-" Andy gasped when Jason scooped him up, carrying him over to the one recliner in the room. Andy situated himself on his boyfriend's lap, keeping his arms securely around Jason's neck incase he chose to do anything else odd.
"I'm so jealous of you guys. You're so fucking cute!" Bill exclaimed, putting his feet up on the couch.
"Shut up," Andy blushed, "I'm bored as hell, what the fuck can we do?"
"Truth or dare!" Jason and Seth said at the same time.
Andy and Bill shared a look of dislike, "Strip poker?" They said in unison and then giggled.
"Hell no. I suck at poker." Seth grimaced.
"Me too." Jason added.
"That's sort of the point." Bill giggled.
"Well, we actually have to get going. We have to feed the dog." Jason patted at Andy's leg, waiting for him to get up. Andy frowned, pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's lips but got up.
"And I have to get back to my girlfriend." Seth muttered, pulling out his phone, obviously calling her up.
Jason and Seth left quickly, waving goodbyes.
"Music!" Andy called turning the dock back on. Dip It Low by Christina Milian came on.
Andy began to smoothly roll his hips while putting his hands back up in the air, twisting them together. Bill grinned as he sang along, making sassy faces and began dancing. They both crouched to the floor when it said dip it low. Then worked their way back up, "popping" their butts sharply.
/
"So you think he's good in bed?" Bill asked from the other side of the couch.
"You obviously know we haven't done anything like that yet… but yeah, I think he's going to be fucking amazing." Andy replied, smiling.
"You're in fucking love! I knew it!" Bill screamed, getting up on his knees.
"Am not!" Andy shot back.
Bill giggled, "You are Andy! Plus you've totally got him whipped! What guy would stay in a relationship that has no sex? He's obviously in love with you too!"
Andy blushed, "Bill!"
"He is! Oh my god! You need to make him say it first. Has he said it? Have you said it?"
"No one's said it yet…" Andy blushed and rolled his eyes.
"You need to make him say it first, 'because you're totally a bottom. The top should say it first!"
"Hey!" Andy said, not liking that Bill said he was a bottom.
"Oh c'mon! Don't tell me you don't get off at the idea of his you-know-what inside of you. You totally wanna be dominated!" Bill giggled, pointing at him.
Andy frowned, blushing a deep red, "I hate you," he joked.
"You know you love me and I love you. But you're right, this just got really damn awkward." Bill added, staring at his friend resting on the arm of the couch.
"You should do something kinky, something that'd turn him on a lot." Bill said out after a pause.
Andy was about to protest when he thought about it, "What do you have in mind?"
Bill smiled widely, "I dunno. Do you know of any kinks he might have?"
Andy awkwardly smiled, "I think he likes spanking…"
"No way. That's kind of hot. What makes you think that?" Bill questioned.
"He just always spanks me." Andy shrugged, "I think he likes it when I where costumes. Like last Halloween when I wore that cop costume."
"Uh-oh. That could because of the costume or the idea of locking you up to his bedpost." Bill joked, winking dramatically. It caused Andy to flush again.
"What time is it?" Andy said sleepily.
Bill glanced in the kitchen, spotting 3:02 AM, "Three."
"Fuck." Andy groaned, "I'm supposed to meet Jason tomorrow, super early. Like seven I think. If I go to sleep now I'll never wake up."
Bill sat back down, "Sorry, consequences of a boyfriend."
"Will you go with me? Puh-lease?" Andy stuck his lip out in a large pout.
"Depends. Give me some details." Bill turned the television on, muting it.
"We're meeting tomorrow at Denny's, Jason's gonna be there and so is Seth… and his girlfriend." Andy bit his lip, hoping his friend would still go.
"Yeah? Are you sure I'm not imposing? I'll be the fifth wheel." Bill frowned, not liking the idea.
"Fifth wheel has always been my favorite wheel, always will be." Andy answered honestly.
"Aw, and just for that lame answer I'm gonna go." Bill smiled at his friend.
"Thank you!" Andy hugged him tightly.
"You owe me. Big time… I know!"
Andy frowned knowing that Bill had a crazy idea in mind, "You're going to that club with me." Bill giggled.
"Only if Adley can go. You know he'll enjoy the place." Andy stretched against the cushions.
"Yeah, no problem. Adley will dance up a storm. Probably hump some poor innocent people." Bill chuckled but continued to look through the channels.
"It makes me wonder why Jason hasn't tried, you know?"
Bill's eyes widened sarcastically as he whisper-yelled, "Maybe he's straight!" He gasped, his hands flying to his face to mock horror.
Andy burst out laughing, "And that's why I love you. I doubt he's straight though. The things that man can do with his tongue. Ugh." His head fell back against the arm rest, bringing his knees up to his chest.
Bill rolled his eyes, "Please stop while your head. That's gross," he said that last part as if he were surprised.
"Mhm. How about Seth flirting with you tonight? You'd think he was a completely different person." Andy wiggled his eyebrows.
