Post-ep to "Demonology" and my take on what happened after Dave and Em parted ways.

Song prompt: "Who Loves You?" by The Four Seasons

Who Loves You?

The snow fell softly around Em as she sat on the third to bottom step of the cathedral. She had gone there to think and to pray but neither had brought her any closure. Now the snow was piling around her and she was growing cold, but she didn't want to leave. There were still so many questions and no sufficient answers.

Who could explain what had happened to Matthew and the others? Could it be explained? If so, would it ever be enough?

Burrowing deeper into her coat, she sighed. Nothing short of God Himself coming down could ease the pain in her heart. And He wouldn't…not with all the other evils in the world could He possibly worry about her. Besides, the pain was hers to deal with and to make sense of…and if she couldn't, well, there was always that lock box she used to file everything away.

But for now, she needed the peace and quiet.

"Pneumonia is one way of getting out of the next assignment," a voice remarked matter of fact.

Looking up from her position, Em groaned. Rossi. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought you were going to walk around for a while." He sat down beside her.

"I was…but I got detoured."

"You got 'called'," he replied. Em looked away. "So, why are you here and not at home?"

She shrugged. "I was looking for an answer."

"Did you find one?"

"No."

Dave hunkered down into his coat. "What answers are you looking for?"

"Not answers…just an answer."

"There isn't one."

"There has to be," she argued. "Everything has a reason. Nothing is by chance."

Dave looked down. "Sometimes there is no reason. Looking for an answer that isn't there isn't going to make things better."

"But I have to know! I have to know that Matthew and the others didn't die in vain. I have to know that Matthew's life meant something more than just being a blurb in one of our files."

"It won't bring him back, Emily."

Em stood up and paced the sidewalk. "Dammit! I know that! Don't you think I know that?"

Dave watched her carefully. He had found out more about her in the past forty-eight hours than he had thought possible. But there was so much more to her and he wanted to know everything.

"What is really bothering you?" he asked quietly.

"Honestly," she replied in a tight voice, "Matthew's death was my fault."

"How do you figure?"

"I made him choose between me and the Church. I was what drove him over the edge."

"Can you honestly say that?" Dave leveled back at her.

"You saw it Dave; his parents couldn't even look me in the eye when we were there. They blame me for all that went wrong in his life."

Dave stood up. "That's pretty noble of you to take on everyone's sins. Matthew was a grown man who made choices…some good and others not so much. No one forced him to go down the road he chose. You didn't lead him."

A few stray tears slipped out. "My mistake caused his downfall."

"You said it yourself that he was always butting heads with the Church. Your 'mistake' had nothing to do with what happened." He stepped forward and put his hands on her shoulders to stop her pacing. "A crazy priest who perverted the Word of God for his own purposes did this. He caused the death of that other priest before the pilgrimage and when he was discovered, he did everything he could to eliminate witnesses."

Em tried to meet his eyes, but couldn't. Instead, she focused on the snow covered area.

"Look at me Em," Dave ordered. "The priest was the bad guy. Matthew was trying to expose him. He was the good guy. Sometimes the good guy wins. But then, like in this case, sometimes the good guy loses. Fortunately, there were other good guys waiting to do what it took to get the bad guy. We won today. Matthew won. You can be proud of that."

Em shook her head. "I can't. Not when I know that Matthew gave his life for me."

"Matthew didn't give his life for you. Matthew's life was take for someone else's twisted sense of reality."

"But what about John? He risked his life coming to me and letting me know what was happening. He almost became a victim."

"You saved him. You did your good deed. You redeemed yourself for what ever sin you think you committed. Now you have to let it go."

"I don't know," she answered, her breath shuddering from cold and sorrow.

"Emily! You no more made Matthew choose his road and decisions than you made me choose mine," he snapped.

"What do you mean?"

"Aaron told me to stand down and to let this go because the blow back was going to not only tarnish the FBI but ultimately lead to the dissolution of the BAU! I went against him."

Em wiped at her nose. "Why? Why would you do that?"

"Do I need a reason?"

"David Rossi always needs a reason…or so the FBI rumour mill says."

"Rumour mills have been known to get it wrong. I'm only self-sacrificing when it comes to my friends." He put a finger under her chin. He raised her eyes to meet his. "Like today."

"I wish I had known so I could've stopped you."

Dave raised his eyebrow. "If Aaron Hotchner couldn't stop me, what makes you think you could?"

She shrugged. "I could've tried."

"That's all you could have done." He paused to think before asking, "So, why did you come here?"

"I guess to say good-bye," she whispered. The tears ran down faster to pool at her chin and fall to the snow. "I won't be able to go to the funeral. Matthew's parents won't allow me. This was the best way I knew of to try and make my peace with him."

"Make your peace, but don't take on anymore guilt. Becoming a martyr won't dissolve you of your sins." Reaching out, he cupped her cheek. "Em, you're as cold as ice. You shouldn't be out here."

"I know." She shivered.

"That offer to drive you anywhere you wanted wasn't just for show; I meant it."

"I'm okay."

"Well, your car is still at the Hoover Building and your brownstone is quite a distance from here and there. Walking in this would not be advisable."

"Dave…"

"Don't 'Dave' me. Take the offer I'm extending. You shouldn't be alone."

"It's not as though I have anywhere to go for the next few days. You, on the other hand, might have other things you'll want to do," she replied.

Dave grimaced. "Not for the next few days. I'm on suspension, too." She raised an eyebrow. "I over stepped my boundaries…regardless of the UNSUB being caught…and that doesn't sit well with the chain of command."

"I'm sorry, Dave," she apologized.

He raised a shoulder and dropped it. "Some things never change. I will always step on toes to do the right thing."

She let out her breath in one long stream. "Where do we go from here?"

"I think you know that answer."

"Dave…"

"You have to go to the funeral, and when you do, you are going to need someone to be there for you."

Em blinked back the sudden rush of tears. "You would do that? For me?"

"Yes."

"Why?" she choked out.

Dave ran a thumb along her cheek and caught a tear. "I could tell you, but I'll let you figure it out for yourself." Taking her hand in his, he tried to warm it up. "Come on Em; let's get out of here. Leave the memories in the past where they belong."

"I will tomorrow," she replied. She grasped his hand tightly as they made their way to his car. "But tonight I want to forget about everything. I just want to feel good…even if it's only for five minutes."

"Emily…"

Pressing her lips to his, she kissed him hard. This was her only chance at seeing what all the fuss was about and she wasn't disappointed. In fact, far from it. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she pulled him closer. As her tongue demanded entrance, she felt him resist for a moment, then let her in. So sweet and powerful, she felt her knees go weak.

Weaving his fingers thru Em's hair, Dave deepened the kiss. She tasted so good, and she definitely knew what she was doing. Once he let her go, they would have to resort back to their old selves, but for the moment, she was in his arms.

Slowly, Dave pulled back, his heavy breathing caused big puffs of steam to fill the air. "We can't do that again. There are regs that we have to follow," he stated evenly but his heart was pounding.

"Are you telling me that you're all of a sudden worried about regs?" Em asked seriously.

Dave's heartbeat was returning to normal, but his blood was still boiling hot. "What are you asking?"

"Help me to forget. Please."

"Emily…"

Her eyes pleaded with his. "Please."

Dave swallowed…hard. "Let me take you home then," he offered. Quietly she nodded.

Momentarily he debated the moment as he helped her inside the car. He reminded himself that he had made a promise to protect her.

And David Rossi always kept his promises.