Lest we Forget
Chapter 1: To those we have forgotten
(Azkaban Prison, 2008)
Voices echoed through his head. Whether he was imagining it or not he wasn't sure, it was hard to discern between reality and the horrors of his mind.
"Should we tell him?" He thought he recognized the voice but he couldn't place from where.
"-forgot about him." It was so hard to focus on what they were saying.
"-kill him." That voice. So familiar. 'Please do ... Please kill me. I can't stand this purgatory I'm in. I'm trapped. I don't know what's real.' His mind screamed where his voice could not.
The voices stopped. When did they leave? Come back. You seemed almost real. How long had it been? How long had he been here? It's so cold.
He could feel pain once again as someone hit him. Kicked him. Was he screaming? He couldn't even tell.
"-op it!" That voice was back. The familiar one. The pain nearly stopped. Or at least the hitting stopped. The pain remained. It always remained.
He could hear yelling, but the voice sounded far away. Distorted. 'Help me!' He felt like he was drowning. He couldn't breath.
He felt a slight pressure on his chest and the liquid was cleared. He could feel arms around him. Could hear that familiar voice talking to him. He couldn't understand him, but his words seemed soothing. Almost safe.
Sirius' body could not be more tense than it was. Being back in Azkaban, even on a 'visit' of sorts was more than nerve racking. Even without the presence of the Dementors it was dark, dank and foreboding.
"Relax Sirius." Sirius looked over to Dumbledore. "You need to keep a level head." Albus said as the guard opened the cell door. Sirius didn't know why, but he imagined the person in the cell as the dark potions master, standing in the middle of the cell, dark black robes billowing around him as he paced angrily in his confines.
He was not prepared for what he saw in reality. Severus lay in the middle of the room, his thin frame practically swimming in his dirty prison garb. His hair had grown well past his shoulders, even though it was shaved off when he had been sentenced. From the looks of it, it went nearly down to his waist. His eyes were sunk in, and despite the fact that they were open slightly, Sirius doubted he knew they were there.
"Should we tell him?" Sirius asked Dumbledore.
"Leave him be for now. No need moving him before it's necessary."
"I still don't believe they forgot about him." Sirius said. "I mean I never liked the guy but I never would wish this on anyone. Especially after Voldemort tried to kill him."
"Neither do I." Said Dumbledore simply. "I believe they had every intent on keeping him here as punishment for his ... crimes ..." Dumbledore sighed and looked down at Severus before bringing his attention back to Sirius. "I must go and speak to the officials about his release papers. I shall be back in a few minutes." Sirius nodded as Dumbledore left the room.
Sirius stared at Snape's prone body in silence, wondering if he talked if the man could hear him. It seemed like forever before the cell door opened again. Sirius turned to see one of the Azkaban guards come in.
"I've been ordered to bring this dirt bucket to the Ministers Office." He said kicking Snape hard in the ribs. The guard paused then kicked him in the face for good measure.
"Stop it!" Sirius yelled, knocking the guard away. It took him a moment to realize that there was blood in Snape's mouth, and he was struggling to breath.
Sirius pulled out his wand and quickly freed Snape's airway of any obstructions. Snape gasped for breath, but it was weak. He could see tears streaming down his cheeks and knew from experience that Snape had no idea what was going on and that he was terrified.
He could feel Snape shaking against him as he pulled him into a comforting embrace.
"It's okay Severus, you're safe now. We're getting you out of here." He said as the guard spit at them.
"Come on, we don't have all day." The guard said angrily. Sirius struggled to help Severus stand but once up Snape seemed ... though shakey ... stable enough to walk with some help.
The guard had pushed and prodded Severus all the way to the Ministers Office.
After the second wizarding war, or the battle at Hogwarts, as many liked to call it, Knigsley Shacklebolt had been deemed Minister of Magic. But due to an unexpected illness a few months later, the title had been past to a man named Gareth Prince.
Sirius helped him into the large office. The office was a little brighter than the rest of the prison but was still dark and foreboding.
The minister stood at his desk accepting the papers Dumbledore was handing him.
The minister waved his wand and Severus' belongings appeared in a cardboard box on his desk. Sirius assumed it must have been an attempt to embarrass the man, the minister waved his wand again and the prison garb that Severus wore disappeared. To the ministers dismay and annoyance the man didn't even seem to notice. Sirius took Snape's white dress shirt that was still torn and blood stained at the collar and helped Snape put it on, shortly followed by his black dress pants.
The clothes that had previously fit him snugly, now hung off of him almost as loosely as the prison garb had.
"You would think you'd have more compassion for your own nephew." Dombledore said in disgust.