Bill scoffed, shaking his head, "And by completely different person you mean gay?"
Andy playfully replied, "Duh."
"Well I can say I literally hate him. I'd give you some reasons why but there's too many. Oh! The Proposal is on!"
Andy whined in protest, "We've seen that million's of times."
"There is absolutely nothing on. I am getting sick of it though. Oh well." Bill stated.
They got all but thirty minutes into the move before both fell asleep on the couch.
/
Andy woke abruptly to the sound of a shrill ring belonging to his cell phone. He flung off the couch, running to his phone. Six forty-five! He ran over to Bill shaking him sharply.
Bill jumped awake, clearly startled. Then saw Andy's retreating figure, running to his own room.
Andy read the texts from Jason Wear nice clothes! He paused to yell that to Bill.
"You're killing me here Andy!"
"Sorry!" He called back, reading the rest. Where the hell are you?, Are you okay?, Hurry up!, You better not be sleeping!.
Bill and Andy exited their rooms at the same time, sharing worried looks with each other. Bill had on a pair of jeans with a navy blue shirt underneath a black cardigan. Andy wore a black button down shirt, sleeves rolled up, and jeans.
"Do I look okay?" He asked as they put their shoes on.
"Very handsome. Get your glasses and let's go." Bill instructed opening the door.
Andy's hands flew to his face, "How the hell did I forget my glasses?" He muttered angrily to himself. He ran to his room, choosing to wear his red-rimmed ones and then they were out the door, running to meet Jason at Denny's for breakfast.
/
Andy and Bill got there at exactly six fifty-nine. How? He'll never know. He spotted his boyfriend on the sidewalk, about to call out to him when Jason spotted him. Jason was with two others, Andy recognized them as Jason's parents, who still didn't know he was gay or had a boyfriend.
His mouth dropped open in disbelief when Jason held his hand up to his throat, mimicking cutting it, telling Andy to stay back. Of course his parents didn't see because they had turned and entered the restaurant. Jason began to mouth I'm sor-, but Andy turned around before he could finish. Angrily, he towed Bill by the hand, seeing him flip Jason off violently in his peripheral vision.
Andy couldn't resist looking back, seeing his now ex-boyfriend walking inside Denny's, his hands in his pockets. He wished he could see his face but sadly all he could see was his back, slightly slumped. Andy would like to think he was sad, but that couldn't be it.
/
Andy glared at the picture of him and Jason together. He spontaneously rose from the couch and threw it against the couch; it didn't break but made a dull thump noise. He turned to Bill, who was still coming down from the shock of everything. He jumped, thinking that the frame was going to hit him.
Andy sighed happily, "That felt good…"
Bill grinned, happy to see his friend happy, "Good."
"Ah… let's go drink?" Andy asked.
Bill glanced at the clock, "It's only twelve thirty."
"Shit. Let's do something then. I don't care what. I just want to get out of here!" Andy ripped a picture of Jason in thirds.
Bill came up to him, taking the picture out of his hands before he could rip it up anymore. "Stop ripping that up."
"Why? He's a… a meanie. And all these pictures should go."
"No! You and I are going out to eat tonight since we're so dressed up. We're going on a friend date." Bill smiled.
Andy shrugged, "I don't really want to go."
"I don't care. You're going."
/
"Jason, who was that man?" His mother asked him.
Jason glanced over his shoulder, out the window of the Denny's. He shrugged, "Which one?"
"Both of them." His mother said sternly, "That one looked extremely angry with you and that other just looked crushed. Poor thing. What did you do to them?"
Jason stumbled slightly over his words, "Just some friends that I had to decline some plans with."
"Mrs. Sudeikis! What a surprise." Seth said, hugging his friend's mother and then shook Mr. Sudeikis' hand.
"Seth, you sure have grown up!" His mother said, taking in the man's appearance.
"Thank you ma'am. You still look as young as when I was ten." He complimented her.
She blushed waving her hand, "Oh, you are such a liar."
Seth rolled his eyes playfully, pulling out a chair for the girl with him, "Well I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Melissa." Melissa shook hands with the two before sitting down.
Seth sat in between Melissa and Jason, Mrs. and Mr. Sudeikis across from them. "So where's Andy? Shouldn't he be here by now?"
Jason sent him a death glare, only when his parents weren't looking.
"Oh, is that the boys that were angry? They'll understand." Mr. Sudeikis muttered, looking intently at his menu.
Seth got a slightly worried look on his face for his friend, "Angry?"
Jason nodded, "Yeah, let's not talk about it now."
/
By the time they were out of Denny's it was about twelve-thirty. By the time they got out of that bookstore it was about two-forty-five. Now they headed over to a small coffee, it was about three in the afternoon. Everyone had a lot of catching up to do. Mr. Sudeikis was politely paying for everyone. Jason had excused himself to the bathroom knowing that Seth was following him. He sure wasn't in the mood to explain the situation. He walked up to the urinal, doing his business. Seth entered, resting against the sink.
"What happened?" He sighed.
