Silence Before the Storm

Prologue

I never thought much about dying- dying on the inside that is. The spasms of joy that roll their way through life have tragic endings. And in their violent fall, shatter and die. The painting portraying everyone's life is smudged some way or another. The smudge of my painting resembles all the things that have fallen because of me… tears… blood… loved ones…

It had been four months since the death of Aang, and the Fire Nation was nearing closer to winning the war, and they would when the comet came, which was sometime in the future. Only Aang knew of the time when the delicate earth would crumble beneath the unforgiving fist of the Fire Lord. The only kingdom that still wasn't under the Fire Nation rule was The Water Tribes, but many- even those that did not want to believe it so- knew that the Water Tribes in time would fall to their knees at the Fire Lord's feet. There was little left of the gang. We had become a shattered mess lying on the ground, crying out for help, but none came. We had acquired a new member, but it was a trade that should've never happened. The young and rage filled prince had joined us instead of Azula in Ba Sing Seh, and in turn, we lost two other members. But before that, our powers had started to rise above the young firebending prodigy, but in the end, it wasn't enough. She proved to be too great and powerful, and for our ignorance and blinded ways of not seeing how foolish our actions were, we paid the price with the spilling of a cherished friend and the world's salvation's blood- Toph's blood… and Aang's blood.

All of the little remains of the once great and strong liberators were currently hiding in Zuko's families' old summer house. It was on a small island that only had a population of about 250. We in that house for the longest of times, hoping to once again regain our "honor", - as Zuko had put it time and time again- and rise to our challenge, and defeat it this time. No one left our safe haven in which was only safe for the time being. We never knew when- or if it ever would happen- we would be found out. For the first month or so, we would all sit around waiting for the ambush to happen, waiting for our cover to be blown, waiting for the last bit of all our hope to burn out.

I remember feeling so alone and cold. Without Aang to help guide me through life, I seemed to be nothing. I saw his presence everywhere I went. I wept myself to sleep for over three months. Remembering Aang was nothing compared to the depression. I ached all over. My mind slowed down. I couldn't concentrate even on my waterbending. Each night brought more and more memories that I wished never had ended, and wanted more of them. I couldn't find the peace I once had. When he left, he took the last thing I ever had to hope for. Aang was the only thing that kept me from going insane with the worry and anxiety of the Fire Nation attacking and overrunning the Water Tribes. And now, I do not even know who I am anymore.

Even after I had cried myself to sleep each night, I still could not find any peace- or anything sane for that matter. They came flooding in like a tsunami. They didn't stop. They didn't let up. Every night, it was something different. Each nightmare gave me another thing to fear or dread. They put even more things into my mind, and put more weight on my shoulders. I soon felt as if I had become insane from all the loss and anxiety.

Every day seemed to drag on. Depression became all too real to everyone as I lost all interest in something new every day. I would just sit and stare at the wall or out a window. Sokka and Zuko would urge me to play a game of mahjong or share a cup of tea with them, but nothing seemed suffice. I barely ate anything. I would've starved to death if Zuko and Sokka hadn't of sat down and forced me to eat. I only ate the bare minim to get them to just leave me alone. I grew weak and skinnier without eating my full amount.

It was like that day after day. No one said anything. I guess they both felt that in order for me to come to terms with Aang's death was for me to just mope around. Finally one night, Zuko admitted that he was tired of me being so somber. He said that he would help me mourn him, but be able to go on with my life. I do not think that neither he nor I could ever achieve that goal. I believe that all hope is lost.

~It was a chilling evening- even for the Fire Nation. The sea pushed and pulled waves onto the shore connecting to the beach house. It was Zuko's week to watch me eat my dinner. It was also the night that I decided to be stubborn. I sat in front of an arm crossed Zuko, and staring at him as he tried to urge me to eat my bowl of rice.

"Come now, Katara," he pleaded. "Just eat the rice."

I stared at him. I didn't give in to him when he kidnapped me and interrogated me, so I wouldn't give in to him now. Not even if it was over the matter of a little bowl of rice. I just wouldn't.

Zuko gazed into my cerulean eyes. His eyes blazed with an intense force of angst and compassion. It was a strange mix in feelings, but it somehow all pulled together to create something so compelling within those two small orbs. It was almost magical…

"Please, Katara…" he bit his lip. "This just isn't normal. And it isn't healthy at all. What are you going to do when the eclipse comes? Huh? You won't be strong enough to fight, let alone stand up and walk into the battlefield," he tried to reason. Even with the thought of the attack we were planning on going through with when the eclipse came, it wasn't enough to get me to eat.

"No, it won't work," I mumbled.

Zuko looked up at me. His mouth was slightly parted. "What?"

I sighed. He just didn't get it. He thought that there still was hope. But… There wasn't. There isn't.

"Without Aang," I enlightened. "there isn't any hope. We can't win without Aang."

"Of course we can. We've come close to winning before."

I shook my head. "Yeah, we've come close to winning. We haven't won anything major. The Fire Nation is winning!" I stood up. "With your sister out there spreading all her evil and malice into the world, we can't win."