"He is no nephew of mine. His mother was a disgrace to our family for marrying that filthy muggle, and producing such a horrid child. Should have drowned him when he was born. And it's against my better judgment to be setting him free."
"Need I remind you minister-" Dumbledore said but was interrupted by Gareth.
"Yes, yes, I know." He snarled, oddly looking very much like an older version of Snape, though his short black hair was starting to gray. "Get him out of my sight before I lock him back up."
Sirius and Dumbledore both left, going through Gilbert's floo network as it seemed safer to take Severus that way rather than apperating from the office.
The floo network almost seemed to work like a bucket of cold ice water on Severus. He reached the other side, falling out of the fire place onto the floor and shivered in fear of what just happened.
"Severus." Sirius said going to him. Sirius tired to embrace him and had to fight against Severus' attempts to get away before he managed to hold him and calm him down. Severus weakly clung onto him listening to his calming voice as if he let go he would fall.
"He seems to cling to you as a safeguard Sirius." Dumbledore said.
"I don't see why." Sirius said. "He hates me."
"Hated, I think would be a more appropriate word. I think he finds your voice familiar. You've also been the only person to be kind to him in over ten years." Sirius let Severus go slowly and stood up allowing Severus to huddle by Dumbledore's desk.
"I believe, if you agree, that it would be in Severus' best interest that he stay with you."
"What? But I -"
"Have experience with leaving Azkaban. You'll know for the most part how he feels, how he'll react, what he can or cannot handle. And he already had taken comfort in your presence."
"But -"
"Sirius, you are the best candidate for this. You will have help of course. From both me and the Hogwarts house elves. As well as I will support Severus financially."
Sirius sighed and looked down at Severus who seemed very interested in a single fiber in the carpet.
"If you think that is what is best." Sirius said defeated.
"I will arrange for him to be brought to Grimauld Place. In the mean time, I will have Poppy take a look at him and it will allow you time to get Kreature to prepare a room for him."
"Of course Headmaster." He said before flooing home to Grimauld Place.
"Kreature!" Sirius bellowed. Loud grumbling and a clatter came from the hallway before Kreature stepped into the room.
"Yes, Master Sirius?" Kreature asked.
"Can you prepare a guest room for me please? Make sure there is no sharp objects, anything that can be tripped over, no string, no wire, anything you deem potentially dangerous I want removed and make it as bright as possible without it looking like St. Mongos psych ward. Change the colours of the walls and floors if need be but make it look ... cheery." He had learned from Harry, if you are kind to Kreature he will listen, and with Harry's help, Kreature and Sirius begrudgingly got along.
"Of course, Master Sirius. May I ask who the guest is, to better suit the room?" Kreature asked.
"A former Azkaban prisoner. That's all you need to know." Sirius said.
"Ah, so Master Severus is coming?" Kreature asked with a slight smirk on his face.
"How did you know it was him?" Sirius looked at him confused.
"He seemed the most logical person that fit that description sir. And I didn't know, you confirmed it. It was more of a well educated guess." Sirius looked at him annoyed before Kreature left the room.
Sirius sat down at the table, using magic to make himself a cup of tea. He waited at the table for what seemed like forever. Kreature had come down and announced that the room was ready. Sirius had inspected it, Kreature had done a fantastic job. Not that he would admit it. He said thank you to Kreature and sat back down at the table with his fourth cup of tea.
It wasn't much longer that Severus arrived with Dumbledore at the front door. He allowed him and Severus in, noting that Severus was shaking.
"Has he said anything yet?" Sirius asked. Dumbledore shook his head sadly.
"He hasn't made a single sound. I don't know if it's from lack of ability or from lack of wanting to, I'm not sure." Dumbledore explained. "Poppy has done a full examination. He's weak due to malnourishment, but that's to be expected. As for his mental state, there is little to no chance of him recovering fully, but we should, with due time, be able to make him function on his own again. Perhaps even return to his own house." Dumbledore looked at Severus who stood with his arms folded over his chest, shaking, his eyes fixed on the floor in front of him. "Until then ..."
"He'll be safe here Headmaster." Sirius said. Dumbledore smiled.
"It has been years since you've been a student of mine Sirius, please call me Albus." He said.
"Of course ... Albus ..." He said feeling a bit weird.
Dumbledore turned to Severus. "I'm leaving you in Sirius' care now." He said putting his hand on Severus' arm. Severus pulled away from him, still shaking. "You'll be safe here, alright?" Severus didn't respond at all. Albus turned to Sirius and wished him luck before returning to Hogwarts.
Sirius stood there staring at Severus a few moments wondering what to do.
