Summary: Little Estel is angry with his foster father and Legolas tells him a sad story about reckless words.
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Unfortunately none of the characters belongs to me.
Title: „I hate you!"
Author: Telcontar
„I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" little Estel yelled, tears running down his cheeks.
„Estel...", Elrond began, but the seven-year-old boy turned around, his anger and dissapointment clearly shown on his face, and ran out of his foster-father´s study.
For a moment, the Elf-Lord was stunned by the boy´s outburst, though recovered quickly and decided to follow his son. On the stairs, he met the twins and Legolas, who were looking quite confused.
„Ada, what was that about? Why is Estel so upset? He nearly overran us and we have heard him yelling at you." Elladan was concerned. Of course he had tried to stop his little brother, but the child just kept on running and had angrily shouted „Leave me be".
„Estel asked me for permission to accompany you on your hunting trip tomorrow. I tried to assert him it was too dangerous and refused to allow it. He did not accept my desicion and became very mad with me. You know his temper." Elrond sighed, „I will talk to him again."
Legolas looked at the Elf-Lord, a strange expression on his face. After a moment of hesitation, he began to speak.
„Nay, please, may I go and speak with him? There is something I wish to tell him." Elrond realised a sad undertone in the blonde elf´s voice, as the prince spoke and nodded his permission. He had no idea what the cause of the sadness was, though he realised it was somehow important for Legolas to talk with Estel.
The archer knew exactly where to look for his young friend, since the boy had once shown him his favourite spot in the great garden of Imladris. Legolas had been rather surprised as the boy lead him to his own haunt. A large, very old oak, surrounded by a meadow with glorious red, yellow and blue flowers. Although the wood-elf prefered to climb the huge tree, they had spent many hours just lying in the grass, sometimes talking, sometimes silently enjoying the sun.
The boy had his head resting on his knees and the prince could tell he was weeping.
„Estel?" he asked softly and sat down next to his friend.
The child did not look up and the elf could hear a muffled „Go away!"
Pretending to not have heard it, Legolas laid a comforting hand on the boy´s shoulder, who did not withdraw, and began to spoke in a comforting voice. „ Your Adar loves you and he just wants to protect you. It is too dangerous for you to accompany us."
„He treats me like a baby! I am already seven! I hate him!" Estel pouted.
„Be careful with those words, penneth." to the boy´s great surprise, the archer´s voice was not angry, though unbelievable sad. „You do not hate your father, we both know that, and saying so can hurt more than you can imagine. Not only others, but yourself as well." Those words were spoken soft and full of grief, what caused Estel to raise his head and face his friend, still tracks of tears on his cheeks, but Legolas did not look at him. The prince`s gaze was fixed on the ground as he spoke again, but the child could see the hurt in the blue eyes.
„What I am going to tell you now, I have never told anyone, not even my Adar. One day, long time ago - I was a mere elfling - I took my father´s sword from the wall and toyed with it. Of course I knew I was not allowed to do so, but I was so fascinated with the glorious weapon and imagined to slay orcs with the elegant blade. I was rather a mischief-maker when I was an young." A smile flickered over the elf´s face, but faded when he continued. „My Naneth catched me by doing so and was not pleased. She ordered me to rub the floor in the great hall in the afternoon. It has been a sunny day, I had planned to go to the river with my friends and became very angry with Nana. I spat out `I hate you!´ and ran out of the room, without looking at her again."
Legolas stopped talking, raised his head and looked directly in Estel´s stunned face, his eye´s full of emotional pain.
„Why do you tell me that? What happened?" The boy bit his lip. He had not wanted to push his friend, but was too curious.
The elf took a deep breath before he continued, his voice slightly trembling. „The whole day I was mad with my Naneth and when I finished with the floor, I retreated to my room, pretending to be not willing to see anyone, but the most part of me was not angry anymore and I already regreted my harsh words from earlier. Usually Nana came to me in the evening to say ´good night´, and I waited for her, to reconcile, but this day, Ada came. When I saw his tear-streamed face, I new immediately there was something wrong with Nana." The elf paused for a moment and Estel could see tears welling up in his eyes.
„Nana had been attacked by orcs this afternoon. At this time my home was not as dangerous as it is now and it was completely unexpected. My Naneth died in my father´s arms,....and the last words she had ever heard from me had been ´I hate you!´" Unable to speek anymore, Legolas burried his face in his hands. A soft sob shook his shoulders. For a moment Estel was too shocked to say or do anything, but then he laid a comforting hand on his friend´s shoulder.
„I am sure your Nana knew you loved her, Legolas, no matter what you said!" he tried to comfort the distraught elf, who just shook his head.
„Never had I the chance to appologize. My words were so reckless!" with tear-glittering eyes, the prince looked at the boy. „Please Estel, promise me you will never say something like this to somebody without thinking. You may never have the opportunity for an excuse and I do not want to see you bare the same guilt as I do."
The boy hesitated a moment and then smiled. „I will tell Ada I am sorry and you have my promise, Mellon nin. But you must also give me a promise: Stop blaming yourself! I did not know your naneth, but I am sure it would hurt her more to see her beloved son feeling guilty, than your words had. Push your self-blaming away and remember the days of love and joy you both had together." For a moment their gazes met. Estel could see the struggle in the elf´s heart and wondered if he had gone too fare . Before he could say anything else, the prince embranced the surprised boy. „I promise you!" he wispered, „Hannon le, penneth! You are a very wise child." They sat there for a long time, hugging each other. Legolas felt the weight of gilt, he had carried for so long, drop from his heart. He closed his eyes and could see his Nana smiling on him.
END