"Katara, don't be so negative," he chided. A two year difference was not going make me stop and obey him. "Listen, I know how your feeling;"

My lip quivered. I knew what was about to happen again. The tears would come flooding out any second. I snapped my head down. I couldn't let Zuko see me cry. He would only look down on me for it. He would think of me as weak. I couldn't give him the satisfaction of showing him that I was weaker than him. I was. I just couldn't let him know that for sure. As much as it sickened me to know that I was weaker than him, I couldn't help it. It was out of my control.

"You're feeling lost," I began to fidget with the hem of my dress, "cold, and empty, useless, like no one understands you. You feel like you can't talk to anyone- that you have to bottle it all up inside." He paused for a moment before going on.

I stopped. Was that really how it was going to end? He couldn't have been right, could he? No, of course not. I couldn't end up like that. It was completely absurd. It wouldn't- couldn't- end like that. At least, I didn't think so. "Now," Zuko said. "Will you please eat your rice?" he smiled at me.

I sighed. There wasn't a way to get out of this dinner. I slowly reached for my chopsticks and picked up some rice. Zuko watched with intent as I chewed the small amount of rice and swallowed. He watched as I shoveled out every last grain of rice out of the bowl.

Once as I was done, I dropped the chopsticks in the bowl and shoved it back at Zuko as I glared death at him.

Zuko gave me a triumphant grin while I glared at him. He grabbed the bowl and took it to the water pump to wash it off.

I let out a defeated sigh.

Things had been different when it came to Zuko and me. We had opened up a bit since the Great Battle. Things were nicer in a way. Arguing was still commonly heard around the beach house, but it was never escalated to the point of us actually battling. We had grown together; in the sense of we had matured. We weren't those silly kids anymore. We had felt loss and despair, and love. We knew what lay ahead of us if we don't defeat the Fire Lord. We grew closer and we bonded much more than I ever thought would happen.

Something inside us both had erupted- that or snapped from the shock of losing Aang. Something that I guess had been forming for years finally exploded and came out into the real world. When either of us tried to say what it was out loud, we couldn't build up the strength and come over our pride to really say what it was. I don't even think we had both agreed on what it was and that we both felt it. It kind of went without saying. Love. And it was true love. At least, I hoped it was.

At first, I had covered up my feelings and kept saying I was trying to make up my loss of Aang with making up fake feelings for Zuko. Then denial came upon me. I didn't want to admit that I had fallen in love with the Fire Nation Prince. My pride and ego kept me away from what I needed most. What I longed for. Zuko. It sounded so crazy to say that I needed him, Zuko. Of all the people in the world! I had developed feelings for the Fire Prince! I couldn't believe it. But it was true. And I couldn't deny it no matter how much I had wanted to.

"You know," Zuko started while washing the bowl. "I could help you overcome your loss of Aang. Believe me when I say I've had my full share of loss too."

Anger poured from my stomach and out of my mouth like vomit. "Yeah…" I looked down, hatred for the man that killed my mother and Azula flashed behind my eyes. Taking me down into a place I longed to never go again. The events branding the memories into my brain. "So have I."

Zuko suddenly paused, remembering that he wasn't the only one without a mother. "Oh… I'm sorry I forgot you lost your mother too."

"Yeah!" I stood up as he turned around to face me, shocked I had become so bipolar. "Well, I haven't forgotten!" My nose wrinkled in disgust. "She meant everything to me!" I quieted down, sitting back on the stool. "At least you don't know if your mom's dead or alive. I know all too well… I was there…" I spun around in my stool, not wanting to face him.

"Katara," he said with such sympathy I was almost willing to listen to what he had to say. "Don't you think I've been down that road too? I was right there along with you, feeling lost and betrayed by everyone. But you can't give up." He walked over to me, and turned me back around, facing him. "You just can't.

"I know what you do when no one's around. And I feel that same kind of pain. I did what you do." He put a hand on my shoulder, making me look up at him. Our eyes stayed in contact for what seemed like hours on end. It was almost an unbreakable grip that held us together. Slowly, Zuko reached down and took hold of my left hand, and began to untie my wristband. He was going to look upon my wrist. Upon my darkest secret. I wanted to stop him, to slap his hand away, but I just couldn't find the strength to just say no to him. I don't know what possessed me to do nothing, but stare at his hand working its way through to my secret that no one knew. Whether it was the universe or God I don't know.

When Aang died, I gave up on just about everything, even my faith. Before the Great Battle, I was a strong believer in Christ, but then everything changed when Aang died. I became an atheist. I didn't believe in such silly nonsense. I believed that since I couldn't understand how something like Him could be, then He must not be real at all.

Before I knew it, my wristband had fallen to the floor below. Zuko and I both gazed down upon my collection of scars. My escape method that I had tried time and time again showed clearly to us both. My secret had been revealed. My secret life of cutting had become a real thing to Zuko and not just a hunch.

Zuko let go of my hand, letting it cascade into my lap. He then rolled up his sleeve. "Look." He said, pushing out his wrist towards me. "I have a set too."

A/N: Well, there you have it! The first chapter of Silence Before the Storm! I hope you liked it! I really had fun writting it! I'm sorry that it took so long to get it out, but I wanted to make sure it was perfect! So yeah! Chapter 2 will be out soon!

-Neon