"I chickened out…" Jason said, sounding bored. "This time he got fed up with it. He left with Bill. And Bill made sure that I knew I was an ass."
Seth rolled his eyes, situating the collar of his black v-neck sweater, "What'd the bitch do?"
A man entered the bathroom, ignoring the two and hurrying to a stall. Seth frowned at the retreating figure.
"He flipped me off. My parents saw him and questioned me about it. He's not really a bitch, either. I deserved it." Jason toweled his wet hands, walking out of the bathroom.
"So aren't you worried what Andy's going to do?" Seth whispered to him.
"No, he'll understand."
/
Andy glanced at the clock after staring he had been staring at the television to long. "It's two-forty. Friend date has been over for an hour now. Can we go to Adley's bar now?"
Bill shrugged, "Sure, I don't care."
It was a long walk but they didn't mind. When they got there it was four-seventeen. No one was there yet since Andy's cousin, Adley, didn't open the bar yet. Andy walked in though, knowing he'd be in there.
Andy's eyes widened when he saw his cousin sitting on the bar with a man in between his legs.
Adley noticed them, nodding his head, "Hey guys."
Andy chuckled awkwardly, "Hey."
"Uh, this is Charlie, my boyfriend." Adley ran a hand through his short black Mohawk, "Charlie this is my cousin and our best friend Bill."
Charlie awkwardly removed himself from Adley and shook hands with the two. He had long brown hair and a beautiful face and body. If Adley didn't have him Bill for sure would've hit on him.
Adley jumped off the bar, then moved behind it and busied himself with cleaning glasses, "You two are here early."
"We're bored." Andy shrugged, "And I just broke up with my boyfriend so… alcohol!"
Adley frowned, "Sorry. What'd he do?"
Andy then jumped into a short explanation of this morning.
"Ouch. Sounds douche-y to me." Charlie added from a stool.
Bill nodded, head in his hand, "He sort of is."
"Shit," Charlie glanced at his watch then at Adley, "Babe, I gotta go." He kissed Adley on the cheek, "Nice to meet you guys. See ya."
"See you." Everyone replied, watching as he left.
"So what do you want to do now?" Bill questioned, removing his head from his hand.
Adley clapped his hands, "Wanna go for a walk?"
"Fuck yeah!" Andy exclaimed, tugging Bill and Adley with him. He wasn't sure why he was so excited for a walk, but he didn't care. Andy was sure he need it.
They walked down the street for nearly fifteen minutes till Adley pointed across at the bookstore, saying he was dying to go in. They walked quickly across the street, squeezing in between two parked cars.
Right when they were passing a coffee shop, with a couple outside, did Adley see a group that wasn't too fond of him.
"Guys, let's turn around." He whispered, trying to hide himself.
"Yo, Samberg!" One of the boys yelled to Adley.
Andy saw two heads next to them shoot up but he ignored it knowing they were only there for the show.
The most threatening one stood in front of Adley, flanked by two idiots. "Hey faggot, where are you going?"
"Watch your mouth asshole." Bill retorted.
"This your boyfriend?" The leader cupped Bill's chin but Bill jerked out of his grasp. His followers laughing in the back.
"Jealous?" Andy growled, narrowing his eyes.
He grimaced, spitting near their feet, "You're fucking disgusting."
"I think it's best if you boys leave each other alone." A female said next to them.
Andy's hands balled at his sides, "He wants trouble, then he has it."
The leader rolled his eyes, pushing Andy back, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, queer."
"That'll be enough of that." The lady said again, standing up.
He turned, glaring at the group, "Shut your bitch up." He told the man who Andy assumed was her husband.
"Don't you talk about her that way." Her husband yelled.
A younger girl with them pulled out her cell phone, "That's it I'm calling the police."
Next thing Andy knew the attacker had it in his hand and threw it against the ground, breaking it three pieces.
"We're out." He motioned for the two to follow him. The walked right in between the three, pushing them to the side.
Andy landed against the car behind him. A surge of anger coursed through his body as he called out, "If you were trying to get me on my back there's easier ways!"
"The police are on their way." The father figure snapped his phone shut and then pointed were the men had left, "He's dangerous and no doubt was he intoxicated."
"Well, you ready to go?" Bill questioned, sticking his hands in his pockets.
"Oh, you can't go now. You'll have to give them your statements or whatever it is."
At that second Adley's phone rang, indicating a text. He read it aloud, "I see you! Catch the kids. From my mom…" He said, staring down the street confusedly.
There they were, all of Andy's little cousins. All six of them, running at full speed to them. Followed by a call of "Get them!"
Adley caught Aaron and Elijah while Andy and Bill instinctively reached for the others. Andy had gotten the rascals of the group Jessie and Gabriel and Bill had gotten Isaac and Zane, the calmest of the six. Poor Adley's mom, not getting one girl while Andy's mom had all girls with the exception of Andy.
"Jason, Seth, you wouldn't believe what just happened! I can't believe you were in the bathroom the whole time!" The elder exclaimed to them.
