"Just go die!" My head throbbed as it was forced yet again under the surface of the water. My chin slid painfully against the side of the bathtub.
This is it. This is the end.
I was so dizzy. My body was screaming for air, my thoughts murky. I counted the seconds until I would join Seimei, wherever he was.

Suddenly, I felt the tensed hands release my neck. I lifted my head from the freezing water, gasping and choking. My mother's disgusted face stared blankly at me. Her skin was alabaster in the dim light of the bathroom, tendrils of black hair sticking to her wet face. Her eyes were vacant. Wordlessly, she left the bathroom. I scrambled after her, nearly slipping on the soaking floor. She shut herself into her room, slamming the door in my face.

I was about to turn the knob when I felt a steady hand on my shoulder.
"Let her go."
Soubi's baritone voice pierced the silence. I nodded. I'll just do what he says.I'm too tired to deny him.

We stepped outside into the humid summer air. I squinted, shielding my eyes from the rapidly sinking sun.
"Have you eaten?"
Of course not, idiot. Typical Soubi, asking questions he already knows the answer to.
"No." My reply was shaky.
We neared a crossroad on the deserted street, and I wondered darkly where we were going. I felt a gentle hand on the small of my back, guiding me down the street that would lead us to Soubi's apartment. My questions were answered.

Soubi's apartment is warm and relatively tidy, with the odd paintbrush or article of clothing lying around. Behind me, I heard the sizzling of vegetables hitting a pan. The scent of stir-fry drifted into the living room where I was seated.
We ate in silence. Soubi looked lost in thought, but would glance at me with a small smile every few moments. I was careful not to meet his gaze.
He thinks I'm silly and weak. Seimei does too, I know it. How can I be Soubi's sacrifice when I can't even protect my own mother?
Midway through the meal, I heard the distinct crack of lightning hitting the earth. I sighed, hunching my shoulders and dreading the walk home.
It was as if Soubi read my mind.
"Why don't you stay the night?"
Under different circumstances, I would have been shocked. I would have given Soubi an incredulous stare and shouted 'Don't be stupid!'.
But right then, I was exhausted. My mouth wouldn't make the words to refuse him.
I only nodded weakly.
He smiled.

He spoke as he led my to his bedroom.
"Sorry, I hope you don't mind sharing."
Something told me he wasn't sorry. He handed me an oversized t-shirt and I changed into it silently. He lifted the covers for me and I slid into bed beside him.
"I love you, Ritsuka."
I felt a horrible clenching feeling in my stomach. His smiled burned a hole through my eyes.
Burned a hole through my heart.
You're lying. You love Seimei. You follow his orders and he ordered you to love me. That isn't love. That's disgusting.
He turned so his chest was against my back. I could feel the steady beating of his heart.
It sent a terrible sense of longing shooting through my body.
Nothing is mine. nothing belongs to me. Not Soubi or Seimei or Mom. He isn't mine. Nothing is mine.

He lazily draped an arm over my middle.
"I love you, Ritsuka." he repeated.

I shoved the palms of my hands into my eyes, as if I could force the tears back in.