Well, I really didn't want my first fanfic to be half-crackfic, but I've got to start somewhere. Here goes!
Pit knew something bad was going to happen as soon as Master Hand called for a group meeting. The only reason he ever called for a group meeting was when the world was about to end or something equally disastrous was going to happen. Whenever the Hand called for all of the Brawlers in one place, the constant talking prevented any important messages from getting across to anyone, and by the end of the meeting there was either a huge every-man-for-himself brawl, or, if there was a disastrous life or death situation, almost everyone was asleep. Pit came to the room fully armed, only to be tackled from behind by a sugar-high Lucas.
"Give me more! NEED MORE SUGAR!" Lucas screamed as Pit flailed helplessly around the room, running into other Brawlers in his attempts to detach the sugar-high psychic from his back. Eventually Pit fell flat on his back, then flung himself forward, sending Lucas sprawling into Ness.
"Hey! Leave Lucas alone!" Ness shouted at Pit, throwing his baseball bat only for Pit to dodge. The bat hit Link on the nose.
"You're gonna pay for that!" The usual chain reaction started.
Five minutes later, Master Hand walked into the room just in time to see Meta Knight, Pit, and Charizard facing off in a midair fight. Below them, the other Brawlers could be seen with the exception of Snake, who was hiding in his box in a corner.
"STOP!" The angry hand bellowed. He was louder than usual, and the fighting ceased instantly. The three in the air glided to the floor. Pleased with this reaction, Master Hand continued, "It has come to my attention that the Brawlers are becoming lazy. In an effort to prevent you from turning into oversized video game addicts that used to be heroes and/or villains, Crazy and I have invented a program that will keep you on your feet. You see, every time you do something useless and not active, you will gain 'fat counters'. The only way to get rid of fat counters is to give them to someone else, like, say if the Ice Climbers were climbing the rock wall. If no one was watching, they wouldn't lose fat counters. But if Bowser was watching them, and not doing anything, he would gain fat counters. We'll test this program for one week. Anyone with more than five fat counters at the end of the week has to clean all of the mansion's bathrooms for a month. If more than one person has more than five, you will be assigned different months. Make sense?"
One second of silence, then- "Starts right now, right? See ya, suckers!" Samus called before bolting out of the room.
Before anyone else had time to react, a mechanical female voice came out of nowhere and said, "Delayed reaction. One fat counter gained." A blue glowing holographic screen appeared by every Brawler in the room and showed a circle with an 'F' in it. The bottom read 'counters-one'.
"We're all going to die!" Captain Falcon screeched, and the room broke into complete chaos once again. Master hand grinned evilly and left the room with Crazy on his heels, cackling to himself.
Well, that's chapter one! I hate commas, so if I use one incorrectly don't go and die or something. I'm a grammar freak, if you haven't already noticed. Either way, please don't flame, and review!