Andy stiffened, picking up the kids just the other's had.
"Actually, Dad, we were talking to some friends inside. What happened?" Andy heard Jason say.
Jason's father went into detail, and sadly, he pointed over to the three.
"Andy! Bill!" Andy's aunt, Juliet, pulled them into a strong hug. The kids even joined in.
Bill chuckled, "I think we just broke the world record of biggest hug."
"Oh, I love you all! Let's go to the bar, yeah? Chat!" She clapped her hands.
Adley nodded, "Lets."
"Wait, are you boys leaving?" Jason's mom called.
Andy awkwardly nodded since no one else responded, "If the police actually needs us then tell Jason to have them call us. If that's alright."
/
"The police?" Uncle Brad asked when they entered the bar.
The kids were let loose to run around the bar since all the tables had been placed in another room. They took full advantage of the space as well, jumping and dancing to no music. Although it didn't take long for Jessie to ask.
"Adley! Will you please turn on the music?" He asked, pressing his little hands together.
Adley giggled, "Only if you promise to always stay cute."
The little boy pressed a hand to his heart, "I promise to always stay cute."
Andy and Bill giggled at the cuteness with everyone else as Adley turned on the music. The children began dancing their own little way as the elder ones chatted.
/
His mother leaned out the window, kissing him on the check. "We'll be back next month." She then leaned into his ear, "Go apologize to your boyfriend."
Jason's eyes widened and he resisted the urge to tell her he didn't have a boyfriend. But mothers always know best, so he only nodded with a weak smile.
"G'night boy. See you, love you." His dad said with a smile and they were off like that with one long wave.
/
Andy sat on the couch, staring at the TV. Nothing was on, even though he continued to look through the channels. Bill had gone in his room, claiming he'd be back soon.
A knock came from the door, startling and then confusing Andy. It was nine at night after all and Adley and his parents stated that they were going to bed early. It couldn't be Jason because he was pretty sure he made it clear that he didn't want to see him…
"Who is it?" He called out lamely, standing awkwardly in front of the door.
"Just open the door." Jason yelled back.
Andy put his head against the door, battling with himself. Obviously Jason didn't deserve to even talk to Andy. But let him in… or not? Finally he put on a stern face, opening the door. He crossed his arms, his eyes going from Jason's shoes to his face. It'd be hard for him to admit that he didn't look goddamn sexy with his navy blue tie and his un-tucked shirt… with his tousled hair…. Dammit Andy, he scolded himself, stop torturing yourself!
"Yes?" Andy responded weakly.
Jason put a sideways smile, the way straight to Andy's heart. Andy's pretty damn sure that Jason knows how to get on his good side. "Andy, I'm honestly so sorry-"
"You should be." Andy cut in.
Jason nodded, "Yes, I know." He pulled a rose out from behind his back.
Andy rolled his eyes at the cheesiness of the moment but snatched the rose up anyway. "Apology accepted, ass."
Jason's grin grew as he leaned in for a kiss. He wrapped his arms around Andy's waist, trying his luck. Although Andy allowed it, wrapping his arms around Jason's neck. Right before Jason was about to slip his tongue in, Andy pulled away.
"You've got to tell them sooner or later." Andy didn't sound angry or demanding, just concerned.
Jason nodded, kissing Andy's neck, "I swear. They're coming back next month and I've been planning something out. But that's not be worried about right now."
Andy groaned, "I'll say so," pulling Jason in.
Jason walked them over to the couch when Andy suddenly spun them around, pushing Jason forcefully down. Jason stared up at him lustfully, watching his every move as he straddled his waist.
"Andy-oh hey Jason." Bill nodded.
Jason awkwardly tried his best to look over his shoulder, "Hey."
Bill wrapped himself in his jacket waving goodbye, "I'll let you guys settle out your problems. Wink wink."
Andy smiled apologetically at his friend before he left but didn't hesitate to push Jason all the way down on the couch.
/
Bill was smart enough to grab his iPod before he left. Knowing it'd probably we awhile he walked to find an open bench. So far, nothing. Instead he popped his earbuds in, putting his music on shuffle. Much to his dislike Tik Tok by Kesha came on. He quickly shook it, shuffling the music once more. This time a more appropriate song came on, How To Love by Lil Wayne.
Bill may or may not have been bopping his head to the beat but the wonderfulness of that moment slipped between his fingers when a man pulled him to the side. He had a cigarette in between his lips, yanking off his black vest. Bill looked at him angrily, ripping the buds out of his ears.
"What the hell Ryan? You scared the shit out of me!" Bill growled at his half brother.
Ryan yanked off his white shirt and then his pants slid down and off his feet. Bill stared at him, puzzled at what he could possibly be doing. Clothes were thrown in Bill's eyesight and he struggled to see.
"Wife's having birth! Emergency," He said through the cigarette slipping into the clothes next to him.
Bill shrugged, "What am I supposed to do with this?"
"Fill in for me! I'll lose my job if you don't, and I can't afford that right now." He buttoned his pants and then ran down the street.