"Are you hungry?" Sirius asked. He waited a few moments but got no response. "I suppose you should take a bath as well. I can cut your hair for you as well if you'd like." He waited a few more moments. Still no response. "Severus?" He asked slowly stepping towards him. "Severus, it's okay." He said slowly pulling him into a loose embrace. Severus fought against him a moment, before giving in. "Come, lets get you cleaned up and fed. You'll feel almost human again."
Severus followed him mindlessly, having a little trouble with the stairs, but made it to the bathroom. He sat Severus down on the toilet lid and, with some difficulty, cut Snape's hair. It was a little shorter than it was years ago, and he had to layer it for it to look normal after cutting out the tangles and years of grime.
Severus just sat quietly while he did so. After Sirius was done he waved his wand at the tub and filled it with warm water. He didn't want to burn him. He helped Severus take off his clothes, Severus being surprisingly compliant.
Sirius cringed at all the scars all over Snape's body. The most prominent was the large bite scar on the left side of his neck. It looked like once they got rid of the Dementors they started resorting to physical abuse. He ran a finger along a particularly long nasty one that ran from Snape's top right collar bone and ran straight down to his left hip. Severus pulled away from him when he did this.
"Sorry." He said. "Come on, I'll help you into the bath." He said leading him towards the tub. As soon as Snape saw the water his eyes widened in fear and he scrambled to get away from it. "What's wrong?" Sirius asked not seeing what Snape had to fear. "It's okay, It's just water." Snape fell back and huddled against the wall shivering, hugging his legs to his chest. Sirius looked at the tube and realized that there wasn't a chance that he would get him in the tub.
He conjured a bowl with some water and a sponge and dipped it into the water. "Severus it's okay. I'm just going to clean the dirt off of you. Okay?" He said. He didn't get a response as Severus was still staring at the tub. He took the wet sponge and ran it along Snape's arm. Snape looked like he was going to pull away but seemed to decide that the feeling wasn't unpleasant, and remained still.
Sirius concentrated or what he was doing, trying not to allow his own embarrassment show as he washed the naked man before him. He felt a little uncomfortable when he got to Snape's more private parts, but the other man didn't seem to even notice what he was doing. Sirius finished that area quickly and moved down onto his legs. After Sirius was done, he removed his socks and threw them into the hall and rolled up his pant legs.
"Severus, I need you to close your eyes tight, okay?" He said. "I'm not going to hurt you, but I need to wash your hair okay?" He had to repeat himself a few times, even did a few demonstrations before Severus finally did it. Sirius took the bowl and slowly poured the water over Snape's head, careful not to get it into his face. Snape tensed but didn't pull away. He didn't like the water, but it wasn't hurting him.
Sirius managed to wash his hair, having a bit of an issue when he accidentally got soap in Snape's eyes. It had taken nearly half an hour to calm him down after that, but he managed to get the rest of the soap out of his hair. He got him dressed again in some of his old clothes, and lead him downstairs to the kitchen.
"We should make you something light. Something your stomach can handle. I think soup would be best." He said. "Kreature." Severus jumped and landed on the floor as Kreature appeared beside him with a pop.
"My apologies, Master Severus." He said. "I did not mean to frighten you." Despite Kreature's apology Snape still scrambled to the other side of the table.
"Kreature, would you be able to make us some soup?" He asked. "Something light that Severus would be able to handle."
"Of course." He said dramatically before disappearing once again. It wasn't long before Kreature returned with two bowls of warm soup and some crackers and a glass of water for Severus. Sirius reheated his tea. Severus stared at the soup a moment. Sirius wondered if he would need to feed him as well but was glad to see him pick up the spoon himself. He had a little trouble as his perception was off and his hands were shaking still, but he managed to eat at least half the bowl.
He knew that wouldn't be good for Severus to eat just before bed, but it was now nearing one A.M.
"Come Severus. I'll take you to your room. You can get some sleep and we'll take it again int he morning." He took Severus arm and lead him back up the stairs, to his room.
Kreature had done a fantastic job of the room. The walls were now a light beige almost cream colour and the floor was a mid tone hardwood floor. The room held a simple bed, a dresser that was spelled so the drawers wouldn't pull completely out, and there was a closet where Severus could store his things once he regained some of his belongings. The only other thing was a bedside dresser with an oil lamp on it.
"You can sleep here tonight, alright Severus?" Severus didn't even seem to look at the room. Sirius helped him into a pair of pajamas and helped him into bed. "I'll come again in the morning, if you need anything, I'm in the room across the hall. Okay?" He waited for a few moments but got no response.
He sighed deeply before turning the lamp off, not seeing Severus tense once again.
((TBC ... hope you all enjoyed ... more to come soon. Please R&R ...))