As the rain continued to beat down on the windows, Kuroo Tetsurou re-evaluated every bit of his (student) life. He was currently engaged in a staring contest with the white of a word document and felt oddly defeated when he closed his eyes as he let his head fall back, a groan leaving his lips.
Kuroo had started the (gloomy) day brimming with confidence, albeit with slight urgency. He had collected all the necessary textbooks and internet sources he figured he could use. He even opened a few books at the month old bookmarks, when the deadline was still a distant dream. Now, with the deadline a very vivid nightmare, he was at a loss of words.
It was now close to nine pm, the deadline only three hours away, and all Kuroo had created for this monster, was a title page. Just picking the colour scheme alone had taken him more time than he would like to admit. Hell even writing his name on the page had been a hassle, did he want it centered? Did he want it to the left of the page or to the right? All he knew now was that he had been focusing his attention on the unnecessary details to not let his thoughts wander to the dark bits of his mind where he was stressing out.
Kuroo sat up straight again, his fingers hovering over the keyboard as he tried to decide on a proper way to start this punishment straight from hell. Unable to come up with anything, he let out another sigh, whilst running his fingertips over the various keys, watching a line of gibberish appear on the screen.
With yet another sigh, Kuroo stood up and left his desk, to scavenge through the kitchen cabinets. As he collected a bag of chips, he nodded to himself that the solution to his problem was his lack of snacks. As he was emptying the third drawer into his arms, he heard familiar clicking on a telephone screen and couldn't control the corners of his lips as they twirled up onto his face.
''Kuroo, what are you doing?'' Kenma asked, not looking up from his screen as he expertly evaded Kuroo's swinging limbs as the latter attempted to catch the third bag of chips that had slipped from his grip. Kenma himself sighed as he locked his phone and proceeded to make himself a cup of tea. ''You're in the way.'' He stated with a slightly bored expression as he watched Kuroo flail about and drop all his gathered provisions.
''In front of what?'' asked the taller one, slowly gathering his snacks of the ground, sulking slightly.
''The sugar.'' Kenma replied plainly. His golden eyes watched Kuroo's form as the latter scurried away from the cupboard. ''Weren't you supposed to be working on that essay?'' Kenma put a couple of sugar cubes into his mug, frowned at the object and added another two.
''That much sugar can't be healthy.'' Kuroo stated, peering over Kenma's shoulder.
''That much procrastination can't be healthy.'' Kenma's voice was even as he slipped under Kuroo's arms, making sure not to drop his cup. He then attempted to move to the living room, leaving Kuroo to stare at his retreating form.
''Kenma, that was mean!'' Kuroo's voice represented a slight whine and his lips curled as he heard Kenma's tongue click. Kuroo followed the smaller boy to the living room and stared in disbelief when Kenma put his cup on the table to pick up his controller. "You're not even going to comment on that?" Kuroo's voice was dripping in fake hurt but he noticed he was getting under Kenma's skin and that was satisfying enough.
Kuroo dropped all his snacks on the table and let himself fall next to Kenma on the couch. ''Kenmaaa, you're mean!'' he mumbled, his voice a whine he knew Kenma wouldn't appreciate.
''Kuro, go work on that essay.'' Kenma didn't look at him as he said it. He simply resumed his game and left Kuroo to sulk beside him.
After a few moments of silence, Kuroo spoke up. ''So what are you playing?''
''Spot the procrastinator.'' Kenma paused the game to look Kuroo in the eye. ''Ah, found him.'' He had a small smile on his lips as Kuroo stared at him in shock. Kenma picked the cup of tea up, blowing at it cautiously. ''Why don't you just get it over and done with?'' He asked after a few sips.
''I can't get it to work.'' Kuroo admitted, kicking at one bag of chips absentmindedly. ''It's like, I know what I want to say, I know what I need to say, but the words- they just'' He made a lot of hand gestures, and then shoved his hands in his hair.
''You're not gonna find the words there.'' Kenma noted and Kuroo let out a chuckle.
''True.''
''At least you're not wearing that frown anymore.'' Kenma pushed a finger against Kuroo's brow. ''You don't look good with frowns.'' His cheeks were covered with a light coat of red and his golden eyes avoided Kuroo's.
''Aww Ken-chan, you're so cute.'' Kuroo pulled the smaller boy to him to poke him in the cheek.
''Never mind.'' Kenma stated, partly smiling, partly frowning. ''So, why is it not working? What do you mean 'you can't find the words'?''
''I just can't!'' Kuroo's face returned to the scowl. ''I know I should've finished this ages ago, maybe I should've done a bit every day. I have all the bookmarks, all the articles I need. I even have a freaking example paper to see how I'm supposed to tackle this.'' He stopped to catch his breath and shook his head. ''But I can't get my thoughts on paper. And with every moment that I'm not writing it down I am losing even more time because I only have three hours left and I'm not gonna finish it all in time!''