Bill sighed heavily. "You owe me! Again!" Slipping into the clothes Bill hurried inside the restaurant making sure the manager knew of the situation. Surprisingly the middle-aged woman was cool with it, quickly explaining what Bill had to do.
Luckily, for Bill, all he had to do was cross their names off the list of reservations and show them to their seats.
Five couples had already entered in the past fifteen minutes. Bill had been extremely polite to them, catching the attention of another staff member there. He and Kat quickly became friends, chatting as much as they could between helping customers.
At the moment Kat was waiting a table so Bill's head rested in his hand. He mouthed the words to the song he was listening to before his brother dragged him into this mess. He stopped when he heard the door open.
"Welcome." He said turning around and bending over to retrieve two menus. "Last name?" Once again he asked; tiredness evident in his voice.
"Meyers." The man replied from the woman's neck, it seemed impossible for him to remove himself from her.
Bill rolled his eyes as he looked down the list, "Meyers… Meyers… Seth?" Bill asked, surprise and confusion in his voice.
"That's me." Seth said, sounding agitated. He actually looked Bill in the eyes, looking annoyed. "Oh."
"Hello… again. Now if you'll follow me to your seats." Bill politely led them to the booth, placing menus on each side. But when the girl sat next to Seth he felt slightly embarrassed. "Oops." He proceeded to tell them recommendations and that their waitress would also be Kat.
"Shit," he muttered to himself, walking back to his desk. The last couple had left, telling him the food was fantastic and that they'd be back. They were an older couple and clearly still in love. It was frankly adorable and turned Bill into a green ball of envy.
"Bill! Change your vest with my tie!" Kat whisper yelled as she rounded the corner, throwing her tie at Bill.
Bill did it quickly. "Why?"
She buttoned it up, "I have a slight crush on her," nodding her head in Seth's direction she continued, "That girl is my dream girl!"
"Uh, she's kind of dating him." Bill chuckled, knotting his tie.
Rolling her eyes she continued, "Ever heard of a beard? That guy is so far in the closet he doesn't even know he's in the closet. But a gay always knows a gay, right? I mean, obviously you're gay."
"Damn girl, you're good. I had no idea about you. Maybe it's a lesbian thing." Bill chuckled. He tugged at his tie again, watching Kat situate herself for the hundredth time, "I feel like I'm in that Britney Spears Glee episode."
Kat snorted, "True! But I have to go," parting with a kiss on the cheek she went to the kitchen, coming out with drinks.
He rolled his eyes, playing with the skinny tie. "Why'd she switch with me in the first place…?"
"When these two leave you wanna go clubbing?" Kat was already back and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at Bill. "First of all, are you even any good?"
Bill scoffed. "I have no idea."
Kat clapped her hands while yelling, "Test!" She quickly advanced on him.
Bill tried his best to get away from Kat, even running to the other side of the desk.
"No way, I'm more in the sulking-to-metal-and-nonstop-cussing mood for music right now."
"Well I'm off in… two! Thank god." She left after that, tending to the table once more.
"Boo!" She was suddenly behind him, breathing in his ear.
Bill's eyes widened in surprise but he didn't jump, luckily. For him jumping at the slightest word wasn't the best impression on somebody. He barely knew Kat after all.
"Oh, hey." Bill tried his best to sound casual.
"Hey." She pointed over her shoulder where the only couple was, Seth and his mysterious woman. But oddly they were missing. "I guess they're gone." She turned swiftly behind her, turning on a radio that Bill hadn't noticed till then.
"Just your kind of music, right?" She asked as she turned it up after tuning it to the station she wanted. Rollin' by Limp Bizkit filled his ears.
Rolling his eyes, he answered, "Sure."
Kat began turning it up louder and louder, causing Bill to worry. He looked around the restaurant just waiting for someone to come out. Before he would find out he yelled at her to turn it down.
She waved her hand dismissing his demand, "I know the guy who runs this restaurant. It's cool, trust me." Hair was going front and backwards as she softly head banged to the song.
The song ended and Kat turned it before another song came on. This time she turned through the channels. However the guy she knew came rushing out of the kitchen, slamming down the off button.
"People are still here!" He whispered not harshly but more of a friendly warning.
Kat whispered an apology back, biting her lip. Bill's gaze of I-told-you-so made her shrug and put her hands up, making her look like a little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
"No, it's okay Joe. We're leaving." Seth came around the corner with the girl wrapped around his arm.
"Please excuse them. That was an accident-"
The girl interrupted him in a Paris-Hilton-like voice, "The food was amazing and the music has nothing to do with why were leaving." At that she wiggled her eyebrows, suggesting what everyone already knew.
Joe chuckled, "Okay, you kids. See you soon."
"Bye Joe." She called over her shoulder, winking at him before they went out of door.
Kat plopped her arms down on the desk, narrowing her eyes, "I loath that lucky son of a bitch. She's hot."
Bill snorted before breaking out in fits of laughter, "How about we go get a drink."
"How about I go get wasted instead?" She said sounding somewhat miserable.
Bill waved goodbye to Joe as he lead his new friend out of the restaurant, "I'm with you."
/
They had split their money and had gotten six beers and ten shots. Five shots and three beers for each. Bill had snuck three more shots though, of course paying with his own money.
It wasn't long before Kat and Bill stumbled down the streets and into his apartment complex. Of course after fifteen minutes of Bill trying to get the key in the hole.
"Fuck," Kat glowered at the sign on the elevator doors.
Bill laughed at the irony. Them trying to climb that many stair cases? Good luck to them….
They took their time, climbing up each staircase like toddlers. About an hour later they finally made it to Bill's door. Too intoxicated to get on their feet the two stayed on their hands and knees. Bill reluctantly got on his knees, taking a lot less time to open the door with his key.
He pulled himself up, opening the door wider for Kat to crawl in. Immediately she went to the couch, which had no signs of Andy and Jason's unholy activities. That's a good thing, Bill thought.
He couldn't thing about anything but turning on Florence & The Machine's song called Dog Days. He was so close… when he heard an audible moan from the next room. Quickly he covered his ears and ushered Kat out of the room.
"Where the hell are we supposed to sleep now?" Kat grumbled, sitting on the top stair and sliding down on her bum. Bill right behind her.
They did that clear to the bottom till they were able walk out.
"I dunno. I think I'm getting sober… want to get more drunk?" Bill suggested, helping her up from the last step.
"I've got no money…, and I'm sorry but I snuck some shots when you weren't looking."
"It's cool. I did too. But I have not money either." Bill pouted as they stumbled out of the apartment complex.
/
Bill woke up the next morning outside of his apartment door. Weird, he thought, I swear we left last night… He kicked Kat awake next to him, standing up.
"Damn my head hurts." Kat muttered, face in the ground.
Bill nodded along, opening up the door and walking in. "What the fuck happened last night?" He groaned instantly retreating to the fridge for water.
"I dunno." Her words were still mushed together from sleep. "I blacked out after we went down the steps."
"Me too. I hope someone didn't drug us…" Bill joked.
"Ah! There you are!" Andy called as Bill walked further into their room.
"Obviously you didn't bother looking out the door," Bill giggled while rubbing his head, "I slept out there for some reason."
Kat glanced at her watch gasping, "Bye Bill, I have to go to work. We'll do this again!" She yelled before leaving.
Jason came around the corner, wrapping his hands around Andy's waist. He pressed a kiss to the now evident love bite on Andy's neck. He licked it, not so subtly, then left to the back room. Bill clapped excitedly and gave Andy a thumbs up.
"Is he big?" He whispered as Andy rushed over to him.
Andy rolled his eyes, "Yes, but it's not what you think. I didn't have sex with him. Just gave him a blowjob."
Bill giggled like a little school girl, blushing slightly. "Andy! You're a whore now!"
Andy pushed him on the couch, causing Bill to fall over the back of it. His legs awkwardly stuck out while the rest of him was out of sight.
"Go get clean or something, dirtball." Andy said, situating with waistband of his pajamas.
Bill kicked his feet above his head, rolling off the couch and landing on his knees. "Victoria had her kid. Ryan made me fill in for him." Distracted, he rolled a hat in between his fingers, placing it on top of his head.
Andy gasped, "No way!"
"Yes way. I figured that out when he pulled me into an alleyway while you were giving your boyfriend a-" Bill formed his hand into an o and moved it near his mouth while he pushed his tongue into his cheek, symbolizing a blowjob.
Andy threw a pillow, hitting Bill straight in the face. Bill threw it back, turning on some background music. Andy sighed dramatically yelling at him once more to get a shower.
"Fine! Now shut your yapper." Bill rolled his eyes, disappearing down the hallway.
"Yapper?" Andy called back sounding highly amused.
"You heard me!" Bill yelled, a finger raised in the air. He glared at Andy as he pushed the door open with his butt. He hummed along with some tune as he bent over, retrieving a towel and wash cloth. Bill placed it on the sink as he began to remove his pants. Then he yanked his sucks off. Few seconds later his shirt fluttered to the ground along with the tie. His thumbs hooked into the elastic waistband of his under when someone spoke up.
"Good morning to you too." Someone said sarcastically behind him.
Bill jumped, spinning around. He was so startled he had to hold onto the sink behind him. "Seth! I'm so sorry, I'll just-" Before Seth could even respond Bill was out of the room.
"Andy!" Bill whispered harshly, rushing over to the boy on the couch, "Why didn't you tell me Seth was in the bathroom?"
Andy gasped with an enormous smile on his face, "Shit, I forgot. Did you see him naked?"
Bill pursed his lips, "No! He nearly saw me naked, half of my ass!"
Andy's mouth dropped open in an o with a hint of a smile. "Hell yeah!"
"Not hell yeah!" Bill exclaimed, blushing furiously.