Kuroo tugged at his hair and took another deep breath. ''Maybe this was a mistake after all? Maybe I shouldn't have decided to study psychology after all? Maybe I should've just listened to everyone around me and do something with chemistry. Chemistry projects wouldn't bring me this close to crying.''
''Kuroo, calm down.'' Kenma pulled at Kuroo's hands that seemed hell bent on plucking himself bald.
''I can't Kenma, I can't!'' Kuroo's voice was shrill as he looked at Kenma with panic in his eyes. ''It counts for thirty percent of my final grade. And yes I realise that thirty percent is not an awful lot but I need a good grade or at least a passing grade on this because if I don't I will have to resit the actual exam as well because apparently if I fail for either the written exam or this assignment I have to redo both and I just don't have the time for that, Kenma, I don't.'' Kuroo felt himself grow dizzy but he couldn't stop the string of words that kept falling without any thoughts, ''I mean sure, I should've started earlier, I knew this would happen but every week there was something else that needed my attention, something else that needed to get done, something more urgent and that's just what this entire block's been like. Just when I think I'm catching up I'm falling behind and now I'm stressing out over this dumb assignment while I still have to prepare for my lecture tomorrow and that are another three chapters I need to read. You know how many pages that is? That's 100 pages and then some. I don't have time to read all of that. And it's also for this stupid course. Does the administration think we don't have a life or something?! I mean, obviously they don't since they keep assigning us more and more work! Have they even looked at the syllabus? The amount of reading they expect us to do is insane! And that's just the beginning of it all, can you believe-
''Kuro. Calm down.'' Kenma's pleas fell on deaf ears as Kuroo shook his head.
''No Kenma, you don't get it. I can't calm down! I have messed up pretty bad and I don't know how to fix this. Maybe I should've listened when everyone told me this was a mistake. Should've listened, should've realised I'm not good enough, not smart enough!''
''You work hard, you work so hard. Don't belittle your own effort.'' Kenma's voice was no match for the flurry of words Kuroo unleashed.
''Kenma, it's simply not enough. Is that so hard to understand? I work my butt off, I work so hard, I try my best every damn day and it's all not enough. I'm not enough. I can continue this until I burnout, study every day, work and work and work but it's not gonna make up for my lack of intelligence. For everything I lack. Maybe I don't work enough, but I don't know how much more I can do. I give it my all every single damn day and it's just never gonna be good enough.'' Kuroo ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the strands when his fingers got caught. ''I'm just not enough Kenma, I never was and I probably never will be either. I should just give-
''Tetsurou.'' Kenma placed his hands on Kuroo's shoulders firmly, ''Breathe.''
Kuroo blinked a few times, his chest heaving as he followed Kenma's advice.
''We both know you're not stupid.'' Kenma's voice was stable, matter-of-fact even. ''You wanted to study this, you wanted to make a difference in this world.'' Kenma stopped to place one of his hands on Kuroo's face. ''You are always good enough. 'They' are stupid for not realising how amazing you are.'' A soft coat of blush covered Kenma's cheeks but he pushed through. ''I am beyond proud of how hard you work every single day. You inspired me every day, every time you have a hard time, you get right back up. You struggle, you feel like giving up and then you just get up and you tackle the things and you continue. That's strength and that's why I won't let you trash-talk yourself. You're good enough Tetsurou, you are.''
Kenma watched Kuroo register all the words and felt a sense of relief come over him when Kuroo nodded and grinned sheepishly. The two remained in this tranquil state, Kuroo leaning in to Kenma's touch and Kenma fighting the blush that was creeping down his neck. Kuroo moved in closer, allowing Kenma to wrap his arms around him, pulling him into a warm embrace.
''Sorry.'' Kuroo mumbled as he hid his face in Kenma's neck. He felt the younger boy stiffen and fought the urge to chuckle.
''You don't have to say sorry.''
''Thank you then.'' Kuroo snuggled his face closer to Kenma's neck, pressing a quick kiss to the exposed skin, ''For not giving up on me.''
Kenma hummed a bit, running his hands through Kuroo's hair softly. ''You deserve someone to always have your back and I want to be that person for you.''
''You are.''
Kenma sighed relieved and pulled Kuroo's face to his. He cupped the taller boy's cheeks, after brushing the annoying fringe out of the way. He pressed his own lips to Kuroo's quickly, enjoying the way Kuroo's cheeks flushed.
''Now, get back to work.'' He murmured, watching Kuroo's expression shift from slight surprise to smug.
''Maybe if you give me one more kiss.'' Kuroo teased, poking Kenma's cheeks with his trademark lopsided grin.
''Maybe if you finish your work.'' Kenma smiled as he watched Kuroo pump his fist into the air triumphantly. ''No promises though.''
''This is all the motivation I needed,'' Kuroo jumped off the couch, not before pressing his lips to Kenma's cheek, ''I love you baby, thank you.''
''I love you too. Good luck.''