"You have a cute ass Hader." Seth said from behind him, causing him to jump up from his seat on the couch.
When he had turned around Seth's hair was still soaked but he had a pair of black slacks on, slipping his hands through his white shirt.
Bill sat back down, now in the recliner so he could make sure Seth wouldn't scare him.
"What?" Jason said, laughing awkwardly at what he just walked into.
Seth, after putting on his tie, swung his jacket onto his shoulders. "Long story, you ready to go?"
"Yup," he walked over to Andy placing a strong, chaste kiss on his lips, "I love you."
Andy's mouth fell open at the words, staring at the man over his glasses, "I love you too." He said, sounding extremely stunned.
Jason smiled widely, pressing another kiss to his mouth, "See you."
"Bye." Andy said breathlessly as Jason walked out the door. Andy turned towards Bill once the door was shut and grinned like crazy and screamed.
Bill ran over and hugged him tightly as they jumped back up and down.
The door opened to a grinning Jason and Seth. Jason walked over, scooping up his black wallet, "I forgot it." He stated plainly, still grinning like mad.
Andy bit his lip as he watched the man leave, the look of love covered his face.
"Wow, I need to start saying that to people if it makes them like that." Seth pointed at the dreamy Andy. "Hey, Bill, I love you."
Bill scoffed as he flipped Seth off casually. Ignoring the gesture Seth pulled on Bill's shirt, nearly knocking him off his feet. In the desperate moment to catch himself on something, anything, so he wouldn't fall, Seth and Bill's lips crashed together. Seth took his chance, placing a hand behind Bill's head so he couldn't escape. Licking hungrily into Bill's mouth he pulled apart after their tongue's slid together, being the tease he was.
"What the hell?" Bill squeaked, his hand flying to his mouth.
Seth grinned, "You kissed me."
"No, I didn't." Bill said, anger rising.
"Whatever you say. Jason, you ready to go?"
Jason stood next to Andy, his hands wrapped around his lover protectively. He was grinning at the show he just got along with his boyfriend, he pressed a kiss to Andy's ear, whispering something before telling Seth yes.
This time they actually left, Bill staring after them angrily.
"You totally kissed him." Andy said, giggling in his tone.
"No! He kissed me-"
"He sure did. But you still kissed him." Andy replied, looking absolutely entertained.
Bill huffed, walking back to his shower.
/
Jason shook his head, a smirk still on his face. "I thought you weren't gay."
"I'm not putting a label on it." Seth replied, walking with a new pep in his step.
Jason rolled his eyes, his voice raising in an amused tone, "Uh, you kind of have to. You just made out with my boyfriends best friend."
Seth shrugged, briefcase swaying. "He wants me."
Jason scoffed at Seth's cockiness. "You want him-"
"Maybe, but he still wants me."
Jason couldn't believe it. His friend may be cocky but he was telling the truth. It wasn't extremely obvious but it wasn't not there. Bill had a crush on the arrogant man and Seth was toying with him. "It's not good to play with someone's heart Seth." Jason told him, sounding strict.
"First of all you shouldn't be sounding like a dad already. Andy's not pregnant yet so no practicing till then." Jason was about to object, he wasn't exactly sure to what yet but Seth stopped him, "And I'm not toying with his heart."
Jason's grinned widened, "You've fallen for him."
Seth's smile was gone and he turned serious, "Of course not. He's just hot."
"Since when are men hot to you?"
"Men aren't hot to me… with the exception of Bill."
Confusion was evident on Jason's face, "Wait? So you're Bill-sexual?"
"Not really. I still find girls hot as hell," he paused to wink at a passing blonde, "like that one. But there's just something about Bill…"
They jogged up the steps to their offices as Jason said, "That's called love Seth. Like it or not…"
"I don't love him. I just want to fuck him." Seth explained as they faced each other at the top.
"You're basically explaining how me and Andy's relationship started." Jason added.
"Are you going to marry him or what?" Seth said, purposefully changing the subject.
Jason's crooked grin reappeared as he patted his friend on the shoulder, "That's for me to know and you to find out. And it's love." Already through the doors before Seth could refuse that idea Jason to waved his stunned friend.
/
Bill was toweling his wet hair, looking at himself in the mirror as he did so. He was already dressed in a blue tee and jeans, ready to put on a jacket and converse to go about the city. Andy apparently was as well.
"Hurry up! Slowpoke." Andy yelled from the kitchen.
Bill growled to himself, running out of the bathroom to find Andy already holding his shoes and jacket. Bill glared slightly but slipped both on quickly.
They walked down the tattered sidewalks of New York City. Hands deep in their pockets, desperately trying to stay warm. Bill's pointed at Adley's bar, running slightly for the heat. Sighing once it hit him Bill took off his jacket and placed it on the coat rack next to him. Andy's landed on top of his.
The bar was empty at the moment but they knew everyone was up stairs so they hurried up the steps to see the Samberg's.
"Andy!" Jessie cried when he spotted his cousin, running to his legs and hugging him.
It soon became a big group hug, hugging those who haven't seen one another in a long time. They chatted for hours about how their lives were going and how their boyfriends were doing. Adley had already broken up with what's his name and wasn't taking it so well. His mother and father had also learned about the gay bashing and weren't happy about it one little bit.
"Those men are too old to be pulling shit like this! The age doesn't matter anyway, no one should be teased about their sexuality!" Aunt Juliet yelled from the kitchen where her and Uncle Brad were making dinner.
"Auntie Juliet, are you sure there's nothing I can do?" Andy asked.
"No, you've boys have done enough. You kids should stop asking and enjoy yourselves!" She ordered more than told.
Adley shrugged and dove back into a conversation about some new TV show. The boys talked for another hour or so when Aunt Juliet announced dinner was finished.
Before they knew it the boys were back in their apartment, resting on a full stomach. "That was delicious." Bill mumbled through the pillow.
"Absolutely. That was really nice too though, the whole talking and stuff." Andy commented, turning on his back.
Bill nodded tiredly. Nodding off to sleep…
Next thing he knew Seth was in the room, hovering over him. He grinned that cocky grin he always does when Bill's around him. Slowly, Bill sat up, his hands latching onto Seth's tie. Seth's eyes looked down, looking at the tight grip. A look of surprise filled his face for the shortest amount of time. Bill ignored it though, biting his lip, trying to look sexy, which he pulled off.
"Bill?" Seth asked though Bill could barely hear it. He sounded so far away.
Bill's hand slowly rose to Seth's mouth, tracing the pink plush lips that had kissed him early. Leaning in, Bill pressed his mouth firmly to Seth's. Oddly, Seth hesitated in his dream, but eventually melted to Bill. Bill moaned when Seth's mouth moved against his, creating the perfect movements.
"Damn," Bill said in his dream, his hand traveling from Seth's neck to his flat stomach.
Seth's grin was back when he asked, "What's that?"
"You're a really good kisser." Bill's hands were working on Seth's buttons as they talked.
"So you liked it when I kissed you earlier?"
Bill's mouth fell open slightly when Seth's shirt fell open, "I'm-I'm sorry, what?"
"Did you like it when I kissed you earlier?" Seth repeated, a seriousness to his voice.
Bill nodded, still in awe at his beautiful chest. "Yeah, a lot." Something clicked in Bill's head causing him to clap and grin in happiness, "You admitted that you kissed me."
Seth chuckled lowly, "Yeah, I did. Andy and Jason went out for the night…"
Bill was enjoying where the dream was going so far, "Yeah?" He replied flirtatiously.
Seth wiggled his eyebrows as Bill pulled him closer by his tie. His hands were now on either sides of Bill's head, trying to avoid from falling over.
"Oh, do you really want to do that?" Bill met Seth's eyes, innocently blinking at his dirty look.
"Tell me exactly what you want." Seth whispered in Bill's ear, pulling away so he could watch Bill.
"I want you Seth," Bill's hands pushed Seth's jacket to the floor, returning back to Seth's tie to play with. "Will you fuck me?" Bill's head cocked to the side as he once more innocently blinked.
Seth visibly gulped, nodded, and then attacked Bill's mouth.
Somehow they'd been against a wall… and then in a bed… and then up against the wall again. Each time better than the other. Seth lay in bed, his arm wrapped around Bill's naked form, spooning the boy. They had done it four times that night, each time more passionate than the other.
/
Bill stretched in his bed. Wait… how did he get here? Bill then noticed the sheets caressing a spot they usually never touch. He was naked…. Next he noticed the arm wrapped around his waist. Slowly he turned around, finding Seth's sleeping figure.
"Oh my god." He whispered, "It wasn't a dream!"
Seth jolted awake from Bill's sudden outburst. He relaxed though, his hand winding back around the boy's waist, "Morning."
Bill gasped, "It wasn't a dream." He repeated.
Seth looked puzzled as he replied, "What wasn't a dream?"
"This." Bill said, stunned. "I thought it was all a dream."
"Seriously?" Seth asked, laughing slightly. "You even thought it was a dream after we had sex… four times?"
Bill blushed furiously, "Did you wear a condom?"
Seth shook his head no, "Is there a reason I should have?"
"Not from my end." Bill snapped.
Seth rolled over on his back, staring at the ceiling, "I don't have anything if that's what you're worried about."
Bill shook his head no, about to get off the bed when pain jolted up his back side. He flinched with a cry, "Fuck! How rough were you?"
Seth held his hands up in his defense, "You were the one begging for it, not me."
Bill flushed again, embarrassment taking over. Seth noticed, putting his hands behind his head smugly. "Yeah, you said I was the best you've ever been with."
Bill whimpered slightly, "I know, I remember."
Seth abruptly turned serious, facing Bill, "You don't regret it… do you?"
Bill looked into his eyes, studying his face, he found himself sincerely answering "No."
Seth smiled sweetly, his eyes trained on Bill's lips, "Good." He whispered before he tackled the boy back down onto the mattress.